Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto Universe. Count yourselves lucky, there'd be a bunch of typos, it would look like it was drawn by a four year old.

Author's Note at the end of the chapter.

Ninko, Chapter 8: Of Tests and Failure

"Hmm, well at least you're all good at hiding..." Namiashi Akane remarked with a pout, "...well, for academy students at least."

The jounin stalked through the grove of trees with silent footsteps, humming a tune as she walked. "Y'know," she stated suddenly, "I wonder what would happen if I killed a Hyuuga Branch Member in a 'training accident'." Scrunching her nose up in thought she began listing off consequences as they came into her head. "Hmm, well, I'd probably have to make a formal apology, or some bullshit like that. Then there'd probably be disciplinary action. Maybe I'd have to do a few months of D-ranks..."

Trailing off, she continued her laid-back pace. Her eyes raked the trees, and she smirked. "Oh, I probably wouldn't have to teach any more brats again! That'd be awesome! Maybe even worth the D-ranks."

A blond-haired aspiring-genin couldn't resist the urge to sweat from his perch above his sensei. Fortunately, she hadn't spotted the genjutsu he'd placed over his hiding spot in the tree limbs. Of course, it was a great deal easier to fool her eyes than a Hyuuga's-

"Oh, but what's this!" the woman suddenly exclaimed, startling the whiskered boy. His jerky movement made hardly a sound, yet a yellowed leaf was plucked from it's home on a tree limb and began to fall, swaying in the breeze-less morning air. 'Crap! If it leaves my genjutsu, it'll look like it appears out of thin air.'

Placing his hands into a ram seal, Naruto attempts to subtly change the genjutsu's appearance to account for the leaf, but pauses.

"Tsk, tsk, so sloppy," he heard his sensei mutter, and he looked down towards the ground to see her spinning a kunai. "Someone failed to still their chakra flow!"

With a whistle the kunai flicked from her hands and into the trees. With a disturbing 'slick' it sunk into the flesh of Naruto's throat. His reached for the weapon, and his hands felt slick with blood as he failed to breath, gargling pathetically. His illusion dispelled as he tumbled head over heels out of the tree.

A gasp in the distance pierced the momentary silence. Turning, Akane noted where her kunai had met flesh and her eyes widened. "Oh shi-"

'Poof!'

As soon as it appeared, the form was gone in a pulse of a chakra and an explosion of smoke. Incredulous, Akane broke out in a fit of laughter.

"Oi..." she muttered in between laughs, "..you had me there..." she continued, still laughing uproariously before, her levity came to an abrupt end. "...you little blond bastard!" At that her voice was devoid of mirth, and filled with a promise of pain. Her back straightened, and fire shone in her eyes. Akane rested her right hand upon the hilt of her wakizashi and finished, "you're gonna pay for that," in a disquieting sing-song tone.

'Why did I have to get the crazy sensei?' Naruto thought piteously.

Bringing her left hand into a half-seal, Akane chuckled, before announcing to the hidden genin: "Katon: Housenka no Jutsu!"

'What?! A single one-handed seal?!'

Roaring spheres of fire lanced through the air, crashing into the boughs of trees and sending the dry autumn leaves ablaze. As one of the flames struck his perch, Naruto leapt into the air. Tossing a shuriken at his sensei Naruto stuffed his hands into the overly long sleeves of his haori, hiding his hands as he flashed through hand-seals. Midway though, he alighted upon the branch of a nearby tree.

'Ox--Dog--Dragon--Rat--Dog--Boar--Snake--Tiger, Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!'

Drawing her sword, Akane formed another half seal with her free hand before slicing a furrow into the ground with the tip. 'Doton: Doryuukei!' From the furrow rose a thin wall wall, wide just wide enough to cover her body and just thick enough to stop the kunai.

Naruto frowned at that. 'She's conserving chakra. And if she has jounin level reserves...'

"Enough pouting blondie, time to focus!"

Frantically leaping from the branch he was resting upon, Naruto was taken aback as he saw his sensei's wakizashi cleave through the branch with ease, before she kicked off the trunk in pursuit.

Cursing, Naruto pulled out a kunai from his holster, parrying away a slash from his sensei's sword with a wince. 'How can she be so strong?!' Two more clangs filled the air before the kunai went flying out of the genin's hand. Grinning wickedly, his sensei thrusted the wakizashi towards his right shoulder, and Naruto parried the blade away with his left hand, wincing as the blade sunk into his skin.

Finally the boy reached the ground, tumbling backwards head over heels. Akane landed on her feet, and her sword sliced twice through air, cutting into the fleshy calves of Naruto's legs as the boy tumbled.

The boy landed sprawled on his back, and his sensei paused, grinning. "Nice try Naruto-kun, but not quite enou-"

A flash of chakra danced across the shinobi's senses, accompanied with the rustling of leaves. Akane didn't even have time to react as a lance of chakra sliced into her side, tearing muscles and tendons yet, mercifully, doing little damage to organs. 'Got her.' Hyuuga Miyuki though triumphantly, a ghost of a smile crossing her lips.

Strangely, not a single flash of pain crossed her sensei's face. "Oww, oww, Miyuki-chan, that hurt. Or at least, it woulda, but it's easy to fool your eyes when they're closed..."

'Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu.'

In the span of a heartbeat, the Akane doppelganger collapsed into a pile of rocks and dirt, and another appeared, dragging the Hyuuga below the earth with a smirk.

"Hyuuga buried and a blondie hobbled..." Akane remarked evenly, watching Naruto attempt - and fail - to rise to his feet. A genuine smile flashed across her face, "...how about I grab Hiyori and make it a full set!" she finished warmly.

In a swirl of burning leaves, she was gone.

Pausing for a moment, Naruto attempted to catch his breath from his position prone on the ground. The scent of burnt foliage was thick in his nostrils as he glanced at the flame-scarred tree above him. Grunting, the whiskered shinobi rose to his feet before stumbling over to his entombed teammate with a kunai in hand.

"You know you won't be able to dig me out before she comes back with Hiyori, don't you," the 'decapitated' Hyuuga remarked dryly.

Pausing for a moment, the Hyuuga frowned. "Hold on, that reminds me, how are you standing anyway? Your calves shouldn't be able to support your weight."

"Aheh...it's not important. What is important is getting you outta there before Akane-sensei gets back!"

Sighing, Miyuki rolled her eyes. "She's a jounin. You should probably go and try to hide, she might even be on her way back with Hiyori now."

"Sorry Miyuki-chan, but you're wrong on that account!" a third voice announced, and both genin turned to see Hiyori walk into the clearing looking wholly unscathed. "Her chakra senses must suck, because she went off in the totally wrong direction!"

"Oi, Hiyori-san, give me a hand here! We need to get Miyuki-san out before sensei comes back."

Frowning, Hiyori shook her head. "There isn't enough time to dig her out. If we can ambush her now, while she thinks we're separated, we can take her!"

Jumping to his feet, Naruto gestured dramatically at the smoldering embers that littered the ground. "She took me and Miyuki out with a bunshin, you and I don't have a chance against her alone, we have to work together!"

At that, Hiyori winced, but wiped the expression from her face in the blink of an eye. Shaking her head, the brown-haired girl frowned. "Well, if you want to dig her out, shrimp, go ahead. I'm gonna go find her while I have advantage of surprise. Not like you'd be of much use, probably can't even manage Kawarimi."

"Screw you, Baba-" Naruto stopped suddenly, as though he made a great realization. "That's it, Kawarimi! You're a genius!"

'Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!' With a puff of smoke, a blond doppelganger appeared. Nodding at the original, the clone sealed for the technique. 'Kawarimi no Jutsu!'

With a puff of smoke, the doppelganger and the imprisoned Hyuuga switched placed, and a scowl covered Hiyori's features. "Gah, little punk!"

The image wavered, and the appearance of their sensei appeared where Hiyori's were a moment before. Naruto's eyes barely tracked the wakizashi as - sheath and all - it scythed through the air toward his head.

Then, blackness.

Mitokado Hiyori rushed rushed through the trees, the sleeves of green keikogi flowing in the wind behind her as she sprinted towards the chakra pulse she'd noticed mere moments ago. 'Crap, that was a lot of chakra channeled in a short period of time. But who's technique was it?'

When the test began, Hiyori split up from her team-mates to prepare for the coming battle. She hadn't expected sensei to begin the test so suddenly, and there wasn't a chance that she'd be able to set-up in mid-battle against a jounin. A brown leather strap crossed over her shoulder as a scroll - long as her torso and thick as her hand - knocked against her back as she leaped from branch to branch. Finally, coming up to the clearing she alighted on a branch, just as her eyes fell upon the forms of her classmate and sensei locked in a dance of blades and chakra on the ground below.

She suppressed a wince at the sight of Uzumaki Naruto unconscious on the ground. A vicious looking bruise was purpling near his left eye, but she hadn't the faintest idea what could have caused it. 'Tch, figures the brat would've been the first one down. What could a kid like him possibly contribute to this fight?'

She was taken aback as she saw Akane-sensei in combat with Miyuki-chan. The former's blade strikes were terrifying, scything through the air to a pulse on their own. Cut-Spin-Slice-Stab, her wakizashi moved as though weightless as she went through moves as though they were a kata. It segmented and wholly extraordinary, to see her style. The moves didn't flow so much as the fell into each other, and as the fight continued the span between each strike grew shorter and shorter. It was obvious from her lofty perch that Akane was showing restraint. The difference is skill was so vast that the blink of an eye was opening that could have brought Miyuki's demise. Numerous strikes were pulled before they met skin, and the raven-haired jounin only gained momentum as the fight continued.

Miyuki, one the other hand, appeared to be dancing. Her hands were coated in chakra as she parried away sensei's strikes with the undeniable grace of Jyuuken, however she was constantly on the defensive. As she watched the battle, seeking to find an open, Hiyori had to admit that their sensei posed a terrifying specter. Her yukata, black as night flowed as she moved from strike to strike. The flames embroidered into the fabric seemed to ripple as she moved, as though hungry pyres seeking to consume and destroy her foe.

It was a forgone conclusion. Soon, the Hyuuga would tire and then-

A slice from Akane-sensei was met with a parry from a chakra encased hand. However, the jounin spun, breaking the pattern by striking out at her students thigh with sweeping kick. A stumble and flash of metal, and a blood red line appeared up inside of Miyuki's forearm. Cursing, Hiyori snapped herself out of her daze and unrolled her scroll. Reaching into her sleeves, she pulled out a brace of kunai with her left hand before using the blades to prick each finger on her right.

"Miyuki! Back!" Hiyori yelled, and let the kunai fly.

Akane stopped her charge and lept backwards to avoid the projectiles, whilst Miyuki acquiesced and moved to put more distance between herself and her sensei.

'Perfect...'

"Yo, sensei! Miss me?"

The genin wiped a bloody finger across a row of identical seals inscribed on the scroll, and a torrent of water spilled forth.

The first thing he felt was the pounding ache, pulsing in his head and in spite of his training, he let out a groan.

"Oh lookie there! Little Naru-chan's awake!"

Naruto shuddered at that voice, the sing-song tone certain to become the stuff of nightmares before the day's end. He attempted to stand before he released he was already vertical. He attempted to move, before he realized he was securely tied to a tree.

Glancing over at his teammates, he saw that they were in a similar position, both tied up in a row and facing their antagonist. Miyuki had bandages wrapped around her arm and a looked a bit on the pale side, whereas Hiyori looked as though she'd nearly been drowned. His brown-haired teammate had a large scroll placed as her feet, saturated with chakra residue and smelling strongly of blood. Shaking his head, Naruto brought his focus to present.

"Oi!" the whiskered boy shouted, "untie me you crazy bi-"

Akane's hand shot forward, grabbing his chin and forcibly closing his mouth. "Uh-uh-uh, what horrible language young man. What would your mother say?"

Naruto responded with a look of pure loathing.

"Oh, oops! Totally slipped my mind! Sorry about that, Naruto-chan!"

'What is it with jounin referring to me like I'm some toddler?!'

"Now, where was I? Ah yes. Well, the alarm went off a few minutes ago, not that any of you would notice, because you were all...aheh...sleeping. So, you all failed the test! Congratulations!"

At that their eccentric sensei gave them another one-woman round of applause, which was met with nothing but disappointed faces and glares, even from the usually stoic Hyuuga Miyuki.

"If you're just going to send us back the academy," Hiyori mumbled, her words filled with annoyance, "why'd you bother to tie this up. What, is tying up minors some sort of hobby for you?!"

"Mm...maybe. Why'dya ask?" Akane replied soberly.

Needless the say, the genin where struck speechless, not to say that it wasn't easy to tell they were extremely disturbed.

"Anyway, recreation aside, you're all here so I can go over the miserable excuse of a fight you three orchestrated. Starting with...you, blondie."

Naruto scowled at the nickname, but neglected to reply. "Your genjutsu was alright, along with your use of ninjutsu, but you just lacked staying power. I mean, falling asleep in the middle of the fight? Disgraceful."

"I didn't fall asleep, you psycho, you clubbed me over the head with the sheath of your sword!"

"Oh..." the jounin replied, a frown on her face. "Was that how it happened? Ah well. Anyway, onto cataract girl!"

Miyuki refrained from giving any reply, another than a spiteful glare with a lavender eyes.

"That Jyuuken was sooo mean! I felt it through my clone! Or...at least...I would have, if that was possible..." coughing the woman continued. "Anyway, very underhanded tactic there, using your poor little Naru-chan as a distraction."

"We're shinobi," Miyuki intoned evenly, "we're supposed to be underhanded. You didn't give us time to plan a strategy, so I made to with what was given to me."

"Aww, so cold Miyuki-chan. Speaking of cold, Fuuin-chan!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" the brown-haired girl replied testily.

"You know very well what it means!" the jounin-sensei replied with equal venom. "Couldn't you have used warm water?!"

The only reply the jounin received was a long-suffering sigh.

"Anyway, your teamwork was fine for little tykes like yourselves, but not good enough to be chuunin. Sorry! You lose!"

"Chuunin?" Naruto queried. "We're genin. Or at least, trying to be genin, what are you talking about chuunin for?!"

"Oh...genin huh? Eh, whatever, chuunin, genin, all little tykes. Either way, you failed the test!" their raven-haired sensei exclaimed, her hand waving dismissively at the 'little tykes'. "Do you guys know what the punishment is?"

The black-haired woman smiled wickedly at the looks of disappointment that flashed across the children's faces. "Your punishment is: being genin team number four under your charismatic jounin-sensei, Namiashi Akane!"

Naruto replayed the jounin's words in his head, and couldn't help the flash of pure joy that crossed his features. 'We aren't going back the academy!' The thought was derailed, however, at his next realization. 'Oh Kami, we're stuck with this psycho!' "...can we please go back? I mean, waiting another year can't be too bad."

"Nope! Sorry Naru-chan, you're stuck with me!" Akane smiled in a fashion that could only be described as chipper, before her features darkened. "I expect you kids to learn from this, though. Your teamwork was fine for a bunch of academy students, but leaving your comrade high and dry against a superior opponent," at this she shot a subtle glance towards Miyuki, "will not be tolerated. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sensei. It will not happen again."

"Good," the jounin replied, nodding slightly. "Your decision to free your teammate instead of charging after me was wise, Naruto-kun," Akane stated simply, "but you need to develop a tighter leash on your chakra. A good illusion is worthless if you radiate chakra like a beacon."

Turning at last towards Hiyori, the genin's sensei smirked. "You, like Miyuki, allowed your teammates to play the part of distractions whilst you prepared. It's a fine tactic, if you don't give a damn about whether or not they live or die. In the scope of this test, it's not too troublesome." At this, Akane's features softened, and she let loose a tiny grin. "But you need to be able to be able to rely on each other. You seem like good kids, and I'm sure in a life or death situation, you would have chosen differently, you and Miyuki. If any of you prove me wrong in this regard, I'll have your hitai-ite stripped from you and will hound Hokage-sama himself until you're brought to trial for treason. That goes for you as well, Naruto-kun. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Akane-sensei!" the genin replied in unison.

"Excellent!" Once again, the woman was back to her normal 'carefree' self with a speed that was honestly rather disarming. "Anyway, I'm gonna go grab some lunch, see you all tomorrow, same time, same place!"

"Yo, hold up," Hiyori yelled at the retreating back of their sensei. "Untie us first!"

A hand-seal and a burst of chakra was the response before their sensei disappeared in a whirlwind of burning leaves.

"...well...crap."

Japanese Term List/Jutsu List

Kawarimi no Jutsu: Replacement technique, now with 100% less log!

Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu: The jutsu Kakashi uses to metabolize Sasuke in canon. The translations vary from Headhunter Technique, to Double Suicide Technique, to Groundhog Decapitation, so...

Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu: Replicates shuriken (I'm making it extend to kunai and other thrown weapons, though) turning it from a single incoming weapon to a barrage.

Katon: Housenka no Jutsu: Fire Release: Phoenix Flower Technique. Spits a barrage of fireballs.

Doton: Doryuukei: Earth Release: Earth-style Wall. Makes a wall out of stone. Pretty straightforward

Character Profiles

Name: Namiashi Akane
Rank: Jounin
Affiliation: Konohagakure no sato
Relatives: Naimiashi Raidou (Brother) [You should recognize this guy from Asuma's squad].
Specialization: Kenjutsu/Ninjutsu
Notes: Blends ninjutsu into her kenjutsu attacks by wieldering her wakizashi in one hand and mastering one-handed seals for her other hand. Decently sized jutsu repetoire, but mostly only C-rank and below have been used enough to progress to one-handed seals.

Name: Mitokado Hiyori
Rank: Genin
Affiliation: Konohagakure no sato
Relatives: Mitokado Homura (Grandfather)
Specialization: Fuuinjutsu/Taijutsu
Notes: Incorporates seals into fighting style, but is a novice in the actual creation (that is to say, creating new versions) of sealing arrays.

Name: Hyuuga Miyuki
Rank: Genin
Affiliation: Konohagakure no sato
Relatives: Entire Hyuuga Clan
Specialization: Jyuuken Taijutsu
Notes: Branch member with a respectable knowledge of Jyuuken style.

Name: Uzumaki Naruto
Rank: Genin
Affiliation: Konohagakure no sato
Relatives: Hatake Kakashi (Legal Guardian)
Specialization: Genjutsu/Ninjutsu
Notes: For an academy student, he is proficient in taijutsu, but even specialists his age have him outclassed in that regard. This is primarily due to the fact he is not only their junior, but also rather small even for his age.

A/N: As a thanks for all the great critique, I decided to write this chapter a little earlier than is my custom. I might try to see if I can keep up the pace enough to make bi-weekly (twice/week) updates plausible, but no promises. This is the first real action scene of this length I've written period, so I hope it was interesting! It's difficult to translate from what I visualize in my head to text, but I think it worked decently well. The scenes should improve as I get more familiar with the style. Note on speaking out jutsu names. Jounin will almost never do it, and genin will usually avoid it unless they're higher ranked. I see jutsu progression as this:

Starting out with a jutsu, a ninja will be able to perform the intended action with A: Speaking the name of the jutsu and B: Performing the requisite handseals.

Mastering the jutsu make can make this unnecessary. For a bit of a more in depth description, check my profile, don't want the Author's Note to be too long.

I was having trouble finding the correct charaterization for Akane, and since all shinobi above chuunin rank seem to have some disturbing personality quirk, I decided to maintain the theme here. I realized partway through that I was giving Akane multiple Anko-like qualities, but I hope I made Akane a unique enough character that they don't appear to be clones.