AN: So I already have thoughts in my head of sequels. Which is awesome... except for the fact that I still have to finish this one first.

*

Sleep proved to be more elusive than she had expected. When Olivia first entered her apartment she figured she'd be out the moment her head hit the pillow. But when she did collapse on the bed, water still beaded on her skin, Olivia found herself restless.

Her eyes sagged shut, but blissful unconsciousness didn't last long. Images of that night continued to run through her head. She had nightmares, nothing she'd label with such a tame word as 'dream'. In each one it all went wrong in a different way. In one Holden was merely less sloppy, his cut clean and precise. Sara had been dead before she even hit the ground. Another had Olivia finding herself with a clear shot, but her hand was shaking so badly that she hit Sara instead.

Though it was close to noon when she gave up on sleep, she felt no more refreshed for her efforts.

She made herself a sandwich. If she couldn't get any sleep then maybe some food would help her feel more human. Olivia barely touched it, spending most of her time staring blankly at the wall as she stood at the counter. At least there was nothing left, the tears and nightmares had wrung her until she only felt numb. Her only company was the ticking of the wall clock and the errant sounds of the city.

Shaking out of her stupor, Olivia knew she needed to find something to do with her day. If she just sat around her apartment, she knew the brooding would just get worse. Work was out of the question, though the thorough ass-chewing the Captain would give her would easily kill some time. And it would be entertaining, because every now and then she needed to argue with somebody.

Another reason she and Elliot were such good partners, they both could give as good as they got.

She thought better of that idea, though. Picking a fight with Cragen for the sheer sake of it was dangerous ground. He was far more lenient than he needed to be with them. In return, she tried not to piss him off when she didn't have to.

She'd go to the hospital. They might not let her see Sara, but that didn't preclude her from asking about the girl. And they'd probably let her in to see A.J. That would help assuage some of the guilt she had for not giving him a second thought. If Elliot hadn't said anything, Olivia probably wouldn't have remembered to ask.

Olivia frowned when she saw that she was lucky if she had eaten a quarter of the sandwich. She wrapped it up and tossed it in the fridge, feeling a different guilt because it would likely be growing mold before she'd even remember it was there.

She left with an old leather jacket she pulled out of her closet. The seams were fraying, but she hadn't been able to make herself throw it out, even though she hadn't worn it again until that day. Now she had a small swell of pride that she could rub it in people's noses that it wasn't a waste of space after all.

The same nurse was at the station. She recognized Olivia even without the blood and grime, and she stiffened as though preparing to go into a lengthy explanation of 'doctor's orders'. She was obviously very used to people trying to wheedle their way in.

Olivia raised her arms in surrender, preventing the words from being uttered. "I know, I know." She gave a placating smile. "I only want to ask how she's doing."

"Ms. Holden's condition is still stable," she read from the computer screen. "No changes."

"Thank you. Is the boy that came in with her able to take visitors?"

The nurse nodded. "Mr. Price is in room two-twelve. He's probably still disoriented from the sedatives if he's awake."

"I'll keep it short," Olivia promised.

Olivia walked to the elevators, making her way to the second floor. She walked into the room, not giving herself a chance to think about it. A.J. had been sucked into the very heart of a situation no one should have to face. His whole world was shattered in the course of a few short hours.

A.J. wasn't asleep when she entered, his head turning slowly. The nurse hadn't been kidding. Olivia could tell from his lidded stare that he was doped to the gills.

Olivia smiled, her voice soft. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

"Woozy," A.J. replied.

"I hear you were pretty lucky."

One shoulder raised in a half shrug. "I guess."

The anguish in his voice was painful to hear. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. His eyes shone with unshed tears.

"I heard them go by with Sara. It sounded bad. Is she..." A.J. paused, unable to say the word.

She shook her head immediately. "She's alive, A.J. They got her in time. She's doing ok."

His voice cracked. "I thought he was going to kill her."

"He didn't," Olivia assured him. "She was too tough. You both were."

She blinked away her own tears, surprised that there were any left to shed. Hadn't she done enough of that already today? Apparently not, but she could hold it. Olivia didn't want to upset him any further, and had hoped the conversation wouldn't get this far in the first place. A stupid thing to hope for, as well meaning as the sentiment was.

A.J. turned his head away, embarrassed. Knowing it was hard enough for him, Olivia didn't draw attention to the act. She didn't say anything at all. She just stood there.

"I'm kinda tired," A.J. said. While she was sure he was tired, Olivia figured he also didn't feel like talking anymore. He turned back towards her, a little calmer.

Which didn't necessarily mean he wanted to be alone. "Do you want me to go?"

"Could you just... hang out for a little while?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

She let go of his hand just long enough to slide the chair beside his bed.