A/N: For starters, I am SOOOOOO SO sorry that I disappeared for so long. I got an ovarian cyst that ended up hemorrhaging and I had to have emergency surgery and they took a liter of blood out of my abdomen and it threw EVERYTHING off and I basically fell off the writing train. Of course, that was back in October. So it's really not an excuse to not have gotten back on the train before now. But that's why.
Next, this chapter is un-betaed. I wanted to update because it's been so long, so I've left it as is. Maybe I'll go back and have my beta check it later. (I did.)
Also, winner of the "What will Holly do?" challenge will be announced later. I still have to figure that out…
Just a note: I will be using some Irish terms relating to the government. Definitions of the terms will be at the bottom of each chapter. (I added this to chapters 1 and 3, as well.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, I just have my little broken dolls that I play with.
(Bonus points go to anyone who can tell me where inspiration for the chapter titles comes from.)
Chapter Four: In Which the Bride- and Groom-to-Be Finally Meet and A Great Amount of Irish Terminology is Used
"I still don't see why I couldn't drive," Holly grumbled as she hopped out of the shuttle onto the soft grass.
From behind her came a tired and extremely annoyed sigh.
"Because you would have taken us to the other side of the world, Short," Root said as he followed her out. "And we both know it. No matter what you say."
And that would be a problem why exactly? Holly thought petulantly. She had enough sense to keep the comment to herself though.
Between her commanding officer's words about "doing what's best for The People" and the pressure from her family's matriarch — whom she had no way of going against without suffering severe consequences — there had been very little Holly could do to change her fate.
When Holly looked up, she saw Helana standing before her. She instantly soured further.
Think of the devil and she shall appear. The bitter thought flashed through Holly's head.
"Helana." Holly's voice was stony.
The councilperson looked the elf up and down, scowling as she did so.
Holly scowled back, already aware of why the councilperson was upset. Holly was wearing a standard LEP uniform. A buzz baton hung from her hip in place of her usual neutrino — Root had confiscated it prior to takeoff.
"You couldn't have worn something more appropriate?" Helana asked sharply.
"This is appropriate," Holly responded. She began to walk toward the building, speaking over her shoulder as she did so. "We've been over this. I'm a LEP officer and that's who I'm here to represent."
"You are here to represent The People," Helana shot back, turning to follow her great-niece.
"She's still a LEP officer, Councilperson," Root pointed out as he approached the two women. "I think what she meant was she's representing The People through the LEP."
Helana glared at him. "That is beside the point, Commander."
"It's exactly the point," Holly cut in irritably. "Now, are we doing this shit or not? I mean, if we're not, great. Then let's go."
Helana's gaze shot to Holly and she narrowed her eyes. "You'd best lose that tone, and fast," she said sternly.
Unbeknownst to her great-aunt, Holly rolled her eyes. "Whatever." Being forced into marriage had not put her in the mood to get along with anyone, least of all the people whose idea it had been.
"I mean it Holly. I expect you to be courteous to the humans. Especially to—"
"Alright, alright already!" Holly burst out. "I get it! Play nice with the Mud Men."
"Exceptionally nice," Helana stressed.
"As long as Fowl's not there, we'll be fine," Holly muttered.
Behind her, the two fairies exchanged worried looks that she completely missed.
Holly hadn't exactly keep her feelings regarding the Fowl family — Artemis Fowl II especially — to herself. The Wing Commander quite often had vocalized her dislike of the human she had had the chance to observe during negotiation sessions she'd attended.
It was his attitude she seemed to loathe the most. The way he would play mind games with the fairies he was supposed to be creating peace with and the fact that he spoke to other humans as if every one of them was beneath him irked her like very little else ever had.
Silently, the trio made their way inside the massive — even by human standards — building.
It was several minutes before they arrived at the Kells Bar. It was a beautiful room filled with earthy tones of browns, creams and dark reds.
When Holly saw who was there, she turned around and tried to walk out. When they finally told her who the groom was, she nearly killed them.
"Which is exactly why we didn't tell you before," Root explained.
Holly just glared bloody murder at him. Helana, she refused even to acknowledge.
So long as she behaved and was civil with the humans, especially her soon-to-be husband, then talking wasn't necessary, Helana said. In fact, it probably would be better if she just stayed quiet.
By that point, Holly simply was too furious to speak. Somehow, she managed to disguise the majority of her rage as she practically was dragged across the room to meet the human politicians and, to her loathing, Artemis Fowl II.
Galvan O'Neill was the first to look up as the fairies approached. An overly heavyset man, he didn't bother to try and stand.
"Ah, Commander Root. How wonderful to see you again," he said pleasantly. "I hope your trip was alright."
Root nodded at the balding man. "It was, thank you."
O'Neill smiled at Holly. "And this must be the bride. I'm Galvan O'Neill, the taoiseach. I am beyond thrilled to meet you Miss. Short."
Holly opened her mouth to protest the title, but Root beat her to it.
"Wing Commander."
Holly's gaze shot toward her commander.
The human blinked. "Pardon?"
"Wing Commander," Root repeated. "Not 'Miss.' Wing Commander Short is a high-ranking LEP officer."
He pinned them all with a hard stare. "She earned her position at a very young age, not because other officers with far more years on the force weren't qualified, but because she's just that good." Root continued to address them all, but looked directly at Artemis for his next sentence. "You'd do well to remember that."
The "or else" was left unspoken, yet it rang in the air as clearly as if it had been.
There was an uncomfortable silence which finally was broken by Helana clapping her hands and saying, "Well, let's continue, shall we? You know what they say: So much to do, so little time."
Most of the introductions were swift after that.
In Holly's opinion, the female politician by far was the most pleasant of the bunch. At 5'2" she was still over two feet taller than Holly, but she had a similar build.
"My name is Dominique Ireabet," she said. "I'm the cathaoirleach of the Seanad Éireann."
A male, the tallest of the bunch with kind, green eyes, was the next to step forward. "Iain Coltford, ceann comhairle of the Dáil Éireann. It's a pleasure to meet you both."
Holly and Root nodded in greeting, albeit reluctantly on Holly's part.
Councilpersons Iverson and Larkspur, Holly already had met.
Holly wasn't overly pleased about any of the introductions, but it was Dasha and Cloud, the wedding planners, who really got to her.
Dasha was a small, round woman with green eyes and dark blonde hair that was twisted into what had to be a painfully tight bun at the back of her head.
Cloud was a typical pixie — pale skin, light lavender eyes and short, purple-black hair.
The two had come rushing in as soon as they heard the bride had arrived and once they saw her, they would not stop talking.
"Oh my goodness, it's so nice to meet you!"
"The pleasure is all ours! I can't believe we haven't seen you before!"
"Oh Dash, look how gorgeous she is! She's going to light up the room, you can just tell!"
"I know! Oh, look at her eyes! We're going to have to completely revamp the makeup palate so it looks even better!"
Root watched wearily as Holly's eyes grew more and more panicked. When he could tell his officer wouldn't be able to keep herself from punching someone for much longer, he stepped in.
"Heh-hem!" Everyone looked at Root except Holly, who stood rigid, frozen to the spot as she tried to reorient herself.
"I think it's time the bride and groom met," he said softly, all too aware of how much Holly wanted to avoid that particular introduction, but knowing it couldn't be put off any longer.
Holly nearly gave herself whiplash turning her head to look at Root.
To Holly's right, Helana nodded. "Quite true."
The councilperson quickly reached out and grabbed Holly's arm. Before the elf could register and protest what was happening, Helana pulled her a few steps forward.
"Mr. Fowl," Helana said, respectfully nodding her head toward the human who had, until this point, remained silent. "This is Wing Commander Holly Short."
Definitions:
Áras an Uachtaráin: official residence of the President of Ireland
- located in the Phoenix Park on the north side of Dublin.
Taoiseach: Prime Minister of Ireland
Oireachtas: legislature of Ireland
- consists of the President, Dáil Éireann and Seanad Éireann
Dáil Éireann: Assembly of Ireland
Ceann Comhairle: chairperson of the Dáil Éireann
Seanad Éireann: Senate of Ireland
Cathaoirleach: chairperson of the Seanad Éireann
Presidential Commission: collective vice-presidency of Ireland
- 3 members: Chief Justice (President of the Supreme Court), Ceann Comhairle and Cathaoirleach
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