A/N: I…have no excuse this time. My only excuse isn't really an excuse and that's that I've been busy. Which I have been. On and off. –looks sheepish- Sorry about that.

Anyway! Winner of the "What will Holly do?" challenge is…I don't know. I haven't looked. I'll get back to you on that. Some of you apparently didn't pay attention to the fact that this is an AU/alternate timeline story. So yeah. Remember that from now on.

OH! I went and double-beta'd previous chapters. I don't think anything changed, but just as an FYI.

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl, I just have my little broken dolls that I play with.

(Bonus points go to anyone who can tell me where inspiration for the chapter titles comes from. I've had a lot of guesses, but none correct yet.)

Chapter Five: In Which the Bride- and Groom-to-Be Actually Speak to Each Other and More Not NOT Specified About Holly is Revealed

Holly looked up for what seemed to be forever until she met Artemis' eyes. In reality, he was only 5'10" to her 3'.

She barely managed to prevent herself from taking a step back when his piercing gaze hit her.

He was wearing a dark grey, pinstripe suit with a white shirt and mahogany tie. His hands were folded behind his back and his expression was serious.

"Holly," Artemis said softly, almost as if she were a frightened animal he didn't want to spook. "Pleased to finally make your acquaintance."

She just stared at him, her face blank and still pale from Dasha and Cloud's overwhelming greetings. Her hazel eyes were wide and slightly glazed over.

Artemis quirked an eyebrow and his lips twitched into something resembling an amused half-smile. "Cat got your tongue, darling?"

Holly snapped out of her daze and glared at him. "I am n—" The elf hissed as sharp nails dug into her arm.

Glaring daggers at Helana, the owner of said nails, Holly spoke to Artemis through gritted teeth. "I am pleased to meet you too."

Artemis did smirk then. "Ah, see? That wasn't too hard. I was beginning to wonder if you ever spoke, considering you always kept quiet during negotiations."

Internally, Artemis shivered. It was the first time he'd ever heard her voice and, even angry, it was music to his ears. Her accent sounded like it could have come from anywhere or nowhere at the same time. If he had to choose though, he would say it was closer to a British accent than anything else.

Outwardly, he cleared his expression and nodded, easily ignoring Holly's death-glare. "Well then, we'd best get a move on. Dasha. Cloud. You're up."

Everyone but Holly — who continued trying to brutally murder him with her eyes — gave Artemis strange looks, confused as to why he so suddenly moved to the next item on the agenda.

He ignored the looks, knowing full-well that the faster they got through this, the less likely it was his future wife would kill someone. That someone most likely being him.

To the side, the two planners looked up from their preparations and blinked several times before Artemis' words registered.

"Oh, of course!" Cloud said eagerly.

"Right this way." Dasha smiled and gestured to a large rectangular table in the middle of the room that had papers scattered across it.

It was too dark to go to the actual ceremony site, so instead, the group crowded around the table and listened as the wedding planners walked them through the next day.

Somehow Holly ended up seated next to Artemis, the two of them directly across from Dasha and Cloud. It did not help improve her mood.

They started by going over the day-of preparations such as hair, make-up and the time that would take. The realization that she was going to be forced to allow people to "doll-her-up," horrified Holly, but she managed to bite her tongue and keep her mouth shut.

What really caught Holly's attention was the absence of the bridal party.

"Where are my bridesmaids?" she asked when they were brought up. "Why aren't they here? Don't they need to be for rehearsal?"

Cloud blinked and looked at the councilpersons.

"Does she know anything?" he questioned. When no one answered, he looked at Holly and said gently, "We did the rehearsal with the bridal party three days ago."

Holly blinked in surprise before sagging slightly, too mentally drained to seethe at the deception or even hid her physical disappointment.

She had insisted on having bridesmaids as soon as she'd found out what they were, wanting and needing the support having her friends with her would provide.

"Oh," she said quietly. Having them there would have made her feel better — made the whole thing slightly more bearable. "They never said anything."

"They weren't allowed to, Short," Root said gruffly. "Security. You understand."

Holly nodded glumly. She did understand, even if she didn't like it.

Watching her reaction out of the corner of his eye, Artemis was suddenly exceedingly glad that he had left her friends on the guest list.

The vows were the next thing they covered. They were fairly generic, especially the human ones due to the fact that a non-religious ceremony had been decided upon.

However, the exact wording was scrutinized in order to make sure that both parties were represented as equals.

When they began to run through the sequence of events during the actual wedding ceremonies, Holly tried her best to pay attention to everything Dasha and Cloud were saying and still remain calm — she really did.

And, up until what was to happen at the end of the human ceremony, she managed to. But when the words, "and then you two will kiss," registered in her brain, she lost it.

"What?!" she burst out, slamming her hands down on the table. "No! That is not happening!"

People jumped and stared at her with wide eyes. Most were completely taken aback by her outburst, but two — Root and Artemis — had expected it, and simply rolled their eyes.

"Yes darling," Artemis said, a hint of annoyance creeping into his tone. "A kiss. It is traditional for the bride and groom to show their affection for each other—"

"Affection!" Holly screeched, whipping around to face him. "Affection my ass! I'll—"

She stopped suddenly and swayed slightly as her eyes began to glow a bright green that was hard to miss.

Bracing her right hand on the table, she rapidly blinked several times before squeezing her eyes shut and shaking her head as if trying to clear it. When she opened her eyes again, they were a shade of green similar to healthy grass.

She looked around the table, calmly taking in the wide-eyed, confused expressions.

"Well. Now that that bit of unpleasantness is over…" she said in a much higher, more feminine voice, trailing off as she realized most of the people surrounding her had no idea what had just happened.

All the fairies besides Cloud seemed to have figured it out and were looking appropriately uncomfortable, but the only human who seemed to have any inkling was Artemis. Which was as expected as it was strange, because he really shouldn't have known anything about the Children of the Gods in the first place.

But he was Artemis Fowl II and that meant he knew a great deal of information about a great many things that he shouldn't have. It also meant that he was extremely adept at hiding any surprise he might be feeling.

The female chuckled at their expressions and settled back down in her chair. "I should probably introduce myself. My name is Cerise. I'm Holly's Inner."

…Well the chapter title DID say more not not specified info was going to be revealed!

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