I stop talking.

"Roxy?" she says as I sit there on my bed staring at some random spot on the ceiling. "Roxy, are you still there?"

"I can't believe you. I'm here, almost killing myself because I thought you broke up with me, and you're just having fun." My voice breaks as I speak.

"It wasn't planned it just-"

"Happened?" I finish her sentence.

"Yeah…"

"Whatever. No one ever plans anything anymore." I wait for her to say something; she doesn't. I continue, "I-I-I don't even know what to do. I was honestly planning on running to you." I breathe heavily, "I don't think you understand how angry I am right now but it's being leveled out by this feeling of hurt. I honestly thought that you loved me."

"I do love you." She says loudly.

I say still crying, "No, no you don't. If you did then you wouldn't be kissing someone else."

"I'm sorry." She whispers.

"And you gave me such a hard time about not telling anyone. You questioned your love me," I sniff, "I'm so glad I'm not looking at you right now because I would sure as hell punch you right in the face."

She sighs, "I didn't mean to kiss her, okay?"

"No, it's not okay. At all."

"I know but-what you said hurt they other day and Miranda was there and she-"

I laugh, "Miranda? That girl that called me? This is pretty funny, Lily, this is hilarious."

"She called you?"

I scoff, "None of that matters, right now. Break up with me."

"No." her voice breaks.

"I'm not staying with you, either you do it, or I do it."

"I love-"

"Miranda? I'm sure." I inhale, "Leave me alone. Don't talk to me. Don't call me. Don't I.M me. I don't wanna fucking talk to you, right now. "

"Don't." she says.

I chuckle, "Don't? Yeah, I wish that word was ringing through your head when you were so hurt. Well, here's a word that can ring through your head while you're with Miranda: bye." I hang up the phone. I just got this phone yesterday so I'm not gonna break it.

I simply toss it on the opposite of the bed and lay back down. Yeah, I just broke up with her but I don't feel good at all. This is bullshit. I'm not the best person in the world but do I really deserve this? I sigh and sink back into my bed. I start to cry myself to sleep but quietly.

Someone's sitting on my bed beside me when I finally wake up; Kyla. She's watching T.V and playing with my new cell phone. I roll over to look at her, "What are you doing here?"

She smiles at me, "I'm here to help you out of this rut you're in."

I turn back over, "I'm not in a rut."

Kyla laughs and scoffs, "Yeah, okay. You've looked like crap all week."

I roll my eyes, "Don't you have-"

She cuts me off as I feel her head on my shoulder, "To take care of you? Yes. You're not gonna push me away like you did with Spencer and everyone else this week. I'm gonna stick by you even when you're the biggest ass in the world."

I turn over to look at her and she obviously doesn't know the meaning of personal space. I think about breaking her down but she's looking at me like… I don't know. Like, I could never hurt her so why bother? I sigh and start spilling my guts to her, "She cheated on me after giving me such a hard time about everything."

Kyla starts to rub my head, "You can do better."

I sit up on my right elbow and stare at her, "The thing is, she was the 'better' when I was going out with my ex before her. Maybe it was my fault she cheated on me, I mean, she did go over to Miranda's because I-"

Kyla shakes her head, "No, no. Don't blame yourself."

I sigh and lay my head on Kyla's thigh, "I just feel so weird not being with her."

She starts rubbing my hair, "I can't possibly know how you feel."

And that's all I need to hear.

For the rest of the night Kyla stays with me, I tell her more about me and Lily and we just watch T.V and listen to music. I don't have to impress Kyla, I don't think I deserve to have such a wonderful friend.

Morning comes around and Kyla's waking me up, "Time to wake up little one."

I see Kyla's face smiling at me and, man, I had an idea that she wakes up looking perfect and I was right. I stretch and yawn in my bed, "School's so overrated."

"And so is life but hey look at what we're doing now! Living it!" she says excitedly looking through my closet.

I sit up and stare at her then laugh, "You are so retarded. What are you doing?"

She looks at me and smiles, "Well, I'm gonna borrow some clothes considering I came over in my pajamas last night and I don't think I'm wearing those to school."

I gasp and stand up, "Kyla."

She stops smiling and looks at me wit ha serious face, "What? Something wrong?"

I walk slowly to her and a smile creeps across my face, "We should go to the beach." That has got to be my best plan.

She smiles again, "After school?"

I shake my head, "No, we should skip school and go to the beach."

Kyla laughs, thinking I'm not serious, "Now you sound like Ashley."

"Well, if Ashley thinks the same way I do then she's lucky because I'm hella clever." I say smiling.

"You're kidding. You really wanna go to the beach?"

I nod my head, "Yeah! We have nothing to do in school anyway. I know you don't you never have any work because you're and overachiever." I smirk.

She pushes me lightly, "Shut up, I am not."

"Please, please, please. This'll help me get my mind off of you-know-what." I smile, making her feel guilty.

She sighs, "Fine."

"Yes!" I push her out of the way of my closet, "Let me find my bathing suit."

Kyla snaps her finger, "You wanna take me to my house to pick up this cute bathing suit I bought?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I pull out a black bathing suit with pink skulls all over it, "I have some board shorts to match this." I toss the bathing suit on my bed then grab the board shorts out of my drawer. I toss them on the bed with the bathing suit and stare at it, "Beautiful." I smile.

She shakes her head and laughs, "So are you ready to take me to my house?"

"Calm yourself." I say, "We have all day."

"Wait, don't you start working today, at Pac Sun?" Kyla asks.

I forgot about that, "Yeah but I can take sick day. Technically, I am sick." I smile.

She shakes her head, "No, you're going on your first day."

I roll my eyes, "Yes, mom." I joke and she smiles.

I grab all the stuff I need then sneak out of my house with my swimming stuff. Not that I needed to sneak out but I'm sure Rachel, Hunter and Jeremy would've made a big deal.

Kyla and I drive to her place. She opens the door and we walk in, "Hello in there!" I say yelling, I love hearing my echo.

Kyla closes the door behind me and laughs, "You're such a tard."

I smile and we walk up the stairs, "You should get your own place soon. Don't you have millions of dollars?"

"Yeah, but I don't wanna spend it all on a house, I want something small." Kyla says.

I roll my eyes, "Blah, blah, blah, you're just scared."

She shakes her head as we enter her room, "Well, what would you do with your money?"

I linger in the doorway, "I would put some in the money and then I would buy a house and car."

Kyla laughs as she grabs underwear from one of her drawers, "I'm gonna take a shower. It'll take me a little while."

"We have enough time, take it slow." I smile. She shakes her head then walks into her bathroom. I hear talking coming from behind me. I walk toward the voices and I think they're coming from Ashley's room. I see Spencer and Ashley talking to each other, "Spencer, please. You just spent the night with me."

Spencer shakes her head, "That doesn't mean anything. We're just friends."

I smirk, "Oh-la-la." I say startling Spencer and Ashley.

Ashley stands up quickly and I can see that all she's wearing is a white tank and black panties, "What are you doing here?" Ashley says shooting me a death glare, oh, how I missed those.

I lean in the doorway, "Me and Kyla are going to the beach."

"Don't you have to go to school?" Spencer asks looking sadly at me. This is the first time I've talked to her since we talked that one morning in the car.

"Obviously I don't have to go to school if I'm going to the beach. I'm 18, I can do anything I want."

"Not anything." Ashley says jumping into a pair of pants.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"Don't." Spencer says to Ashley.

"I'm talking about treating people the way you do."

I smile, "Me, treating people the way I do? Ashley, you can't talk to me about treating people in any way."

"I can when it comes to Spencer." Ashley says walking closer to me.

I sigh, "When it comes to Spencer? And you think you know everything about her?" I question.

Ashley narrows her eyes at me, "More than you do. You don't even take the time to talk to her anymore."

I throw my hands up, "I can't talk to her now because I have stuff of my own to deal with and Spencer's stuff would only-" I stop talking because I can see the face that Spencer's giving me. She still hasn't told Ashley about kissing Carmen. I look past Ashley and at Spencer, "I'm sorry Spencer but I can't talk to you. I have things going on."

Spencer chimes in, "What things?"

"I-" I decide not to tell her until everything's worked out. I don't wanna cry in front of Spencer or Ashley, "I'll tell you sometime."

Ashley rolls her eyes, "You're such a-"

I roll my eyes right back at her, "Leave me alone, Ashley, I'm likely to knock you the fuck out."

Before Ashley says anything Spencer walks over to her, "I think we should go to school now. I don't wanna be late."

Ashley looks at Spencer and nods, "Fine." Ashley walks to her closet.

Spencer walks to me and pushes me out of the doorway and closes Ashley's door. "Why do you have to start with her?"

I lean on the banister, "I don't start anything with her. She starts with me. You're the one still playing with her emotions, Spence. Either go out with her or don't. Have you kissed Carmen again?"

Spencer looks down, "Yeah."

"Listen, Spencer. It's your life, I'm not gonna tell you what to do. I, apparently, can't tell you anything about love." I say.

Spencer shakes her head, "No, no, no. I thought we forgot about that, I'm sorry I said that I-"

I cut her off as I shake my head, "No, Lily and me were going through things. That's why I was such a bitch to you the other day. I felt like I was dying. And on top of that pain there was my hand," I left it up, it's not really hurting right now. "I punched my mirror. You're the only one that knows that. Well, you and Jeremy, I didn't tell Kyla, yet."

Spencer looks at me then wraps her arms around me, "So you guys broke up?"

I wrap my arms around her and whisper in her ear, "Yeah. I told her not to talk to me, period. She cheated on me." Spencer squeezes me tighter, "Please don't tell Ashley." I say.

And I guess when you talk about something, that conjures it up; Ashley opens the door. "Don't tell me what?" she asks.

Me and Spencer stop hugging each other, "Nothing." Spencer says, "Uh, she doesn't want you to know she thinks you looked hot in your panties." Spencer says making up lie… well, it wasn't in my head.

Ashley rolls her eyes, "Your lying."

I open my mouth but Spencer speaks, "Nope. Let's go to school. We're gonna be late." Spencer grabs Ashley by the hand and takes her downstairs. I mouth 'thank you' to her and she smiles and nods.

Just as Spencer and Ashley walk out of the door Kyla comes out of her room with a towel, drying her hair, "Talking to Spencer and Ashley?"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;AN::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

hmmmm, yes yes yes, tragedy for Roxy... and you know it'll only get worst for her because... it's Roxy, sorry, Lily and Roxy have quite a bit of hell coming their way. But i promise it'll get better. thanks for reading and 2morrow i will post the 9th chaper for a brthday present to... someone else with my birthday blah blah blah

xoxo