As It Was and You Were
Chapter Six
After Parties
Peter's Story
I wasn't feeling up to much. Last night I was bored so I thought I would just… go out for the night. Have some fun, some cheese and other stuff. So I, what is it? The thing where I change into a rat, amilagus. I think. I went roaming the castle. The last thing I remember was a lot of cheese. I also remember crawling past the third floor where Lily and James were having a problem of some sort again. I heard the words 'kiss', 'liked it', 'again' and 'more'. I don't know what happened really it was difficult to tell. I think they were trying to kill each other.
Anyway, I now lie in the dungeons. Completely naked in a puddle of something that smells foul. I think I wet myself again.
It just got worse.
There's something beside me… If I squint I can see…
OH MY DOG AND ALL THE MAGICAL CATS IN THE PUCKING WORLD!
It's a naked mole rat!
So I manage to put two and two together and I have come up with…
I JUST HAD SEX WITH A MOLE RAT!!
The End of Peter's Story
James awoke with the sun shining directly into his eyes.
Strange. I usually sleep with the curtains closed. Also, usually I don't have a heavy weight on my chest that smells like flowers. Like Lily to be exact. Magical Pucking Cats! It is Lily!
He opened his eyes very wide and they expanded to the size of giant pea soup tureens. He remembered what happened the night before.
And was it good or what? Yes it was. Well to him anyway.
Lily was slowly waking up on something a little lumpier than her normal mattress. It was nice and comfortable though. She hugged onto James a little tighter.
Wait… James? I have never slept with James. That way or another. Then that means… Oh yes. Commence screaming now.
"What are you doing? What did you do?"
"What did I do? Well what about what you did? You did what I did and I liked what you did because it was the same thing that I did and oh puck it I lost myself," They had both sat up and were pointing at each other.
"OK whatever. Nobody is to find out about this. If you tell anyone… I will castrate you to the extent-"
"OK message received loud and clear,"
"Good. I need to go and have a shower and some breakfast. I still have James taste in my mouth," James raised an eyebrow.
--
"I'm sorry sir. I went back to my common room and I fell asleep. I had a… long study session," Lily looked away.
"Well Lily. I am glad you came and apologised. However you will have to do the detention again tonight,"
"Yes Professor Slughorn. Bye," Lily walked away turning slightly red. James passed her and caught her eye she jerked her head straight ahead. James continued on to see Professor Slughorn.
"Hello James. Where were you last night? You were meant to see me at eight o'clock," Slughorn looked at James sternly. James shifted his head around. Then grinned excitedly.
"Nous avons passé la soirée faisant dehors sur le divan,"
"Vraiment ? Vous petit rascal. Vous pouvez obtenir outre de la détention pour faire la bonne chose. Elle l'aiment?" Slughorn smiled amusedly.
"Tristement non. Mais je pense que j'y arrive. Je ferai sa chute dans l'amour avec moi n'importe ce que," James shrugged and smiled slightly.
"Je te souhaite la bonne chance dans vos futurs avancements James. Je vous ai offert bonne journée," Slughorn gave James a jovial wave and continued on his happy way. James returned the favour.
--
"Alice? Are you coming to Transfiguration with me?"
"Well Lily, seeing as I am in the same Transfiguration class as you, no,"
"Oh OK. Wait…"
"Little slow on the uptake aren't we? Have you taken drugs? Been hexed? Lost your brain? Done something crazy that you thought you would never do?"
"No,"
Oh what a tangled web of lies and deceit Lily was weaving herself into. All these stories, all these avoided looks and meetings. She was digging her very own grave complete with a coffin. Of course the headstone engraving came with the package.