Author's Notes: It's been a brutal couple of weeks. First, two weeks of graduation rehearsals - but my new song was a hit. Then, cleaning out and packing up my entire classroom. Then, just when things settled down, it was time for a new computer, which meant transferring all of my files (including some 30 gigs of music) to the new one. headdesk The good news is, we don't move for another 6 weeks and I have nothing better to do between now and then besides pack and write fanfic - so hopefully, updates will become more frequent again.

I want to give an extra special thank you to Kaeru Shisho for sticking with me so far. I count on your reviews for feedback about what's working and what isn't. I'm always deeply impressed by how you pick up on all the subtleties I think about and try so hard to weave in. Reading your reviews just makes all the hard work worth it. By the by, during my file-transferring time-lag drought I sat down and read Greeting Cards. I'm desperately in love with your dysfunctional artist Heero and his lovely cards. :)

I swear to you, dear readers, there is a reunion by the end of this chapter. We're nearing the end of the anime canon now and there's a lot to cover... and some pilots who've been wound up for waaaay too long.

PBJ,
--D

Chapter 16 – Keep Holding On (Episodes 39 – 42)

As Quatre shut down Sandrock inside the cargo hold of Trowa's shuttle, he realized that his hands were shaking and his heart was pounding, harder even than it had during any part of the battle that had just ended. Does he remember…?

Trowa stood waiting in the doorway between the cargo hold and the cockpit, watching as Quatre came down from Sandrock and walked slowly towards him. "Quatre…" he greeted the other boy softly.

"Trowa…" Quatre stopped an arm's reach away from the taller boy, looking up at him with worried eyes. He wanted to reach out and touch Trowa, hug the other boy hard to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming, but he had no idea how such an action would be perceived, so instead he hesitantly held out his hand. "I… I'm glad you came."

"It felt like the right thing to do…" Trowa's mind was still playing the sound of Quatre's voice screaming his name on a loop, but he didn't know how to ask him about the memories. Reaching out, he took the other boy's hand in his own and squeezed it. "Quatre, I don't… remember very much at all. I'm sorry."

"No!" Quatre shook his head vehemently as he squeezed Trowa's hand back. "You have nothing to apologize for, Trowa! It's… it's my fault…" Letting go of the other boy's hand, he glanced away awkwardly. What do I say? What do I do? I've been waiting for this moment for so long and yet I feel verbally paralyzed…

"Can I ask you a question?" Trowa's voice was so warm and soft that Quatre turned back to look at him in surprise, his heart catching in his throat at the intensity of those green eyes studying him.

"Anything. As many questions as you want."

"Were we… friends?"

There was such a vulnerable sincerity in the question that Quatre thought his heart might shatter into a million pieces in response and it was difficult to keep the tears from springing into his eyes. "We've known each other for a couple of months – not well, honestly, but… I think we're fighting for the same cause, the same peace." I owe Trowa everything for saving me from myself, no matter how close we were or weren't… "And if there's anything I can do for you, anything at all… I would do it gladly."

"Oh…" Trowa closed his eyes for a moment, trying to piece together the fragments of his visual memory with the sound of Quatre's voice. He remembered clearly how broken up Quatre had been when he first came to see Trowa at the circus, but now Quatre almost seemed to be hiding it, keeping himself at arm's length. If he claims we don't know each other that well, then why do I feel as if he is a huge part of remembering who I am? Because we fought together? "I lost my memory in battle?"

Quatre nodded slowly. "You were… protecting me." It wasn't the complete story, but somehow Quatre couldn't bring himself to try and explain to Trowa that he'd almost accidentally killed him. Maybe I'm afraid he wouldn't forgive me if he knew and understood the truth…

"Then you must be important to me." Trowa watched with interest as Quatre froze and his cheeks flushed pink, but the other boy finally pushed past him into the cockpit, brushing off the comment by changing topics.

"Noin is on her way to meet us and then we'll head to one of my family's natural resource satellites," Quatre informed him, keeping his back to Trowa as he sat down in one of the pilot seats. Trowa's rather innocent comment had turned over an enormous mountain of feelings inside Quatre, feelings he had no place to be burdening Trowa with, now or maybe ever. He really had no idea if he'd been important to Trowa before he lost his memory, but Trowa was too important for Quatre to risk hurting him in any way. "Even if you don't remember Noin, she knows you too and is also a friend."

Not wanting to upset his new-old friend, Trowa let his previous comment go as he came to sit in the other pilot seat beside Quatre. I didn't mean to embarrass him…I just don't remember. "I don't remember her either. What about Duo and… and Heero?"

Quatre frowned a little as he keyed in some commands and the shuttle started to move. "That's… complicated." Quatre was trying his best to hide how frustrated he was with how poorly the plan to reunite the pilots had gone so far and he wondered if Trowa would have turned him down the same way Duo had if he hadn't lost his memory. "You know you don't have to come with me, right?"

Trowa was quiet for a moment, turning over the pieces of new information. It might have been simpler to stay with Catherine and the circus, but… "I'm going to stay with you, Quatre. I don't know why it feels like the right thing to do, but it does." He paused for a moment before adding. "Is that okay?"

Smiling in spite of the confusing mess of his feelings, Quatre nodded quickly. "As long as it's what you want, then I'm happy."

o/ You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand /o

-- But nobody's thanking you for what you're doing. At least with the White Fang, you'll be treated as a hero! --

-- I'm not interested in that. I'll just keep doing my thing as the God of Death. --

-- That's a lonely battle. --

Duo's last conversation with Hilde drifted through his mind as he half-dozed in the cockpit of his shuttle, headed towards the same natural resource satellite he'd gone to visit Quatre at several days before.

Am I lonely?

He didn't really know how to answer that question, because, to Duo, it seemed that he'd always been alone. He didn't even view it as a bad thing anymore. He was used to being alone, thinking alone, acting alone… and he wondered if the same was true of the other pilots. Lately, his thoughts always came drifting back to the month he'd spent in Africa with Quatre or, even more so, the month he'd spent with Heero at the school. In the darkness of this cockpit, out alone in space, he could admit to missing those times with a growing, gnawing sort of sensation.

I've always told myself to live without regrets, because you never know which day is your last…you never know when you'll lose people or places…

It had long been his habit not to depend on anyone else, not to need anyone else… but more and more, he found himself surprisingly fighting that thought instead of embracing it. And I know there's no end to this war if we pilots can't trust each other.

Duo opened his eyes as the monitors inside the shuttle started beeping, sitting upright with a start as images started flooding the screen.

"Sandrock?!" Duo watched as Quatre's mobile suit appeared from within a badly damaged shuttle, followed by one of OZ's older units. There was a third suit, identical to the other OZ suit, a short distance away from the others and vastly outnumbered.

Duo was cursing under his breath as he parked his shuttle inside a large piece of debris and jumped out of the pilot's seat, running for the door to the cargo hold. Climbing into Deathscythe, he engaged the new shielding device and headed straight for the suit that was in distress. The shuttle behind Sandrock was flickering dangerously and moments later it exploded in a fiery ball, catapulting the Gundam towards the suit that was in distress.

Quatre's suit was taking a beating and Duo raced towards them as fast as he could, hoping he'd make it in time. As he disengaged the shielding device, he flipped the switch to send a message out to all three suits, knowing the other two must be friends of Quatre. Duo was totally floored when on his monitors appeared not only Quatre and Noin, but also a very surprised Trowa and he couldn't help but grin a little to see the other boy looking less haunted and a bit more like his old self.

"Are you playing games with these brainless machines?" he teased in a slightly sarcastic tone as he noticed the look of pure joy on Quatre's face. Duo was glad to be back in action and he knew it was written all over his face as well. "I'm such a nice guy. I'm here to save the guy that destroyed you, Deathscythe." No hard feelings, Trowa.

Deathscythe and Sandrock made quick work of the remaining enemies before Noin's voice came over the monitors, suggesting they all talk face to face for a moment. She pulled her suit up beside Duo and opened the cockpit and the others quickly followed her lead.

Trowa was absolutely baffled by the appearance of another Gundam and he turned to Quatre and asked softly. "Who is that guy?"

I guess he hasn't gotten his memory back yet. Duo leaned forward with wide eyes, hands on his hips, trying his best to be light-hearted about the situation. All he could really do was be himself and have hope that by not treating Trowa any differently, it would help his memories to return. I know Quatre's right – we should stick together. "Come on!" he started in an overly dramatic voice. "Have you forgotten me already?! I'm one of the best friends you've got!"

-- It's probably a suit performance test! Don't help them out! -- Trowa blinked as a voice echoed in his brain, but much like Quatre's screams, he could not match any time and place to the verbal memory. Still, it was enough to reconnect him to the voice he was hearing now and he realized it was the braided boy who'd come to see him at the circus. "I'm sorry."

Duo blinked in surprise, wondering if Trowa had not understood his sense of humor. "Hey, I was only kidding!" He threw both hands out to the side in a helpless sort of gesture. "Geez, you can't take a joke?"

Quatre cut in at that moment, unable to hold back any longer. "Duo!" Duo's appearance had been a wonderful surprise, restoring his waning spirit in full force and he could not keep the hope, the worry, the slight disbelief out of his voice. "Will you really fight with us?!"

"Sure," he shrugged a little. Duo was still certain that Quatre was keeping parts of the story from him, but now was not the time or place to hash it out. Not in front of Trowa. He chose to give the easiest answer on a list of many. "Because if we fight then the citizens don't have to."

"Duo Maxwell!" Noin spoke up, waiting with one hand on her hip until Duo turned to face her. "Thank you. From my heart."

Duo was a bit surprised by the warm welcome from someone he hardly knew and for some reason, it gave him the urge to bolt in the opposite direction. "You shouldn't get your hopes up too high. I'm not especially devoted."

There was a long moment of silence as they all looked around the circle at one another and then Quatre cleared his throat and spoke again. "We were headed to my natural resource satellite, Duo. Sandrock needs some work done to be considered space-worthy."

"But your ride's trashed," Duo gestured with a wry grin, directing one hand to the remnants of the shuttle floating mixed in with the pieces of various broken mobile suits.

"Regrettably so," Noin muttered in agreement.

"Lucky for you guys, my shuttle's parked in some debris not far from here. Why don't we head in that direction – you can set us a course and we can…" He trailed off, waving a hand as he looked from Noin to Quatre.

"Discuss what our next move should be."

o/ When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No I won't give in /o

Once they had all four mobile suits stored safely in the cargo hold, Duo took the main pilot's seat with Noin leaning over the back of his chair, filling him in on her failed attempt to convince Wu Fei to join them. Quatre had seated himself behind them, leaving Trowa to take the co-pilot's seat for the moment.

Remembering the feisty nature of the Chinese boy, Duo wasn't surprised to hear that he was being so resistant to working with them. "We'll probably have to give up on Wu Fei. He's gonna do what he wants on his own." I wonder if I should ask them about Heero.

"Then should we head back to Earth?" Noin suggested after a moment of silence. She'd wanted to bring the pilots together, but now that she had them in the same place, she realized that there was no way she could simply try and take command of them. She wanted to continue supporting Relena's pacifism, but she couldn't force any of them to see the situation the same way she did.

"But there are White Fang troops patrolling the vicinity," Quatre disagreed. "It'd be hard to get past them."

White Fang again…they're only prolonging this mess… and in the name of the colonies too. Duo folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes with a disgruntled sigh. "You mean we should try to stop the White Fang?"

Noin leaned in a little closer, sensing Duo's discontent. "Relena would work out a peace plan with the colonies." She could sense that the mention of Relena provoked Duo even more, but not knowing why, she simply continued her thought. "Negotiations with the White Fang can take place afterward."

I wish it were as easy as that, but we can't just ignore White Fang either. Quatre stood up and Duo looked up at him as he spoke. "Right, but the White Fang is increasing its armaments. Even though the people of the colonies don't agree with them." Hmm, good to know Quatre and I are still somewhere close to the same page.

The sound of an alert on the monitor interrupted Quatre and Duo leaned towards Trowa, pointing. "What's that?"

Trowa touched the button to bring up the message, reading it out loud to the group. "An encoded transmission. It's being broadcast in the area." Trowa made a slightly surprised noise as he turned to Duo, having recognized the addressee. "It's a message to the 'Deathscythe'."

Duo dropped his arms from behind his head, his eyes widening in surprise. "To the Deathscythe?!" Who would send a message like that besides… On a whim, he keyed in an old encryption code.

"Duo, can you hear me?"

Drawing back in surprise, Duo's mouth opened into an O before he responded. "Old man! Is that you, Howard?!"

"How would you like a mission, like in the old days? Of course I'll give you full supplies and repairs."

"What are you doing out here in space?" Duo asked, still too incredulous at the face on the screen to give a proper answer. The last time he'd seen Howard was out on the ocean, back on Earth, long before the trip into Africa.

"Seemed like all the action was moving out here," Howard replied with a grin. "So I thought I'd better follow suit. Sending you coordinates now. Lemme know you got 'em okay and we'll talk when you get here."

"I've got them, but Howard – I've got friends with me."

"I know – they're just as welcome. See you in about 12 hours, kid."

The transmission ended abruptly and Duo sat back in his chair, still a bit in shock. "I'm, uh...not really sure where these coordinates lead," he said to the rest of the group. "But we can definitely trust Howard. He's been helping me out since the beginning."

"It's actually a lot closer than any of the resource satellites," Quatre pointed out, standing up and coming to lean over Trowa's shoulder to study the coordinates.

"If you trust him, Duo…" Noin started. Part of her still wanted to head back to Earth to check on Relena, but they did need to have Sandrock modified. If this Howard was supporting the Gundams, then perhaps he was yet another ally doing his best for the cause, just like Sally Po.

"I do, totally," Duo nodded, keying in the coordinates, quietly glad that his friends were willing to trust his judgment. Maybe I ought to offer them a little more of the same in return… "What about you, Trowa?"

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me," Trowa replied with a shrug.

"Then it's settled. We'll be there in a little over twelve hours and I've already set the autopilot."

"We should take shifts, get some rest," Noin suggested and Quatre quickly nodded in agreement. "Leave one of us here to watch the controls."

"Let me take last shift, since I'll be coordinating our arrival with Howard," Duo suggested. They quickly arranged a schedule for the night and Duo left Noin and Quatre in the cockpit before taking Trowa on a brief tour of the shuttle. He'd pilfered a larger one than necessary when leaving L2, but it had certainly come in handy. The shuttle itself was far too large for just the four of them, but the cargo hold was necessary for the four mobile suits.

An hour of rolling around in an uncomfortable bunk trying not to think too hard about anything quickly made Duo realize that he was still too wired from the fight to sleep, so he decided to take a trip to the kitchen instead and find something to eat. As the doors slid open and Duo walked in, he stopped mid-step when he realized that Trowa was already sitting at the table with his head between his hands, a pained and frustrated expression on his face.

"Trowa…?" Duo asked, taking a step closer so that the doors could slide closed behind him. "Is something wrong?"

As if he hadn't even noticed Duo's arrival, Trowa looked up at the sound of his own name and made a poor attempt to smile, which looked more like a grimace to Duo. "It's nothing."

"Bullshit." Duo pulled out a chair, turning it around backwards to that he could rest his arms across the top of the back, chin on his hands as he studied the other boy.

Trowa's eyebrows rose, the hint of a real smile tugging at his lips. "…it's stupid. It's a stupid thing to be upset about," he finally mumbled, averting his eyes.

Duo was even more curious now, but he tried to keep his tone light as he pushed again. "I'm an open ear, Trowa. You can tell me anything and I won't repeat it…" Duo trailed off a little and extended one hand to poke Trowa in the shoulder, waiting until the other boy met his eyes before teasing a little. "But I don't promise not to laugh."

Being around Duo made Trowa feel more at ease than he had in awhile and he found the words tumbling out of his mouth before he had even thought them through. "I… don't know what to eat. I mean, I don't know what I like to eat. I don't want to eat something I don't like or will make me sick and Catherine always gave me my meals because she knew what I liked."

Having not expected such a sudden rush of explanation, Duo blinked once before biting his lip to try and keep back a snicker, but Trowa seemed more relieved to have shared his thoughts than offended at Duo's response. "Well..." Duo started, pushing himself up and off the chair and walking around Trowa to the cabinets. "I have no idea what's in this kitchen. Checking the food stores wasn't exactly my first priority when stealing this shuttle." He winked at Trowa over his shoulder before opening the cabinets above the sink and stove. "Hmm… canned vegetables, canned fruit, canned meat, canned brains…"

"Seriously?" Trowa interrupted with a wrinkle of his nose, letting himself be drawn into Duo's silly antics. "I've heard that brains taste like bland and lumpy paste."

"If you flavor 'em with a little garlic, they're not so bad," Duo shot back, enjoying the snickers he could hear emanating from Trowa even though his back was turned. "Ah ha!" Duo finally found what he'd been looking for, buried behind unopened jars of pickles and a couple cans of almost outdated tuna fish. Screwing open the jar, he ripped off the seal and dabbed one finger in before turning back to Trowa. "Give it a taste."

Trowa hesitated a moment, his eyes flickering from Duo's face to the finger just in front of his nose before he leaned forward to lick the brown goo carefully off the end. "I recognize this – Catherine gave it to me."

"It's a genius creation," Duo enthused, turning back to the cabinets and resuming his search. A few minutes later, he had everything he was looking for and hummed cheerfully as he prepared them what he deemed as a real treat. "I'd ask if you want rectangles or triangles, but I doubt you'd have any idea what I'm talking about, so triangles it is!" He turned to set a plate down in front of Trowa with a flourish before taking his own and re-claiming his chair.

Trowa stare at the plate for a moment in confusion. "Duo… this is a sandwich."

"Indeed it is," Duo grinned, picking up his own and taking a huge bite. "Go'won, twy it," he added around a mouthful of peanut butter and strawberry jam.

Although he was somewhat dubious about Duo's dubbing peanut butter a "genius creation", Trowa figured he was no worse off than if he'd chosen something for himself. Carefully picking up the sandwich, he took a smaller bite than Duo had and chewed thoughtfully before turning to the other boy with a surprised smile. "It's really good."

"Told ya," Duo smiled in return, scarfing down more than half of his sandwich before Trowa had even taken a second bite.

"Noin's shift is ending. I'm going to go sit with Quatre so that he isn't alone," Trowa told him as he glanced at the clock on the wall. "I'm going to take this with me." Wrapping the sandwich in a napkin, he picked up the bottle of water he'd been drinking and walked to the door, looking back just before departing. "Thanks, Duo."

Alone in the kitchen, Duo finished his sandwich thoughtfully. It was Sister Helen who had taught him the art of the perfect PBJ, back in the one time he'd actually had a real place to call home. Thinking back on those days hurt and so he tried to shake it from his mind. Duo really didn't like to think about his feelings and even though he was glad Trowa seemed to be doing a little better, a small piece of him was almost envious. I wonder what it would be like to just wake up knowing nothing and having to start over… but I bet Trowa doesn't really consider it starting over.

After Duo had cleaned up, he wandered through the other door in the kitchen to find himself in a small lounge. There were several arm chairs in the room and a sofa positioned just underneath a viewport. Stretching out on the sofa, Duo tilted his head back until the only thing he could see was the stars racing by outside. I wonder what Heero's doing…

Duo wanted to believe he was following the right path by agreeing to join up with the others, but deep down, he still felt like he was drifting. I don't want to admit it, but… it's because Heero's not here. We've always been on the same page, even when we thought we weren't. Quatre had definitely said they'd gone to Earth together, but what then? Why were Quatre and Noin here when Heero wasn't? Where was he and what was he doing? Duo sighed heavily and closed his eyes, unable to stop the image of those deep blue eyes from invading his mind.

Where are you?

o/ So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear /o

Duo didn't remember falling asleep, but his eyes were closed when the sound of someone else entering the room roused him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here!"

Duo recognized Quatre's voice and waved from his position on the sofa. "You don't have to leave."

Quatre hesitated in the doorway for a long moment before crossing the room and sitting down on an armchair beside the sofa. He hadn't had a chance to talk to Duo alone since they'd all met up and he could tell something was still off between them. "I didn't want to bother you."

Duo looked at Quatre upside-down from his sprawling position, his arms folded underneath his head, but his expression was serious. "You have never been a bother to me, Quatre."

"Thank you…" Quatre paused, playing with the hem of his shirt sleeve nervously. I know he's waiting for me to talk, been waiting for me to talk since we saw each other back at the resource satellite… but I haven't talked to anyone about this – not Noin or Heero and certainly not Trowa. Quatre tried to misdirect, even though he knew it was next to impossible when it was Duo he was talking to. "Duo, you seemed… upset when I last saw you."

"I was upset," Duo answered promptly. "About a lot of things… some of them I'm not upset about anymore, some of them I am and can't do anything about…" He paused, crossing one leg over the other, his eyes still focused on the view of stars. "And maybe I was upset at you, a little… but not as upset as you seem to be with yourself. I admit to wishing I knew why."

"I'm responsible for what happened to Trowa!" Quatre blurted the words out quite suddenly and there was silence for a moment before Duo, without needing to look at Quatre, reached to take one of Quatre's hands in his own, squeezing it lightly before letting it go again.

"I'm listening."

And so the entire story tumbled out of Quatre, from the moment he'd woken in the medical facility and met Irea, all the way through his father's untimely demise, his construction of Wing Zero and the accident with Trowa and Heero. Once he'd tearfully gotten that hurdle out the way, detailing the saga of his journey to Earth with Heero – the things he'd learned at Sanc Kingdom and his trip across the desert to retrieve Sandrock – was relatively easy. Duo listened quietly to the entire story without interrupting until Quatre finally came to his conclusion, sighing deeply. "You must think I'm awful, to have almost killed Trowa. I'd understand if you… if you…"

Duo swung his legs off of the sofa and sat up, reaching to take both of Quatre's hands in his own and waiting until the blond met his gaze before speaking. "Quatre, I've piloted the Zero System. I had no idea that you built it, and honestly, it's incredible."

"I just blindly followed the blueprint," Quatre refused the praise with a shake of his head. "If I had paid more attention to the cockpit system--"

"No, Quatre. It's not your fault," Duo blew his bangs out of his face thoughtfully, trying to find the right way to phrase what he was thinking. "You couldn't have known what that system would do – and it's intense – you'd have to be a God or something to actually master control of it! I know exactly what kinds of things it must have shown you, as I've yet to get them out of my head myself!"

"I'm so sorry," Quatre started again, trying to pull his hands out of Duo's grasp. "If I hadn't…"

Duo let go of Quatre's hands, but only so that he could lean forward, into the blond's personal space, his eyes slightly narrowed in concern. "Stop," he muttered softly. "Stop apologizing. I forgive you. I know that Heero must have forgiven you, or he wouldn't have gone to Earth with you. And Trowa… even if his memories are scrambled eggs, his soul forgives you or he wouldn't have followed you. You – you, Quatre – need to forgive yourself."

Quatre stared at Duo for a moment, feeling the time and space between them melt away, as if it had only been a day since they'd left Africa together. I'm glad I told him the truth, but… "Duo…" he started softly, as if he was about to contradict his friend's words.

"Quat." Duo cut him off, waggling his eyebrows and grinning quite suddenly in such a disarming way that Quatre couldn't help but laugh in response. "Don't." Poor Quatre… I had no idea what he'd been through when we met up at the resource satellite. I feel a little guilty for how abrupt I was with him. My non-adventures with Hilde seem tame in comparison. Realizing that Quatre was speaking again, Duo shook his thoughts away, letting go of his friends' hands and scooting further back onto the sofa again.

"…and honestly, Duo, I was a little worried about you after we met up a few days ago. I'm relieved that you're here with me now and in better spirits." Quatre was perceptive enough that he could easily tell that Duo was distracted, but as was common with the braided pilot, he hid it well. He can listen to me talk and talk, but when I offer the same…

"Worried about me?" Duo replied amiably, reaching to scratch the back of his braid before flopping back down on the couch. What would I even say? I'm confused about life, the universe and everything? It would only worry Quatre more and he worries too much as it is. "Don't be silly. A little rest and the God of Death will be good as new!" Folding his arms underneath his head, he closed his eyes and hoped that Quatre would let it go.

Rising from his chair, Quatre looked down at Duo's prone form and closed eyes and wasn't fooled for a moment. Something is definitely weighing on his mind. Still, I already know that there's little use in pushing Duo when he doesn't want to talk or he'll just withdraw more. Leaning over his friend, Quatre couldn't help but get one last jab in. "A wise man once said that 'no man is an island, entire of itself…' and I'm pretty sure that goes for Gods of Death too." He hesitated for a moment, but when Duo didn't respond at all, Quatre leaned a little closer to brush a gentle kiss on his forehead before turning and walking out of the lounge.

Alone with his thoughts, Duo whispered the rest of the words to himself: "… 'any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee'." He hadn't heard those words in years, not since the days of sitting quietly in a pew and listening to one of Father Maxwell's sermons, but he'd always had a strong memory for words and wondered what exactly Quatre was trying to imply.

Am I an island?

"Earth and Space. The two exist together in a pattern of confrontation. My name is Milliardo Peacecraft. We will eliminate Earth, the force that conflicts with Space."

"No way!" Howard exclaimed with wide eyes as he stared at the screen.

Noin was even more distraught. "What're you saying, Zechs?!" Turning away, she walked away from the group and Quatre hurried after her, the two of them talking in voices so soft that Duo and Trowa couldn't hear them. Trowa gazed after them with a concerned, but confused expression before turning to look at Duo, who looked rather like he'd been punched in the gut.

Duo felt like he'd been punched – really, like he'd been pummeled numerous times in slow motion, and it was all just beginning to catch up to him. First, the surprise that Howard was in space, followed by everything Quatre had told him about the Zero System and Trowa. Then, the coordinates leading them to an enormous battleship, Peacemillion, and Howard's revelation that he'd been working with Zechs and that he'd built the Tallgeese. And now, Zechs has… Zechs is…

"Duo…" Trowa started tentatively, his eyes tracking Quatre and Noin as the former chased the latter out of the room, "Do you think you could even begin to explain to me what's going on? Obviously this Zechs fellow is important, but…"

Watching the other two leave, Duo knew intuitively that Noin was going to go after Zechs and he nudged Trowa before taking off in a slightly different direction. "Zechs and Noin used to work together for OZ," Duo started as he jogged through corridors with Trowa on his heels. "Obviously they don't anymore – Zechs was here on Peacemillion with Howard not long ago – but now it seems he's decided to head the colony rebels and none of us know why! The rebels were actually part of OZ once too, a part called the Treize Faction, but at some point they went solo."

"And he really intends to… to eliminate Earth?" Trowa responded as if the very idea was completely ludicrous.

"With a battleship the size of Libra…especially if White Fang eliminates the last of the OZ Space Force and takes over Barge, first…" Duo shook his head so sharply that his braid snapped back and forth. "I can't even imagine. Hey, I think we've beaten them here. Come on." He led Trowa into the low-gravity hold, making their way to the shuttle they'd all arrived on. I feel sick to my stomach thinking about what could happen if we don't stop Zechs… if he takes aim at Earth… I wanted an end to OZ, but not like this.

"Hang on a second, Miss Noin!"

The doors slid open again to reveal Noin and Quatre. "Up here," Duo whispered to Trowa and they floated easily to the roof of the shuttle to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"I know you don't want me to go. But I have to meet with Zechs and talk to him. I'm positive he has a good reason." Noin placed hand over her heart before heading towards the shuttle. "He must be rebelling for Relena and the Sanc Kingdom."

"All the same, it's too dangerous to approach Barge alone," Quatre argued as they reached the door of the shuttle. "Sandrock's been completely prepared. I'll go with you."

"Quatre…" Noin replied in surprise, looking down sadly. She knew it wasn't her fault that Zechs had made these decisions, but she still felt obligated as his friend to try and find out what had prompted such irrationality.

Deciding it was better to make their presence known, Duo, laying on his stomach, peeked over the edge of the shuttle's roof. "There are many civilian colonies around Barge!" He enjoyed the surprised looks he received from both Noin and Quatre before he continued. "Shouldn't be too hard to approach the fortress unnoticed."

"Duo! You're coming with us?!" Quatre called up to him. Did he take what I said to heart last night?

Duo's eyes narrowed a little as he processed what they were about to get themselves into, but for the first time in awhile, he really felt like he had some direction. "I wanna let OZ and White Fang know the God of Death has returned with a bang!"

"Thanks a lot, Duo!" Quatre responded, unable to hide how pleased he was.

Glancing over his shoulder at Trowa, Duo asked him, "Catch all that?" and was even more amused by the choked noise of surprise that came from their blond friend. See, Quatre? We're all in it together now. There's nothing to feel bad about anymore. None of us is alone when we stand together.

o/ Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend /o

Heero watched over Wing's monitors with curiosity as Sally's crew unloaded a large object that he could only guess to be a mobile suit. She said she had something important to give me… is it…?

"Heero, you were planning to return to space, weren't you?" Sally deduced as she spoke to him over the monitor. "Would you mind taking this along with you?"

The large sheet fell away to reveal Heavy Arms and Heero addressed her now with genuine interest. "You found out where Trowa is?!" I wonder if Quatre found him…

"I think the Gundams are essential right now," Sally started carefully. She knew enough now about Heero's demeanor from her talks with Noin to be sure that making demands on him was not the way to go to win his support. "I know you Gundam pilots can all be trusted. That's why I want to do what I can to help you." When he said nothing in response, she figured he was at least going to hear her out. "Heero, the battles you fight by yourselves are so solitary. You wouldn't like getting sympathy. But let me help you a bit."

She's right. I don't need anyone's sympathy or support. I've been making my own decisions for a while now. Heero was quite aware of who Sally was and what activities she'd been involved in, enough that he was certain she wanted peace and was not a supporter of OZ or White Fang. And an easy ride back to space would be convenient with the growing amount of White Fang troops. Wing Zero's alert system beeped, indicating that his time to consider the decision was up. "The enemy! Prepare shuttle for take off! I'll take care of these guys."

Sally watched Heero take off into the sky and marveled at how easy it had been to convince him to come with her, at least temporarily. "I don't see any enemies…" she started and stopped abruptly when an explosion in the distance surprised her. What an amazing kid. "He seems kind of different this time. He used to be so abrasive. He was hard to approach." What changed him? She picked up a walkie-talkie to instruct her small crew. "Hurry up and load that Gundam!"

As soon as the enemies had been taken care of, Heero returned and loaded Wing alongside Heavy Arms before joining Sally in the cockpit. "Sally Po," he greeted her, sitting down in the co-pilot's seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Heero Yuy," she replied with a smile, turning in her seat to face him. "I'm glad you came aboard. I have bad news and good news for you, but I guess it depends on how you want to view it."

"Go on."

"Relena has resigned her position with Romefeller…and Treize has re-taken command." She paused, not knowing what his reaction would be.

"Is that supposed to be the good news, the bad or both?" Heero replied dryly.

Sally couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped as she shrugged. "It's the worst of what I have to tell you, because the rest of it is that I'm on my way to meet Noin, on a spaceship called Peacemillion."

"And Trowa?"

"Is also there, along with Quatre Winner and Duo Maxwell." Wait, is that a reaction I detect? For a split second, it had almost seemed as if Heero was pleased, but as quickly as Sally's blink, he'd turned away and started punching in buttons on the shuttle's console as if she hadn't said anything at all.

After attacking both Libra and Barge, Wu Fei had damaged his Gundam beyond function. Drifting amongst the debris in space, he wondered how many years it would take crews to clean up the mess. Would they find his dead body floating among the rubble or would he be swept into an incinerator like a piece of trash?

"Nataku… I'm not ready for this to be over."

As if the whispers of the world heard his plea, the lights on Altron's console began to flicker disjointedly and a familiar voice broken by static crackled over one speaker.

"Wu Fei? Do you read me, Wu Fei?"

The Chinese boy's eyes snapped open and he reached out to punch the console sharply. "Sally Po."

"Come aboard. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Feisty woman. Wu Fei really didn't have much choice in the matter, as he barely had enough power left in his Gundam to maneuver it into the cargo hold of Sally's shuttle. He parked the wreck beside two suits he only marginally recognized and wondered who else was aboard. A member of Sally's crew showed him to the cockpit and Wu Fei was surprised when the door slid open to reveal Heero Yuy there as well.

"It's been awhile," Sally remarked cheerfully.

"You've been fighting all this time?" It was more a statement than a question.

"My exact words to you," she retorted, watching with interest as he gave half a grunt of amusement before his gaze shifted to Heero.

"I saw the suit Zechs Marquise piloted. Are you using it now?" Heero murmured a confirmation, so he felt free to ask another question. "How about the other one?"

"That's Trowa's. But it won't be much use until it's upgraded for space battle." Heero wasn't ready to give away any other details just yet, as he didn't really know this other pilot. He'd long been impressed by the Chinese boy's skill in battle, but being an outstanding pilot didn't necessarily translate to being an outstanding person, in Heero's mind. It did not tell him whether Wu Fei was honorable or trustworthy, though from the little he'd learned of him during their brief captivity aboard the Lunar Base, Heero was willing to give him a chance.

Heero reminds me of Duo, in the "give a little to get a little" attitude. "I see." Wu Fei turned his attention back to Sally. "Where are you headed to? Libra's in the opposite direction."

"We're headed for Peacemillion, where Noin's waiting for us," Sally spun her chair around to face him. "With the three other Gundam pilots." Wu Fei's eyes narrowed slightly, but Sally charged ahead before he could interrupt. "Don't tell me you want out. We're running out of fuel." I'm not afraid to stand up to you.

Wu Fei sensed a challenge and responded in kind. "Not afraid I might take over this shuttle and fly to Libra?"

Sally was amused she'd gotten a rise out of him and she swiveled around to rest her elbows on the console, chin in her hands. "Good point. I never thought of that. But on Peacemillion, there are supplies and engineers who can repair your Gundam." She glanced back at him out of the corner of her eye. Don't try to cage a wild bird, Sally. "You can go and attack Libra anytime after that."

"That's why you want me to come?" Wu Fei's eyes flickered back and forth from Heero to Sally. Nataku, it could be our chance to rise like the Phoenix.

"You can use Peacemillion any way you wish to be true to your sense of integrity," Sally said softly, turning around to look at him and leaving a moment of silence. She could see the struggle in Wu Fei's eyes and wondered what had made someone so strong be so untrusting. I admire your ferocious strength, but I don't envy the loss I see in your eyes. "I thought this was an offer you couldn't possibly refuse," she added as he finally sat down at the third station in the cockpit. "Wu Fei?"

"Thanks for your kindness," he finally replied stiffly. "But I'm not making any deals."

"Wu Fei…" Sally started again.

"Just drop it," Heero cut in, sensing that Wu Fei was at a breaking point. "He does things his own way." Be happy he didn't stubbornly decide to get back into his broken Gundam and leave.

Sally looked somewhat miffed at the comment, but she'd gotten what she wanted and what she thought was best, so she decided not to push. "So I gathered." Flashing red lights chopped off her next sentence and Sally spun around to look at the screens in dismay. "White Fang's mobile doll carriers."

Heero stood and moved to stand behind her chair. "Looks like their reinforcements have arrived."

"Yeah, and they've already surrounded us."

"I see," Heero muttered, tossing a glance back at Wu Fei. "How many?"

Sally tapped a few buttons before replying. "Judging from those carriers, they've probably got 10 Virgos on each."

"So 40 mobile dolls," Heero shrugged. "Shouldn't be a problem."

Behind them, Wu Fei stood up suddenly as he announced. "It's me they're looking for." He turned and started to walk to doorway leading to cargo hold.

Maybe I wasn't far from the mark. "You're not using your head," Heero called out to his back. "You'd be committing suicide with your Gundam."

"I don't care."

Heero hesitated for one heartbeat. "Take Zero."

"What?" Wu Fei snapped, looking back at Heero, annoyance in his expression.

"Heero… " Sally murmured in surprise. I never would have expected…

"Take Wing Zero? "

"Yeah," Heero nodded and cautioned. "But don't get disillusioned by the cockpit system."

"Who am I after?"

"While you pilot the Zero," Heero said slowly, images flashing in his own memory. "It'll tell you who your true enemies are."

Wu Fei found that at first, piloting Zero was even more intuitive than piloting Nataku and that disturbed him a little. "It's worth a try…" he muttered, focusing his mind on the controls. He'd built a deep relationship with his Gundam, but found himself enjoying the rush of piloting the Zero System. Such power…

Anticipating every enemy with time to spare, he sliced his way through the dolls with growing intensity. "Come on, Zero! Show me! Let's see what you can do!" Faster and stronger – they can't touch me. More and more of the brainless machines were being crushed by his might and Zero was telling him… telling him that it was just as it ought to be! "The road I'm taking is correct! If you're telling me I'm wrong, then use all the power you've got to try and stop me!"

For a moment, he thought he was hit, but then he wasn't, and the lights inside Zero were flickering red and gold. What are you trying to tell me? For a moment, Wu Fei entertained the idea of taking this all-powerful Gundam and using it to destroy every last remnant of weapons in space. With a suit like this, I could do it alone! "No!" Pain. "I can fight on my own!" Loss. "I'll keep on fighting alone until the day I die."

And against the starscape, Treize's face appeared and Wu Fei's body contorted inside the cockpit as the monitors – or was it his mind – flashed images of the failed duel. All the failures he'd ever had cycled through on repeat until he felt beaten down and without hope. This… is this what Yuy was talking about, the disillusionment? "I wanna keep fighting!"

Zero! I can't accept this future!

There was silence and Wu Fei took a single ragged breath. "Is that my future…?" he whispered. Zero hummed in response and new images flickered to life. Maxwell, Barton, Winner, Yuy… soldier and thief, clown and heir… Nataku, is that our place now? "With them? So my path will become the same as theirs."

o/ Keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through /o

"Earth's World Nation is claiming that unity will achieve peace. I never dreamed that I'd hear such rubbish from Treize.

I'm sure you haven't forgotten about an organization on Earth called Allied Forces of the United Earth Sphere Alliance. Did that ridiculous organization eliminate wars and make world peace a reality? Of course it didn't! Under the guise of "Peace and Justice" the Alliance came to the colonies with its overwhelming military force.

The eradication of wars cannot be achieved simply by uniting nations. It's a problem that requires an end to earthlings. Earthlings have fought since ancient times when our ancestors first walked upright. Battles between human races eventually became battles between countries. Over the thousands of years since the dawn of history, we have written our bloodstained history! The only reason is the fact that fighting is human nature!

Is our only choice to give up? No, that's hardly the truth.

The reason being that some humans possess the power to overcome their own base instincts. I'm sure you've noticed by now. The citizens of the colonies are a new breed of humans with the ability to gain true peace by controlling their instincts to battle. The colony citizens have lived their lives in space where earthlings aren't welcome. The colony citizens know through experience just how meaningless these tragic battles are. Understand that the colony citizens are preoccupied with living in space. They don't have the ability to fight. Then why did we stand up on their behalf? Because the old breed of mankind that loves to battle remains on their comfortable Earth and tries to conquer those of us who are defenseless.

It has been 200 years since our people began living in space. Isn't it time that we end this history filled with disputes? To do that we must eliminate the hotbed of all battles…the place that we call Earth!

Of course, we don't need to kill needlessly. Taking this into consideration, I once again announce to Treize Khushrenada, Sovereign of the World Nation: We demand that the Earth be eliminated from the universe! If you cannot abide by this demand, then we'll have no choice but to start a war to end all wars!"

Milliardo Peacecraft sat down with a whoosh as the screens went dark. It is done.

Zechs has lost it.

A colony's been hit.

Barge is destroyed.

Duo felt incredibly numb as he climbed down from Deathscythe and stripped out of his spacesuit. It had very little to do with the millimeters that had been between himself and death today and everything to do with how futile the whole situation seemed. We fight and fight and still more lives are lost. It's the same thing over and over again… even with three of us working together, can we really make a difference? Every step felt heavy and every breath seemed a struggle.

Just when Duo thought that nothing could reach through the heavy coating of molasses around his heart, Quatre made a strangled sound took off running across the cargo hold.

And then Duo noticed.

Is that… Altron?

And.…Heavy Arms?

…Wing Zero?!

"Trowa!" he grabbed the taller boy by the elbow and dragged him after Quatre. "Trowa, come on! It's your Gundam!!"

"Heero! Wu Fei!" Quatre was calling their names and waving and Duo couldn't quite believe his own eyes.

In the same green tank-top and spandex shorts, with the same messy chocolate hair and the same arms-crossed-over-chest stance, Heero stood calmly at the end of the platform beside Wu Fei.

Duo felt his heart drop into his toes and bounce back up again and a genuine grin burned the last of the sticky despair away with renewed fire.

o/ Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly /o

Up Next: Chapter 17 - Dare You To Move