Hello There!

I know, I know I took longer to update I'm so sorry. But at last here it is. Hope you like it.

Please don't leave without a review. It makes me update more often. And thank you for those you took the time. They really made my day.

Do you wanna know a funny thing? I just booked a trip to Rome with my friends and guess when we are going? The premiere week.. But hey... It is la citá eterna, right?

Muifilipa

6 – Where it hurts the most

There it was. He was not thrilled to be there, but he knew it had to be done. And he wasn't a scared teenager anymore, he was 22, and on his way to become a Ranger. After he moved out to college, he returned home just as little as possible. And he only did it out of respect for his mother and brother, who were after all most of the family he had left. He would never understand why they stayed after so many years of blatant abuse.

Once he actually tried to ask his mother why she was still in the house, living with, more likely live for a man who had no respect for her whatsoever, much less care for her in any sense of the word. She dismissed the question with a simple answer "What are you talking about Seeley; I love your father very much."

Yes, he knew that much. He could see it in her eyes every day, every time she talked about him. Hell, he had even seen it in the middle of their fights. He could even see it when he was beating the daylights out of her. Even when he violated her.

Love. That was a pathetic excuse to allow that kind of torture. Love should come hand in hand with respect, affection, care. Not abuse. He remembered something his grandmother told him before she died, after almost 50 years of being married to his grandfather. They had been discussing girlfriends and Seeley was adamant he would never love in his life. "My dear boy, don't dismiss love, just because you believe you never experienced it. Love either makes you or brakes you. And you Seeley Booth are one of the few lucky people whose ability to love is as big as life itself. It will break your heart, but will also bring you great things."

He still didn't believe his grandmother. He had cared for his girlfriends over the years; he had always been respectful, and attentive. But love… That transcendent, once in a lifetime, pure concept of love was still allusive.

But then again, nothing but love brought him back to the household where he suffered so much. Nothing but selfless love for his mother who despite every flaw, always tried to do the right thing. Especially now that his brother, after graduating, moved out and joined the navy.

The house was like another house in the vicinity. The front porch had a swing, where he remembered making out with Vanessa Taylor, after his junior prom. The door frame still had little marks he and Jared used to make when they pretended they were spies, and needed a secret code to communicate each other's findings. With a chuckle he remembered his mother almost going crazy when she found out. Inside the windows he could still see the curtains his mother bought one day, in an effort to make the house a home. The little front garden was an organized mess, with well cut grass, and expertly placed bouquets of flowers that went all the way from the porch to the oh-so-American white picket fence.

It was early afternoon, so he knew his father wouldn't be home. He got out of his car and taking deep breaths went inside. Everything was just as he remembered them. The hall, the living room with that old, uncomfortable couch, the kitchen counter where he ate the most amazing homemade pie he could remember ever eating…

"Mom. Hello, Mom, where are you?"

"Seeley, is that you son? Look at you, you are so handsome, but you are thinner. Have you been eating?" Susan Booth was a woman on a mission. She almost never got to see her older son, so whenever he came home she would mother him as much as she could. She missed him too much. He was always the one who jumped to defend her, and he never allowed her husband to touch her younger son. And she was grateful, that at least one of them was spared from their father's moods.

"I'm not a kid anymore, mom." He answered with a smile "I'm 22, and I just graduated from college, so you don't get to pinch my cheeks like that anymore." He gave her his trademark smile for full effect.

"Seeley Booth I put you in this world, so I'm entitled to do whatever I please whenever you give us the honor of your visit."

"Alright, alright I give. Especially if there is some of your delicious pie. Because mom, you said it yourself, I really am too thin." They both chuckled and he let himself hug his mother. He remembered when he couldn't reach past her hips, so she had to hunch down for him to hug her properly. Now it was the other way around. He was a 6 feet tall, full grown man, who almost could wrap his arms twice around his mother.

"So what have you been up to mom? How are things back home? Jared, Dad, Grams and Paps" What he really wanted to ask was if she had been hurt.

"Same old, same old. I've been taking care of the house and your father, although he spends most of his time in that barber shop of his. You know how much he likes it." Yes, Seeley did know. But he suspected that the reason he liked it so much was its strategic location, right next to the liquor store. "Jared almost broke my heart when he joined the Navy. Sending both of her sons to the military is like poison to a mother's heart, you know?" She had a sad smile now, a smile that both said I wish you didn't enlist, since I know it's likely you'll get yourself injured, and I'm so proud of you. "Your grandparents are as good as ever. Laura gave us quite a scare a few months back, when she started complaining from chest pain, but the doctor said she had only a minor arritmia which could be controlled effectively."

He nodded, showing his mother that he was aware of the situation. Even though he hadn't left school at the time he was always informed of his grandmother's condition through constant phone calls, either to Jared or his grandfather.

After a few hours talking, he decided it was time to do what he had come home to do. He couldn't think of an eloquent way to say, so he just blurted it out.

"Mom, I have something to tell you. That's actually the reason I came home now. You know I am in the army, and you know it help me pay for college, so I decided that, now that I'm out of school, I'm going to pursue a career there. I just tried out to be a Ranger, and got accepted, so in a couple of weeks, I'm starting my training. I might not be home for a while"

Susan just laughed. "Oh Seeley, that's a good one. I know you own the army a great deal, but I know that you never liked to play with guns, even though you were so good, you always got the biggest stuffed animals for your dates on the shooting booths, whenever there was a carnival. So do you really think that I would believe you?"

Booth never broke eye contact and simply stated "I'm serious Mom"

Susan knew her son very well, and looking at his eyes she knew he would never lie to her about such a matter. And then it downed on her. Her baby boy was going to be trained to kill, and probably be killed in the process. Panic started rising in her chest.

"No Seeley, you're not going. I'm not allowing it. How could you enlist yourself in something so dangerous?"

"You know I have to do this Mom. My skills as a shooter are rare, and I'm a damn good soldier. Don't worry; I'll bring myself home in one piece. But my country needs me, and I'm going."

"But Seeley…"

"No Mom, there is nothing you can say to change my mind. You know that I've been taking care of myself on my own for a while now. I could have gone without as much as an explanation. But I love you, and I wanted you to know from me. I'm good at it mom, you should have seen me. I can be a big help." In his eyes there was a determination that only the red, white and blue can bestow upon a true American.

He could only see his mother's eyes watering. His stoic, strong mother was crying. She didn't cry often, but he knew he was breaking her heart. And his thoughts flew again to love. "This is what love does to you" he acknowledged "It breaks your heart"

He embraced his mother as let her cry in his shoulder. They were like that for what it seemed like to be hours, but could have just been a few moments. He wasn't sure. Soon after he told his mother he was going to see a couple a friends while he was in town, and he'd be back for dinner.

When he came back there was a car parked in front of the house. His father's car.

"Damn it Suzy, I've told you a hundred times, that I don't care what the fuck happens I want my dinner ready when I come home. Is that too much to ask, since you do nothing more that lurk around this hell hole the whole day. You don't even clean it, as you should."

"But, honey, were just waiting on…"

"I don't fucking care if we are waiting on the Pope himself. This is my household and you will do as I say, do I make myself clear?"

"Michael, just listen this once…"

His father saw red. Stomping from the table where he was waiting for his dinner to the kitchen he grabbed Susan arm as pushed her against the counter. She hit it with her hip, and even before she caught her breath, Michael was punching her cheek. He knew that was going to leave a mark, but he was beyond remembering that he should always hit the face with an open palm.

Seeley was just opening the front door when his father slapped her mother so hard, with the back of his hand that she flew all the way to the floor at the opposite corner of the room, and was running to her to kick her while she was down.

He yelled "NO" Trying to stop his father, but he was a man on a mission.

So he did the only thing he could remember. He ran to his father, caught him by an arm and pushed him so hard that Michael just fell to the ground. Before he could even realize what he was doing he had his knee over his father's abdomen, and his hands around his neck…

"BOOTH" She was screaming at the top of her lungs, which was not saying much at the time.

Brennan had awakened in the middle of the night to Booth's quiet whispers coming from the pull-out couch. First she thought she was hearing things, but, the sounds coming from her partner continued, and they were becoming more urgent. So, afraid he might be needing anything she got up and went to check on him.

To say that he was stressed would be an understatement. The sheets were completely torn, and she could even see that he griped them so tight that he just opened a huge tear in one of them. His shirt was sweaty, his hair a complete mess. His brows were furrowed in a painful kind of way, and beads of sweat were rolling through his forehead. But what really bothered her were his cheeks, wet with tears that she could see were still leaking from his eyes.

He was murmuring intelligibly, so she didn't have a clue what was tormenting him. He would murmur a louder no, every once in a while, jerking more forcefully, his grip on his sheets increasing.

Hurting for him, she decided to wake him up. He needed his sleep and this nightmare was not helping.

So she reached the edge of the pull-out couch and started calling him softly. When he didn't respond she tried louder. After a few minutes, she decided she would have to try differently. She reached his forehead and stroked him lovingly, her fingers running to his hair, trying to calm him down. He stopped for a moment, but when she thought that he was calm, he started shaking again. So, she got on her knees beside him and started shaking him hard.

"Booth, wake up, it's just a dream, please just wake up. It's me, Bones."

And out of the blue he opened his eyes. She started smiling, until she realized that he was looking right through her, as if he couldn't see her. And what she saw in them scared her to death. There was hate in those eyes. His eyes were full of despair, sadness, but what she saw the most was the hate.

Without knowing what happened he attacked her and she fell on the floor, banging her head on the side table in the process. In a matter of seconds she was pinned to the floor, powerless, beneath the FBI agent, who had his knee on top of her and his big hands around her neck…

"BOOTH" Her shouts were now mere whimpers and she knew she wouldn't be able to breathe for very long. Surprisingly she was thinking not about herself, but her partner, who was going to wake up to a dead women next to him, and would never forgive himself for doing that to her. She started crying silently, since the power to use her voice was long gone. But even then she managed to whisper:

"Booth, please don't hurt yourself too much over this. I know you would never hurt me. Booth."

And with that she passed out and he woke up. And what he saw broke his heart into a million pieces.

"Bones. Bones, what's happening? Bones are you ok?" As soon as he realized what he was doing he let go of her neck, and picked her up from the floor, only to lay her down in his bed. She was unconscious, and her breathing was shallow, but after her first gasp it started to become regular.

He was already calling for an ambulance when she woke up, barely strong enough to open her own eyes. She touched her neck realizing that by the pattern of the bruising that her hyoid bone had barely escaped intact, but that fact allowed her to live. She was grateful.

"Booth." She rasped, her voice not sounding like her own. Her head felt heavy and was hurting badly, but she knew she wouldn't need any specific medic care. She only needed rest.

"Bones, Bones are you feeling alright?" He was taking care of her, making sure she was comfortable, that her pulse was stable, but he was avoiding looking her in the eyes, touching only her wrist.

"Booth."

"You should try to lie down and rest. Do you think you should drink something? To make you throat less dry?"

"Booth."

"Bones, look, I should just take you to a hospital, you should be checked out, only God knows what could have happened what I could…" His voice broke. He couldn't even imagine what made him do what he did, and we could never forgive himself for hurting her like that. He had become his father. And now he couldn't even look at her, because it hurt too much. So he settled to sit next to her, looking at his hands on his lap.

"BOOTH" She tried as loud as she could, which wasn't loud at all, but it was enough to get his attention. She sat slowly in the couch, and reached for his face. With her hand she made him look at her. She just wanted him to understand, to believe that this wasn't his fault, but that he had to deal with it in order for it not to happen again.

She saw the sorrow in his eyes, the extreme sadness, and the sense of failure. So she spoke willing him to believe "You would never hurt me Booth. We both know it. What happened was an accident and it happened because I tried to wake you up in the middle of a nightmare. You are a good man Seeley Booth. Don't doubt it, please. I need you to believe it."

Their eyes locked and he knew she really meant it. He knew she would never blame him for the bruises that were now a violent shade of purple, for the cut in her head that was surrounded with dried blood, for the almost suffocating her to death part.

But the understanding only made him more aware of what he almost done. He almost killed her. He almost killed his Bones. With his bare hands no less. He wasn't worthy of her understanding, of her forgiveness. He shouldn't even be allowed to be near her, not after that incident. His hands were shaking and her hand in his face almost burned. She shouldn't touch him. She shouldn't be alone with him. He couldn't hurt her again, the mere though almost made his heart stop. No, he had to get away.

He jerked away hastily, and her hand fell to the mattress. In his eyes she could see the anguish, the hurt. She could see him blaming himself. She could see him pulling away. She could see him already leaving.

"Booth, please, don't go. I need you here, please don't leave me here alone, don't go." She almost begged, not caring that it was the ultimate sign of weakness. She needed him to understand.

He looked in her eyes intimately for what he believed it would be the last time "I'm so sorry Bones. I'll forever be sorry."

And with that he ran. He barely had time to realize that he was wearing nothing more that sweatpants and a t-shirt, which was too little that early in the morning. But he couldn't care less. As if he was running from hell itself, he went full speed until he could feel his calf muscles aching from the exertion, and his breathing labored from the cold air. Even then he didn't stop, wanting to feel the pain. After what he had just done he deserved it, every single bit of pain. He ran for almost two hours, not really paying attention to where he was going, until he reached a familiar part of town. He looked a few housed down and there it was, exactly as it had been so many years ago.

He was home.