As It Was and You Were
Chapter Thirteen
Deck the Halls With Kerosene
Jacob frowned at Lily. "Running?"
"I know exactly what you've been up to,"
"How exactly do you know what is going on?" he smirked at her.
"Have you heard of a little thing called Eclipse?" Lily crossed her arms in a condescending fashion.
"Yeah it's my name on the forum… Hang on a second how do you know?"
"Haven't we already been over this part?" Remus waved his hands confusedly. If that is a possible gesture. Try doing that.
"Yeah," James agreed.
"No I don't thing so," said Jacob scratching his nose.
"Well, in my honest opinion, I feel that we have been over this. You see, Jacob has already asked Lily once how she knew information about him. He has once again, proceeded to ask the same question in a different context. All in all, we've been over this," Sirius had pulled his bubble pipe out of his pocket again and was puffing away happily.
Lily looked annoyed. Walked over and snapped the pipe in half. Sirius was shocked. He shook himself out of it and reached for another one and… put it back for the author feels that there as been enough playful banter going on. Sirius reached up to the sky and gave the author the finger.
"Same to you," a big booming voice echoed out of the heavens.
"Oh fudge off," Sirius grumbled. The group turned to look at him. Where had Sirius poncy attitude gone? "I mean… I say what a terribly rude person that was.
"OK. So we've established that we've been over this. Now in a nutshell; you're here, it has caused a rip in the space-time continuum causing your universe to end up clashing with ours- I mean there is no freaking way our vampires sparkle in sunlight and our werewolves can change of their own free will. You sure live in a poncy universe,"
"Well I'd have to say it sounds utterly marvellous," said Sirius actually listening for a change.
"Of course that'd be right," muttered Remus. Sirius didn't appear to have heard him, but he did and was now plotting his death… in a happy, friendly way.
"Anyway. We have knowledge that your world is fictional and so know the titles of the fictional works. Soon you will obtain that knowledge as well,"
"Oh yeah," Jacob looked up to the sky as if looking at an invisible television screen. "But wait… these books aren't going to be published for another like… twenty years or something,"
"Must I repeat myself again?"
"Well usually when you repeat yourself you have to do it again," said James.
"Shut up. Space. Time. Continuum. It's not just space. It's time. By the time we get rid of it it'll be like it never happened,"
"My only question is," Jacob looked around at the group and they all listened intently in anticipation for what his mind-blowing question would be that would lead them to the resolution of this mystery. "Why would I be brought here if I was going to create a rip in the space-time continuum?"
Thunder boomed and multitudes of grey clouds swooped over Hogwarts. Strong winds whipped up and lightning forked down to the ground. One bolt hit the middle of the circle and blinding sparks… sparkled. The thunder boomed once more and the clouds and wind retired to cloud and wind staffrooms. Dumb idea I know, but it's real.
Where the lightning had struck lay a single envelope, that didn't look damaged in any way. On the front it had cursive writing in red ink:
And now… a message from your author.
"What? We have an author?" James asked.
"No way. Our universe is completely real," Remus shook his head. The Quileute werewolves all snorted in disbelief. The others all frowned at them to be quiet.
Lily cautiously approached the envelope and reached down to pick it up. Everyone watched in fascination. She turned it over and lifted the edge. The pulled out a piece of paper that was folded in half. She unfolded it and began to read aloud.
"Jacob you were brought here…" Everyone gasped in anticipation.
"To give Remus dating advice?!" Everyone looked around incredulously. "What the puck?" They all looked to Remus. He just sort of smiled and shrugged.
"Me give him dating advice? I created a rip in the space-time continuum to give him dating advice? Me? Who can barely hold down a girl as it is? You're pucking goading me aren't you?" he screamed at the sky.
"No I'm not" Lily read the newly formed words on the page.
"Oh you're pucking joking!"
"Apparently not," Lily read aloud some more.
"I want out! Get me the hell out of here!" Directions began to form on the page in Lily's hand.
"It says here we have to make a sacrifice of the source of the power and chant the following words… which aren't there," Lily looked up from the page. "What is the sacrifice?"
Look in your bag.
The words formed on the page as if written by an invisible hand. Lily reached into her bag and drew out a black book that had hands holding an apple. 'Twilight' was written at the top.
"Looks like you've got your sacrifice there," Remus gestured.
"And we sacrifice it how?"
"What about like this?" James held up a cigarette lighter.
"Where'd you get that?" asked Remus.
"On the ground," he shrugged.
"Look the words. They have to be chanted by the ones who don't belong while we burn the book,"
"Hey as soon as the book is burnt will everything go back to normal?"
"Dunno. Remus go away incase you go all bitey on us,"
"OK. I see where you're coming from," Remus nodded as he backed away. Then he ran. He ran and didn't stop running.
"So the words are here," Lily held the paper up to the group so they could read them.
Dominae dominae dominae dratus.
The Quileute tribe began to chant, Jacob crossed his arms, pouting and mumbling the words. Lily held the book between forefinger and thumb whilst James held the lighter beneath. He clicked it and the flames began to engulf the book. Lily dropped the book into the hole the lightning had made. It continued to burn. The Quileutes began to flicker like a broken picture on a television. Jacob stopped chanting for a few seconds.
"Bella Swann is a douche!" he yelled then they flickered out.
"Well I say. This has been a quite eventful evening. However I should be getting onto moon type business," he ran away to where Remus had disappeared.
Lily and James were left by themselves with Peter nowhere to be found. "So you don't feel that it amounted to nothing?" James asked.
"No way," Lily laughed. "I got to burn a book,"
"Yeah. I'm bloody tired. Go back?"
"Yeah alright," Lily laughed aloud again.
"You see Peter?"
"Nah. Sorry,"
"Probably fell into a hole," They continued on their way.
"So Remus needs advice?"
The two didn't hear a little voice calling from a hole a few hundred metres away. If you stood at the edge and looked down you would see Peter Pettigrew scratching at the edges for a way out.
"Guys?" he still remains there to this day.
I freaking wish.
Hello all. Took me awhile but I was suffering from a major case of writer's block. It sucks. Well I've finished and the Twilight crossover has finished! About bloody time if I may say so. Well do inform me of your thoughts on the story so far. Maybe you have suggestions as to where the story could go? Please tell me. Cheerio all.