Author's Notes: I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!! I meant to have this chapter posted before we left LA, but it just didn't happen. H and I have been on the road for about a month now, never in one place for more than a few days at a time (x-country move, visiting both sets of parents, Otakon, Wildwood, NYC...) – at one point, I drove 19 hours straight! Seriously. -- The good news is that we're now settled into our new house in VT (still unpacking) with regular internet access again, so updates should resume in more timely intervals. I hope you'll all forgive me for the delay.

I am floored by the response to the last chapter and want to thank my reviewers:

Snowdragonct: I'm so glad to hear from you again! I want to thank you because reading the updates of Witness Protection while on the road at various motels really kept my spirits up when I wasn't able to work on my own story. I think that Duo/Trowa's friendsip is often neglected in fanfiction, so I'm glad you and everyone else enjoyed the PBJ scene. I really spend time trying to place myself in each character's shoes so that their behaviors and reactions are realistic, even when they are painful or awkward as well.

Roninlvr: Please don't feel badly, because I could never be mad! I know how busy life can get and I feel honored that my story can keep you company even if you don't have time to review every chapter. The weaving of the story will continue all the way through Endless Waltz and the final Preventer mission as detailed in Episode Zero, but it certainly won't end there. ;)

Kaeru Shisho: Okay, I admit it, you caught me! This next chapter is one of the chapters I conceived originally when I first started this story so many months ago. Teehee. And don't worry, Heero and Duo will probably never stop trying to one-up each other because that's part of what makes them so attracted to each other!

Heeroduoyaoilover: Forgive me! I never meant to leave you hanging at such a place! I will try my best not to do it again!

Misakaida: Your wish is my command! offers new chapter

Irenthel: I'm flattered by your praise and happy to continue offering more treats because I'm nowhere near finished!

Caedi: I admit that the amount of time involved in scripting and outlining is grueling, but I couldn't imagine writing this story any other way. You'll be seeing Quatre, at least, begin to catch on to Heero & Duo not in this chapter, but in the next. And, this may come as a surprise based on what you wrote, but I'm not planning to stop writing when I reach episode 49. This story will continue through the year between the series & Endless Waltz, through the 4 months between EW and the last Preventer mission and then on to true peacetime. I hope that news made your day. ;)

Only a few episodes left in the series… but don't worry, I think it's just starting to get tasty!

To everyone reading this story that's stuck by me – thankyouthankyouthankyou. I'll never be an uppity author that doesn't appreciate each and every last reader, because the more GW love out there, the brighter a place this world is. Wishing you all a blissful end of the summer.

Chapter 18 – Surrender (Episode 44)

Quatre sat frozen in place, watching as the other Gundams prepared to leave the hangar, his hands clammy and his throat dry. "But I… How will I…?"

If I can't lead us, then we're all going to die.

The other four pilots had already departed and Quatre shook himself out of a panic long enough to follow them just as Heero's image appeared on his monitor. "Heero!" Does he really expect me to do this?

"Epyon's on the way," Heero responded briskly as Wing Zero pulled away from the rest of the group. "The rest is up to you."

"We'll take care of them!" Duo's image popped up to answer him with a grin before taking off in the opposite direction, oblivious to Quatre's dilemma.

Helpless as he watched his friends begin to repeat yesterday's mistakes, Sandrock sat motionless in space as Quatre begged them feebly. "Hang on! From a strategic point of view, Heero has to fight Epyon. We need our own strategy!" Altron and Heavy Arms came up alongside Sandrock, but a moment later, they had both shot off into space as well. "Wu Fei! Trowa!"

I keep asking them to have a strategy, but who am I expecting to come up with one? Quatre winced as he watched Wu Fei take a hit that sent him spinning, and Trowa was a blur as he moved in and out, firing so rapidly that he was certain to run out of ammunition long before the fight had ended. "Wu Fei! Move back for now!"

"Why should he?!" Duo's voice came over the monitor as he raced to Wu Fei's defense. "I'll back him up!"

"Duo!" No one's listening! Everyone's getting hit! We'll never last at this rate! "We're not getting anywhere!" The lights flashed on the monitors so quickly that Quatre almost felt like his eyes couldn't keep up. It was hard enough to fight the dolls alone, but trying to account for the actions of the other Gundams as well? "We've gotta get in formation!" So caught up in watching the others, Quatre didn't see the doll headed towards him until it was too late. As he braced himself for impact, Noin's suit came into view, taking the hit for him, and he wondered why she was trying to protect him, as if he was their leader.

But…maybe I am.

Maybe…I have to be.

This isn't working. We're gonna get totaled!

Quatre's hands were shaking as he reached to type in the letters.

Z and he was watching the resource satellite explode under fire, taking his father's life with it, he was screaming and helpless—

Eand Vayeate was crackling electricity in space, Trowa's image flickering in and out on the screen, and it was his fault, he'd hurt him, Zero had, he had, he'd built it –

R and he was helpless again, watching as Zero possessed Trowa, begging, pleading I couldn't bear losing him again – I won't lose him again!

His friends, his dear, brave co-pilots – they were being surrounded, attacked – they would be obliterated unless he, unless he I'm not helpless!

O

Quatre took a deep breath as the Zero System engaged, the monitors flashing a bright, blinding gold, and let go.

"Wu Fei! Fly right through the enemy troops! The rest of us will direct fire to where Wu Fei was!"

"Quatre?!" Duo asked, his eyes widening as if he sensed that something in his friend's demeanor had changed.

As he scanned the battlefield, Wu Fei immediately recognized the superior strategic intelligence in Quatre's command and complied almost instantly.

Not giving anyone room to argue with him, Quatre gave the next command as they were all firing. "The enemy's divided into a number of units. Now's our chance to defeat those units one at a time! Trowa, attack the troops on the upper right! Then destroy the front unit, Duo and Wu Fei!" The other pilots verbally gave their confirmation and suddenly, with Quatre's direction, they were fighting as extensions of one entity.

Heero was right. He… he knew they would all listen to me if I took command. They were winning easily now, working together to eliminate the teams of dolls despite their shielding, but Quatre could feel the Zero System stretching him, creeping into his mind, playing games with his memories, his heart, whispering doubts and threatening to own him again. No! Everyone's counting on me! "I can't let the system control me. There's no choice now but the master it!"

I will choose my vision for the future! As he continued to call out commands, Quatre saw that the patterns in the doll's movements had changed and wondered if he was starting to lose it. How is this possible? "The movements of these mobile dolls aren't just programmed! Someone's changing their tactics based on the actual battle." Every strike they made now was being countered, but still the other pilots were following his cues. He couldn't let his commands lead them into further peril. "I must predict them!" Falling back for a moment, he watched the monitors, ignoring the commands Zero urged him to make. "Someone's controlling these mobile dolls!" I recognize this style… these moves…

With a sudden epiphany, Quatre realized who was behind the controls on the other end – realized it in the same heartbeat that he realized that without his own wits, even the Zero System wouldn't be able to fight it. It's only the best strategist I've ever met besides myself… "Dorothy Catalonia!"

"What did you say?" came Duo's voice over the monitor.

"Duo, take point, aim for the left set, above!" Quatre replied, knowing there was no time left for explanations. "Trowa, cover him when he goes in! Noin, help me cover Wu Fei – we'll go for the one below and break their line for good!"

As the commands finally broke through the wall of dolls, a flicker in the corner of the screen caught Quatre's eye and he gasped sharply.

"Quatre?!" Heavy Arms was suddenly right beside him, Trowa's concerned face in the monitor, and Quatre shook his head sharply, opening a line to the bridge of Peacemillion.

"Careful! They're going to try shooting down Peacemillion!"

"They're what?!" Howard bellowed as Sally yelled at him in the background to dodge.

"Everyone get out of here!" Quatre commanded, heading as far out of Libra's range as he could, with Trowa right beside him.

"Libra's firing their main weapon?!" Duo's eyes were wide and incredulous as he swung Deathscythe around, but sure enough, the light in the center of the cannon was on and the ship was approaching rapidly. There was nothing they could do to save Peacemillion.

Dorothy watched as Libra's cannon clipped the edge of Peacemillion while Quatre and the other Gundams escaped and knew that Zechs was going to very, very displeased. It wasn't meant to happen this way… this wasn't how I planned it…

"HOWARD!" Duo's voice seemed to echo down the corridors, his braid bouncing against his back as he sprinted towards Peacemillion's command center, his heart hammering in his chest. Skidding to a stop just inside the doorway, he took a sharp and relieved breath when the old man's head appeared from behind a heavily sparking console, a bundle of wires clenched in his hand.

"Duo!" Howard greeted him with the wave of his free hand, happy to see him but unable to hide the strain of the day's events in his face. "Everyone's docked except Heero, but he should be here soon."

"And the crew?"

"No casualties – just a few impact injuries that Sally's attending to as we speak."

"Good… that's really good." Duo collapsed into the nearest chair with a whoosh, hanging his head so that his bangs covered most of his face, just as Quatre appeared in the doorway behind him.

"Howard, how long do we have?"

"Once we're sure the ship's stable," Howard gestured to the sparking console in front of him, "We'll prioritize the Gundam repairs – but even that's going to take a minimum of 14 hours judging from initial damage reports. After that, if there's time, we'll start other ship repairs."

Quatre had already done some rough calculations of his own about the overall time table and nodded in agreement. What I need to know is how the other side fared… was using the Zero System the right thing to do? In saving us, did I doom Peacemillion? "Tell me, just how badly did Libra damage itself with that blast?"

At that question, Howard actually smiled a little. "Let me put it simply – they won't be going anywhere anytime soon."

"Asshole," Duo muttered under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It wasn't actually Zechs that gave the command to fire, Duo," Quatre said, reaching out to touch the braided pilot's shoulder lightly, a little surprised at his behavior. "And seeing as he called a for a retreat moments thereafter, I don't think we're in any immediate danger. With Treize's troops assembling on the satellite, he doesn't have any time left to dally with us. I really think that when the next battle comes, it will involve everyone…" He took a deep breath of resignation before admitting the truth out loud, surprised again when Duo flinched underneath his hand as he spoke. "And I think it will be the last."

"I agree with every bit of your reasoning, Quatre," Howard responded as he twisted some wires together and shoved them back underneath the console. "The Gundams will be ready in time, I promise--"

"But your crew!"

"Can handle one more sleepless night if we work in shifts," Howard defended. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Quatre and Duo's concerns, but he wished that sometimes they'd have a little more consideration for themselves. "You pilots need to get some rest." He shook his head sharply when Quatre opened his mouth to argue. "And that's not a request - it's an order from the captain of this ship! I don't want to see any of you working on the Gundams all night long. Let us do our jobs so that you can do yours.""

Duo lifted his head at this remark, shrugging off Quatre's hand as he stood up and gave Howard a small smile. "Thanks, Howard. For everything, really."

When Duo turned and nearly ran from the room a moment later, Quatre nodded at Howard once more before following him. It was obvious that something was bothering Duo and he jogged down the corridor to catch the braided pilot before he turned the corner. "Duo! Hey, Duo!"

Duo sighed inwardly as he heard Quatre's voice behind him. Even when you don't want to talk, Quatre just has this way of poking at the cracks until you can't help but spill everything out. And I just… I just can't right now. Turning slowly, he greeted his friend with a small, but genuine smile. "Yeah, Quatre?"

What do I say? If I ask if he's okay, he'll tell me he's fine, but I know that's not the truth. "Thanks for… for following my lead," Quatre finally offered, cringing a little inwardly at how lame it sounded.

Raising an eyebrow, Duo crossed his arms over his chest and studied Quatre, not fooled at all. "Your commands… they made sense, felt right…really, you probably saved us all."

Quatre knew Duo was just diverting attention away from himself, but he was so smooth about it that Quatre felt it would be rude not to acknowledge his statement just so that he could press him for what was really wrong. It was just like their conversation while en route to Peacemillion – where he'd spilled his entire story to Duo, who had listened attentively, but never given much away himself. "Don't flatter me…"

A few minutes behind his friends, Trowa heard their voices and stopped to listen before he turned the corner. I don't want to eavesdrop, but I don't want to interrupt them either. Really, he had noticed quickly upon getting his memory back that Duo and Quatre had formed a close friendship and while he was trying not to feel bothered by it, for some reason he couldn't quite place, tiny trickles of jealousy kept rising up in him. Stuffing those feelings down, he strained to hear what they were saying only to realize that the conversation was nearly over.

"Don't flatter me – I just did what needed to be done."

"People should flatter you more, Quat," Duo's voice returned lightly, along with the sound of footsteps. "You'll always be the one that brought us all together. I'm going to get some rest, okay?"

There was a long pause before Quatre's voice, softer than before, responded. "Sure…"

Trowa leaned against the wall with a frown until Duo's footsteps had faded, knowing Quatre was just steps away from him, but didn't know he was here. I should try and talk to him. He'd wanted to talk to him the other night, but after being caught hovering outside Quatre's door, he'd completely blanked and bailed. Did he want to talk to me that night too? Or was he leaving to go find Duo to talk to? Why does he reach out to Duo… and not to me?

When the second set of footsteps started up, Trowa followed them at a distance, tailing the blond back towards the hangar where the Gundams were under repairs, determined not to lose his nerve this time.

o/ I see you in the crowd
A million people loud
You try to hide but
Something make you call out /o

Wing Zero hadn't sustained too much damage in the brief fight with Epyon, so upon returning to Peacemillion, Heero immediately started the repairs without bothering to wait for Howard's crew. It was an automatic decision, really, when looking at the upcoming battle. Wing Zero had to be in perfect condition to keep Epyon from attacking the other Gundams. It's absolutely necessary… Heero thought to himself as he walked carefully down one of Zero's arms to replace several burned out circuits near the elbow. I really don't believe that either side fighting is in the right, but the Gundams have to make sure that Libra doesn't destroy the Earth.

Thinking of Earth made Heero feel strongly melancholy and he found himself wishing he had been able to appreciate it more during the time he'd been there. Somewhere underneath his dedication to the mission, he did think he'd enjoyed the days he'd spent on Earth – at Sanc Kingdom, reading in the library, driving across the European countryside with Trowa… and especially the days he'd spent masquerading as a student with Duo. In some way he couldn't define, he felt that those days at the school - going to classes, touring the aquarium, playing basketball – had kept him from feeling like he was completely alone in this mess. Indeed, the strength of the bonds he'd grudgingly formed with the other pilots, the bonds that had kept him grounded through the internal wars with Zero, were all thanks to Duo. Had he not wheedled his way in during that month, I don't know that I would have given them a chance. I don't know that I would have made the same decisions I made…

Heero ground his teeth as he realized that he'd been sitting in front of the re-wired circuit board, staring at it vacantly for far too long. How had he even gotten back to thinking about Duo again? The beginning, middle and end of all causes for distraction. All causes lead back to Duo.

"Hey, Heero! I think you must have missed the message!"

Heero glanced astride to see that Howard was standing ion the platform, waving at him. "What message is that, Howard?" Heero asked, wondering how long the old man had been standing there watching him space out, and mentally kicking himself for looking like an idiot.

"I told all the pilots that I don't want them working themselves to bare bones all night. I don't mean to be a babysitter, but Sally thinks you all need to get some rest."

Heero nodded thoughtfully, sliding carefully down Zero's arm and landing gracefully back on the platform beside Howard. "I agree with her assessment and have every intention of doing just that as soon as I finish up here."

Howard tilted his head down to look over the rims of his glasses and meet Heero's eyes. "You really don't have anything more important to do? No… unfinished business?"

Glancing away and crossing his arms over his chest, Heero hesitated noticeably before answering. "I don't mind leaving the body repairs to your crew, but I have a few more circuit boards to re-wire. I can't trust just anyone to re-wire them--"

"I'll handle it personally."

Heero's eyes widened a little and he turned his head sharply back towards Howard, but the old man had already reached to push his sunglasses back into place. "Howard, I--"

"Go on, get out of here," Howard shook his head, taking a step towards the console Heero had been running the damage reports on.

"…thank you," Heero finally mumbled with a nod of his head. He glanced up at Zero awkwardly for a moment and then turned to walk away. Unfinished business… The phrase immediately brought to mind how Duo had fallen asleep on him the night before while he was probably mid-sentence. Should I go find him?

"Oh, and Heero!" Howard called after him, pausing until the pilot had glanced back over his shoulder with the questioning raise of one eyebrow. "It's a great night for star-gazing."

o/ I gotcha falling hard
You make me drop my guard
We try to fight it
But something's written in the stars /o

With his hands folded under his head and his legs crossed at the ankles, Duo lay on his back, trying to lose himself in the endless tapestry of stars that was outer space. It was far easier to get out onto Peacemillion's hull than the colony's and after artfully dodging Quatre, he'd decided that if he really wanted to be alone to think, this was the only place to go.

Or so he thought.

Duo hadn't gotten very far at all with the untangling of his feelings before Heero's head, enclosed in a spacesuit helmet just as his own head was, appeared in his line of sight, upside-down and rather bemused. "It's dangerous to sleep out here," he intoned in mock seriousness. "You could run out of oxygen...or fall off."

"I wasn't sleeping!" Duo retorted immediately, pulling his arms out from under his head and sitting up quickly as Heero took a seat beside him. "And I'm not that clumsy!"

Heero turned towards Duo and gave him a small, but sincere smile. "Then it must be the view."

Duo tried to think of something to say in response, but Heero had already fallen onto his back with no invite necessary, mirroring Duo's original stance, and after a moment, Duo joined him. Why is he here? How did he find me? Duo's eyes flicked towards Heero, but he couldn't quite see his face from the angle they were laying at due to the curvature of the helmets. It seemed like a really strange thing – to be laying on the outside of the hull with Heero, staring silently at the stars – and yet Duo didn't feel pressured to defend or explain or even to talk. He'd always felt comfortable around the other pilot, even back during their first night at the school together, when they'd broken into the vending machines and... Duo's thoughts trailed off as he felt his cheeks get hot. We were so honest that night – we both dropped our guards, as if there was no choice but to connect. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but they'd both spilled what was in their hearts that night. He wanted to be able to do the same thing now and suddenly the words were tumbling out of his mouth as if he had no control over them at all.

"I guess we're supposed to think we're lucky, right – lucky that wasn't the last fight, right?" He chuckled bitterly, shaking his head from side to side. "But I don't feel lucky." I feel… frustrated. sad. tired. "It's that moment before everything moves forward – y'know, those moments where time seems to slow down until it almost stops, then all of the sudden it zooms the fuck up and you wonder how you got left in the dust? It's like we've been stuck fighting the same battle over and over and over – and I feel like we're gonna be stuck here forever and at the same time, I know that… I know that eventually time's gonna speed up again and there will be peace…"

"It's what everyone is hoping for."

Is it worth dying for? Duo didn't voice this thought out loud, but he thought that maybe Heero could hear the echo anyway, for he picked up Duo's train of thought as if he had voiced the sentiment out loud. "But when you spend every day thinking it's your last, time doesn't seem to be the same constant it is for everyone else."

Duo nodded sharply in agreement. "I'll tell you this – looking back on the whole mess, I can't quite figure out how we started out fighting against Treize… and in the next few days, we're going to work WITH him to stop Zechs. Tell me how that happened!" As Heero started to turn towards him, Duo lifted his hand into the air and waved it dismissively, his voice gaining volume with every statement until he was shouting. "No, really, I don't wanna know! I don't wanna think about it anymore! This whole thing's such a goddamn convoluted mess! I just… I just want it to be over!"

There was a beat of silence following Duo's angry outburst before Heero spoke again, weighing his thoughts with every word. "I know you piloted Zero, Duo…" he started calmly, feeling strangely free to be all alone out in the void of space with the boy he couldn't seem to get out of his mind. "So I know the kinds of futures it must have shown you – and I know, I know better than anyone ever possibly could, how futile it all seems…"

Duo didn't respond, afraid that if he tried, his voice might give away the two tears streaking down his cheeks, but he moved his hands away from his head to curl into fists at his side. He absolutely hated to cry and this was the second time in as many days that he'd found himself trying to suck it all back inside.

"But ever since we met, Duo Maxwell, you've been this shining light in the darkness…" Heero couldn't believe he was saying these things out loud, to Duo, but somehow, someway, with the literal wall of both spacesuits and silence between them, he felt braver than he ever had in expressing himself. "You've always been this obnoxiously loud voice demanding that we work together and be a team and now you're… you're running and hiding. And I know, it's what you say you do best – but I have to wonder, all the sudden, what are you so scared of? There's the obvious, but you can't be scared of dying if you're the God of Death – so what is it? Why are you out here, avoiding everyone…" Avoiding me.

"I'm not scared of anything." Duo's words were short and clipped because Heero was so on the mark. Go ahead, ask me.

"Then why run? Why hide?"

Duo swallowed hard, blinking up at the blurry points of light. "I've lost a lot of people, Heero…" he started, trying to keep his voice light so it wouldn't crack. "I've learned not to get too attached to anyone because I never know when I'll lose them… or when they'll lose me." The truth was that as friendly as Duo acted, he really didn't let himself get close to people. "You're right – I'm not afraid to die. But I don't want to hurt anyone when I do because I know how fucking awful it feels to sit here and think that even if I don't lose my life in this next fight, that someone else might!" And that's the worst part… I want not to care, but I can't help myself.

"But you do care." How can we come from such different places and feel so much the same? Something ached deep in Heero's gut and he pushed himself into a sitting position, turning to look down at Duo. "I've wanted to believe for so long that I didn't care what happened to anyone, even myself, as long as the mission objective was met." You changed that. He couldn't bring himself to say it, but he hoped that maybe Duo already knew. "Duo… you don't have to be afraid of hurting me. There's nothing wrong with acting on your emotions and living the moments you've got."

"Hah! Pot, kettle, Yuy," Duo chuckled softly. "Am I really getting lessons on following your heart from Mr. 'Leave Me Alone And Stay Out Of My Way'? From the same guy who blew himself up when Dr. J said he was surrendering? From the same guy that held a gun at my head before deciding to rescue me? So, none of that was a crazed obsession with the mission? That was all just following your heart?" Duo could hardly hold back the laughter threatening to tumble out, but Heero seemed to take his teasing good-naturedly.

"I never claimed to be perfect," Heero leaned over Duo, not quite able to keep the smirk off of his face. "Other people just labeled me that way."

Duo laughed even harder at this remark, lifting one hand to swat at Heero's arm lightly. "Not me."

"But I did rescue you."

"You did." Duo couldn't hear anything but the pounding of his own heartbeat in his ears as Heero leaned closer, reaching to place one gloved hand on Duo's shoulder.

"This is the part where I'd lean down and kiss you…" Heero started softly. "Only there's two helmets in the way – and you can't blame that one on me."

"Hmm… my loss, then?"

"Only if you're determined to stay in hiding."

"I think you might have swayed me."

o/ I just can't shake this feeling
It's just like a bullet and it's killing me
Two hearts that need some healing
You know what you do to me /o

"It is possible that we could encounter him in the next battle," Wu Fei said seriously, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "But is he honorable enough to fight on the front line? That is the true question."

Bending down, he picked up a wrench while casually glancing around the hangar. The men working on his Gundam knew better than to get in his way, but if Howard caught him down here for a third time, he was quite convinced the old man might order him bodily removed. But I can't sleep at a time like this…not until Nataku is ready. The last battle had ended prematurely due to Libra's attack on Peacemillion, but Wu Fei was actually glad for it. While Zechs obviously needed to be stripped of his power, he personally didn't think that Treize was any better. Justice will see them both go down in flames…two birds, one stone… or one Gundam, as the case may be.

"This could very well be the last battle…" he mused thoughtfully, looking up at his mobile suit with a sad sort of affection. "But if these are to be my last hours, then I am grateful to have spent them with you, Nataku."

"Who are you talking to?"

Wu Fei spun quickly at the question, clenching the wrench tightly in his fist as he lifted his chin defiantly, only to realize it was Sally walking towards him. "No one," he replied simply, turning back to face his Gundam.

Sally stopped a few paces from where the Chinese boy stood, his posture rigid, and tilted her head in curiosity. "I would think you were talking to yourself, but you don't seem the type," she grinned even though he couldn't see it. Teasing Wu Fei had become a favorite pastime of hers, especially since it was obvious that he made no efforts to socialize with the other pilots or anyone else aboard Peacemillion. She liked to think she was slowly chipping away at the wall of stone he kept so firmly in place, but it was often hard to tell. "And I thought I heard you say Nataku." She paused as he flinched visibly. Hit. "It's a beautiful name, but I thought your Gundam was called Altron?"

Wu Fei knew that Sally meant well and cared sincerely for all of the pilots, but that didn't mean he had any intention of spilling his sordid past to anyone and he disliked being probed about it. "It's… complicated," he said stiffly.

"Someone you once knew?"

"You might say that."

"A lover?" She knew it was a bold question, especially addressed to someone so young, but she'd always been rather brash and honest. Wouldn't be the first time my mouth has gotten me in trouble...and I might just be right. Wu Fei dropped the wrench with a resounding clang and turned around to walk the three steps until they were less than a hand's reach apart. His eyes were blazing with a passion that Sally had previously only seen him display in battle and it only intrigued her further. Hit again?

"I'm sure that…" Wu Fei started, his words sounding choked and forced. "…you are a very kind woman… but do not pretend to understand me, my past, my actions or my feelings about anything. You can't possibly comprehend any of it."

Sally watched him walk swiftly away down the platform, not really offended by anything he had said. After all, she hadn't made any claims to understanding how he felt, but that didn't mean she didn't have enough empathy to sympathize. But he's not the kind of boy… no, he's not the kind of man to want my sympathy. It seemed that no matter how he acted, her admiration for him only grew. "But he certainly didn't deny my question, now, did he?"

o/ Stuck in another life
I swear I've known you twice
If this is destiny
Time for us to roll the dice /o

Quatre felt deflated as he watched Duo walk away, but what was he going to do? Chase his friend down the hall and beg to know what was wrong? That would only push Duo further away, and Quatre felt so distant from everyone else as it was. Sometimes he felt as if some part of his empathy was irreparably broken and he was just misreading everyone around him. No, that can't be true or I would never have been able to see through Dorothy today.

With a heavy sigh, he started to walk, pausing momentarily at the door to the kitchen before shaking his head and heading towards the hangar. What he really wanted was an instrument to play, preferably a piano, but this was a battleship, not a conservatory. Music was one of Quatre's best methods for focusing when he felt out of sync with the universe around him… and he felt ill thinking that there was a high probability that he'd never again have the opportunity.

He made no effort to interrupt the crew at work on Sandrock, but climbed up into his cockpit, leaving the door open in case they needed his help with anything. Settling into the familiar seat, he brought up a special program, one that Rashid had secretly installed during the last set of repairs he'd done and Quatre had accidentally discovered not long after Trowa had gotten his memory back. We haven't even shared those peanut butter sandwiches… Pressing several buttons, he sank back into the seat and closed his eyes as strains of Debussy's Claire de Lune drifted hauntingly out of the speakers.

On the platform outside of Sandrock, Trowa could just barely hear the music over the sound of machinery, but it was enough to make his entire chest ache. He'd followed Quatre all the way here, hoping he'd come up with something to say to the blond, something that encompassed all the jumbled emotions he felt and thank yous he owed and promises he wanted to keep that he'd never even had the chance to make. If I turn and walk away, I'm only going to regret it… and I don't want to have nothing but regrets when it's all over. His mind made up, Trowa started the climb up to the cockpit with steely resolve in his eyes. "Quatre."

Quatre's eyes snapped open at the sound of his name so close and he was completely startled to see Trowa standing bent in the entrance to the cockpit. "Trowa…" he mumbled, his cheeks coloring slightly at having the focus of his thoughts walk in on his thinking. "I… do you… need me for something?"

Everything. Trowa stared at Quatre, trying to memorize the shape of his face, the color of his eyes, the fall of his hair – and then he started to speak, the words coming low and soft, first slow and then faster until it nearly all strung together. "I don't want to say 'let's start over' because… our beginning was poetic and not easily forgotten. But it's hard to just keep going when so much has changed. You've never been anything but compassionate towards me, Quatre… and I know I haven't always returned it in kind. But I meant to – believe me, I meant to – mean to!"

"Trowa, you don't have to…" Quatre started, his voice catching as he gazed at the taller boy in surprise, wondering where this sudden confession had come from.

"No, I want to – I should have already told you these things. I should have told you how brave you were to build the Zero System, and even braver to pilot it. I should have told you that I forgave you the instant you struck me down, but that I didn't understand your grief until I almost did the same to you." Trowa paused to take a breath, reaching out to grab Quatre's hand and squeeze it hard when the blond lifted it in another attempt to contradict. "No, please… let me finish. I know you used the Zero System today – I don't know why, but I could tell. And you were amazing. I was blown away. But you don't have to feel guilty. Not about its existence, not about me. There's nothing to forgive, Quatre!"

To say that Quatre was shocked would be an understatement, for he was certain that he'd never heard Trowa say so much all at once. Even so, tears flooded his eyes as he listened to his friend talk because the words reverberated within him so strongly. How could I not realize he felt so strongly? "Trowa, I… I'm sorry if I've been holding you at a distance. I'm not even sure if it was guilt over what happened to you or simply a fear of myself and… and how I feel about everything."

"How you feel…" Trowa murmured, dropping to his hands and knees in front of Quatre's seat, like a large cat ready to pounce. "What about how I feel? You know… you aren't in this alone." With every word now, Trowa was drawing closer and Quatre's hands curled into the hem of his shirt anxiously even as he leaned in himself. "I said it once and I'll say it again – I'm with you."

Quatre's eyes drifted closed as Trowa's lips met his, the first kiss light as a feather, followed by a second, a third until Quatre finally leaned into Trowa and kissed him back. Their eyes snapped open, noses bumping as they both pulled away. Trowa's eyes were wide and his cheeks were red, as if he couldn't believe what he had just said and done, and a moment later, he had backed out of Sandrock, flipping down to the platform with ease. Quatre nearly tripped over his own feet in his hurry to get out of his chair, worried that he might have somehow offended the other boy, but when he looked out of his Gundam, Trowa gave him a small bow before turning and walking smoothly away down the platform, his hands shoved into his pockets and a visible bounce in his step.

"As if I didn't have enough to ponder on…" Quatre leaned back in his chair with a grin and wrapped his arms around himself, closing his eyes as the music descrescendoed into silence.

o/ Everybody needs somebody
Reaching out, so take it from me
Everybody take this from me
Find the one surrender, give it away /o

o/ Over me
Something's coming over me
There's no telling what will be
But something's coming over me /o

Duo Maxwell was convinced that he had it really bad.

Walking down the corridors, he let Heero take the lead, unashamedly watching the curve of the other boy's ass in the black spandex and turning over Heero's earlier words. When he talked about acting on your emotions, was he really talking about me? Duo was all too aware that the upcoming battle could spell their doom, but if he had to pick one place to spend his last hours, it would definitely be with Heero. Preferably in his bed.

Duo bit his lip at that thought, stumbling a little and causing Heero to glance back at him with curiosity. "You okay there, Maxwell?" he teased lightly as they arrived at the door to his room.

"Just trippin' over my own feet, a little bogged down by that thing called gravity."

"Aren't we all…" Heero smirked in a way that made Duo's heart drop into his knees and then turned to open the door to the room, stepping inside and gesturing for Duo to follow him.

Stepping into the room, Duo pulled the end of his braid into his hand and stroked it nervously before pacing a small circle around the room. "So, this is it, eh? This could be our last night alive… sounds so melodramatic to say it that way, but wham-bam, there it is." He knew he was rambling, but he couldn't seem to stop himself, letting go of his braid to turn a chair around and sit on it backwards before curling his hands around the outside rungs on its back. "And I just want you to know that… that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Maybe it was accidental, or, well, maybe not since I did follow you in the beginning, but after all we've been through, there's no one else I'd rather… live out these last hours with – y'know, if they turn out to be the last hours, which I don't really have any way of knowing…"

"Maxwell." Heero was standing on the opposite side of the room, watching as the other boy chattered himself into further levels of anxiety. After coming on to me back at the school and having the balls to kiss me in public at the aquarium, now that we're alone, he's nervous? Heero had to purse his lips hard to keep himself from laughing at how adorable Duo was acting. He'd never seen the braided boy this flustered in all the time they'd known each other.

"Heh, sorry…" When he gives me that look of exasperation, it only makes me want him more. What if that's not what he meant? "So, ah, when we last left off…" Duo blushed sharply, wondering if that was too forward of a statement to make. I shouldn't be trying to remind him that he said he was going to kiss me. "I mean, I'm not trying to suggest anything, suggest we do anything…"

Is he ever going to let me get a word in? The more Duo jabbered and grabbed his braid to play with the end of it, the more Heero's eyes were drawn to those full lips until he just couldn't stand it anymore. Striding across the room, he reached to place a finger under Duo's chin, tilting his face up. "Duo!" Heero paused long enough to relish the cacophony of emotions in those startled indigo eyes before leaning in to kiss him softly.

Duo wound his arms around Heero's neck, leaning the chair forward on two legs as he kissed back, a slow groan escaping him as Heero's tongue traced along his lower lip demanding entrance. I would rather live in agony of never knowing when we might lose each other… than live in regret for having been too afraid to surrender to this moment.

Heero ran his tongue along Duo's lip, nipping once with his teeth as he wrapped his arms around the braided boy's back, dragging him up and over the back of the chair until it clattered to the floor. Duo wrapped his legs around Heero's waist, pulling their hips together with bone-jarring strength and nearly knocking them over. Even as they stumbled across the room in a jumble of arms and legs, Heero never stopped kissing Duo, plundering the other boy's mouth until he was light-headed. The back of his knees hit the bed and he sat down hard, finally breaking the kiss between them.

Now straddling Heero's lap, Duo wasted no time in grabbing the green tank top and yanking it over the other boy's head, tossing it aside before laying a line of kisses from one shoulder up the curve of Heero's neck. He didn't want this to be like the first time, when they'd been so overwhelmed by the moment, they'd hardly made it to the bed. He wanted to touch and taste all of Heero's skin this time and he sucked hard where Heero's pulse throbbed under his lips until he heard the sharp intake of breath that told him just how turned on Heero was. "I'd ask if you want me," he whispered into Heero's ear, rolling his hips forward again. "But I think the answer's pretty obvious."

Pushing Duo's shirt away from his shoulder, Heero met his eyes when he answered, to make sure Duo understood that there was not a hint of joking in his tone. "I do, and I intend to have you… if that's what you want as well." He let the fingers of one hand trail lightly down Duo's chest until he elicited a shiver. "Is it?"

Those eyes, those blue eyes that are so unlike any other color I have ever seen… "Y-yes…" Duo finally whispered, and the words were barely out of his mouth before Heero was flipping him off his lap and sideways onto the bed. Duo rolled to a sitting position and watched as the other boy stood and, his eyes locked with Duo's, slowly kicked off his shoes, his socks and then his shorts, freeing his growing erection. The braided pilot felt his own cock twitch in response and he reached out a single finger to touch it gently, looking up at Heero as if to make sure it was okay.

Heero nodded, squeezing his eyes closed as the single finger became two, then a hand wrapping slowly around him. There had been more than once in recent months that he'd touched himself while thinking of Duo, but there was no comparison when faced with the real thing. He felt his knees buckle when Duo slid his hand down and leaned in to cover the tip with his mouth, sucking gently. "Duo…" he hissed, burying his hands in the thick base of Duo's braid as the other boy began to lick and tease him, grinning and flickering those mischievous eyes up to see his reaction. Heero knew his self-control wouldn't last, and the moment he felt it start to slip, he pushed Duo away gently until the other boy was on his back, climbing on top of him and going immediately for the zipper of his black pants.

Duo licked his lips and watched with half-lidded eyes as Heero slid the rest of his clothing off before climbing on top of him and catching his mouth in another intense and lingering kiss. For someone who had rarely been close to anyone in his life, it was sensory overload for Duo to feel their naked bodies entwined and he arched up into the hands that had begun to trace patterns over his body. Heero dragged a line of kisses that was more than half tongue down the center of Duo's bare chest, diverting for a moment to capture a nipple as one hand strayed south, fingers just barely brushing the curls of hair. "Heeero…" Duo whined, squirming a little in protest.

"Can't take it as well as you give it?" Heero teased as he lifted his head to meet Duo's eyes, pleased at the flush on the lovely face.

"Like hell I can't!" Duo nearly spit back at him. A moment later, he thought he might have to eat his words as Heero lowered himself down and took Duo's aching cock into his mouth, pumping it slowly with one hand as Duo moaned loudly. Having that mouth wrapped around him had been the source of many a fantasy, but Duo found that nothing he had imagined could have lived up to the reality of the sweet torture and he just wanted more.

Heero could tell that Duo had about as much self-control as he did, so he wasted no time, reaching into the drawer beside his bed for something he'd been carrying around for awhile now. Squirting some of the lube onto his fingers, he leaned up to drop a soft kiss on Duo's lips, telling him softly and somewhat hesitantly, "Let me know if I'm hurting you." Watching the reaction on Duo's face, Heero slid one finger in, pausing when the other boy flinched and exhaled sharply. No amount of research could have properly prepared him for this moment, but he was determined not to injure the other boy.

"Keep going," Duo grunted, lifting his hips to give Heero better access to slide that finger slowly in and out. When one finger became two, he couldn't help the sharp yelp that escaped him and he reached one hand up to cuff Heero on the ear. "I won't break! Keep going!"

Heero obliged him, scissoring his fingers as he moved them in and out, biting his lip until Duo's eyes suddenly rolled back into his head with a mewl that reminded him of a kitten. "Duo…?"

Duo was panting now and he reached with both hands to grab Heero's face, dragging him close for a kiss. "Please, Heero…" he gasped. "Before I climb on top of you and do it myself!" Falling back onto the pillow, his body arched again when he felt those fingers withdraw. I want to burn it into my memory for as long as I live—Duo felt Heero start to penetrate him and unable to stand it any longer, he thrust his hips upwards to meet him, ignoring the burning feeling until he found the point where the fire became pleasure.

Lifting one of Duo's legs over his shoulder, Heero started to move, searching intuitively until they found a rhythm. It was all he could do to keep himself from coming immediately upon being engulfed in Duo's heat, but he refused to let go until he was sure he'd brought the braided boy just as much pleasure.

Duo wrapped one hand around his own leaking cock, stroking in time with Heero's thrusts as they became faster and faster. I'm close… Opening his eyes, he found himself caught in Heero's gaze once more, and that was enough to send him spiraling over the edge, bright spots of light in the black when he squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the heat that told him Heero was right with him. "Heero!" Heero collapsed on top of Duo, both boys panting breathlessly into each other's ears, and Duo reached to comb his fingers through the unruly dark hair of his lover while waiting for their heart rates to return to normal. I could die tomorrow with no regrets… but I wish that tomorrow would never come.


o/ It's time to surrender
'cause I can't remember
A love that was strong enough
To not run away
It's time to surrender
I'm giving into you
And you're giving into me
So give it away yeah /o