I've been gone for a while, right?

Well, now I'm back. No more school until January.

Consider me happy =}

I walk away from her as quick as possible as she calls my name in the background of my mind.

"Roxy! Hey!" she yells across the quad.

I keep on walking. I almost kissed Kyla. I have to be crazy, she's straight. I never wanted to fall for a straight girl, damnit.

As I walk and contemplate my recent insanity I run into someone because I'm looking down. After I fall on my ass I shake off the daze that I'm in and I start to help pick up the books the person dropped, "Look, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

The person touches my hand, "It's alright, Roxy, chill. What's the matter with you?"

I look up and it's Spencer so I relax and sit back down on my ass. I sigh and look into her eyes, "I just had the biggest urge to kiss Kyla."

Spencer's mouth drops, "Whoa. Ashley's sister?" she asks dumbly.

I tilt my head to the side, "Duh. That's why it's a problem. She's straight."

Spencer doesn't know how to react, "Um, wow. How long have you felt like this?"

I grab Spencer's books and stand up, "The feelings have been building for a while I guess, I just didn't wanna recognize it."

"Do you want to go somewhere and talk about it? Because we can do that." Spencer says sounding concerned.

I forget for a while that Spencer and I weren't talking. Right? That was what I remembered. But I could be confused. But I take her up on her offer, "Yeah, I'd like that."

Spencer smiles, "We could go to Ms. Vargas' class. She won't mind. She loves you to death, remember?"

Since I'm not that smart I have to find something to make up for it so I'm somewhat creative. In the beginning of the year I spent most of my time in the art room. "Okay. Let's do that."

Vargas gives me an easel and some fresh paper to paint on because she wants something nice for the classroom. I didnt know what to draw or paint but as Spencer and I started to talk I just started painting my emotions onto the blank paper. "I'm so conflicted. I'm upset about Lily but I'm so close to Kyla. I don't want it all, I don't. I used to be that girl but I don't wanna be here anymore." I sigh, "I do love Lily but I've had so much time to think about her cheating on me. It was just a kiss but... it hurts all the same you know?"

Spencer sighs as she works on her humongous 'A', "Yeah, I know how it is being hung up on someone."

I look down to her paper, "How's that going by the way?"

Spencer drops the pencil on the desk and looks up at me, "I don't know if it's going."

"With Carmen?" I ask confused.

Spencer sighs and hesitates, "Yeah. When I'm with Carmen I think of Ashley. I can't do anything without thinking about her. Everything reminds me of her. I just... I want her to be civil with me and Carmen together."

I wiggle my nose because it itches, "Ashley knows. She knows that you want to be with her. In her drunken stupor last night, we talked. She's so in love with you it's ridiculous. I mean, if she can get along with me and I'm her own worst enemy then there's no reason why you guys should get together. I shouldn't be telling you about love but there are strong feelings between the two of you. It isn't exactly fair to Carmen to be feigning for Ashley when you're with her."

"I know, I know," Spencer furrows her brow, "But she's so nice to me...sometimes."

I look at Spencer and away from the easel, "What do you mean sometimes?"

Spencer shrugs, "It's nothing really. I mean its understandable. When I talk about Ashley she gets fired up and I guess I talk about her a lot. Um, one time she punched a hole in the wall at her house. I told her parents that we were wrestling and it got outta control." Spencer half smiles.

"She's been violent with you?" I ask getting a little bit angry, "Here I was thinking she was a sweet, good girl for you."

"No, no she is sweet. She is good to me. She just can't control her anger sometimes, I mean she's never hit me before but I don't think she would. I really don't," Spencer smiles, "She cares about me, she wouldn't ever hurt me."

"As long as you're sure about that..."

Spencer nods, "I am."

"Alright." I pause, "I'm glad we're talking. I missed talking to you a bit. Just a little bit."

"Yeah," Spencer smiles, "It's nice to get different perspectives and we are definitely opposites."

I laugh and so does Spencer.

"What are you painting?" Spencer says standing up and looking at my artwork.

"I don't really know, I just keep going with whatever I started off with. And I don't even know what that was." I smile.

"Wow, it's amazing. Looks like a heart with a whole bunch of chaos spilling out of it. Then towards the right side of it looks happy again." Spencer turns to look at me, "Looks like an Ohio natives life."

I smile, "Yeah, looks like." We stare at it for a minute or two before I speak, "What do you think I should do?"

"Whatever makes you happy." Spencer says, "That's one thing you can always count on. Your happiness is super important now."

I sigh, "I think I should go visit Lily."

Spencer turns to look at me swiftly as soon as I said that, "I think it's a good idea."

I look at Spencer and she's smiling, "Thanks, I think if I can do that then when I come back I should know what I want for sure. I just wanna get all these questions out of my head, you know?"

Spencer nods, "I know." She looks back to the painting.

"Hey, Spence?" I say to her.

She continues to stare at the painting, "I love you. You'll figure it out. I'll help you. I promise."

She turns to me and she starts to tear up, "I love you, too." she smiles and hugs me.

I return the embrace.

Someone's voice speaks, "What the hell, Spence?"

Wonder whom that could be?

Odd.

Well, until the next chapter... =)