"-And then Tom became solid again and poor, poor Marvin became a book that talks, which I currently have in my cloak pocket. So, we now have living with us a younger version of You-Know-Who, a vampire, a werewolf, and an unspeakable blight upon nature, which is also known as Nettle. Any questions?"

Harry slowly raised his hand. "Yes, quite a few, actually..."

"Oh, Lovely! Shoot!" Elizabetha cheered.

"Where am I?" And how the hell do I escape so that I can tell Dumbledore that Voldemort is now alive and currently hanging out with an eleven year old girl and her friends?

"Hm... good question. Well, you see, where you are depends entirely on what you think of yourself, according to most of the sappy finding yourself novels I've read thus far. Just be confident in yourself and follow your passions, don't feel afraid of showing off your real self, and there you are. It also seems to help if you fall in love, or something like that."

"..."

"I'm guessing you want the more literal translation of the answer to your question?"

"Yes."

"My bedroom." Ah. There is no escape, then.

"I was afraid so. Ginny?" The red head met his gaze, surprise alight in her eyes. She had been staring at Voldemort.

"Yes?" She asked sweetly, giving him a dazed smile. She looked as surprised as he felt.

"Kill me." She flinched.

"Please do, Ginny." Voldemort added.

"Now now, people." Elizabetha started, her tone much like Hermione when she was about to go into lecture mode. Harry internally screamed in terror. "We can't kill him. People saw us bringing him in here, if he was suddenly dead or missing, the conclusion would be too obvious. If we are ever given a reason to want Harry dead, we'll do it in such a way that it is untraceable. I know lots of methods to dispose of someone silently, some of which are quite amusing and quite unusual. Don't worry though, Harry. As long as you never tell anyone about what really happened tonight, I won't have a reason to do anything. Yet. Okay?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"No. And if I am, you won't even remember."

"Huh?!"

"Obliviate." Harry slumped onto the bed, making Ginny yelp and Draco cackle. "I'll be needing you to take him back to Gryffindor common rooms with you, Ginny. Can you do that for me?" Elizabetha asked cheerfully, and Ginny nodded numbly, still a bit stunned.

Eleven minutes later Harry was safely in his dorm with fake memories in his head, and Tom Riddle and the three previous prisoners of Azkaban had been left in the Chamber of Secrets.

"I like her." Tom decided, when Elizabetha had gone. "I really do like her."

Elizabetha sighed happily as she bowed and slid into her spot on the bench, and Ginny squeezed in beside her, sighing for a completely different reason. She had pretty much given up on sitting with the Gryffindors ever again, to the confusion of her brothers.

It had seemed like yesterday was never going to end, and then BOOM. Breakfast.

She went from nearly being killed by an alarmingly charming diary, to being alive and kicking, despite that said diary still existed, now as a person, (With extremely good looks, might she add?) within the span of a few hours. One would think she'd feel a bit annoyed towards Tom afterwards, but no, all she felt was pity. He must have been terrified in the diary, to pull something like that in order to get out.

"Wait, don't tell me, weird night?" Blaise fake guessed as they settled, and Ginny giggled.

"You see right into my mind, Basil." Elizabetha quipped back.

"Blaise. And I certainly hope I don't, I'm trying to hold on to my sanity for a bit longer."

"Well let me tell you, it's useless in the long run. And I prefer Basil."

"Since when?"

"Since ten seconds ago."

Draco deemed this a good point to interject before all hell broke loose between the two, being as he was the one with a currently impenetrable armor of self-confidence. Hopefully. For his sake, Ginny thought.

"So, how's your family settling in, Liz?" He asked. It still occasionally surprised Ginny how non-jerk Draco usually was. She was still so used to Ron's tales... Not that they were all false, Draco definitely was a huge jerk, but he wasn't so bad once you got used to it. He's a smug, rich, rude ferret, but a tolerable one. She summarized to herself as Elizabetha answered, a bright smile on her face.

"Well so far they've taken up occupation in the Chamber of Secrets with Tom. I think Mikaela's having a bit of trouble adapting, he's been in Azkaban for as long as anyone can remember. Probably since it's creation. So I'm thinking it's a bit of a shock for him to finally be out. He keeps trying to bite Tom."

"Just Tom?" Ginny asked curiously, pulling a plate towards herself and adding a few strawberries to it. She felt like a bit of mischief. And hell, she deserved it. She'd nearly died just a few hours prior.

"Yeah. Apparently he doesn't like werewolf blood, he says it's sour, and he says that not even Ferid would bite a pixie." Some toast and jam was pulled onto her plate next.

"Who's Ferid?" This time it was Blaise.

"I have no clue. Another vampire, maybe? Honestly it's impossible to get anything from Mikaela, all he does when you ask about his past is start screaming "You! You-chan!" and throw a fit." Then she added peas... Why they were at the breakfast table she would never know, but they would be useful in the coming battle none the less...

"Where do you even know all these creatures from?" Ginny asked suddenly. It had never really occurred to her that Elizabetha knew an awful bunch about dark beings, for an eleven year old. And not just from the book standpoint - Elizabetha knew the strengths and weaknesses that weren't written down. The details. She spoke the languages, she spoke of dark creatures fondly, with affection, and whenever they were reading on the subject she would occasionally pipe up with "Oh! Oh goodness, do they seriously think that running water scares vampires? That's utter rubbish!" Like she was indignant for their sake.

"I grew up with them, in Azkaban." Ginny paused in the middle of loading some peas onto her spoon. That had been pointed in Draco's direction with utterly no reason.

"I- I must have heard you wrong. Did you just say... Azkaban?"

"Indeed. And don't you think I didn't notice where that spoon was pointed, Ginny dearest." Ginny ignored the last bit in favor of more pressing matters. A mistake, that was.

"...You grew up in Azkaban?"

"Yes. I must say, you are not too fast on the uptake this morning."

Oh Merlin. My best friend grew up in a prison?! How is she alive?! I thought everyone there was driven crazy by the dementors, and... and... wait... Nah, I can totally see this.

"That... explains way too much."

"Catch." A strawberry, taken from her plate by Elizabetha while she was busy having her entire view on life as we know it shattered and then crudely pasted back together by a blond eleven year old, hit her in the eye. It was shortly followed by additional ammo from all in their present group.

"Honestly, Weasley." Draco smirked. "We are Slytherins. We notice when someone's about to start a food fight and throw toast at our heads. And We. Strike. First."

Suffice to say, when Ginny walked to her first class that day, with Peter and Elizabetha high-fiving behind her, she still had pumpkin juice dripping from her hair.

They got her that night at dinner too. And they had mashed potatoes and vegetable stew with dinner.

She vowed to never get into a food fight with her friends again, for her hairs sake. Unless she could get Elizabetha on her team, because she's previously thought it was impossible to make it literally rain chocolate syrup, but apparently it wasn't, and that sounded like a damn useful spell to learn.

I just wanted to write something silly.

Thanks for the reviewing to the following: Toraach olhrmaxion and Rain. Also, Lily Evans, although I have yet to decipher your "Meh." And to answer your question, Toraach, no, Marvin is not dead. He is scared for his life and trapped inside a diary, frantically writing for help. And yeah, Tom is totally out. I freaking love Tom. This is going to be epic.

By the way, I do not own "Seraph of the End." Despite really, really wanting to. It's probably a good thing though, because if I did own it Mika would be wearing dresses and Shinoa would probably get eaten by a goat, because I feel no shame in admitting that I loathe her. Possible as much as Princess Zelda and people who ship Starfire and Robin. And that's a lot of loathing.

Please review, even flames are welcome! Byeeeeee!