It was at the driveway of my house when I finally allowed myself to break down completely. I didn't really understand why I always did this, I mean big deal I went to a new school today and no one liked me, partly because of me but why was I having a crying jag over it. It didn't make any sense. Or, maybe it did, in a sick twisted way.

It had been the last three or four centuries which had been the hardest, probably because that was when I started to fail, something I could never forgive myself for. I should have been there for them when they were in their time of need, but I was too late. They been telling me that it wasn't my fault for decades but I knew it was.

I hadn't let myself take on any death matters for a while now, not since the last failure. They said it wasn't my fault, that I only found out whenever it was too late, that no one could have saved him but it was my fault, and so where the rest of them. I was only with the Cullens for a while, and part of the reason that I was being so mean to them was because I was jealous. They had a family, and no duties that were tied to it, no responsibilites. They were free, and I wasn't.

I cried for hours before I think I just had no more tears left. I got ready for school then, curling my hair slowly to take up more time. I was late but I didn't care - school was just something there, part of the act. I jumped into my Porshe and started driving. When I got out, the Cullens were already there. Alice and Emmet looked at me in loathing, Jasper started swearing but what was worse was how Edward and Rose just didn't even awknowledge me.

I could feel the tears coming on but I blinked quickly, but even though it only lasted about a second, my guard went down and Jasper looked up at me for a moment as if in shock about something before I quickly pushed back my shields. He seemed to think he had imagined it or something but he was still suspicious so I acted as normally as I could.

In english, with Alice, I said nothing. I looked at her a few times but she only glared back. It was the same with Rose except she didn't even look at me. At lunch, I sat by myself, wishing I had brought my ipod or at least a book. A few times the Cullens looked at me but I kept my head low down, just staring at the table. In Biology, Edward just sat there. When we did a partnered exercise, he did it by himself, ignoring my attempts to do half of it. Even some of the students seemed to just ignore me, glare at me, and I knew this was because they were just copying the Cullens.

This went on for a couple of weeks before one weekend. I was in the forest, pondering life in general, just thinking about my philosophy and just how much had been wrong. I had been thinking that if you were immortal you had no friends, that you just couldn't - it was like a unspoken law. I knew now that it wasn't that.

It was me. I - There had to just be something wrong my mind, my body, what I was? But I knew I was just making excuses, it was just me in general. Everyone hated me because I was me. Sure, on the first day I had made a bad impression but they probably had based even more of a impression of me throughout the past few weeks. It was true that I had been recieving hate letters in my locker, but I was pretty sure they were just from a teenager.

It was then I smelt it - vampire, and fast approaching. It was obviously one of the Cullens, mid hunt. Come to think of it, I should have smelt the bear blood earlier. I could smell deer near me, to the east, so it was obviously them that the Cullens were hunting. As quietly as I could, I started to creep bacl to house when Rose saw me, "What are you doing here?" She sneered.

"Oh, well, you know. Shortcut to my house." I said, "What about you? Why are you here?" I asked cheerfully, hoping maybe if we talk she wouldn't hate me quite so much.

"Same." She answered. Okay, so she only said one syllable but maybe she would say more if I talked to her more?

"So ... um, how are you?" I asked her.

"Bye, Isabella." She said.

"Its Bella," I called after her but she had already gone. At least she had talked to me, I supposed. I lay on my unneccessary bed thinking about it. I wondered whether it was even worth trying to be friends with her, if didn't even have a conversation with me. Would I even forgive her for being so mean? But shouldn't I be trying to get to get her forgiveness for making her eat pizza?

It didn't make sense, and it was hurting my head. I went on my laptop, wondering what to do. In the morning I went to school, having decided I was going to take no more crap. I knew I wasn't going to be friends with them, that was obvious besides, who needed friends? Obviously, I didn't really need them, they weren't a necessity, were they? I asked myself uncertainally as I walked through the parking lot ignoring the glares.

"Look, if you have something to say, say it to my face or keep it to yourself because only cowards whisper among each other." I smiled at them before walking to my first class. "Hey Alice!" I whispered to her, nudging her in the arm.

"What?!" She snapped, glaring at me.

"If you hate me so much, say it. I don't care. Go ahead, you know you want to just as much as you wanted to say how you loved Jasper in the diner but you didn't because you thought it might sound stalker-ish." Okay, so low blow, but she was being a bitch to me so why should I be nice to her?

"How do you know that?" She asked shocked.

"Oh, I have my sources, and don't try to deny it." She was about to ask something else when the bell rang. I hopped off to see Rosalie! Even though I was being mean, I felt a bit of satisfation that Alice wasn't glaring now, but I suppose sticking the finger up at me doesn't really count as friendship. Who cares? Well, me sort of but, well, she didn't like me anyway so I suppose I might as well jsut give up.

"Hey Rose!"

"Its Rosalie to you."

"But all of your friends get to call you Rose."

"You're not my friend."

"Really because I recall a incident, in the past. Perhaps it was fifty-" the bell rang cutting me off. The next classes past slowly while I walked to the lunch hall. I had taken to sitting in a cubicle in the toilets at lunch, but not anymore. I was going to the lunch hall today.

I stepped inside, and everyone looked up. Wow, what a entrance. I mean it must be amazing to see a girl to walk in a lunch hall. It was then I got a phonecall, and not one I would have liked to have had in a cafeteria.

"Hello, Bella, how are the Cullens then?" My sister asked me. They all heard it. The Cullens turned round to look at me, staring at me weirdly.

"Er, Jane, not -"

"It must be so annoying having to spy on people you've already stalked-" OH GOD!

"Jane-"

SHe just continued, "for so long! Have they noticed you're not even alive -" OMG! OMG! She did not jsut say that ! They were staring at me! Oh my God! I was going to die now! Oh God!

"Please-"

"-and have no heartbeat or anything! I mean if they haven't they must be some stupid-"

"Can-"

"-vampires, huh! Plus, have they realised that - "

"Jane! Shut up!"

"Why? I mean they must have recognised you from before!" Now they looked confused, shocked and a little weirded out.

"Jane they're here!" I screamed down the phone.

"Oh. Well, I'll go then."

I ran. I ran to my car, and I couldn't help thinking that I was staring to be doing that a lot. The Cullens came after me but I didn't stop for the. I just drove as fast as I could go. But as I drove away, I gave one last sweeping glance at my old friends - Alice Brandon, Jasper Whitlock, Rosalie Hale, Emmet McCartney and Edward Mason, my old friends.