Chapter 16:

What did he mean by that? Is he talking about me? Can that really be? I mean… who else? He hasn't had a serious relationship at all, according to what that radio woman said… Then again, no one knows about me, and I can't name what we had as 'serious'… I need to ask my one reliable source about this; Bingley.

The next morning, everybody woke up to find her already with her coffee in one hand, and the morning papers in the other. Having the reputation for being the last on the breakfast table, everyone who cared suspected she hasn't gone to bed all night… Of course, there was Caroline who knew nothing and cared nothing about her.

"Good morning! Come sit, you must try the coffee here, it is absolutely amazing!" she greeted her sister and Charles. Soon William came down as well, perfectly dressed but with a face that showed little more sleep than Elizabeth's, except had the disadvantage of a taste from something it needed so much and couldn't have. The minute he came down Elizabeth instantly lighted a cigarette, as an unconscious reaction to the newfound stress, though she would never admit it.

"Oh Lizzy darling, will you put that out? There's no need to destroy a perfect morning such as this!" she smiled and got a chaste kiss from her lover, who appeared with two English muffins and a very goofy smile.

Last to come down was, of course, Wikham, by which time Elizabeth was already on the terrace, smoking and apparently shouting at someone on the other end of the phone connection.

"What's up with her?" he asked, when he noticed where his travel companion was.

"She excused herself for a 'split second' upon receiving a 'very important' call she's been 'waiting for all night'… That was thirty minutes ago." Caroline responded with everything but care or worry in her voice.

"She is a very busy woman, don't mind her. She is needed, she can't just leave others on their own, she is essential for things to be done.
It's a small sacrifice, but she is disciplined enough to make it, which I am sure will be of great use with any future children." Jane answered, looking into Wikham's eyes and with a hidden meaning everybody could understand easily. Of course, Elizabeth came back with the perfect timing, so the tension the previous statement could not rise to an unbearable one… just enough to ruin the 'perfect morning' for at least 2 of the 3 males present.

"I am so sorry, it was Marjory from Sydney, it seems there is some sort of legal issue in the office… I hope they can cope, my battery is down, I forgot to re-charge it…" Elizabeth was really anxious, but by the kindness of Charles she could entertain everybody in the car by giving them the chance to listen to her part in the conversation she had with Sydney… and many other places after it. They were heading to the coast, for some sun and waves, and relaxing at the presence of both.

"No, no, Steven darling you have to understand, it is no use… Let me finish! If we tell Hexal that we would rather… Of course not! What I want is… Yes, all right, I will talk to Acambis, they have an office in Cambridge… Call you when I know anything… Of course!... You're a dinky-di Aussie, never forget that!" Elizabeth was, still, on the phone, and the rest were packing out their bags from the car. Ashamed and exhausted, Elizabeth visited the coast after only leaving her bag and without unpacking.

She loved walking on the beach; it was calming, to hear the waves hit the soil and break, plunge forward picking up the stones and pebbles, making music from them that was magic to the heart and soul. She found a place for herself on one of the rocks, to sit and be awed by nature yet again…

He noticed she wasn't anywhere, and some strange feeling was pulling him towards the sea. He walked out, making his excuses pretending he was in need for fresh air and solitude, and strolled down an invisible path to the one who was pulling him to her. He saw her soon, as her hair was playing with the cool breeze, and she was sitting gracefully on a rock, looking at the horizon and beyond. He stopped and was unable to go on, even move any cell in his body for his mind was blocked by the beauty he was staring at; nothing else existed, nothing else mattered. He realized and consciously accepted his infinite love for her, and hated her for it. He hated being in a vulnerable situation, and even more he hated his pride being punched to pieces. But what he hated most was that he had the chance, and he wasted it.

Once there he sat down next to hear, ad the familiar warmth of her presence was not unfelt by him. After a few moments of silence shared in each other's company, he decided to break it.

"You must be rather fatigued…"

"Not so much… ironically, working gives me some sort of energy, makes me hyper at times of good rest…"

Silence. She was thinking of different things, and he was without idea of what to say next; all day he was imagining some alone minutes with her, where he could ask all the questions he had, clarify his doubts and have her share her mind with him… But those dreams were better when stayed being dreams, as when they have the opportunity of becoming reality, one must face disappointment at realizing one's own lack of courage. Yet what bothered him most could not stay unvoiced for long.

"How is it that you have so much to do? Last time I checked I was your boss, and I hope my workload did not seem too much?"

"What? Oh no! Don't worry!" she answered, giggling. With a smile she continued, still not looking at him but the infinite sky before her "You see, I created some organizations, and work in many others, to improve the standard of living in African countries… We try to get medicine, at lower cost; or food of bigger variety to be available to more people, for healthier diets… The list is eternal, but every day something new is checked off." She added, with a distant smile. William arched his eyebrow in question,

"Africa?" as in saying, Don't you have enough cases of poor dwellings in Peru, or even here, without having to go to Africa?

"Yes, Africa. You see… coming back from Egypt, and looking at everything I was leaving behind on the plane, I made a pact with myself; while I have the energy to do it, I will spare my every moments helping those who can do little to help themselves in Africa, in gratitude of everything they have taught me. Those are incredible people, William, you must never underestimate them!" she said, passionately, and on 'William' turned to look into his eyes, to make more effect. After a short pause, she continued "And then I decided rather on a variation of the contract; I would spend half my remaining life working for Africa, and the rest doing my civic duty to Peru, and perhaps even Australia where I have lived so much…Doesn't that sound more reasonable to you?"

"You are crazy. No one but you could have come up with this. I do believe this is the maddest idea I have heard in my life, and that is quite an achievement considering I spent 2 weeks with you, during your teenage years…" she let out a laugh.

"I know it sounds silly but, well…. That's what keeps me up at nights, and what fills my mornings, my lunch breaks and weekends… It's my life, basically, and I don't regret it."

"It is admirable what you do but… I need reassurance that it will not affect your job in any way. I do not want clients complaining about you nagging them for some charity event or selling them something… you understand, don't you. I want you to handle this professionally and do not mix the two." He was serious, he was threatening, and he was not like the William Elizabeth was used to. Taken aback, Elizabeth could only utter a

"No… of course not…" and see as she was left alone, again. After two steps, he turned around and with empty eyes said:

"It would be rather rude to keep the others waiting for dinner… And I suggest you change, as well, before coming down to the dining room." And with that cold, cold statement he left her, freezing more from his look than from the cool night wind giving her the goose-bumps.