Chapter 17:

She went upstairs, to think, to vent, and at the same time, to change. She was very disturbed by the violent change of mood William showed, and could not place it anywhere. Finding her knee-length black dress, that was richly decorated with pearls and embroidered flowers that was very unlike her and made her feel rather uncomfortable… nevertheless, it was stylish, expensive, and competitive.

She came down the stairs, pondering, wondering about the latest change of events, when she realized her companions weren't in the dining room, and she had no idea where they were. Fortunately, she met with Caroline on her way for some

"…beauty touch-ups. From the looks of it, you might need some as well… though in that case, I can't guarantee the rest will wait for you to start dinner, it might take a while." …of course, nothing good comes without sacrifice. She politely thanked her for the advice, and made her way to the terrace where the others were waiting.

"Hello darling, you look wonderful." She was greeted with an impassionate kiss by Wikham. The party continued with small talk, about the weather, the cleanness of the air compared to the city, the beautiful sites they had the chance to admire. Soon after her arrival, Elizabeth received yet anther call.

"I am so sorry, I have to…" she said apologetically.

"Please Lizzy, enough of these phone calls, we are here to relax!"

"It will just be a second, I promise, you won't even notice I am gone." She left, and answered the call. Coming back, she saw that Caroline was finished with applying one more layer of beautifiers, and was now holding hands with William. Being her the only one to notice her, she pushed herself closer to him, making his arm slide around her. Elizabeth felt a strong pull in her stomach, and realized how this night was predestined to end… and it was not well, by ay means. Finally, she was at her destination, and the rest noticed her presence as well.

"You were right… we did not notice you were gone." told her William, leaving her feeling even worse. His hatred was evident in his voice, though only he could understand it… He loved her, and every moment she wasn't with him, his hatred grew… He didn't even know why he hated her, or even if he hated her at all, or rather, if he hated himself. He loathed life, in general, for making hi so miserable. But not even that hatred could sway Elizabeth from what she intended to do; he admired her courage, and hated her for it.

"William, it was Charlotte. She is engaged to an English gentleman, but has some trouble obtaining residency, or even visa… The wedding is in 2 months, and she is desperate, she doesn't want to miss her own wedding… Please, can you help her?" she asked, pushing everything aside; every snide remarks, every pretences of being newly-made acquaintances.

"Charlotte! How is she? I haven't heard from hr in ages! I am so glad she is finally happy… Who is the lucky man?" Jane asked enthusiastically, though neither William nor Elizabeth heard her. They were both staring at each other, trying to find de-code hidden messages, studying each other's well known expressions, faces… Not taking his eyes off her, he answered

"I will see what I can do. But I am warning you, I do not want any scandal, any press involvement; nothing. Understand? Hopefully, you are one to learn from past mistakes…" This little exchange of words did not go unnoticed by anybody, though there were a few who found it more interesting than others.

They changed the subject, talking about plans for the next day.

"I think we should stay here, it is such a lovely place! Besides, it is no use visiting a lot of places, if all we do is sit in a wheeled box all day…" Bingley, of course, was in the same opinion as Jane.

"I doubt there are many more things to do here, perhaps we should try to find somewhere else to stay, close-by." Wikham opposed. Caroline had no opinion, and William showed indifference.

"I really like it here, it's peaceful, and relaxing…" Elizabeth decided. This was not met well by her partner, who asked if she could join him in a separate room for a chat. They excused themselves, and left.

"What are you doing?" demanded Wikham.

"What do you mean?"

"You embarrassed me, went against my decision, and have absolutely no care or respect to what I feel."

"I am sorry, I …I really did not mean to-"

"It isn't about whether you mean it or not, You don't care, you don't realize what you are doing. Look, I think you are beautiful and usually fun to be with but… this isn't going to work. Call me when you get home." With that he left, leaving her alone, stood-up and surpassing her planned misery-level for today by a rather large amount.

"What happened, where is Wikham?" asked Caroline, with evidently faked innocence.

"He's… uhm, he needs to go home… he has a lot of work and…" she didn't know how to answer.

"That was fast… Wikham disappointed already?"

"William!" exclaimed a shocked Bingley at his friend's ill-times malicious remark.

"Perhaps… but you have no authority in the matter, I would rather take criticisms from people who can actually keep relationships for longer than 2 weeks." She shot back. At this, all pretences disappeared, and an open war was declared.

"I offered everything that anyone could possibly dream of, everything! Any sane person would have made the right decision!"

"You offered what you could, what you thought would please! You had no idea, you knew nothing of what was really needed! Goodness, William, have you really no sense of tact, have learnt nothing of timing… did you really know me so little?? You have no respect, there was no sacrifice! You offered what you already had there, for anybody to take!"

"I…"

"You are a conceited, prejudiced, stuck-up jerk, who knows nothing of life, nothing of people, and I wouldn't have accepted even if my life depended on it! And the worst of it all, is that you haven't changed a bit."

"lizzy, I… I don't know what to say…"

"Just… don't say anything…" calmed now, they were both in their own world where thoughts were floating and flying around everywhere. The rest were dumb-struck, and did not know what to make of this outburst. What they did know for sure was that those two had a history more ancient and complex than they thought.

The rest of the night was spent with Bailey and Jane talking happily about their future, their work, their life in general, about Caroline exclaiming she was bored every 10 minutes, and criticizing Elizabeth every 5, William staring at his plate, and Elizabeth staring at the candle, lit at the centre of the table, perfectly convinced she was alone in a candle-lit dark room. Of course, she was pulled back to reality rather often, as Caroline would not have her remarks unanswered, in which cases a glass of many alcoholic -ed fluid took her back to her candle and solitude. After dessert and during coffee, Caroline made one final stab Elizabeth just couldn't swallow.

"Elizabeth, tell me, do you ever plan to get married? You are not getting younger, you know… the clock is ticking… Well, perhaps it isn't really up to you, you poor thing, it must be really hard to live, being you…"

"Caroline!" Bingley was shocked. But what was said was said, and Elizabeth did not know what to say… she was wondering about similar things all day.

"Perhaps I may not be so openly flirtatious as you, Caroline but… Oh, who am I kidding!" she stood up, but loosing her balance it was a miracle Bingley could catch her. At this, everyone left their chairs and were pushing Elizabeth towards the stairs; Clearly, she needed a lot of rest and clearer mind.

"What is wrong with me, Jane? Am I so… I mean, it's not like I haven't had relationships… three people have proposed to me, all of whom I declined, of course, but… What's wrong with me??"

"3?! Lizzy, you have never told me!" Jane was astounded. She knew very little of her sister, but she thought at least she would fin out about things like proposals…

"Yes, Jane, three… One in Australia, one in Africa, and one… well I can't really remember where, but… Jane, I am so sorry! I missed you so much but… please forgive me!" she was sobbing now.

"now, now, Elizabeth, let's go up, you need some rest."

"Charles, you are so good to me, and to Jane! You don't deserve her, nobody does, but…Out of everyone, you're the one who least not deserves her…" she stumbled a bit, but aided by Bingley she kept going towards the stairs.

"You will be so happy together, and Jane is going to be the most beautiful bride this World has ever seen! You've found each other at the perfect time, and that is very lucky you know, because… because…" she fell again, only to be caught by Bingley again. "What's wrong with me?!?! What's…" she sobbed holding back tears the in majority weren't only consequences of her excessive drinking. Tripped again, except this time, it was someone else who caught her. Straightening up, she realized who it was, and after a few moments while neither lt go of the other, she asked, whispering:

"What's wrong with me, Wiliam?" said person couldn't resist her. Her eyes, staring up at him, defenseless, exposed, openly conveying passionate love and hurt, confusion, solitude… His hatred left, his desire to help her, to save her overwhelmed him. He was closing the distance between them, slowly, as if seconds passed with the speed of hours, as his breathing became more difficult, his mind more clouded. He recognized her smell, her warmth, her air… He knew he missed it, he knew he was tempted, he felt the familiar butterflies…

She saw his face closer, and closer, and closer… she was calmed by this nearness of him, yet flustered at what it implied. She has been waiting for this well-known feeling all her life, and as she saw him breaking the unbreakable, she started to hope for the first time in 8 years.

So close they heard the other's breath as their own, their eyes were closed, their lips slightly parted unconsciously there were no doubts of what would happen. Until, milliseconds before it was too late, William stopped the process, letting out a low whisper of a groan only Elizabeth could hear. He placed his fore-head to hers, and after many swallows, many deep, shaky breaths, whispered "Nothing…". One last breath and he left, not looking at anyone, marching off to the darkness of the night.

Elizabeth was left crushed, and her eyes were closed while she could hear the two pieces of her heart, breaking, like a mirror, into microscopic little pieces. Her heart was like the mirror, and she was like Kay… and only her true love could save her. Her grief was now beyond crying, and like a zombie she ascended the steps, one by one, without looking at anyone, or anything.