Chapter 18:

Next day, she felt terrible in every possible way imaginable. Her head was hurting, her arms and legs and back and.. well, everything really that could possibly hurt was doing so. But the feeling that over passed all her other pains was a throbbing pull in her stomach, an agonizing ache that she knew was due more to the shame of being embarrassed at her behavior and had little to do with any consequences of too much alcohol intake; it was more about being vulnerable, and being rejected. Not only by one; she was declared not wanting by both gentleman that meant something to her in her current life, and one who meant everything in all her lives. She was anguished and lost; because while there wasn't evidence that her suppositions of failure were correct, she in a way had a goal, had a meaning to her life, even if it was suffering a lost someone and knowing (but not feeling) that there was no hope, wondering over what 'could have been'. Yet now, she knew nothing would have happened, the 'could have been' did not exist… He moved on, and it was time for her to do the same. Except… she knew no where to start, and she didn't want to, either.

Now, the meaning and the hope were lost. And trust me, there is nothing more awful than losing hope. All she wanted to do now was to disappear; she didn't want to have to face anyone she knew, especially not Him, and her sister, and… Caroline Bingley. She accepted rejection, but to be defeated by that woman! Another tug on her stomach showed she had not lost her pride, however humbled she might have been. Her heart was pounding so fast and so hard, as if it gained life with the only purpose of breaking out and stabbing that woman for taking Him away. It was unreasonable, she knew, but she couldn't help feeling it was all her fault, because she didn't want to have to voice something she knew was true yet could cause unforgivable amounts of self-loathing; that, no matter what the present situation might suggest, it was her, and only her, who could have changed her own future. If only she…!

But let's not get down that chain of thoughts, or our heroin might find herself locked in a mental institution; there are some things even the strongest people can't handle, and losing someone you love so much as She loved, and still loves, Him, is one of them.

She brought up all her courage, and after packing her bags with the clear intention of ending her nightmare weekend, went down to say her goodbyes.

Once down, she found only Jane, with reddened and puffy eyes which belied her sweet smile.

"Lizzy! I hope you are feeling better… here, have some coffee, I'm sure you need it." She graciously took the cup, though this was her 4th in the morning. She lighted a cigarette, though now no one asked her to 'not ruin this perfect morning'. There was silence for a long time, as neither sister wanted to bring forth memories they are sure the other would wish to forget. Lizzy was looking out from the window, and Jane was staring at her empty plate in front of her.

"Jane… all you all right?" Lizzy asked with a low voice that was very uncharacteristic of Peruvians, or latins in general. She looked as if she was surprised at her question, and kept on with her pretence, while Elizabeth was getting very anxious about her sister.

"Yes of course, why wouldn't I be?" she answered, and a few moments later added "It is just the weather, you know how changes can affect me so dreadfully… But I already took a pill for my headache; I will be as fresh as ever very soon, I promise." It was rue, it seemed to be a very grey and cloudy morning, as if the universe itself were sympathizing with the fates of these two, lonely, sisters. It was only now that Elizabeth realized the seriousness of finding Jane alone, and asked for the whereabouts of the rest, as in changing the subject away from whatever was bothering Jane. Unfortunately, she was unsuccessful as Jane had a shadow of darkness flash through her eyes and seemed more serious, though still with the traditional smile which now failed to brighten her face.

"Caroline apparently decided the air here was not doing well for her complexion and decided to head back… Charles went with her." Jane tried to sound very matter-of-fact, yet it didn't stop Elizabeth from realizing the root of her discomfort.

"I'm so sorry Jane…" she didn't receive an answer. She was staring at her sister's face for a few minutes, while Jane was staring down at her plate, determined to not show any signs of grief or that she heard the last comment.

"No one has seen William since… yesterday…" there was a clear undertone in that statement, one which Elizabeth didn't fail to catch. It was impossible to keep this situation any longer, so Lizzy stood up and left. It wasn't one of her bravest moments, but she needed time alone, time to think, time to plan. So, she headed straight to the bar.

How could he be so selfish, so heartless, such an… asshole! He was leading her on, and meant nothing of it! He made her promises, gave her gifts and made her happy, only to take everything away, and more, because he got her heart in return! When I get back to that… city, I will not let this without him hearing from me… He will suffer the way he made my angelic sister suffer, he is going to regret every meeting the Bennets! How could he?! Hadn't he realized how perfect, how innocent and kind and beautiful Jane dear is?!

But oh well, whatever can you expect from someone who is friends with… That thing. That idiotic, self centered, egotistical, arrogant thing that thinks he is the centre of the universe and-

"MISS!" she heard someone shout at her.

"WHAT?!" she shouted back, though she regretted instantly; she was sitting a the bar, probably talking to herself aloud and there was a barman in front of her who seemed quite shocked, poor darling.

"I am sorry, Miss, I was only wondering if you wanted anything?"

"Never mind… Could you please give me a… give me an irish coffee… better yet, make it without the coffee, won't you?" he nodded and went to prepare her 'coffee'.

"Don't look at me like that, I am sure I'm not the only one." She said once she got her drink, feeling a little ashamed of her broken self-control. It wasn't usual for her to drink, especially not to drink so early, but desperate situations shout for desperate actions.

"Actually, there was one other person… I promised I wouldn't tell, but well, if it is without names, it can't hurt can it?" he said. It was clear he wanted to talk about it, and no matter how mean she seemed, she was the ideal companion for the chat. She smiled, as if telling him to continue, and he did.

"Well, not long before you… actually, I think it was exactly an hour and 15 minutes before you, there were two gentleman who were… how should I put it?.. in the middle of a disagreement. Apparently, one of them was trying to 'save' the other from an 'inconvenient marriage'! Have you ever heard anything like that in our times?! It was so Pride and Prejudice!" Elizabeth was now more interested than ever.

"One of them had incredible looks, beautiful golden hair and seemed very agreeable… It is a pity he's the marrying type… You women always say that the best guys are gay, but I am convinced it is the other way around. I mean, who ever heard of a straight man cheating on you with one of your very best friends (a girl, by the way!) and then thanking you for making him realize he wasn't gay after all! And to top it all, I heard about it one week later, from a friend of mine who know all three of us! Now, imagine that! And guess what?" Elizabeth wasn't really listening and thus couldn't answer, but it didn't seem to bother him, he kept going. "He did it one week after our 7th anniversary… 7th! Can you believe that?? So you see… you are better off having what you have, I'm telling you, I am completely disillusioned by gay men…" though he kept on with his tale, being completely unimportant for the story and not being a gay man myself to get more ideas, I decided that Elizabeth just stood up, and left him to gossip he ears off some other victim.

She couldn't believe it; it was all his fault. What was his problem?! Her lack of money?? What else could possibly be said against someone so pure, so elegant and gorgeous and well mannered, humble, clever, loving as Jane? Who does he think he is, breaking up a perfect couple like Charles and Jane, who obviously love each other without conditions, with al their being and for ever!

Next moment she saw a familiar figure strolling down the beach with his yesterday clothes still on. Her fury at her sister's ill fate was stronger than anything else she might have felt for the man, and grabbing a cup of some fluid that was on the table next to where she was standing, she ran out to the gray horizon and the wind and the troubled sea, to where he was now standing and waiting for her.

Running out of fury and with eyes throwing out fire every second that if were real could give serious injuries to the one standing in front of her, she greeted Him for the first time since her heart was broken so miserably last night. In her anger, she poured the entire contents of, now she realized, the orange juice she picked up on his head, then slapped him so strong the marks of her hands were still on his face.

"WHO THE HELL DO OU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!" she shouted at him, with drops of salty water assembling in her eyes; her voice, though she intended for it to sound strong and commanding, was weak and breaking at the knot she felt in her throat, her stomach, her eyes and mind… and in her soul.