M rated!!!

This chapter is pretty angsty. But C/B fans might like it :-)

Please review!


Blair opened the door of room #1. She looked for Serena. Nobody was in there. Okay, so # 2, she thought. But Serena wasn't there either. Only Eric sat on a chair next to the window.

"Something interesting out there?" Blair asked gentle. She always liked Eric. The two of them weren't that close but he was the little brother of her best friend and so she tried him.

"Not really." Eric smiled and shrugged.

"Are you alone here? Where's Serena?" Blair asked.

"Yeah, alone. I don't know. Last time I saw her, she looked for you." Eric answered with a smirk.

"Ugh, stop smirk-ing me! You spend too much time with Chuck, don't you?" Blair said.

"Not as much as you do – or you want to do." Eric replied.

Blair sighed, took another chair and sat next to him. He hold his music player in his right hand. One moment Eric thought Blair wanted to reach for it but instead she pulled his wrist closer to her. She started caressing his scar.

"Why Eric?" she asked gentle. Eric was shocked and surprised how gentle Blair could be if she wanted to.

"Do you know the feeling that there's nothing left inside?" Eric asked and pointed at his ribcage.

Blair nodded. "Just too well." Eric was confused. He didn't expected this answer.

"Well, it's hard to handle." Eric said.

"I know." Blair sighed. "You know, after the usher party, when you told me this – I blamed myself. I was so busy with myself and my father's departure that I never ever even thought of you. Even when I heard that Serena left. I just thought about myself." Blair's eyes filled up with tears. "When we were younger I was so jealous of Serena for having such a cute little brother. But when it came to it, I wasn't even a good replacement. I'm sorry, Eric."

Eric shook his head. This was WAY too much for 48 hours. First, her mother want send Serena away. Then she married Bart Bass of all rich men. Afterwards he ran away with all this crazy teens, half of them related to him. And now a heavy Blair Waldorf meltdown.

"Blair, I'd never blame you. How could I? I didn't care about you when your father left. I didn't even care about you that day." Eric said softly.

THAT day. Blair tried to forget about it since it happened so badly. But it would never happened.

The Van der Woodsen home, some time ago.

"Blair! It's my fifteenth birthday! It's important to me!" Serena shouted excited.

"I know, S. And it's going to be wonderful!" Blair encouraged her best friend.

"I know. I'm so glad, I got the dress I wanted in size 2. It'd be the horror if they just had it in 4." Serena said as she hold up the dress in front of her to watch herself in the mirror. "Blair, you haven't eat any of the cookies, yet! Try them, they're so good."

Blair nodded, took one and eat it. "Come here, B. Try it on!" Serena hold up the dress. Blair looked skeptically.

"I don't know, S." she said shyly. But Serena tugged her in front of the mirror and zipped her dress off. Blair had no chance and so she let Serena put her actual dress down and the new over her head to slip in. As soon as Blair felt the dress sliding over her hips she felt it. The dress was to tight around the hip and to wide around the breast. But it got worse. When Serena tried to zip it, it didn't work. Her tummy was still a millimeter to big. Serena looked at her in the mirror and the smile disappeared.

"That's nothing you should think about Blair. It's just because I'm a bit taller." Serena tried to comfort her friend.

Blair faked a smile. "Yeah, you're right. Would you excuse me? I need to use the bathroom."

Serena nodded and zipped her dress as she put it back on. Blair didn't walk in Serena's bathroom. She needed a bit more privacy for what she was about to do. She finally got in the bathroom at the opposite end of the apartment. She closed the door, and got as soon as she could down in front of the toilet and stuck her finger down her throat. As wide and as hard as she could. She started crying. Caused by the physical but also mental pain. Blair did this now nearly a year to herself but it didn't help. Blair's view became blurred. She hadn't eat for one and a half day and she knew there was nothing left to throw up but she needed this right more than anything. Suddenly there was a darkness – Blair fell to the side and against the counter. Several items fell to the floor. The next thing Blair remembered was a concerned Lily that entered the room and lifted Blair's head in her lap and called for the maids. Blair felt an unusual taste in her mouth. She put her hand to her mouth and saw it – blood. There had never before been blood. She passed out.

The next memory was Blair lying on the couch. Her parents, Lily, Serena, Eric and a doctor around her. All with concerned looks. That was the day everybody learned about Blair's secret – or condition as her mother called it. Bulimia.

"My own parents don't give a fuck about. Why would you, Eric?" Blair replied and pulled his head closer to kiss him on the forehead.

"Will you promise me something?" Blair asked in a stern tone.

"Hmm?" Eric asked.

"Don't do ever something like that. Okay?" Blair said.

"On one condition."

"And what's that?"

"You try with all strength not to relapse. Ever. Again."

"Deal." Blair smiled.

She leaned forward to hug him. As soon as she hold him, the door flew open. A confused looking trio stepped in.

"Eric, explain this!" Chuck commanded.

Blair laughed and Eric chuckled. "Look who's acting like the jealous boyfriend – again." Blair said.

"Yeah, being jealous of the little brother who's gay is kind of ridiculous, Chuck." Eric added. And Chuck nodded. His trademark smirk appeared on his face.

"You're right. Sorry." Chuck said. And Eric just smiled.

"Wait, you're gay?" Nate asked confused.

Everybody stared at him.

"Yes, I am. I hope it's not a problem for you." Eric said.

"No, no, of course not!" Nate said quickly. "I just didn't know."

"That's because you don't pay attention, Nathaniel." Chuck said. "That reminds me….Blair? Can I speak to you, please?"

Blair nodded and Chuck followed her out of the room.

Blair went to the parking space. She stopped as she was sure to be out of earshot from the door to the bedrooms. She turned around to face Chuck.

"I have something to tell you, Blair." Chuck said.

"Okay." Blair replied gentle.

"I read it. And I want you to know….I …..I do…..I do feel the same way about you." It was so pretty damn hard to do this sweet talk. He never ever had to do something like this – but he also never ever had felt that way about anyone.

Blair smiled, pulled him into her arms and kissed him. He returned the kiss but Blair pulled away. Chuck knitted his brows. She caressed his cheek with her index finger and looked him deeply in the eyes.

"I want to thank you, Chuck, for choose your mother's name for the faked passport. I know that means a lot to you and I feel so honored." Blair whispered.

"I thought, you wouldn't remember." Chuck admitted.

"How could I ever forget?" She smiled and he pressed his lips on hers again. It was just a soft butterfly kiss but right then, in this moment it meant the world to them.

After a while Chuck pulled back and looked at Blair. Blair furrowed but watched what he did. He got on his knees.

"Chuck? What are you doing?" Blair was confused.

"Blair, I don't know how this works, but …" he pulled a small box out of his pocket and Blair's heart started beating double-time. She couldn't thing of anything. "…I want you to be my girlfriend. Will you?" Chuck asked hopefully and Blair sighed relieved. She tugged him Back on his feet.

"Chuck Bass, don't you shock me ever like that again." Chuck knitted his brows.

"But Nathaniel told me…:"

"Nate is very, very bad advice for relationship questions, okay? What's that?" she pointed at the small box.

It was too big for a ring, too small for a necklace. He opened it. It was a beautiful small bracelet. Gold with a little pin. A butterfly. It was pretty but it didn't look new.

"It's my mom's favorite bracelet. I want you to have it." Chuck explained.

Blair felt the tears running down her cheeks. "Chuck…." her voice break and she decided to pull him in a passionate kiss instead. After several minutes, Chuck pulled back and smiled. "I take that as a yes."

"Of course, Bass. You're my boyfriend now." Both chuckled.

"Wow, that sounds so strange. My girlfriend Blair Waldorf. I'm the boyfriend of Blair Waldorf. I love it!" Chuck admitted and Blair chuckled. He took the bracelet and put it on her right arm. She nodded and pulled him closer to kiss again.

Meanwhile in the motel room.

Serena, Eric and Nate pressed their noses against the window.

"Has he really just proposed?" Serena asked in shock.

"Naaah, he hasn't." Nate said nonchalant.

"How can you be so sure about that, Nate?" Eric asked curious.

"Because he asked me how I asked Blair to be my girlfriend in the first place and I told him "on my knees."." He grinned.

"Yeah, Nate. Because we're all on our knees. It was a dare and I bet, Blair will kill you for that shocker." Serena said and shook her head.

"You guys, over there. Do you see that guy?" Eric pointed at a man on the opposite site of the street. He held a camera and took pictures of Chuck and Blair.

"Let's go." Nate said and opened the door.

The three ran to the parking space to the very busy new couple.

"Blair, Chuck we're in trouble!" Serena shouted.

Chuck pulled back slowly.

"What's it this time, sis?" Chuck asked annoyed.

Serena pointed to the man on the street and the man saw it. He ran away.

"Shit." Chuck mumbled angrily.

The caretaker made his way to them. He looked curious.

"In what kind of trouble are you kids?" he asked curious.

"Who said we're in trouble?" Blair asked gentle. She knew that they had to play innocent.

"Because, five minutes ago a guy with name Vanderbilt called me and offered 5.000$ if I'd lock you in your rooms tonight."

The five were shocked. "Why didn't you take the offer?" Chuck asked.

"Because I bet you would make me a better offer, kid." he grinned at Chuck. Chuck nodded.

"Serena, Eric go and get all our stuff we have to go now." Serena and Eric nodded and went back to the rooms.

"Blair, please give some money to the man. You know where it is." Blair nodded and walked over to the car.

"Nate, we need to change the plates. Now and sometime soon after that." Nate nodded as well and followed Chuck to the cars.

Ten minutes later, Serena and Eric put the last pieces back in the trunk, the caretaker walked away laughing and Nate affixed the last plate.

"Okay, let's go. The highway again, Nate. Even your grandfather can stop us there."

"Eric, you're coming with us. Serena and Nate had you long enough." Blair said.

"I'm not a pet, Blair." Eric replied.

"No, you're better. You're entertaining. Come on." Serena, Nate, Chuck and Eric were confused but agreed.

When they drove off and reached the highway, Chuck leaned over to Blair. Eric were in the backseat and had his earplugs in.

"Why did you asked him to come with us, girlfriend?" Chuck asked teasingly.

"Because I know us, boyfriend." Blair answered with a smirk. She turned the radio on. Bon Jovi – Blaze of Glory. What could possibly fit better? Both of them smiled.

In the meantime, in the other car.

"So, Blair and Chuck worked out their issues." Nate started.

"Yeah, I never believed that this could possibly happen." Serena replied.

"Well, now that they together and we don't have to worry about Blair…:"

"There is no "we" Nate. I'm sorry but I'm just dumped Dan. I need some time to get over this first before I even think about a new relationship."

"I can wait. Just remember that I'm always around if you want me to, okay?"

"That's a deal, Nate."

"What do you mean with gone?" Bart spat in his cell. "But Mr. Vanderbilt offered a bunch of money to this idiot!" He hung up. It was so disappointing to be surrounded by people who can't do their job as they should.

Lily gave him a understanding look. They made their bed, now they had to lie in it. None of them had ever been a good parent and that backfired now. Hard and painful. It was the moment they realized that there was no way back.