Chapter 22:
"So... how has life been treating you?" he asked, after a long walk in silence. They were on the beach, barefoot and arm in arm, soul in soul. The break in the silence came opportune; it wasn't too early, yet I was not too late either. The comfort of the silence subtly transformed into the comfort of the words, told by a loving heart.
"Not bad, considering…" she answered. She did not know whether to voice her thought; it was not lack of confidence, more like worry over how he would take it. She did not want to hurt him, not just yet.
"Considering…?" he pressed on after a few moments of silence. He did not want to intrude, but something must be said.
"…your absence" she whispered, not daring to look in his eyes. It dawned on him, how much she must have suffered as well, how much misery their silly fight meant to both of them. He did not know what to answer; such intimacy was an unknown ground to he who has spent his life trying to avoid it. Thy kept on walking, though now with an uncomfortable silence.
"So… What is the protocol in occasions like these? What rules are there, which giving my inbred nature I would obviously not know…?" she asked. The words said in the past still stung her, for they came from someone so close to her.
"Please, Elizabeth, forgive me" he pleaded, both with words and eyes, and entire being. "You should know that what I said, I did not mean; and what you said did not go unheard."
"Will, I'm sorry. I just…"
"You were hurt, and it is my fault. I will not forgive myself while I live for causing you so much pain.
"How noble of you… but I must say, if it is so I do not agree with what you said; you are still very self-centered if you believe all was because of you. No-" she said, looking at him with honesty shining in her eyes "no, my misery was more from hate to myself, for letting you go. I am not entirely blameless either, William; I know what I have said, what I have done and I am sorry."
"Let's call it even?" he said with a grin.
"You bet!" she smiled, and kissed him. They kept on walking, admiring the sea and admiring each other's company. All barriers were down, nothing left to forgive, nothing to repent; they were facing a new beginning, a chance to right previous wrongs and start all over.
"I am so proud of you, Lizzy!" he whispered, out of the blue. He has been meaning to tell her for so long, but never really had the chance; though this wasn't particularly the right moment, I was as good as ever, and it was bursting out of him. "You are a remarkable woman; I am humbled by you. All that you have achieved, all the obstacles you had to pass… meanwhile firm to your beliefs; never wavering, never doubting what was right. You outshine even the sun itself!" tears were silently falling down her cheek, celebrating her joy at having him there next to her and hearing those sweet words fro him.
"Will, I-" she hated sentimentality; she cleared away her tears, gave a cheeky smile and answered "oh dear, what have I don't to you? You have become rather cheesy, good Sir… I do not have the advantage of answering back in such a manner… Though I am rather certain I could beat you to that tree there!" she said, already running towards the tree in question. He gave a loud laugh and ran to catch her up, which seemed rather an easy task. He lifted her up laughing, and they spent the afternoon playing like children; carefree, happy and as if they had all the time in the world.
Hours went by, and it was soon time to go back to the hotel. There they were faced with reality; Jane, like they never saw her before, with unbrushed hair and red eyes greeted them at the dining table.
"Jane! I am so sorry, I…" she could not possibly say the truth, that she forgot about her... she was at a loss. She felt so guilty, which was made even worse by the pure bliss which now housed her heart, even though her sister was in such a state.
"Lizzy! There you are, I was wondering… Oh, don't worry about me, I am fine, really!" she tried a weak smile, with little success. Lizzy knew it was not the moment to tell her sister about the 180° turn her life has made, though she so wanted to; she wanted to shout it out to all the world how she was given a second chance.
"Come, Jane,let's eat something, and tomorrow we'll head back to London, all right?"
"oh, Lizzy, I am so sorry! I feel dreadful about this, now you have nowhere to live!" Jane, always worrying about others… this has never occurred to Lizzy.
She is right, you know… If they have broken up, neither of you have anywhere to live… You are going to have to find an apartment, and fast…
But it can't be anything large, though, I can't afford it! I can barely pay for the living of two people and a very, very small apartment, somewhere nasty…
"Um, perhaps I could help in that area…" offered William. He didn't want to intrude on what obviously was a family matter, but he knew the problem could not be solved otherwise.
"Will, really, it's nice of you to offer, but I really think it would be better if you didn't… Wouldn't look very proper, you must admit. Giving us a place to live would be like… well, you know what I mean." Pictures of the movie Gigi came racing to her head, and she knew the last thing they needed was a scandal.
"Come on Lizzy, it's the 21st Century! People have modern thinking now, let me help!"
"No dear. Really, trust me it's better this way. Besides… it's no like it's the first tie I am going to self-sustain… Yes London isn't cheap, but I'll manage!" she gave him a peck on the lips. "I appreciate your concern, but have a little faith. We'll be just fine." She smiled, and he gave in. With a louder voice she added "Besides, a smaller apartment would bring us closer together… literally. Right, Jane?" she turned to her sister, who obviously was not really paying attention.
"Yes, you're perfectly right Lizzy!" she said absentmindedly.
"All right, well… Either we get her really drunk, or it's bedtime!" she smiled apologetically at William. "See you tomorrow Will!"
"Goodnight love, see you in the morning!" he gave her a goodbye kiss.
"Come, Jane, let's get you up!"
"But Lizzy, your lunch! I mean…dinner!"
"We have already finished it dear, don't you remember?" she lied. Ok, but it's a white lie. I'm entitled to white lies… under very extreme conditions! She gave a fake yawn "I'm dead tired, please Jane!"
And thus, the two sisters went up. With one last glance at William from the top of the staircase, Elizabeth disappeared into the night.
Fate is so cruel. Why should I get my happiness, at the cost of Jane losing hers? Lizzy wondered, staring at her sleeping sister beside her.
It didn't have to be like this, you know. It was his fault that all this happened.
But he had good reason! I mean…not good reason, but an understandable one!
Oh please, don't mistake hi for a saint. It was a selfish reason, a terrible one! How could he do to others what had been done to him, when he knows the pains of it, the misery which was unavoidable with his actions!
It wasn't only him, though. It was that Bingley woman too! She hates Jane; despises her like there is no tomorrow. Besides, no one can be perfect!
You don't believe that, don't lie. To you, he is Perfect.
Yes… I truly cannot find fault in him.
Love had blinded you, dear.
Blinded us. Remember? We are one and the same person!
Yes, but I am the sane part of that person, and I am telling you to snap out of it.
Never! If ignorance brings by such happiness, than blissfully ignorant I shall for ever remain!
………
Don't give me that silent treatment!
I am your conscience, I am allowed everything. "All is fair in love and war!" as they say.
…This is not war, just a peaceful exchange of ideas.
Right.
All right, you win. I'll have a chat with Will tomorrow, but leave me alone for now, I want to dream.
I wonder who you intend to dream about…
And I wonder where my all-so famous sarcasm originates from…
Hush, go dream or something!
And so she did. She dreamt about William, and many little Willibeths, and a "happily ever after".
Another chapter done!! Sorry for the lateness… I was super shocked with the 54 days it said I have passed since I last updated!! The reason is, and I am not trying to excuse myself, I realize there is no justification for such a sin, but the thing is, I'm in school and have a slight procrastination problem, so I usually have no tie for anything. And… yes, the hall of shame! I can't write fights. I suck at them. Really.
Anyway… R&R!!