Holly POV

"Hey kiddo. Whatcha workin' on?"

Holly looked up from her desk to see Tony lounging against her apartment door which she felt no real need to lock. She trusted everyone who had access to the residence floors. Besides the fact that Jarvis could easily bar entrance for anyone in case she was asleep or showering. "Hey Tony. Just some stuff for my class. Little shits think I'm going to let them coast because I'm on the other side of the nation."

He chuckled. "Stupid kids." He stepped inside, absently looking around, seeing how she decorated. "I like what you've done with the place. Do you like it?"

"It's very nice, thank you. I like all the light and open space."

"Pepper mentioned that you don't black out your windows anymore."

She put down her pen and shrugged, turning to look out at the lights of the city briefly before turning back to her guest. "Yeah. Took a couple weeks." She paused and looked up at her billionaire pseudo brother. "Tony, what's going on?"

"Why does something have to be going on? I just wanted to come down and see you. See how you are settling in."

There it was. "Settling in? Tony, are you trying to find out if I plan on staying?"

He sat down in the armchair near her desk in a slump and shrugged. "Maybe."

She sighed. "Tony, I have a life out in California."

"No, you have classes you teach and a house near the beach. That's not living Holly. You know how well I know you kid. The last few weeks, even with you getting hurt, have been the first real glimpses of the Holly I used to know before when I didn't know what you did and stuff." He waved his hand. "You know what I mean. You aren't unhappy here."

"No, I'm not."

"And with Capsicle's return? Couldn't help but notice you didn't slug him. Bit unfair." Of course he would have to bring up the fact that when he'd returned from his captivity in Afghanistan, she'd been waiting at his house in Santa Monica. And promptly backhanded him, screamed at him for being such a moron and breaking down because he had been all she had left of her family and she thought she'd lost him. Maria had shown up at her house in LA and brought up Coulsen and then told her he was alive but didn't know he'd actually died and then he'd been standing there in her living room. She'd reacted close to the same as she had with Tony's return.

She pursed her lips. "You were presumed dead in Afghanistan for 3 months and Coulson was reported dead for longer. You both deserved it. Steve just...needed time. We talked, he apologized 15 times, it's alright."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Just alright?"

"For now. It's not a huge deal. He just has guilt issues, blaming himself for things outside of his control."

"That doesn't sound familiar at all."

She smirked. "Nope, not at all."

"Do me a favor? Consider staying? The Tower's felt more like a real home or something with you here. Pep's commented on it more than once, so has Jarvis. And I like having you around where I can keep an eye on you."

She rolled her eyes and he laughed.

"Wanna take a break, go down to the theater, watch a movie?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." She put away the few papers she was working on and carefully stood up, very aware of Tony watching her for any sign of pain or discomfort. "I'm fine, Tony. Just taking it easy."

"Alright, alright." He stood himself, waving his hands. He took a few steps over to her photo wall, looking at the older pictures which featured him more than once. "Wow, I forgot how handsome I was for a second there."

She rolled her eyes, yet again, laughing. "That I doubt." She noticed he was focused on the picture of himself and her brother both holding her hands and lifting her toddler self into the air. She slipped her hand into his. "What are you thinking, Ony?"

A sigh. "How much I miss him. And Liam." He looked down at her. "I haven't really handled things all that well in the last 14 years, have I?"

"You had a few hiccups. So did I. You hid in a bottle, I ran to the other side of the country. But you found your way, I knew you would with time."

"Your dad would have been so disappointed in me." Tony softly admitted, showing a side of himself that she was sure only she and Pepper saw. And Jarvis, of course.

"Bullshit." Holly reached up and took Tony's face in both her hands. "Listen to me. Daddy would never be disappointed in you. Ever. Neither would Eddie. You hit a rough patch, that's all. Look at all you've done even with that rough patch. More than most people are able to do in their entire lives on their very best day. You saved the fucking planet Tony. You sacrificed yourself to save Manhattan. To save New Yorkers. Just like they did."

She could see his jaw clench and she quietly waited. Tony wasn't very good about addressing feelings. Howard wasn't exactly the sit and chat kind of father. His hand reached up and rested over hers. "I could never be half the men they were."

"No one expects you to be them, Tony. Be yourself." She moved her free hand and rested it over his arc reactor. "This is the real you shining through. You've always been my hero, now the rest of the world gets to see what I've always known."

She got a weak smile before he simply pulled her into his arms, wrapping her up tight in his. She returned the hug with equal strength.

Holly struggled slightly with her jacket as she walked with Steve through the main living area, heading for the elevators down to the ground floor. The Tower was designed in such a way where no one could go directly to the personal quarters of anyone living there without going through several security checkpoints and being forced to take more than one elevator. They didn't want to take any risks, especially considering most of them had created enemies over the years who'd think nothing of attacking them at home.

She'd been hoping they could make it through without running into anyone, but unfortunately, Pepper and Tony had chosen to relax on the sofa there to watch television rather than in their quarters.

"Hey, are you two going out?" Pepper asked, sounding only sightly incredulous. Everyone knew about Holly not leaving the Tower and why. None of them pushed her about it. Not even Tony. And he was the guy who regularly would jump out and try to scare Bruce to see if he would Hulk out.

She nodded nervously, the stubborn jacket finally on. Why was she trembling? Even when she was on her toughest assignments as a teenager with SHIELD, she hadn't felt this much anxiety and trepidation. "Yeah. Today's the day. I think. Haven't exactly thought that far ahead. Kind of hoping that's the trick to it."

"Rogers, don't push her to do anything she doesn't want to do." Stark spoke up, his eyes focused on her with intensity usually only seen when he was in his Playroom. "Sparky, are you sure you're ready?"

Another quick nod. "Yeah. Steve's right. Keeping myself locked up in the Tower isn't what Daddy would want." She took a deep breath. If they didn't leave now she would end up running back to her apartment and barricading the door. Her heart was pounding. Is this how Steve had felt when they were walking into Castle Kaufmann? "I'll be okay. Steve will be with me."

Steve POV

Steve looked down at her when she stopped after a few steps out of the Tower doors. He'd parked his favorite motorcycle in the protected area before the public area outside the Tower. She had her eyes closed and he could see her chin just barely wobbling. "Holly?" He was hoping she wasn't about to do a runner right back into the Tower. He wouldn't stop her but he knew that she'd beat herself up for not managing to get more than a few feet outside.

Her eyes opened and she gave him a weak smile with eyes beginning to water. "First time I've smelled NY air in 13 years."

He gave her the time she needed before walking with her over to the bike, his hand on her shoulder in support. Before letting go of the helmet he handed her, he asked an important question. "Promise me you won't ride with your eyes closed?"

"As long as you don't."

That made him smile and he was rewarded with a small one back as she slipped on the black helmet. So far so good.

"Holly, we don't have to go any farther than just sitting here on the bike. You don't need to do this today." Steve hadn't planned on taking her right to what was formerly Ground Zero but was now One World Trade Center and the Memorial. But when he asked where she wanted to go through the speakers in the helmet, that's what she replied with, in a small voice that didn't sound like her at all. It was amazing what had been done on the spot of so much horror, the towering spire before them a thing of beauty that stood out in the city as a sign of strength and memory.

She stood on the sidewalk, close enough to touch, looking small and alone. Her face was pale and drawn. He was almost worried she might pass out from the strain she was putting herself under. He wasn't sure he'd quite realized what a trauma she'd undergone when her father and brother were killed so brutally and so suddenly along with so many other New Yorkers. Her home and her family and her work had been violated. No wonder she'd stayed out of the city. "No. I need to do this. I can do this. It's just...it's just...give me a minute."

He nodded silently, hoping he wouldn't be recognized by any of the people walking by them. She'd been there with him in dealing with returning to Castle Kaufmann, he would be here for her. She'd pushed back dealing with what happened so often and so deeply that now it was tearing her apart. He might be a simple man who'd done extraordinary things but that much was plain.

She took a deep shaky breath before she turned to him. Her face was paler than he'd ever seen it and she looked like she was on the brink of panicking or worse. He prepared himself to catch her if she passed out. "I think I'm ready."

"Alright." He stood from the bike and took her outstretched and trembling hand with his. "I'm right here with you. One step at a time." He gave her hand a squeeze. "You are doing so well, Holly."

She nodded, shakily up at him before looking forward where the Memorial was only yards away. With a deep breath, she led the way to the place she'd never been able to make herself go to before.

The symbolism of the open square within the fountain of the Memorial wasn't lost on Steve as they stood near the plaque that had a list of too many names of those lost that fateful day. He'd been told that the 30 SHIELD agents lost were included, though few people knew their true occupation. Holly had been silent as a stone, staring at the fountain before moving to look at the plaque. Shaking fingers reached out and touched it where it read "Liam Dugan" and "Edward Dugan". His heart broke as silent tears finally escaped, coursing down her cheeks unchecked. Her eyes blinked and she moved to touch a few other names nearby, fellow SHIELD agents lost that day.

After she dropped her hand, her head bowed and he heard a great wrenching sob of grief that led him to only one course of action. He moved swiftly, kneeling so he wasn't towering over her and pulled her into his arms. She didn't fight the hug and cried on his shoulder, her small hands gripping tightly at his shirt. He hated that he was part of the reason she was crying that day, that he'd pushed her into finally leaving the Tower, but he knew deep down that she needed this. It was cathartic. He held her tightly and silently hoped that Dum Dum's brother would approve of him trying to comfort his little girl. He cupped the back of her head with one hand, not knowing if there were any words that would comfort her right then.

Long minutes passed before she moved back, quietly wiping at her face and sniffling a little. He stood back up and pulled out the handkerchief he always carried and she murmured a small thank you before making use of it. "I'm sorry. I'm a mess." She said softly, avoiding his eyes.

"Hey." He nudged her chin with his fingertips, to make her look at him. Her pale blue eyes, so familiar to him because of her uncle were wide and open. No hiding, no pretending right then. If he was a poet, he wagered he was seeing her soul in that moment. There was such pain but also great strength. It was sadly beautiful and something he was sure he'd never forget. "There's no I'm sorry's today. You don't ever have to apologize to me for mourning your family or the friends you lost that day." He took the chance and tucked a stray few strands of hair behind her ear, her head slightly tilting toward his hand. "You needed this. Did it help?"

She opened her eyes again and though they were a little red, they weren't as pained. "Yeah. I think so. Even though they were sent here on purpose...they did help people. And I don't know what happens...when we die, but I know that somewhere out there, they are still with me somehow. They would want me to remember the good."

He gave her a smile of encouragement. She had to be one of the bravest women he'd ever met. Of course, she would have to be, having been partly raised by Peggy. "Do you want to go somewhere else now?"

"Yeah, please. I don't care where. Just not here."

Holly POV

She closed her eyes as she walked with her feet sinking into the sand, the roar of the ocean and her own thoughts the only sounds with the occasional sea gull. Her house in California was right near the beach but the ocean had never sounded right. The Pacific was beautiful and warm but she would always be an East Coast girl. The Atlantic knew her. It knew the man beside her, her arm tucked through his as they walked along the beach, the day too overcast for many swimmers or sun worshippers. She opened her eyes and watched the antics of two seagulls as they fought over a piece of bread.

There was a gentle squeeze to her arm and she looked up to see Steve looking down at her with caring concerned eyes. What made her lucky enough to have a friend like him that would care this much about her? She'd only passively admit to having a touch of a crush on the man, seeing exactly what Peggy saw even before the serum. "You okay?" He asked softly, the sea air playing through his hair.

A nod and a squeeze to his well muscled arm. "Yeah. I'm okay. I was thinking how I've always preferred the Atlantic. The Pacific doesn't sound right."

"It's funny how it seems to be timeless, the ocean. I understand that it's not really the same ocean from 70 years ago but it feels the same."

"Does it bother you, to be near it?"

He looked a little confused and then made the connection. "No. I don't remember all that much about when I crashed the plane. Just the white of the snow coming closer and the cold coming in through the broken cockpit glass. I must have gotten knocked out and was frozen. I don't really know."

They were quiet again, both of them lost in their thoughts and letting the ocean and seagulls do the conversing. "Thank you, for being with me today. For making me face it all."

"You would have done it yourself with time. I'm glad I was here to support you." He paused. "Is your family buried in the main Queens cemetary? Do you want to go there?"

She looked up at him confused. "No. I mean, they aren't there. Dad and Eddie honestly aren't anywhere, their remains were never found but only my grandparents are buried in Queens. I'd have to research to figure outwhere considering they both died before 1940. Dad, Eddie, my mother and Dum Dum are all at Arlington National Cemetary."

Steve was confused and apparently his face showed it.

"Eddie was Special Forces, technically, on top of being a SHIELD agent. My mother was in the army, a bit ironic considering she was Lakota."

"Oh. I didn't know. I've only read your file."

She nodded. "Yeah. I figured. Find anything interesting besides that tidbit about the serum?" Part of her wondered what he thought about the various missions she'd been on or the number of people she'd either killed personally or assisted in killing.

"Lots, actually. I didn't realize you were in the army as well."

"Yeah, arranged through SHIELD of course. I wanted to be like Aunt Peggy."

"You are, honestly. I mean, you look nothing alike, of course but her strength, the no nonsense attitude. And the temper, you have the same expression as she did when she tested my shield by shooting at me without warning."

Holly laughed, no doubt having heard the story from the other point of view. "Do you see why she was angry about you staying away and feeling guilty over Bavaria?"

"Yeah I know. Is that where you get your infamous right hook from then?"

Holly grinned, feeling a bit of the weight and anxiety of the day drift away. "Tony's been telling stories again! He's still never let me forget that welcome home right hook. Asshole deserved it, if you ask me. Coulson too."

"How come I didn't get one?"

She chuckled, the first genuine laugh she'd felt all day. "Because I know you weren't really trying to avoid me or anything. It'd be like punching a puppy besides. Plus, I figure with the serum, you'd probably break my hand. At least fracture something."

"Punching a puppy? Thanks." He rolled his eyes. "You could break your hand on anyone's jaw if you hit them wrong. You think the serum would make it different with me?"

"Potentially. I'd rather not find out. Broken bones, serum or not, suck."

He laughed.

They got back to the Tower late, enjoying their time together talking about the city they both knew, just from different eras. Steve had blushed nearly to his ears when she teased him for sounding like Dum Dum as he pointed out where things used to be when he was a kid as they took his motorcycle on a drive through the major areas of the city.

She'd just managed to get her jacket off as they walked through the common area when Tony's head popped up and then the rest of him came tumbling over the sofa, stumbling over to her on sleepy feet. The only light coming from the guide lights on the floor and his arc reactor."Hey! Where the hell have you been? It's been hours! I was this close to going out in the suit looking for you!"

Aww. Tony had been worried. "Sorry Dad. Didn't know I had a curfew. We met some really nice meth dealers and then I tried out for a porno. Maybe two, time flies during those auditions. They said they called when they decided but they gave us free lube for waiting. That's all."

"Jesus Krispies, shut up! Ahh!" He cried, trying to cover her mouth with his hand only to get a nip from her teeth. "Dammit, I forgot you've always been a biter!"

She grinned and turned to Steve who looked most amused by the play by play, absently covering the smile he was fighting with his hand. "When I was teething, I apparently used Tony as a teething ring."

"Not just then either. Little vicious vampire!" He rolled his eyes and put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, serious here. You okay?"

She gave him a smile. "I'm alright, Ony. Promise."

"Where'd you go?"

"Well...we went...there and then down to Rockaway and then all over really."

Tony blinked in apparent shock. He hadn't expected them to go to where the Towers had been just like Steve had been. It was obvious that it wasn't exactly a place someone would go to first when going out into the city for the first time in so many years. "You did?"

"Yeah. It's really nice, what they did for everyone with the Memorial." She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "I know you helped pay for most of it, thank you."

"I had to do something."

"You've done a lot. Daddy would be real proud of you." She said with a quiet confidence. "Thank you for making me stay here too. I don't know if I ever would have come back to NY otherwise."

Tony hugged her tight, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Hey, someone's gotta keep an eye on you. Sounds like you had a successful day. Might want to head up to Pepper's office. She refused to go to bed until you guys came back."

Holly sighed and shook her head as Tony let go of her. "Does she ever not worry?"

"Nope."

She shrugged and turned to Steve. "Thank you, for today. Couldn't have done it without you. Good night." She leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek before dashing off for the elevator that would take her up to Pepper's office near the top floor of the Tower.