Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine, although Emmett/Edward TOTALLY should be!

Apologies for: 1) Being a Bit harsh on Jacob, but it just made for a funnier chapter and 2) For not doing Jasper before Jacob and Emmett. Although, Jasper is NEXT!

Now on with the story!

FWWBH: Welcome back. I'd like to excuse myself for that little lapse of sanity at the end of last show, and to thank my wonderful time keeper for standing in for me! But seriously, that was FUNNY!

Today's guest is cuter than tickle me Elmo, has beaten the hulk at wrestling and is DEFINITLEY brining Sexy Back… Please welcome to the show, Emmett Cullen!

EmC (Emmett Cullen): Hey. (Screaming girls FutureGirl04, dramaqueen-144, MrsCullen28 and Emmett's Girl 47 faint)

FWWBH: So Emmett, how have things been for you lately?

EmC: Good, I'm happy as ever. I recently smashed Jasper in a wrestling match and just before the show I tackled a few grizzlies for lunch!

FWWBH: Sounds cool, so have you liked watching the others so far?

EmC: Totally, last chapter was so funny! By the way, who did Jacob turn gay for? (A/N You thought I forgot, didn't you?)

FWWBH: (Starts giggling a little, then takes a deep breath and says…) Toto, form "The Wizard of Oz"!!!!

EmC: (Gasping with laughter) Seriously? At least… they're… the same… SPECIES!

(Small interlude of laughter)

FWWBH: Ok, now that we've gotten that out of the way! If you have your breath back your time starts… NOW! What is your biggest fear?

EmC: Alice Shopping!

FWWBH: Would you kiss Emmett's Girl 47?

EMC: Sure! She's cute. (A/N See what I do for my faithful reviewers?)

FWWBH: What's your most visited webpage?

EmC: It's a tie between The Disney website, -I love all the games- and also the wiggles website- You know Bella's not alone when she says she loves the wiggles!

QueenSteph(dot)com(dot)au: How many women have you been with?

EmC: I'm not liable to answer that question because Rosalie might come and rip my head off.

FWWBH: What's your career of choice?

EmC: For me or someone else?

FWWBH: Either.

EmC: Pole Dancer's for Rosalie, Alice and Bella, a door to door salesperson for Edward, a psychiatrist for Jasper and a-

EC (Edward Cullen): Emmett, you did not just call my wife a pole dancer! (Girls Sammy (Who has a sign saying Team Edward cause Jacob doesn't sparkle), Krissy and allikittenkat1 swoon seeing Edward rush on stage to protect his wife)

EmC: Well, Eddie, you'd have to admit they'd make fine-

EC: Stop thinking that!

EmC: Alright, alright! And the job for me would be… A children's TV show host! Yeah, I'd like that.

The Young Authoress: Who, besides Bella, have you lost an arm wrestle to?

EmC: NO ONE! EVER! Except maybe Rosalie, but only when I let her!

FWWBH: What were you doing at 3am this morning?

EmC: Rosalie!

FWWBH: Have you ever kissed someone and regretted it?

EmC: Yes! Jasper was sending out waves of lust for God knows what reason, and I happened to be standing too close to Edward and… well, you get the rest.

Becky Scarlett-Cullen: Have you ever tried, or used steroids?

EmC: No way! This stuff is all natural muscle!

FWWBH: Have you ever been naked in public?

EmC: Hell yeah!!! Who hasn't? Our family once even went and lived in a nudist colony for a-

Ping

FWWBH: (Silently curses, turns to Kisses of Chocolate and new assistant time keeper Hymnophile) You couldn't have twisted the timer back a bit?

KoC & Hp: (Mumble apologies) We were stunned by his hotness.

FWWBH: (Turns back to Emmett) So Emmett, final question, who would you turn gay for?

EmC: Tyler Crowley!

FWWBH: What?

EmC: Kidding! I know the drill; I have to mumble the proper answer into your ear! (Mumbles into ear)

FWWBH: Oh! Thank God, that's MUCH better. You scared me there for a second! Thanks for coming today and it's been great speaking to you! Next Week, by popular demand, Jasper should be making an appearance!

(Cheers from audience especially Jasper Whitlock Luver) Don't forget to ask to be in the audience, because this week, ONE lucky asker will get to meet Jasper BEFORE THE SHOW STARTS! And harass him as much as you want… Good Luck!

Another Chapter, for your benefit. Reviews please, 20 as usual. You don't have to log in AND I will even write a brilliant review for you:

Hiya! Great Chapter I loved it! Keep writing. My favourite character is --- and I want to be in his/her chapter! Don't forget to tell me who Emmett would turn gay for!

Copy and Paste, fill in the blanks and you have yourself and awesome review! Of course, individual reviews are promoted, so it would be great if I could have one :)

Love to have any questions of comments you want to ask myself or a character!

Love (Peace and Harmony)

FWWBH (Fuzzy Wuzzy With Bad Haircut)

PS: In relation to the previous chapter title, Jacob had Swan, Mason, Cullen added to his name because he and Nessie are together so he'll be part of the Cullen clan if he marries her. The names were supposed to be in brackets, but you can't put that in chapter titles, so it turned out like a normal name.