Don't forget to take time to vote in my poll, I really want to know what you all think about my idea!

Hold on, 300 reviews?

I'm in shock. You being so NICE made me feel so guilty I just had to put in Rosalie and Carlisle's answers in this chapter. I'll add them in at the bottom- but don't forget to review, or I won't be so nice next time!

And I expect lots of thank-you's! :D

FWWBH: Hiya all! It's about 2am in the morning where I am, and I'm writing this chapter especially for you because I know I'm not going to have time tomorrow. Again, thanks for the 300 reviews, but I have found a way to repay you! (See above authors note). Today's guest is soft, caring, gentle and has a thing for interior decorating! Please welcome the "Cuddly" Cullen, Esme!

(Loud applause from audience Pimmy Jalmer holds up sparkly pony signs. Grrovvyhevens crash tackles Emse onto the stage. Mysterious Reviewer try's to kidnap Esme, but is stopped by security.)

lolgirl607: WE LOVE YOU ESME!

EsC (Esme Cullen): Hello everyone!

FWWBH: So, Esme, what have you been up to lately?

EsC: Well, Carlisle and I went on vacation to Europe for a little while which was nice, and I've also recently started to redecorate the house and of course, with Nessie and Jacob now part of the family, I've had to add a few extra rooms in!

FWWBH: Have you been watching the show so far?

EsC: Of course! Some of the questions you've come up with are ingenious, as are those of the audience! Very funny.

FWWBH: I hope your prepared, and good luck, because your time starts… NOW!

FWWBH: Where did Carlisle propose to you?

EsC: On Isle Esme after he first brought it for me. The poor guy was so nervous though, he could barley get the words out!

Theevilcookiemonster: do you have a favourite child, and if so, who?

EsC: Don't tell anyone, but I love Emmett. He's just so much like a little kid, I can't help thinking of him as my baby.

SarahtheEmpath: How many things did Emmett destroy yesterday in the house?

EsC: Jasper and Emmett had a wrestling match, so they broke more than usual. I think they ruined 27 items before we got them to take the fight outside. And then the destruction of the trees started!

fefe-foreverobsessed: Have you ever gotten totally mad at Carlisle for anything? If so what did he did and what did you do about it?

EsC: There are very few situations in which I get mad at Carlisle and even when I do, we sort it out responsibly. Well, most of the time anyway…

StefanLover12: Before you were turned into a vampire by Carlisle, why did you go cliff diving?

EsC: Well, I was a bit upset… But learn this lesson kids, CLIFF DIVING IS NOT GOOD!

FWWBH: But look what happened to you and Bella, you both got the men of your dreams, and all through cliff diving!

(Murmurs from the audience, all relating to going cliff diving later in the afternoon)

emily445: Would you rather give up furniture or sex?

EsC: Um… that's a hard question…

Carlisle Cullen: (girls swoon) NO ITS NOT! Tell them Esme… ESME?????

FWWBH: Have you heard anything about the nudist colony?

EsC: Not much. However, I do know that, thanks to Jasper's gift, Edward attracted a lot of unwanted MALE attention!

CullenBlackForever: Did you ever think about giving up any of your children?

EsC: No! I love them all too much! Although sometimes when they break my furniture, I could kill them!

EmmettsGirl47: How do you get your kids to be so respectful towards you and Carlisle, and each other?

EsC: Well, they are all over half a century old!!! If they can't behave now, then there's no hope for them! Jasper also helps by calming everyone down and Alice always gives us warning when anyone's going to throw a MAJOR hissie fit!

Mrsjaperhale: What did you think when you went back to Isle Esme after Nessie's birth and found the feathers and headboard?

EsC: I was a bit confused about that, and a bit upset as I was very fond of that bed. However, it's always good to have a chance to redecorate!

Mrsjaperhale: What/who do you love more, your house or your family?

EsC: Definitely my family!!! With houses, there's always going to be new ones, or different styles, but my family lasts forever… literally!

FWWBH: If you won the lottery, who would you call first?

EsC: Alice would call ME first! And Anyway, why would I need to enter the lottery?

Krissy: What's the weirdest or funniest punishment you ever gave the rest of the family?

EsC: There's too many to count! Some of my favourite ones include making them eat human food, going to counselling or taking away all shopping privileges.

Krissy: What's the worst thing your family ever did to the house?

EsC: Well, it's collapsed a few times, been on fire and was spray painted pink with sparkles!

Lollyluvsya: What is the craziest thing you have ever told Emmett, Jasper and Edward off for?

EsC: There's another one with too many to count! Although the whole pink sparkles thing was a bit disturbing. One of my personal favourites was when they got Mike Newton drunk and made him go up in school assembly and convince everyone of his undying love for sock puppets, Blinky his cat and Edward!

Vampire chaud: Have you ever killed any of the nurses for lusting after Carlisle?

EsC: No! They don't know what their doing. Now if Carlisle lusted after one of the nurses that would be a DIFFERENT story!

Vampire chaud: Who is your celebrity crush?

EsC: Patrick Dempsey!

Vampire chaud: Can you sing like Snow White?

EsC: Sure! I'm a vampire, I can do anything. (A/N That is so becoming my new motto!)

Vampire chaud: How many headboards have you and Carlisle broken?

EsC: No comment!!!

Ping

FWWBH: Good answers Esme!

EsC: Thanks! So do you want to know the big question?

FWWBH: Yes, but first I have to ask it. Esme, who would you turn gay for?

(Bends over and murmurs into FWWBH's ear)

FWWBH: Nice, I get that! It's been a pleasure talking to you. Next week, we'll be having on the ENTIRE werewolf pack! So feel free to ask any of them (e.g. Leah, Seth, Quil, Embry, Sam) any questions you might have!

Review and receive Edward and all the hot Twilight character plushies!

Sorry the chapter's not my best work, i'm a little tired... :)

Love (And hopefully sleep now!)

FWWBH (Fuzzy Wuzzy With Bad Haircut)

Carlisle Cullen would turn gay for Patrick Dempsey from Gray's Anatomy. Props to dramaqueen-144 who guessed correctly! And Vampire chaud, who must be Alice in disguise, as she said that Esme should have a crush on him!

Rosalie Hale on the other hand, said she would turn gay for Heidi of the Volturi- as they both shared a passion for fast cars and designer Italian shoes. Props to vampire chaud who guessed that too!