Sorry, It's been a whole week! :D

FWWBH: After the long wait, I'm glad to say this chapter is now posted (No duh!) and it gives me great pleasure in being able to bring to you the gang of forks high school… Mike, Jessica, Eric, Tyler, Angela, Ben, Mr Banner, Coach Clapp aaaaaaaaaaand Mrs Cope!

(A mixture of booing and cheering is heard from the audience, most of which love Angela and Ben, but also hate Lauren and Mike.)

FWWBH: Hey guys, its nice to see you all here today, and I'm glad that you could come!

Angela: We're glad to be here!

Lauren: Yeah, whatever! Like I really care, I could be doing other things- *adds in dreamy voice* -like Carlisle Cullen!

Pimmy Jalmer: SLUT! That's MY good doctor that you're talking about! (Comes forward and whacks Lauren with her personally signed Dr Carlisle Plushie –which squirts real blood from its fangs-)

FWWBH:*Laughs* anyway, to save any of you from further injury, your time starts… NOW! Tyler, are you really African American in real life?

Tyler: I'm whatever you want me to be baby!

FWWBH/Audience: *Shudders*

Bella251: Mike, Do you own any pink, frilly, or other girly underwear? Or have you ever tried on a bra? Be truthful!

Mike: Oooooooh! Yeah! Wanna see? I'm wearing one now! Alice took me shopping last week. She helped me realise that it's all the rage now for guys to wear girl's undies! Am I right? (Raises hand for high-five)

*Crickets chirp*

Bella251: Jessica, Have you ever planned an extreme painful way to kill Bella so you could have Mike and be the center of attention?"

Jessica: HOW could you know?!! Oh… wait… um… Jokes? I mean, like… no?

Bella251: And also, In the Twilight movie, you ask Bella how your boobs look, um... are you gay?

Jessica: *shifty eyes* No! Um… an unrelated question, is the any history of psychic power in your family?

Bella251: Eric, have you ever tried building a robot and giving it to Bella for Valentines Day?

Eric: I believe that chess sets are a more personalised and interactive present.

Bella251: Oh, and Angela, are you a witch? If so, Bella would like it if you join the club...

Angela: *Evil Cackle* HE he he he he he… -Strokes Black cat- No.

Lolgirl607: Angela… OMV U R AWESOME! Do you want to come over to my house and hang out sometime?

Angela: Totally! I'd love to! It's always good to have new friends.

Anggel of Apathy: I have a question for Mike: Are you sure your obsession with Bella isn't just a cover for your real feeling towards Edward?

Mike: Edward! *Sighs Longingly* His marble sculpted chest, soft smooth bronze hair, full perfect red lips and his masculine strength… no, I love Bella!

YoUkNoWyOuLoVeMe606: NO! Bad Mike, bad! You like me? REMEMBER! Were getting married on a beach in Hawaii… Or maybe that was Emmett…

Emmett's Girl 47: Coach Clapp, Why on earth would you let Bella play sports, when you know it will only lead to injuries ?

Coach Clapp: Bella Swan? She's an excellent athlete! And besides, PE is mandatory, I've already tried to stop her.

Momiji's Secret Girlfriend: Coach Clapp, Have you ever had a fling with Mr Banner ?

Coach Clapp: ( Mr Banner and Coach Clap drop their interlocked hands) No, never, strictly professional relationship. You know, late hours alone in a classroom… discussing WORK!

Jasper Whitlock Luver: Lauren, are you always that bitchy like in Twilight etc, or are you just acting?

Lauren: Bitchy? How DARE you do that to me… you… you… Arghh! I mean, just look at your pathertic little face and-

Jasper Whitlock Luver: I think you just answered my question.

Lollyluvsya: Tyler, would you try to run over Bella again because she's going out with Edward?

Tyler: Edward! *Sighs Longingly* Running over her didn't really do anything for me. So no, probably not.

The Dawn Is Breaking: Ok, so, were doing add in a bit of "The Chasers War on Everything" (Yay Chasers!), and play "Miss Ten Questions"… So, I ask all the questions at once and you answer when I'm done, comprende? So:

Jessica and Lauren, how many boys had you slept with?

Mike, do you wish that you had a foursome with Edward, Emmett and Jasper?

Eric, how many times in a day do you get your head dunked in the toilet?

Mr Banner, are you actually a paedophilic old fart who rapes young teenage girls, 'cause Jess and Lauren told me you slept with them.

Ben, did you stop growing at the age of 12?

Tyler, were you charged for the attempted murder of Bella?Did you bribe your way out of the charges?

Coach Clapp, how many times had someone thrown a ball at your goolies?

Mrs Cope, is it true that you had this fantasy involving you, Edward Cullen and bananas?

Angela, CAN I PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE have Edward's phone number and his address?

And this is for all of you - Can you guys do a redention of the Llama Song? Or at least Banana Phone?

Jessica: What? Like, twenty? I mean… none! That's like, wrong!

Mike: Mmmmmmmm… foursome… ahhhh…

Eric: I resent the implication that I am in any achievable way at all a nerd! And it's only seven times per WEEK…

Coach Clapp: I think my voice is now permanently higher.

Lauren: Mmmmmmmm… Boys… ahhh…

Mr Banner: *Creepy Eyes* (Looking at TDIB) Pretty, so prett- OH! Shiny thing!

Angela: Hey! Ben is perfect the way he is! And just for that, you can't have Edward's address! *leans in and mumbles* But his phone number is…

Mrs Cope: Mmmmmmmmm… Banana's… ahhh…

Tyler: We collectively refuse to sing ANY song! *Audience boo*

Jasper'sSoulMate: Who CARES about them? Altogether Now!

EVERYONE: Ring ring ring ring banana PHOOOOOOONE!

Heres a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama

Ring ring ring ring bananular PHOOOOOOONE!

Fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama, llama, DUCK-

Jasper Hale: *stumbles on stage* Argh… My super hearing! I've been sent to tell you to stop singing!

Jasper'sSoulMate: OMC! JASPER! (Leaps on top of him and starts to make out passionately.)

Alice Cullen: Oi! My Jazzy, Mine!

JaspersSoulMate:*Growls*

FWWBH: SECURITY! Sorry Girls. And Jasper.

Vampire Note: Question for Mike If I told you that Bella fell for a vampire who at one point wanted to eat her and reads mind, over you and she thought of you as an annoying golden retriever, what would you do?

Mike: Yeah RIGHT! Like that would ever happen! My God you have a good imagination, you should write a book about that! But I would add in werewolves somewhere, because no good story is complete without a couple of werewolves.

Mrsjaperhale: Mike I love you and always have, and always will. I don't know what i would do without you *gets down on one knee and pulls out ring* Mike will you marry me...

Ha! Jokes. Who would want to marry you (other then Jessica of course) oh by the way hows it going between you two?

Mike: I'm... I'm... DEVESTATED! I thought someone actually loved me for a second!

Jess: We broke up. He has mother issues.

Mrsjaperhale: Lauren how is your hair and your modelling "career" going? (Refer to new moon FAQ's on Stephenie Meyer's website, (Website at bottom of page)

Lauren: God, just becuase your jealous of my extreme godliness doesn't mean you have to like, tell everyone how I totally have a modelling contract, which I totally do! The agency is just taking a while to get back to me...

Mrsjaperhale: Mr. Banner does it ever get annoying how impossible it is to fail the Cullen's?

Mr Banner: Sometimes I just wish that ANY of them would get even one question wrong! Its like they can read my mind, or see the future!

Krissy: How many times have any of you had...M rated thoughts about Edward Cullen?

Mrs Cope: I think I speak for all of us when I say, SEVERAL times a minute! He's the Mc Steamy of Forks High School!

Krissy: Does Edward ever dazzle the teachers other than Mrs. Cope, Coach Clapp and for something and if so, does it work?

Coach Clapp: Dazzling Eh? Thats what you call it. Yes it works, sometimes too well!

Krissy: Did Tyler or any of the other guys ever think about purposely trying to run Bella over (but not really running her over)in hopes she would go out with him for them to repay her?

Tyler: Did I think about it? I actually did it!

Eric: Yeah, and we all know how THAT turned out! Give it up she's not into you dude!

Tyler: Shut up.

Krissy: How did it actually play out when Jessica and Lauren tried to ask Edward out?

Lauren: What? I would NEVER ask a guy out. Edward came and BEGGED me to go out with him. I told him that I'd have to think about it, but I decided that he wasn't really my type.

Heart of Diamonds: What, you DON'T like hot guys? What are you, insane? Wait, don't answer that.

Ping,

Hymnophile: I sped it up a bit after I realised that Lauren would be blabbing on for a little while.

FWWBH: Thanks! Good thinking. So guys, that was an interesting couple of questions. Any comments?

Angela: No, were all good, anything else?

FWWBH: All you have left is… who would you turn gay for?

(Jessica, Angela, Ben, Mr Banner, Coach Clapp and Mrs Cope lean forward and mumble into FWWBH's ear… everything's fine until we get to Mike…)

Mike: I would turn gay for… Edward Cullen!

Eric: Hold on… I thought you said that you didn't like him?

Mike: What do you care?

Eric: He's MY gay crush! You disowned him… pay the price!

Tyler: Hold on bitches… this guys MINE! The cryptic stares he gives me, the way his mouth turns up in that little smile- I just KNOW he likes me!

Mike: *SLAP* (to Tyler)

Audience: -shocked silence-

Tyler: *SLAP* (to Mike)

Eric: *SLAP* (to Tyler)

Mike:*SLAP* (to Eric)

Tyler:*SLAP* (to Mike)

Mike:*SLAP* (to Tyler)

Eric:*SLAP*(to himself)

Tyler: *SLAP* (to Ben)

Ben: What the hell? I don't like Edward!

Kisses of Chocolate: Shouldn't you call security, or stop them, or read my new story or SOMETHING?

FWWBH: HELL no. This is first rate entertainment; it can't get any better than this!

I hope you liked the first chapter in 7 days... that doesn't really sound too bad... maybe I've been spoiling you!

NEXT TIME: The Volturri Prt 1: Marcus, Caius and Aro- all questions accepted!

THE REAL ROVE IS COMING BACK ON! Yesssssss!

Seth would turn gay for … REMUS LUPIN! Sorry I forgot to add it in last chapter and thanks to Eclipsing Harmony for the idea! And Nessie would turn gay for... Dora The Explorer! Thats why The Wiggles held no meaning for her. :)

This is the link to the FAQ's for new moon in relation to the modelling career question. http://www(dot)stepheniemeyer(dot)com/nm_faq(dot)html

Don't forget to review and vote in my poll!

Love (at the safest time of day)

FWWBH (FuzzyWuzzyWithBadHaircut)

P.S While your waiting for my next chapter, go and read: Love me, Don't hate me. By Heart of Diamonds

Bella is best friends with Alice Cullen and knows everyone in the Cullen family except for Alice's mysterious older brother Edward. She begins to see red eyes in the bushes and little does she know, but someone is after her. Who? Why? Is Edward involved?

I really love this story! One of my friends wrote it so I had a hand in the creation and ideas that are in it. It's absolutely fab-u-lous!!!!!!

The link's in my favourite stories on my profile page!