Next Chapter is the Nomads and your other favourite vampires that havent been on yet, e.g the irish coven, the egyptian coven, Garett, Peter, Mary, and Randall etc.
The Who would you turn gay for? That is at the end of this chapter is for both this chapter and the last. Sorry for forgetting.
And Sorry I took so long to update, really. There is an EXTRA preview of the Nudist colony on my profile to say sorry. Don't forget to review, and PM me if you want to talk or comment! The poll results are also in.
SORRY.
FWWBH: -in a slightly congested voice- Hey everyone, and welcome back after a little longer wait than normal. A few of you got a little confused when I said who would be in this chapter. Today is Phil, Renee, Sue, Billy and Charlie- not the nomads and stuff. So, if you would like to put your hands together, as they come onto the stage!!!!
Audience: *Cheering*
Sk8rChick2355/ cynicinafishbowl- - WE LOVE JASPER, HE IS A HUMAN CUPCAKE! WE LOVE JASPER, HE IS A HUMAN CUPCAKE!
FWWBH: So, lets get straight into things, Your time starts... NOW!
Anna-pixie: Renee, what did you see in Phil that you didn't see in Charlie?
Renee: Muscles, and no moustache.
Lolgirl607: Charlie and Renee, are you okay with Bella being a vampire? Wait, do you even know the whole story yet..? If you don't then read this! *hands over copy of the twilight series*
Renee: What? Are you JOKING! Bella, dangerous? Yeah right! She faints at the sight of blood!
Charlie: Yes, Very strange *shifty eyes*. I wouldn't know anything about that!
Lolgirl607: Billy, how is it like to have a werewolf as a son?
Billy: It's awesome, but also a big responsibility. You have to feed him and clean him and take him to the vet. You also have to walk him and clean up when he poops. You can't shed the responsibility onto others, that's not fair because it was you who wanted a werewolf in the first place! Oh, and it's terrible when they get fleas or worms.
SarahtheEmpath: Charlie, Have you ever tried (or thought about) shooting Edward? Go on, I dare you... you'll be in for a suprise... :)
Charlie: Edward Cullen? Gosh, shooting him would be the highlight of my LIFE!
SarahtheEmpath: If Charlie ever tries to shoot Edward again... Let's just say Forks will need a new Police chief...
Team Edward: Yeah! Damn straight!
Team Jacob: -in creepy voices- Do it… DO IT! SHOOT HIM!
Vampire Note: Charlie, what was your first thought when you saw Jacob get naked in front of you?
Charlie: Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. It was something along the lines of… God he has a hot body!
Team Jacob: Finally, AMEN TO THAT!
Charlie: And then my second thought was "what the hell! Is Jacob GAY?"
Team Edward: AMEN TO THAT! I mean, it just makes so much SENSE!
SarahtheEmpath: Renee, don't you wonder where the hell your married daughter went?
Renee: Hmmm… yes, sometimes. But you know, I also wonder where my phone bill and curling iron went. That reminds me, Phil can we go skydiving?
Phil: No sweetie, just have your medication. And think of bunnies.
Renee: Oh! BUNNIES!
SarahtheEmpath: Billy, why the hell are you so calm about vampire Bella all of a sudden!
Billy: Confucius say, one cannot love one's own self, if one is not loving all of things, including malicious bloodthirsty vampires.
SarahtheEmpath: Phil, why have you never said a single word in the whole series?
Phil: … *in sign language* I'm actually mute in the book and no one has ever told you about it.
SarahtheEmpath: And Sue, are you and Charlie getting married?
Sue: Well DUH! I've picked out all the colour schemes, the dress, the decoration and the reception! I've also set the date, sent out the invitations and baked the cake! He just needs to ask me now…
CullenBlackForever: Renee how do you feel about Bella being a vampire?
Renee: A what?
CullenBlackForever: Oh, RIGHT! You don't know, um… think about… bunnies?
Renee: OH! Bunnies…
CullenBlackForever: Charlie are Billy and you secretly gay and dating 'cause in some FanFic's you are?
Charlie: Well, gosh… Aro was right when we went out for a dinner date last week. You guys really do know all of our secrets!
dramaqueen-144: Charlie: How does it feel to know your son-in-law once was a part of a nudist colony?
Charlie: Rawr! Kinky! Pictures, anyone? Come on!!!!
Jacob Black: That's what I said!
Everyone: …
Billy: Jacob?
Jacob: Oh. Hi dad. I'll just be leaving now.
PimmyJalmer: *Tries to attack somebody with her Carlisle vampire doll that shoots blood out of his fangs, but misses.*
dramaqueen-144: What would you think if I told you Vampires, Werewolves and the loch-ness monster were real?
Renee: The loch-ness monster? Cool! Hey Phil, can we go parasailing of the coast of east Africa?
Phil: Maybe honey pie. But don't you want to think of-
Renee: Bunnies!
Phil: Exactly.
The Dawn is Breaking: More Ten Questions! (Seriously, are you getting sick of these?)
Charlie, what would you include in Obama's stimulus package?
Do you want to be a vampir- Ops! Too much info!
Renee, what sort of piano do you have at home? Kawai? Yamaha? Steinway?
Moody-Doody-Doo?
Admit it; you actually wanted Edward for yourself, didn't you?
Phil, did I ever tell you that baseball sucks?
Admit it; you had a crush on the Cullen girls, didn't you?
Billy, I've heard this rumour somewhere that you lived during the time of the Cullens. However, because of your, erm, leg condition, you didn't turn into a wolf. Is that true?
Can I get Jacob's phone number? I just want to, um, say something to him...-shifty eyes-
Sue, did your husband die because he had one too many fish fry?
Tell us the truth - Is Leah a she-male?
Charlie: Definitely more money for fishing, and giant plasma screen TV budget should have been included in Obamas package, and what is it you were saying about Bells? I hope it was need to know only.
Renee: I have a baby grand. No literally, a baby grand. Like one of those little plastic rainbow coloured ones that little kids play with? They're SUPER AWESOME! And Edward is perrrrrrrrty, like girls and sofas and…
The Dawn Is Breaking: Bunnies?
Renee: EXACTLY!
FWWBH: *mumbles* What is it with her and bunnies?
Phil: Did you mean baseball sucks, or I suck at baseball? And who doesn't have a crush on the Cullen boys! I mean, have you seen them!
The Dawn Is Breaking: I said Cullen Girls, not boys.
Phil:Right. *Shifty eyes* Moving on!
Billy: No, I wasn't here in the time of the Cullens. And yes, it was most likely because of my leg condition that I didn't change into a wolf, although that suits me fine. And Jakes number? Well, if you need to tell him something… Its 0495826581947464917y482. (A/N I wouldn't suggest calling that number!)
Sue: No, my last husband died of boredom AND fish fry. And Leah? No comment! We love her the way she is! Right?
Audience: … *crickets chirp*
PimmyJalmer: Wow. I love my part in the Voultri 1. Can I please attack somebody with my Carlisle vampire doll that shoots out blood out of his fangs? PLEASE? God I just love this. And I'm making a T-Shirt thats says.. uh i don't know yet.
EDWARD'Swife: Edward if you are back stage I love you. I know you love Bella but I love you so much my friends think I am InSaNe!
Billy: You do know this is our chapter, right? Not Edwards.
Heart Of Diamonds: So what, Edwards awesome! He deserves to be in EVERY chapter!
EDWARD'Swife: Exactly. A question for Charlie. I know Bella and Edward might be listening but do you ever wish that Bella picked someone else to be with?*mumbles* then Edward would be all mine...
Charlie: Well, Jake would have been my first choice for Bells, but Edward's still pretty hot! I don't mind him.
EDWARD'Swife: Damn
Jasper'sSoulMate: Charlie: Do you really hate Edward deep down inside because he stole Bella from you? And do you really like Renesmee? Cause I… LOVE HER *cough* yes, I totally love her....*shifty eyes*
Charlie: I love Nessie! She the one great thing that has come out of this whole thing! She's so adorable.
Jasper'sSoulMate: Billy, OMGosh do you really have like massive abbs under all wheelchair charades? And can Edward back up that theory?
Edward: How am I supposed to know if he does? It's not like he goes around thinking about how hot his abbs are! Well, not always… And by the way, for the girls on the timer, I think it should have dinged by now.
Hymnophile: OMC! Edward Cullen just talked to me! Deep breaths in… and out… in… and out…
Kisses of Chocolate: Wow. Ok. Right. Sorry!
Ping
FWWBH: And we are out of time! Just one question left for the five of you, who would you turn gay for?
Billy: Well, I would…
Charlie: Um…
Sue: Obviously…
Renee: BUNNIES! And…
Phil: As long as no one else hears…
FWWBH: Well, those were interesting, and certainly unexpected! See you all soon!
Don't hate me, really don't! I've been sick, it's not my fault. Have you ever had one of those times that when you miss school for a couple of days and then come back, like every single one of your teachers has given you an assignment?
Sorry for the long wait. The nudist colony story is coming along GREAT! I'm almost halfway through. And Edwards's chapter is good too. Oh, and go and read Love me, don't hate me by Heart of Diamonds. I'm SERIOUS! If you don't review to her story, I'm not updating mine!!!
And thanks to Apil for the awesome help on the Spanish translation. I'm having diahorrea, so stay away from me' in Spanish means: "tengo diarrea asi que alejate de mi' or 'ahorita tengo diarrea asi que si valoras tu vida huye! The second literally means: right now i have diahorrea so if you value your life run away! I owe her one!
Love (And wadded up tissues)
FWWBH (FuzzyWuzzyWithBadHaircut)
Who would they turn gay for? Well, of course:
Jane: Barbie
Alec: Wormtail
Felix: Hugh Jackman
Heidi: Gianna (why do you think they kept her around for so long?)
Renata: Her Cat
Demetri: Jacob/Edward combo.
Chelsea: Marge Simpson
Gianna: A Prada executive or Rosalie.
Tanya: Anyone and anything!
Kate: Leah
Elezar: Brad Pitt
Carmen: Nessie
Irina: Herself