Author's Note: Yeah, generally, I'm not a fan of the-book-that-shall-not-be named, but that's mainly just because I hate what Meyer did to Jacob. In my opinion, the book can exist if she just leaves Jake out of it, as horrible as it was. Anyhow, this is a bit of an AU from a point in BD. You'll figure out which once you read.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. I'm only responsible for their fictional corruption.
III.
"You want me to what?"
"I told you," Edward almost growls, his crazed, dark eyes shooting up from the dirt. It's only then that Jacob notices that Edward's eyes are nearly black, his lips pulled back over his teeth. He's literally growling at him, and Jacob would have laughed if the guy didn't look about ready to burst into flames. Jacob casts a wary glance overhead though he knows that this is Forks and it's overcast. And he also knows that vampires don't spontaneously burst into flame, as much as he'd have liked that. "I want you to talk some sense into her. Whatever it takes." Edward's normally calm, flowing voice is laced with pain and irritation now, his glare set upon Jacob.
Jacob blinks at him, breathes out loudly through his nose. "If she's not listening to you, Cullen…"
"You know her, Jacob Black." Edward cuts him off, waving his hand at him in a dismissive sort of way. The vampire is pacing across the driveway in front of the sprawling Cullen mansion now, and Jacob stands behind him, hands in pockets, looking off to the side. "You know her like I never, ever will. I don't know why that is, but you can read her while I can't. And as much as it kills me to admit this," Edward offers an ironic smile now, his lips quirking upward briefly before returning to their frown. "She won't listen to me. But she might listen to you. You're…persuasive. Obviously."
Jacob's mind inadvertently jumps to that day in the woods, the Newborn battle. Bella had kissed him then, kissed him like she meant it. And he knew she'd only done it to keep him from throwing himself off a cliff (not that he'd actually do that; that was more Bella's style than his), he knew that she'd meant it. And he knew that she'd felt what he felt, too. He'd managed to convince her of that much, at least. He'd convinced Bella that she loved him (too).
Not that it made any difference in the end. The blood-sucker had won, fair and square.
"Could you please control yourself?" Edward hisses, eyes closing as he rubs his temples with his fingers. Jacob does his best to look embarrassed, cuts off his train of thought.
"Sorry," he says. He's not completely sorry, because he still thinks (knows) Bella would have been better off with him rather than Edward. They could have had a family together, a life together. Children with dark hair and a skin-tone just lighter than his. Children that wouldn't suck the life out of her like his spawn was doing…
"I know," Edward growls. Really growls, and Jacob takes a step back instinctively. He's not afraid of the vampire. The wolf could easily take down one vamp, Jacob's sure of it. But he knows the rest of his coven won't be pleased, and neither will Bella. The last thing Jacob Black needs is to start a war. Edward sighs loudly, though he doesn't need to breathe, and composes himself. "And that's exactly what I'm asking of you. If it's a child Bella wants, then she can have one." Black eyes meet chocolate. Jacob looks away first, his cheeks darkening slightly with color.
"You can't be serious."
Edward nods ominously. "Believe me, it's not something I'm going to enjoy." A hollow laugh that sounds like old church bells (Bells, Bella, honey) rolls from Edward's lips. "But I'd rather have Bella alive and with your child than dead with mine." He's resolute, firm.
Jacob stares blankly at him. "She won't agree to that," he says. What he means is She already picked you. She wants your freaky, monster baby. Not mine. Jacob does his best not to meet Edward's eyes, tried to take hold of that lingering Alpha power he knows rests within him. He's been able to block the other wolves out before, just a little bit. Perhaps he can do the same with Edward?
But Edward shakes his head, takes a step forward so that he and Jacob are eye-to-eye. "Convince her," he snarls, his words like daggers. His tone softens, voice barely above a whisper. Jacob has to lean down to hear him. "Please. Not for me. For her."
"You think I want her to die?" Jacob replies, incredulous. He throws up his arms and turns to stalk back to the house. He tosses Edward a glance over his shoulder. "I'll try," he grumbles. "But I'm not making any promises…"
-
"Bells?" It's pitch black when he enters the Cullens' living room. The blinds are all pulsed against the nonexistent Forks sunlight and Jacob thinks that maybe she's trying to prepare herself for the eternal darkness that vampirism will bring. Then he remembers that she's not dead (yet) and takes a step farther into the room. "Are you okay?"
Bella grumbles and rolls over, a mass of blankets on the couch. She hauls herself to a crumpled, but technically upright, position and turns to stare at whoever's woken her up. The irritated expression on her face fades, pursed lips fading into a wry smile, and Jacob looks away, annoyed. She always looks so damn happy to see him and it makes no sense considering the choices she's made so far. "Oh," she says, brushing her greasy hair away from her face. "Hi, Jake. What's up?" Her tone is far too casual for the situation and Jacob just raises his eyebrows at her. Bella's smile remains for a moment before her face crumbles in pain.
Jacob's eyebrows arch higher.
Bella says nothing.
"Bella…" He draws out the syllables of her name and she just stares at him, eyes bright. She looks too pale, too skinny for someone carrying a baby, too sick. But she's still got that motherly glow about her, still wears that too-happy smile. The thing inside her is killing her and she's still smiling at him and motioning for him to come closer.
"Jake," she responds, wrapping an arm protectively over the bump in her stomach. Jacob sighs loudly and Bella gives him a firm stare. "I know what you're thinking…"
"No," Jacob says walking to meet her at the couch. He hesitates before just sitting cross-legged on the floor, his back against the couch. Bella ruffles his hair in what he thinks is supposed to be a teasing way, but he shivers and moves his head away. Bella frowns. "I really don't think you know just what I'm thinking…" It had always been the other way around, anyway. Jacob had always been able to read Bella, and sometimes, she could read him, too. But he was never quite such an open book as she was. And Jacob knew this was a long shot. She loved that baby growing inside her, draining her, probably as much (if not more) as she loved her vampire.
"Well, give it to me, then," Bella sighs, rolling her eyes at him in a patronizing way. She's acting like he's trying to sell her some sort of worthless product, not about to campaign to save her life.
Jacob echoes her sigh. "You can't do this, Bella. It's killing you from the inside out…"
"He isn't an it, Jacob."
"Oh," he says dryly. "It's a boy? Congrats." The sarcasm dripping from his tone is almost tangible. Jacob turns around so that's he's on his knees, their faces very close, nearly touching. He can feel her warm breath playing about his skin. "No. This is selfish, Bella. You're going to die. Don't you get it? If it –he- doesn't kill you before you can even deliver, then there's no way you'll make it out anyway. How's that baby going to get out of you anyway? You die, the kid lives, and you hurt everyone else." Bella opens her mouth to argue, but Jacob places his fingers at her lips to silence her.
"No, listen! You'll leave me behind, okay. But not just me. But him, too! He's out there begging me to convince you not to go through with it. He says if you die, he goes with you." Jacob shakes his head, rubs at his eyes with the back of his hand. When he next speaks, his voice is quieter, more subdued. "You'll leave the pixie vampire behind, and her mate, and all the rest of them. And what about Charlie? What am I supposed to tell him, huh? Don't do this, Bella. Please."
She's silent for a moment, and Jacob thinks that maybe, just maybe, he's finally gotten to her. But she just shakes her head, her arm tightening around her middle. "It's my baby, Jake," Bella answers. "And he's Edward's, too. I want to leave a part of him here. A part of me, too. I won't be gone…Not really."
"You're insane," Jacob snaps, leaning away from Bella's touch. She's reaching for him, asking for his permission to go and kill herself. And he won't give it. Edward hasn't stopped fighting for her life yet, and neither will he. "Edward doesn't want a piece of you, Bella. He wants all of you."
"It's not his choice."
"You won't see your kid's first day of school, Bella. You won't see me graduate. You won't see if Alice's next vision comes true." Jacob's words are desperate, his eyes searching hers for some spark of realization. She's stubborn and her jaw is set.
"I don't care."
"You don't care about me enough to live?" Jacob says quietly, leaning away from her and getting to his feet. "Fine. But what about Edward? You don't care about him enough to live?" He slides his hands into his pockets and heads for the door. He doesn't look back as his hand closes around the doorknob. Cold, like everything else in this house. Cold, like she'll be soon. "I'm not gonna stick around and watch you die, Bella. I'm leaving."
"Jake, wait!"
He turns around, shoulders raised in anticipation. "You…you won't stay with me?"
Jacob shakes his head. His jaw is set now. "No. What's the point?"
Bella's reaching for him again, arms outstretched and asking him a question. He thinks it's different this time, though. It's strange, because he can't quite read what she's thinking now. She's not his open book anymore. "I don't want to lose my baby, Jacob. I love him…Both of them."
Jacob sighs. "You can have a baby, Bella. But one that doesn't kill you would be nice."
She stares at him, lips pursed as if that's the most ridiculous suggestion in the world. "You want me to substitute my baby for some generic substitute?"
"No," Jacob answers too quickly. Bella looks at him expectantly. "With…my baby." These words are spoken to the floor, his gaze directed on his shoelaces. Bella is silent, and Jacob looks up. Her expression is one of shock, but he doesn't see anger. Traces of surprise, but not anger.
"That's…ridiculous."
"He's already given me permission," Jacob says almost mockingly. "Just…live. If not for me, for him." Jacob's annoyed that he's basically regurgitating Edward's previous words. But he can't think of another way to say it. "Please. And we don't have to…Just, live, okay? If I can see you turn nineteen, that'd be great."
Bella lifts her gaze to his. "Fine."
-
"There will be some pressure, Bella," Carlisle says from his end of the table. Edward is standing resolutely at her side, her fingers gripped tightly in his. "And then we're going to have to give you some blood…It looks like you've lost a good deal." Edward tenses at this, but his expression soon relaxes. He's stiff, standing at her side.
"Where's Jacob?" Bella asks suddenly, and Edward's calm demeanor falters, his forehead creasing before he rearranges his features into an indifferent stare.
"Outside. Why do you ask?"
"I think I…I'd like him to be here." Bella looks up at Edward. "Too," she tacks on, to reassure him that she's picked him. She just needs her best friend, too, that's all. Edward nods, almost imperceptibly, and then he's gone. In the blink of an eye he's gone, and right on his heels is Jacob. He offers Bella what he hopes is a reassuring smile before taking his place on Bella's other side.
"You stayed."
"I said I would," Jacob replies softly. He doesn't take her hand, but he brushes some hair from her sweaty face. Edward looks on in silence, but Jacob can almost feel the annoyance rolling off of him. This compromise…it's necessary, but it's not good for either of them. Or, really, for Bella. But there's no other way, is there?
"Alright, Bella," Carlisle says. "Here we go…"
Edward stands at her side, whispering reassurances in her ear as Jacob lingers on the other side, quiet, but radiating warmth. Bella finds she likes both, needs both, and she's not sure whether it's the drugs or her own thoughts that think it wouldn't be so bad to have them both. There's a crash and a relentless beeping, but it's all so far away that Bella doesn't notice when crimson pierces the air or when Edward's eyes turn pitch black. There's commotion, and shouting.
"What happened?"
"It's just a little bleeding. I got it."
"Get out of here!"
"I'm fine."
"Your eyes."
"I'm fine."
"I think you should-"
"I know what's best."
"Edward," Carlisle's voice breaks through the fog. "Go."
Bella feels him let go of her fingers and she's left with a numb, dragging sense of loss. But only a moment later, Edward's cold is replaced by Jacob's warmth and she drifts back off to her in-between state of awake and asleep. Jacob's massaging the back of her hand with his thumb. "Don't worry, Bells," he's saying. "I'm here."
He's always there.
-
When Bella wakes up, they're both there.
It's really kind of strange, since they're both completely quiet, Edward staring at the floor with such intensity that the meaning of life could have been written there and Jacob watching her. His eyes light up as soon as hers open, and he automatically reaches forward to brush her hair from her face. Edward looks up then and blinks. Jacob pulls his hand back.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like someone just ripped something out of me." Bella's going for a joke, but Edward and Jacob exchange worried glances. Bella licks her dry lips. "Could I get some water?" She looks at Edward and he nods, disappearing quickly. Bella turns her attention to Jacob. "Jake…"
He holds up a hand. "Don't worry about it. We don't have to do-" Jacob waves a hand as if to indicate that, says, "-anything."
Bella shakes her head. "I-" Edward returns with her glass of water and she accepts, gulping it down in one go. Edward sits down on her right and looks over the bed to meet Jacob's eyes. Jacob shrugs.
"Bella," Edward speaks first, his voice soft and measured. "I know this was a difficult decision for you, and I'm sorry that you had to do it. But we're both-" He looked over to Jacob, who nodded. "-we're both glad that you came to your senses. And…we've both decided that, if you want children, you should have them."
Bella blinks, staring between the two. Edward is leaning forward in his seat, both hands clasped around one of hers. Jacob is leaning back and away from them and he's not quite meeting her eyes.
"Edward thinks that…it would be best if you had a baby with someone you actually cared about. So…" Jacob's shoulders raise and fall in a shrug and he lifts his gaze from his hands to stare at her. "If you want, that is. Like I said, we don't have to."
Bella's gaze drifts to Edward, who looks impassive. "I…do want to." Edward nods. Jacob blinks. "To have a baby," she tacks on, and Edward's face seems to relax, just a bit. Jacob nods then. It's obvious that this is just a means to an end, as twisted as it is. But she's alive, so Edward will do whatever it takes to make her happy.
And, to be honest, Jacob's willing to take anything he can get.
Edward really doesn't enjoy being able to read thoughts in this moment.
-
"So," Bella says over the phone one Saturday night. It's nearly three months later. "When do you wanna do this?"
"You mean have sex?" Jacob says without faltering. Bella inhales sharply. So much for keeping things casual. "Jeez, Bells, you don't waste any time. I'm surprised you didn't get Edward into bed on the first date…" She doesn't say anything and Jacob switches the phone to the other ear. "I'm kidding, you know. Listen, I think, if we're really going to do this, it needs to be…right. I'm not just going to do it. It already feels wrong." Probably because she's married and not as in love with him as he is with her. But ignoring those facts, it's still not how he was raised to just take a girl home and sleep with her.
Even if it is Bella Swa- Cullen.
"Bella?"
"Jacob, are you asking me out on a date?"
"Well…" He rakes his fingers nervously through his hair. "Yeah, I am!"
"Fine. Pick me up at eight."
-
Dinner was awkward. Jacob had booked a table at this really fancy restaurant and he couldn't read the French names and she spilled a glass of wine all over her white blouse. It had been so terribly not them that they'd left after only finishing half of their meal and went for ice cream instead. They ended up in the movie theater watching the newest Saw movie (Saw Twelve or something). Bella had clung to Jacob's arm and buried her face into his side to avoid the gore, which made Jacob laugh and say You'd make a horrible vampire.
And now they're driving back into town in the Rabbit, Jacob at the wheel and Bella at his side with her feet thrown up on the dashboard. It reminded him so much of old times that it hurt, and Jacob had to look away to blink away the similarities. Then, Bella had her arms wrapped around her middle because she'd been broken. Now, she had one arm looped around her middle because she'd lost something dear to her. Silence had settled over them, and it wasn't really the silence that Jacob and Bella normally shared. It was heavy with the weight of what was to come and neither of them could come up with a way to break it.
"I think we should go to Charlie's place," Bella finally says, and Jacob looks over at her curiously. "He's in Port Angeles for the weekend."
"What about your…other family?" Not that Jacob had planned on going to the Cullen's place (because that would just be weird, and it would smell).
Bella knows what he means and so she answers with "Edward's hunting with Jasper." Jacob nods and maneuvers the car in the direction of Charlie's place. Again, he's hit with déjà vu. It feels a lot like they're coming back from one of their outings, fixing bikes or walking on the beach. Things had been so simple then.
Well, as simple as things could be when werewolves and vampires were involved.
Jacob pulls the Rabbit into the driveway and kills the engine. Neither of them moves. "I had fun tonight, Jake," Bella murmurs, and she's grinning a wry grin. "Thanks."
"No problem." Jacob's on his feet and out of the car in an instant, over at her side of the car and pulling her door open. He takes her hand and walks her up to the porch, slides both hands into his pockets. Jacob watches her with his head tilted slightly to one side. "So, since we're playing date, do I get a goodnight kiss?" Bella hesitates, fumbles with the key and drops it. When she goes to pick it up, Jacob's already crouched down next to her, the key between his pointer and middle fingers. His other hand finds her chin and tips her face towards his. She's hesitant, but she doesn't pull away when his lips touch hers.
He tastes just like she remembers. His lips are fire, engulfing hers, soft, but more insistent than Edward's kisses ever were. His hand has found its way to the back of her neck, holding her to him. Jacob bites down lightly on her lower lip as he draws away. "Night, Bells," he breathes, straightening up and sliding the key into the lock. He pushes the door open and steps inside.
Bella follows.
Jacob hesitates in the entryway, but Bella's more resolute this time, taking his large hand in hers and leading him up the stairs. It's dark, but he can see perfectly, and he sees how her eyes drift from his to his lips as she pulls him into her old bedroom. It looks exactly the same –Charlie hasn't changed anything- and Jacob would've been struck with déjà vu…
But, in the past, Bella didn't generally lean up on tiptoe and kiss him like that. In fact, Bella never leaned up on tiptoe to kiss him at all. But her arms are around his neck and her fingers are entwined in his hair and her lips are opening and closing over his over and over again. There's desperation there, but Jacob's feels hints of want, of desire, too. His lips part for hers, and he sucks her lower lip between both of his as he slides his hands to her hips, thumbs looping in her belt loops.
"Bella," he breathes when they part. "Are you sure?"
Her eyes hold his and her hands trail down from his neck, tracing out the contours of his muscled chest and abs under his thin t-shirt, stopping at the button of his jeans. "I'm sure," she whispers back, and Jacob hears I love you.
Of course it's not the same, but it's something.
-
It's different than she thought it would be.
The warmth, you'd think it might be suffocating in such close contact, but it's actually quite comfortable. His hands are everywhere, caressing her face, tracing her arched back, fingers dancing over her stomach and leaving trails of fire everywhere he touches. And he goes lower, lower still, and with each inch Bella inhales sharply and Jacob grins at her in such a bemused, innocent sort of way that it doesn't seem appropriate. But he looks so much like her Jacob then and this doesn't feel wrong, not at all.
Even when his lips are upon hers, much more insistent and eager than Edward's had ever been, leaving bruises and chapped lips behind, it doesn't feel wrong. Not when her hands tangle in the shaggy hair at the back of his neck (she's always liked it long) or when he whispers Bells, Bella against her neck as she digs her fingernails into his back. It doesn't feel wrong then.
Not even when two become one does it feel wrong. It's different than she thought it would be. Warm, and she feels like she's melting into him, melting under his touch. But it doesn't feel wrong at all. In fact, it feels scarily right.
When they're finished, Jacob sprawls out beside her in her too-small twin bed. He takes up most of the room, but Bella finds she doesn't really mind. His arms are wrapped loosely around her waist. One of her legs is tangled with his. Her back is pressed against his chest and she can hear each beat of his heart as it echoes her own. Slow, steady, while hers is fast and erratic. His chin is propped upon her shoulder, his warm breath playing about her face. And he's snoring softly in her ear. Asleep Bella thinks, turning her head slightly to get a better look at him. He's much calmer in sleep, she's noticed. Calmer, and more peaceful. No worry lines to crease his forehead, and there's a faint smile upon his lips so that one of his dimples is poking out.
For a brief moment, she wonders How can this be wrong?
The diamond ring Jacob had made her take off earlier that evening stares at her from the bedside table.
Bella rolls over, into Jacob's warmth, and buries her face against his chest. Not tonight. Tonight, she belongs to Jacob. It's a little backwards, she thinks, since darkness isn't really Jacob's thing. He's the sun, bright, happy. Dawn would be the best time of day for someone like Jacob. But here they are, under the cover of darkness, pretending and playing with each other's emotions. And, come morning, she'll go back to her vampire and he'll go back to his garage.
But, just for tonight, they are together. For a moment, she wishes this night would never end.
-
Four weeks later, Bella is sitting in one of the Cullens' massive bathrooms waiting for her pregnancy test to register. Alice is pacing in front of her, looking more anxious than she does. "Alice, stop."
Alice doesn't stop. "I still can't believe Edward agreed to this." Her frantic, topaz eyes find Bella's and she shakes her head. "I still can't believe you agreed to this…"
Bella shrugs, trains his eyes on the bathroom tiles instead. "I just wanted to make everyone happy. They wanted me to live, so I did." Her voice is still soft, barely above a whisper. "And I wanted a baby. Edward thought it'd be better…"
Alice laughed a shrill laugh. "Better! Well, it could've at least been a human…"
"Jacob is human, Alice." Alice stares at her. Bella backtracks. "Well, more human, anyway."
Alice titters under her breath, but snatches up the box from the pregnancy test. Her eyes go from the box to the test on the counter as she reads the directions. The little vampire looks at her watch, taps her foot against the floor. And then, once two minutes are up, she stares blankly at the test. "Congratulations," Alice says. "You're having a puppy."
-
Jacob is at the house almost every day. He's very persistent in asking whether or not she's warm or cold and pretty good with getting her cravings right. He doesn't put up much of a fuss and seems happy just to be around, even if it smells too sickly sweet in this house. Edward is usually around whenever Jacob is, which Jacob finds annoying but Bella doesn't, so when he shows up one Tuesday with chicken soup and Carlisle lets him in with no sign of Edward, Jacob's surprised, but pleased.
"Hi, Bells," he says. "How are you feeling?"
"Big," she says dryly, and throws off the blanket she'd been using. Jacob sits down next to her automatically; there's no need for blankets when there's a werewolf around. He slings an arm over her shoulders and leans down to press his lips lightly against her stomach. Bella sighs. Their rule was no forms of affection after that one night (funny, how it had only taken one try…). But Bella really couldn't deny him fatherly rights. She supposed kissing her stomach didn't count much anyway.
"Do you need anything?" Jacob asks and Bella shakes her head. Her gaze is focused upon Wheel of Fortune. Jacob shakes his head and settles back in his seat. About fifteen minutes in, Bella winces.
"Oh…"
"What is it?" Jacob asks, stiffening instantly. "Should I call the Doc?"
"No, Jake. It's fine." Now she's smiling. Jacob tilts his head to one side.
"I don't get it…"
Bella takes his hand and rests it against her middle. His eyes brighten almost instantly. "There's Daddy's little kicker. Strong, huh, Bells?"
Bella's too busy staring at the awed expression on Jacob's face to really notice. "Yeah…"
-
Jacob goes with Bella to every checkup. She tells him it's unnecessary, but he says he wants to be a part of his kid's life and that's he's coming whether she likes it or not. Today, they're sitting in the exam room, Jacob with a book on baby names and Bella staring at the ceiling. "So, how are we going to do this?"
Bella looks over at him. "Do what?"
"Name him." Jacob pauses, thoughtful. "Or her."
Bella blinks. "I don't know, Jake. Considering I'm the one doing all the work here…"
"Hey," Jacob interrupts. "Without me, there'd be no baby." She can't argue with that, so she just shrugs. "How about this. If it's a boy, you can name him. And if it's a girl, I get to name her."
"That seems fair," Bella replies, watching him through half-lidded eyes. "Why do you want to name the girl?"
"Because…" Jacob chews his bottom lip absently. "I'd like to name her after my mom. Sarah."
Bella's eyes soften and she throws her legs over the side of the chair to reach for one of his hands. She gives it a light squeeze, and he squeezes her hand back. "I like that name. It's beautiful." Jacob smiles and Bella mirrors it effortlessly.
"What about you? If it's a boy, what are you going to name him?"
Bella's thoughtful for a moment. "How about Chilly?" Jacob stares blankly at her and she keeps a straight face for all of five seconds before bursting out into laughter. "Okay, okay. How about Jacob?"
Jacob shakes his head. "No. I think he should have his own name. Not that I'm not flattered."
Bella tips her head back and thinks. "Ethan," she finally says, nodding her head. "Ethan Jacob Black."
Jacob raises his eyebrows at her and sets his book aside. His hand is still in hers and he entwines their fingers lightly. "You're going to have the baby take my name?"
"Of course," she says, like that's the simplest thing in the world. "It's your baby, too, Jake."
"I know. But…I didn't think…"
"Hey," Bella says, squeezing his hand again. "You want to be part of your kid's life, remember?" They share a secretive smile before the door opens and Carlisle walks in. Jacob immediately goes to drop her hand, but Bella's fingers tighten around his in response. Carlisle glances between the two with a soft smile, and moves to sit down. He sets up the machine and puts the gel on Bella's stomach. He watches the monitor silently for a few moments, and Jacob pats Bella's hand in what he hopes is reassurance.
Finally, Carlisle turns to them. "Everything looks good, Bella." After a second, he adds, "Jacob. Did you want to know the sex of the baby?" Bell and Jacob exchange glances.
"No," they both say in unison. Then they laugh.
-
The phone rings at two in the morning.
Jacob stumbles into the kitchen in the dark, nearly trips over one of Claire's toys, and answers with a raspy, "Hello?"
"She's asking for you." Edward Cullen is calling him at two in the morning. It takes Jacob a second to figure out why, and he rubs at his eyes with the heels of his hands.
"What?"
"Jacob, she's having the baby and she wants you here. Now." Those words seemed to jolt him to life. Jacob's already tugging on a shirt, reaching for his car keys.
"I'll be there in five minutes."
-
Jacob stands at Bella's side and holds her hand through the whole thing. It's surprising that when she squeezes his hand with each contraction, it actually hurts like hell. But he doesn't wince or complain. He just leans down, brushes the sweaty hair from her forehead, and whispers, "You're doing great, Bells. Just a little more." She's very out of it by now, having had an epidural. Now, she seems focused only upon the task at hand, though her gaze does flick to him between contractions.
Edward is hovering awkwardly in the corner of the room. Bella hasn't asked him to leave, but he still feels terribly out of place. Jacob can't blame him. This weird, compromised relationship is all very confusing. After this, will there be no more movie nights in La Push with Bella in front of him and his arms looped around her middle? Will their bond be severed after the baby is born? He knows Bella wants her baby to have a father, but she's also in love with Edward. Jacob's agreed that he'll be a part of the child's life, but how far does that go, anyway? She's still married. Married to Edward and having Jacob's baby.
Whose idea was this, anyway? Oh, yeah. Edward.
"Just one more, Bella," Carlisle encourages her, and with a final burst of energy, Bella collapses back against the pillows. Jacob holds up a cup of ice chips before tossing them aside and leaning down to press his lips against her forehead. "You did it, Bella. It's over."
Except it isn't, because Carlisle's clipping the cord and taking the baby away before Bella can even get a proper look at her child. "What's wrong?" She mutters hoarsely, and Jacob's gaze jumps from Bella to the baby and back again. Carlisle's almost to the door.
"Carlisle?" He asks, watching as Edward disappears through the door. Jacob doesn't miss the worried look in his eyes.
"She's premature, Jacob," Carlisle replies very quickly. "And not breathing on her own. I have to take her down to NICU." Jacob opens his mouth to say something more, but Carlisle's already gone.
Bella's staring blankly at the door, clutching his hand with even more force than before. Jacob drags a chair up next to her. Bella turns to look at him, a bemused sort of expression crossing her face. "It's a girl." Jacob's got both of her hands between his. He nods absently. "Sarah Black."
-
"Is she going to be okay?"
They're standing outside the little nursery in Forks General Hospital, Bella clinging to Jacob's arm and Jacob with his nose nearly pressed against the glass. Their little girl is bundled up tight in a pink blanket in a plastic box that is way too big for her. She's curled up, attached to a machine, but she stretches and reaches out for some poor sucker's blanket on her left. And when she manages to somehow tug the blue blanket from her neighbor and into her own bed, Jacob smiles faintly. That's my girl…
"She's stable, yes. Tonight is very important, though. Preemies are very delicate…"
Jacob looks up. "Can we see her?"
Carlisle smiles. "Of course."
Bella holds her first, messing with the little cap they've put on her head and smoothing out her blanket. She's so tiny, helpless. But beautiful. Nine months of this, of having this little person growing inside her, it's made her see how precious these human experiences are…And just how delicate human life can be. One wrong move, and this beautiful baby girl will be no more. Bella cradles her daughter's head and inhales deeply. She smells like fresh water and a coming storm and baby. And she thinks there's a little bit of that special Jacob scent there, too. It's comforting, somehow.
But she looks very pale, and Bella can already tell that her daughter's skin-tone will be darker than hers. A bit lighter than Jacob's, perhaps, a light caramel color all year round. But her skin's oddly pallid now and she feels cold. "Take her," she says, passing the baby over to Jacob. He hesitates for a second, trying to get the form right, but once he's got a hand beneath her head and one arm tucked beneath her, he's alright.
"Hey, Sarah," he coos in a voice so soft it's barely even a whisper. "Hey, baby girl. It's Daddy." He rocks her gently and he's surprised when her eyes blink open. They're blue, for now, like with most babies, and she blinks up at him for a second before nestling further against his chest. Jacob thinks she likes the warmth. He grins as one of her tiny hands wraps around his pointer finger and squeezes. Hard. She's a fighter, stubborn, just like her mother.
"I can tell," he says after a few minutes of silence. "That this one's going to be trouble when she grows up." Bella watches them for a long while, father and child. It's an odd scene. Sarah's so small compared to Jacob, and he's holding her with a fierce sort of protectiveness that only a father can bear. But his touch and his voice is very gentle with each whispered word, each reassurance. "You're gonna be okay. We're all gonna be okay."
-
Edward enters the nursery the next morning to find Jacob Black sitting awkwardly in the rocking chair in the corner. Sarah's tucked safely in one arm and Bella's found her way into his lap. Their hands are intertwined, and each of them has a hand on their baby. It's a strong bond, clearly, to go through something as long as pregnancy. And these complications seem to have only made it stronger.
Alice enters the room a few seconds after her brother, hovering awkwardly on the edge of this strangely intimate scene. "Edward," she whispers, tugging on his sleeve. "It's disappeared."
Edward doesn't bother to ask what she's talking about. He can see from this picture that Bella will want to spend all of her time with Sarah, and that she and Jacob have shared something that he never could. A human life, a human experience, a human child. It's a mystery all its own. And he really can't blame her…He always knew this was a possibility. But she is alive, and she is happy…
So Edward leaves without saying a word and Alice follows, reluctantly.
Bella's eyes snap open then, and she catches Alice's coat tail as it disappears around the doorway. She'd been awake the whole time, watching baby Sarah and Jacob's smile. She doesn't know how this will end, whether they'll enter into some kind of relationship or just exist together as parents.
But Bella knows one thing. She loves Jacob Black. Always has.
It just took a little everyday miracle to convince her of that.