DESIDERATA

A/N: The Rosalie/Emmett lemon in this chapter is just for Den20, by special request. I figured no one would complain if an extra lemon was thrown in the mix…;)

Things I own: An original "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirt. Seriously.

Things I don't own: Anything Twilight, it all belongs to Ms. Meyer. Viagra is owned by Pfizer (and lots of men, too, apparently).

CHAPTER ELEVEN: FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD…OR NOT

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

EmPOV

I'm driving in to work, and I glance over at the amazing woman who is sitting in my passenger seat. I'm so emo, I feel like I may be turning into a chick. The past day has been the most incredible of my life. Rosalie Hale is looking out her window, so I can just see her profile. She is, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I reach over and grab her hand in mine. She gives me a wide smile, which I return.

As I think back over the last 24 hours, I remember how hot she sounded when I talked to her on the phone; when I actually saw her in person, I had an instant, harder-than-hell cock. Seriously, this woman is a walking woody inducer. Her bod is to die for—tall and thin, but still curvy in just the right places. She has fuckawesome long, blond hair that she wears up off her neck. It is severe but totally hot; kind of like a sexy librarian or secretary. When a chick looks that buttoned up, you just know she's going to be hot as hell in the sack—all her sexual energy is being repressed in that extreme look. And fuck me if I wasn't bound and determined to find out how buttoned up she really was.

I was as surprised as anyone when Rosalie actually picked up on my moves in the office. I'm not stupid, and neither is she—we could both feel the sexual energy sizzling between us. I just didn't think she would act upon it. When she jumped up and basically attacked me, it was like all my prayers had been answered simultaneously. I've had plenty of flings in the past, but nothing, nothing in the world, will ever compare to Rosalie Hale. It's like she was created just for me. Everything about her is perfect.

When Alice asked us to join the rest of the group for karaoke, I knew I had to spend as much time with this hot babe as I could; of course I said yes! I remember singing with her on stage, laughing more than I had ever laughed in my life, and having a cock so fucking hard I truly thought it would cause permanent brain damage due to lack of blood flow to my head. I started to get worried that I'd have one of the epic 4 hour long erections they always warn you about in Viagra ads. Just when I was thinking my balls were literally turning blue, Rose leaned over, licked my ear, and purred, "Emmett, I need you alone. Right. Now."

You don't have to tell me more than once. I grabbed her arm and ushered her out of the bar before Alice and Jasper could see where we were headed. Hell yes, I can be sneaky when I want to be. I've got skillz. We walked to my car like the bar was on fire. Actually, we were on fire, and I needed to put it out NOW. Before Rose had a chance to open her door, I turned her towards me, a little more roughly than I had intended to. She took that as a sign and basically attacked, then bit, my lower lip. She drew blood, but I didn't fucking care. This babe was hotter than Hades, and I needed to get her home 10 minutes ago. I quickly opened the door while we were kissing, and she pulled me in with her as she sat down in the seat. With a groan, I got up and ran around to my side of the car. We made it to my house in 4.35 minutes, give or take a nanosecond or two. We quickly looked at each other once I stopped the car, smiled, and got out, running to my front door. I tried to unlock it as quickly as I could, which was definitely a challenge; Rose was all over me, my cock was distractingly hard, and I kept fumbling with the keys. She finally got so pissed from waiting those extra few seconds that she snatched the keys from me and deftly opened the door.

She grabbed the sleeve of my coat, shut the door behind me, and pulled my lips into hers. It felt like she had the energy and intensity of a Tasmanian devil, all of which she channeled into her kisses. She literally ripped my clothes off of my body, piece by piece, until all I had left was my socks. When I tried to do the same thing, She shoved me away from her. I started to complain, and she gave me a look that would stop Attila the Hun in his tracks; apparently, no one says no to Rosalie Hale. I felt my arms drop instantly to my sides and waited for what she would do next. In the middle of all this heated activity, she daintily unzipped her dress, shimmied out of it, and revealed what was underneath. Oh my fucking god in heaven, I thought I was going to go blind when I saw what she had underneath. I didn't get a good look at her this morning, so I had no idea what she was packing. You could probably call it a thong, but it really just looked like a couple of pieces of thread. Her tits were barely covered by her bra. My eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets. If this was considered underwear, why bother putting any on at all? As far as Rosalie is concerned, I loved the look either way. Naked, nearly naked, it's all fine by me.

Rosalie then did something that took me completely by surprise—she looked down at the ground, almost like she was bashful. How this hot-blooded, sexual minx of a woman could be even remotely bashful is beyond me. I grabbed her chin between my finger and thumb, pulling her eyes up to meet mine.

"Baby, you never need to look at the floor when we're together. You, Rosalie Hale, embody everything that is perfect in a woman. If I had a partner custom-designed to my perfect specifications, she would be you. Now let's go fuck each other silly, okay, beautiful?"

Rosalie replied with the sexiest smile I've ever seen. I scooped her up and virtually ran to my bedroom. I sat down on the bed and pulled her between my legs. She had other ideas. She quickly removed the thread that wasn't really covering anything, and the bra that wasn't covering anything, and tossed them aside. The she pushed me down on the bed and straddled my chest. She pried my mouth open with hers, our tongues battling each other for supremacy. She hooked her legs under mine, which brought her sweet pussy directly over my achingly hard cock. She rubbed herself over my length so I could feel her hot, wet, slick folds. I grabbed her ass, holding it steady, and thrust my entire rod in her at once. She hissed at the action. Rosalie Hale was no limp noodle fuck—she gave as good as she got. Her hips met mine, thrust for thrust, using her legs as leverage. I wanted to stay inside her forever; it was everything I had ever dreamed of. We were both so wound up that we came quickly. That was okay—I knew we'd be fucking all night long, anyhow.

I pull into the parking lot of the café with a smile on my face, reminding myself that we did fuck all night long. As I open the back door, I knew one thing was certain: Rosalie Hale is the love of my life, and I can't wait to be inside her again.

BPOV

I'm still in back of the café finishing up my baking when Emmett and Rosalie slink in through the back door. Rose is in the same clothes she wore last night, and her hair is still wet. She doesn't strike me as a girl who would ever be okay with walking around in public with her hair wet, so I'm instantly suspicious. As for Emmett, it's the slinking in through the door that raises my alarm; Em isn't a slinker. He couldn't slink if his life depended upon it. On top of all that, they both look guilty as hell. Yep, conclusion holds firm. They were humping like bunnies all night long.

In order to avoid a repeat of their office performance from yesterday, I scroll through my playlist and choose something LOUD to cover up any noise that might escape from Emmett's office today. I don't need to hear that shit. Muse seems like a good choice, so I select it and crank up the volume. Then I get back to work and pretend no one is here except for me.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and jump about ten feet straight up into the air. I pull my ear buds off and scream out, "Dammit, Alice, I asked you not to do that anymore! You always scare the shit out of me!" As I turn around to scowl at her, I see that it isn't her; it's him. The last person in the world that I want to see.

"Jesus, Cullen, why the hell would you sneak up on me like that?"

"Alice told me to come back here and get you myself."

He doesn't get to blame this on Alice. "What in god's name would you need me for?"

"Is there somewhere we can go that's a little more private?"

"Mr. Cullen, there is no one else back here. This is about as private as it gets in Forks. In case you hadn't noticed, every conversation gets overheard in this town."

"I wish you would call me Edward," he sighs. "And I just wanted to make sure there would be no interruptions."

"Interruptions? What, like we're gonna sit back here and make out or something? What the hell is so important that we need to worry about interruptions?"

Edward pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs again. "Bella, I'd really like to apologize to you for what you think you overheard me saying last night."

"I think your meaning was very clear cut—it didn't really leave any room for misinterpretation."

"Well, I know what I said, and I didn't mean it to sound as nasty as it might have. It is possible you may have jumped to conclusions."

"How is it possible to misunderstand what were very clear words? To paraphrase, 'The only good woman in town has been on your arm all night.' 'I'm not going to bother making conversation with a woman who hasn't spoken to another guy all night.' 'It isn't my job to make her feel attractive.' That's fucking blatant, Edward."

"You forget, Bella, that I was attempting to have a private conversation with my best friend, and we have an understanding of those words that might be different from yours. If I hadn't wounded your ego, you might have heard the true meaning behind what I said."

"Wait, you think that just because you said something that was unflattering, I misunderstood you? That it tainted my view of what you were actually saying? And who the hell has a private conversation at a table full of people in the middle of a bar? You are fucking unbelievable!"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say!"

"I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, Mr. Cullen, but that is the lamest apology I've ever heard. In fact, if you hadn't uttered the word 'apology' earlier, I would assume you were merely continuing your conversation with Jasper from last night. You should probably cut your losses here and give up. I'm not buying whatever it is you are selling, mister." I make motions with my hands that imply he should scoot out from whence he came.

"I think your memory is a bit selective, Ms. Swan. If you recall, I also told Jasper how difficult it is for me to engage in meaningless small talk. That I would rather let him do the talking while I sit back and observe. You're making it very difficult for me to tell you that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry that I did. It was unintentional."

"Mr. Cullen, if I cared enough about you as an individual, I might give an earnest effort to work this through with you. However, the fact of the matter is that I don't. I'm not someone who will ever matter in your eyes. To you, I'm nothing more than a stupid baker girl from a shithole little town who will never cross your path again once your project is complete. If you can be civil to me whenever we run into each other in the future, I will be civil to you. If you cannot, I may be forced to poison your coffee. The choice is yours."

The look on Edward Cullen's face was priceless. I'm pretty certain no one, except maybe Rosalie Hale, had ever spoken to him so directly before. I wish my hands hadn't been full of flour at the time, because I would've loved to take a picture of his face right then. Edward stood up straight, looked me coolly in the eye, and took a step back.

"Well, if that's how you really feel about things, I guess there is nothing more I can say. I will be civil to you, by the way, and I appreciate your willingness to be civil to me. I guess we'll be seeing each other around, then." He turned and walked towards the doors to the front of the café.

"Hey Edward, just remember what Eleanor Roosevelt had to say about people like you: 'Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.'" He merely shrugged his shoulders, turned around, and escaped through the doors.

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EPOV

Fuck me. That went over as well as a bar joke at an AA meeting. Why can't I ever get things right when I talk to Bella Swan? She is determined to misunderstand everything I say or do. Why does that bother me so much? I really should just take her advice and see her as a 'baker girl from a shithole little town.'

I walk out through the doors from the rear of the café and head straight for the town car. We have a few minutes before we need to leave for the airport, and I want to put as much distance between myself and Bella Swan as I possibly can. I will just wait for the others in the car; it is the least painful choice I have, which isn't saying much. As I expect, my mother is the first person to meet me in the car.

"So, that didn't go very well, I take it?"

"You could say that."

"What happened?"

"Mom, I have no idea what happened. I just can't seem to get things right with Bella Swan, for some reason."

"Why is that so important to you? I've never heard you talk about a woman the way you spoke about her in the bar. That's just not like you. What is it about her that makes you behave so out of character?"

"Don't you think I've been asking myself that same question? I have no idea why she drives me insane; I don't even know her. I've been on so many movie sets, I've worked with so many people, and no one—ever—has ever affected me like this. I don't even remotely understand why."

"Don't you really, Edward?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I think you are a very intelligent, sensitive young man, who is reserved and private and has a hard time opening up to others. A man who met a beautiful woman who doesn't fawn all over him, and he doesn't quite know what to make of her."

"That sounds pretty close to how I feel actually."

"I thought that it might. Perhaps you should start your soul searching from that point, hmm?"

I leaned over to give my mother a kiss. Damn if she doesn't know how to read me like an open book. I sigh deeply and look out the window, pondering just what Bella Swan really means to me.

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By the time we land in LA, Rosalie has made all the arrangements for the screen test between Jacob Black and Tanya Denali. Apparently, Tanya's inner diva decided to make an appearance. She was whining about working with an unknown actor like Jacob Black, so I reminded her that there aren't any leading men in Hollywood at the moment who are Native American. Once she heard that this will give her top billing in all the publicity, the whining magically stopped. Rosalie can be a genius that way.

On Tuesday, Jacob Black arrives in Los Angeles. I assign Jasper to be his escort around the set and town, since Jacob will likely feel very lost in this crazy place. LA isn't for the innocent, naïve, or weak-hearted. Fortunately, the paps are not onto Jasper this particular morning, and he is able to pick up Jacob without delay. Since Tanya lives here, we don't need to make any special arrangements for her. Naturally, she shows up at the studio early, hoping to spend some quality time together with me. I want to send a message to her early on in this project: I am 100% off limits. I do not need, nor do I want, another scandal involving Tanya to break during filming. I'm already concerned about the Photoshopping that will be done to make Jacob and Tanya an item. Hell, they'll probably make Jacob and Jasper an item. I'll be thrown in the mix to ensure a love triangle. I'd laugh at the whole thing wasn't so pathetic. I don't even want a photo to be taken with the two of us standing in the same frame. I'm not sure if it is avoidable, but I will try as hard as hell to ensure that it doesn't happen. I let Tanya stew in my reception area until Jacob and Jasper arrive and the studio is set for the screen test. It's her own fucking fault for being early.

Jacob and Jasper finally arrive and save me from Tanya. We make introductions all around, and follow the same format as in LaPush, only Tanya is now in the mix. Jacob seems like an amiable kind of guy, and warms up to Tanya right away, which leaves me pleasantly surprised. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that she can be high maintenance, but Jacob just seems to go with the flow; her need to be the center of attention doesn't phase him a bit. This is actually perfect, because Tanya isn't the easiest actress to work with. I need someone who is unflappable, and Jacob seems to be my man. I feel very fortunate that he just fell into place.

After the screen test, we decide to grab a bite to eat with Jacob and have a chance to talk about our project timeline. Jasper starts asking Jacob questions about Forks. No surprise that the Wonderland Café comes up as a topic of conversation. My ears perk up when I hear Bella's name.

"Yeah, I guess Alice is making Bella take care of the catering for the shoot. She's not too happy about it, but with only three people running the show, Bella is really the only one who could handle it."

"So Alice won't be working on the set at all?"

"No man, not that I know of. She needs to hold down the fort back at the café. And Emmett doing either job would be a disaster."

So Bella will be on set every day…shit, that isn't good. How the fuck will I be able to focus if she's there all the time?

"So, Jacob, how long have you known Bella Swan?" I ask.

"We've known each other all of my life. Her dad and mine are best friends, so I spent as much time in Forks as she spent in LaPush."

It sounds like they are closer than casual friends if you ask me…

"Well, we don't spend much time together anymore, now that we're both out of high school anyway."

That's a little better. I don't want to worry about them flirting on the set or anything…it could really screw up my filming schedule…

Now it's Jasper's turn, apparently. "Do you know much about Alice?"

"Sure, Alice and Bella are best friends, have been since they were in kindergarten. They've been inseparable since Alice's folks died."

"Her family is dead? What happened?"

"Just her parents are dead—she still has her brother, Emmett, of course. When Bella and Alice were sixteen, Alice's parents were killed in an automobile accident. Drunk driver. It was a really huge deal. That's when the Brandons and the Swans became as inseparable as family. Charlie watches over Emmett and Alice, and Emmett watches over Alice and Bella. It's kinda like they had two broken families that they joined together to make one big one. They celebrate all their holidays together and everything."

"Wow. That's a lot to take on when you're only sixteen."

"Yeah, but having the café has really helped all three of them adjust and work things out in their lives, I think."

That totally piques my interest, and I can't help asking, "What would Bella have to work through?"

Jacob turns to me and gives me a quizzical look. "Why are you so interested in Bella?"

"I'm not interested in Bella. I'm just curious about what her issues would be, since her parents weren't the ones who died in the car crash."

"Well, that's a story for Bella to tell you herself. All I will say is that her mom left her when she was very young, and it hasn't exactly been easy for her. You know what small towns are like. Everyone knows everything."

I find myself fascinated by this new nugget of knowledge about Bella. While I appreciate that Jacob respects Bella's privacy, I sense that this is going to drive me nuts until I find out what exactly happened in her past. And if I didn't know any better, I get the sense that Jacob is sizing me up. It's probably just paranoia.

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A/N: This chapter was kind of a bitch…it is more transitional than anything. I meant to include their arrival in Forks for filming, but it just kind of took on a life of its own. Up next will be the start of filming, and an epic battle of wits between Bella and Edward.

Remember, teasers come to those who review. Also, Indie Awards voting opens tomorrow at noon, 07/09/09. You can vote at:

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