Broken Moon
Disclaimer: I own nada.
Recap of Two Lonely Months, Part I
I had wandered far in to the woods, passing the invisible line that separated La Push and Forks. I had a need to walk. I didn't care if the cold rain was falling copiously. I felt numb and dead inside. I just wanted to get away from here and think. There was a storm brewing in my mind. I knew that I would have to face Embry sooner or later, but right now, all I wanted was to be alone and meditate on my life.
I was confused. I wanted Embry to erase all the memories of Ruben. I wanted him to become the only thing my heart desired, but at the same time… I was afraid. I didn't want to hurt anymore, but watching Embry leave, as I called out his name, sent me in a state of paranoia. He probably hated me, but because he imprinted on me he felt it was his duty to be with me and protect me. It reminded me of how my father left my mother, when she had Seth Jacob.
I knew that I should've never compared both scenarios. Yes, they were totally different. But at the same time, they felt the same. I needed to concentrate on what I truly wanted. It had been four weeks since I last saw him. I wanted to keep a safe distance from him. I needed to really think everything through. I wanted Embry. I swear that I did! But, I didn't want him in a romantic way; at least, not yet.
I hated all the drama in my life. I continued to trudge down the woods, until I came across a gravel path. The road was empty, but there were fresh tire tracks and the dirt particles, were slowly setting on the ground. I felt curious. I knew that I shouldn't be going into someone's private property, but I had to. There was this newfound curiosity growing inside me.
I went up the path and could smell different scents lingering together. It felt familiar, but at the same time, different. I continued to walk, hiding among the trees, to prevent others from seeing me. As I got nearer, I could smell the scent of my family. It was them! It wasn't my mother's scent, but my grandfather's and grandmother's. I could still remember their sweet, soothing scent.
I walked faster up the path, until I found myself standing in front of a large tri-level home. It was covered in large windows that led in the sun's rays. It was beautifully decorated, with vast gardens and trees surround it. It was the house where my Nessie grew up in. I had seen it in many pictures that my mom had lying around the house.
My heart was beating fast against my ribcage and I felt happy, but afraid. It had been almost six to seven years since I had last seen them. What if they didn't want me? I felt shy and turned around to leave, when the door burst open and I found myself engulfed in the warmest arms.
I looked up and found my Papa Jacob smiling down at me. His smile lighted up the entire sky. His dark eyes held such love for me, that I felt unworthy of it all. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve his love, his kindness or even him! I had made his only daughter cry. I was responsible for the dimness of his daughter's spirit.
"Dad, I don't deserve you." I cried, pulling away from him. "I hurt my mom and she is sad, because I broke her heart." I sobbed, looking down at the floor.
"Silly girl!" he laughed, pressing me closer to his chest. "You are worthy of all my love, princess."
He placed his hand behind my head and brought me closer to him. I reluctantly, wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt so small and insignificant. I didn't feel worthy of anything. I only ended up hurting the people that actually showed me love and compassion.
"Come inside, angel." he whispered, kissing the crown of my head. "Mama made you some hot cocoa. We were expecting you."
I looked up at him and found myself smiling up at him. "Alice?"
He nodded and together we walked inside the mansion. As soon as I entered the house, my grandmother, wrapped me in a towel and rushed me to the downstairs bathroom. She already had dry clothes laid out for me to change in to.
She was smiling, tears falling down her face as she dried my hair. "You are so beautiful, Moon." she cried softly. "I can't believe that you're here, darling."
I couldn't believe that they weren't angry at me. I felt a wave of feeling pour over me as I saw her smiling down at me. I sat on the rim of the large bathtub and let her towel dry my hair. I've never been in this Cullen mansion. It was as mesmerizing and beautiful as the other ones that I've been to. My parents tried to steer away from La Push, Washington, so I never came to this exact house. Being in Washington brought them too many sad memories.
"Have you heard from mom?" I asked nervously, placing my hands on my lap.
"Yes. She's doing fine. Why?" she asked me nonchalantly, as she wiped her own tears with the back of her hand.
Nessie Cullen-Black was my dearest grandmother. She was young and would never age. We looked about the same age and alike. We both had the same porcelain complexion and the crimson cheeks, when we were embarrassed. My eyes were green and dead, but hers… Her deep chocolate eyes were warm and kind. She had bronze hair, just like Edward.
I always remembered her and dreamed of her often. There were times, that I found myself wishing that she was my mother and Jacob was my father. They were always so kind to me. I felt special in their eyes.
"Thanks, Mama." I mumbled, taking off my hoodie. "I appreciate everything you do for me." I said, holding back my tears. I looked at the wall, but she forced me to look at her.
"Don't cry!" she said softly, placing both of her hands on my face and projecting images of us together in to my mind. I saw myself sleeping in her arms when I was younger. I was her angel and little princess. Oh, gosh, she loved me so much. "You'll are safe with us. We won't let anyone hurt you."
I nodded and stood up, wrapped my arms around her tiny body and wept. "I'm sorry that I hurt your daughter! I apologize."
Papa knocked on the door and walked in. He looked worried when he saw us crying. He trudged to where we were and wrapped his arms around us and carefully lifted us both.
"Why are my princesses crying?" he asked solemnly. "There is no room for tears. We should be celebrating that our angel is back in our arms." he said, placing us on the floor.
My grandmother pulled me away from her and smiled at me. "Jake is right." she giggled, taking my hand in hers. "We are going to celebrate that my little Moon is safe." she said happily, wiping her tears with the wet towel.
She turned to Papa and shooed him out of the bathroom. "You need to leave now." she ordered, pushing him out of the bathroom and smacking his behind. "Out you go, handsome."
I laughed and for a second, I thought of Embry. I didn't want to hurt him. I would never want to hurt his heart.
Nessie closed the door and turned the lock. She veered around and clapped her hands happily as she ambled towards me. "You need to take a shower and wear this clothes that Alice and I bought you." she said, her silky mellifluous voice ringing softly in my ears. I felt calmed and peaceful in her presence.
"Um, Mama…" I said, rocking on the balls of my heels. "I missed you." I said, extending my cold hands to her warm hands. "I am glad that Alice can see me."
She pulled me to her and gave me a tight hug. "You are so sweet! I can't believe that I haven't seen you in such a long time! You've grown so big!"
"Mama, you're holding me too tight. I got to breath!" I laughed.
"Sorry, I'm just too excited!" she exclaimed, unwrapping her arms from my waist. "I promise not to go too overboard. But I can't say the same about your grandfather."
She turned around and walked to the other end of the bathtub and opened the faucet, letting the water run. "Do you still like your water lukewarm?" she asked me, creasing her forehead. I nodded and laughed. "You were a bit eccentric, Moon."
"I still am." said, biting my lower lip. She continued to let the water fill the tub and poured in essential oils and then the bubbles. She then turned on the whirlpool jets and spin to face me.
"All set! Mallory, you have made my life happy." she said, smiling at me. "I still can't believe that you are gracing us with your beautiful presence."
I bit the inside of my cheeks and held myself together. I was not going to cry anymore. Nessie made me feel so special and loved. It was like standing in front of my mother. She was my mother's substitute. I should feel elated and content, but I missed Ali. I missed my mother.
"I'm glad, Mama." I said, taking off my wet shoes. Nessie turned and started to walk towards the door. She placed a hand on the doorknob and started to turn it. I ran to her and wrapped my arms around her small waist. I didn't care if she got wet, or her curly hair turned freezie. "Thank you, Mama. I needed to feel wanted and loved." I confessed, resting my head on her back.
She placed her hands on mine and sighed. "Your mother loves you, Moon. Your father is going crazy without you. At least, speak to them. Let them know that you are fine. I know that Alice has called them and told them that you were alright; but, it's never the same if they don't hear it from you. What happened to you should've never happened. I can't judge your parent's mistake, but I do know that they love you and care for you deeply." she said quietly, taking my hands off her waist and turning to face me.
"I know, Mama. I just can't… I can't face them… at least, not yet. I need more time." I said weakly.
She smiled at me and patted my shoulder. "Take a bath and then we'll talk, angel. We have so much to talk about."
I nodded and watched her exit the bathroom. I took a long luxurious bath and took my sweet time to get dried and dressed. My grandmother had laid out a nice red dress that fitted perfectly. When I was done, I stepped outside and timidly made my way to where they were. Mama and Papa were making out in the living room; his hands were all over Nessie. I cleared my throat and looked down at the floor, feeling embarrassed as usual.
"Mallory, you are done!" Jacob said, placing Nessie on his side. "Come sit beside me. We have to talk about tonight." he said, his thick voice filling the room. "We have a surprise for you!"
I nodded and obeyed. I sat beside him, unable to relax. I knew what they were going to ask me. I looked down at my hands and nervously played with them.
"Jake," my grandmother said, hitting my Jacob playfully on the arm. "Don't tell her!"
"Ouch, woman!" he laughed loudly. "Stop abusing me!"
"Guys," I said sheepishly. "What is it that we have to talk about?"
"We heard that you were on your way to Alaska. Is it true?" he asked curiously. I nodded, but didn't reply. "What's in Alaska? Alice cant see you pretty good, but she said that you got sidetracked. How did you end up in La Push?" he asked, taking my small hand in his.
They felt warm like my father and like Embry's. "I miss him!" I whispered in to his mind, using my ability.
"Who? Your father? Embry?" he asked, smiling widely at me.
I looked up at him and felt my eyes well with tears. "Embry and Papito."
My Nessie's eyes were darting from Jacob to me. She had a confused expression on her face. Papa turned to her and explained what was going on. "Ohh, I get it! Alice told me that she was going to explain later." Nessie said with relief.
"How is Embry doing?" he asked me softly, caressing my hand with his index. "I called him the other day and he just cursed like a sailor."
"I hurt him too. All I do is cause pain. I am doomed to wander the planet alone!" I mumbled, sighing with sadness.
"Don't say that! You aren't doomed to wander this forsaken world alone. Remember that you have your aunts and uncles that love you and adore you. You have me, Jake, Ali, Seth, Addivani…"
"Don't say her name, please." I interrupted her. I yanked my hand away from Papa and stood up. "I don't… I c-can't stand her name." I muttered angrily.
"Um, sorry, angel." she mumbled, standing up and ambling towards me. She placed a gentle hand on my arm and sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to emphasize that there are people that love you."
I faced her and nodded. "I understand… it's just that her name brings back memories that I am dying to forget. She really hurt me, Mama." I whispered, taking her hand in mine.
"Oh, sweetie." she said calmly. "Don't worry about that. Soon, it will be water under the bridge. We should go to Port Angeles and celebrate that you are here with us." she said.
Papa stood up and took my face in his hands. He kissed my forehead and smiled brightly at me. I loved his smile. He was so sweet and so kind. "I'll be the most envied man in town tonight." he laughed heartedly. "Two beautiful women in each arm and they're just for me."
We laughed for a while. My Mama helped me blow-dry my hair. She used the curling iron and gave me similar curls like hers. We looked like sisters. It was great to be the center of attention for once. I felt the wall around my heart, slowly start to crumble. I felt welcome, safe, wanted and adored.
But no matter how happy I was, there was always a shadow of pain lurking in my heart. We went to dinner at a small secluded restaurant and ordered food for like ten people. My Papa ate four, sixteen ounce steaks and loads of baked potatoes. Nessie and I shared a meal and we had a pleasant time.
We walked through downtown and took lots of pictures. Many people turned to watch us. We looked like models that had stepped out of a fashion magazine. My Papa caught the eyes of many females, but Nessie, would lasso him with her arm, stating her ownership over him. I wanted to have a relationship like theirs.
Papa treated us to some ice cream, but I didn't like sweets. I ate it to be kind. I was still hungry. I barely ate. I wanted to drink blood. I wanted to go hunting and drink as much blood to keep me satisfied and satiated for a few days.
It was getting dark, when we decided to head back to the mansion. I was excited and eager to spend more time with my family. I also had forgotten to call Leah. She must've been worried that I wasn't home. I borrowed Nessie's cell phone and dialed Leah's number.
"Hello!" she said cheerfully.
"Leah?" I asked, staring at the road. "It's Moon. I won't be home for a while. I am with my family. I just wanted to let you know." I told her.
"Um, look Moon; Embry came over to see you. He has it bad for you! Do you want me to tell him something?" she asked nonchalantly.
I noticed Papa staring at me through the rear view mirror. He nodded and I sighed. "Um, well… Don't tell him where I am or who I'm with. Tell him, that'll talk to him soon, Leah." I said briefly.
"OK, you say hi to your family from me." she said and then I heard a male voice in the background.
"I will, Aunt Leah. Say hello to Maximus." I said mischievously. "Anyways, I'll see you soon!"
"Leah's with Max?" Papa asked, but I ignored him.
"Bye, Leah. Have a pleasant time with Maxi!" I said mockingly.
Leah protested, but I hung up the phone and handed it back to Nessie. My hands were trembling and my heart was aching at the thought of seeing a dejected Embry. I had it bad. I wanted him, but at the same time, I didn't! I wanted Ruben. He was the only one that I loved.
Nessie unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped to the backseat. "You need a hug." she said, pulling me to her arms. "You'll be fine, angel. I promise that you'll learn to love him and you'll be real happy."
I rested my head on the crook of her neck and silently hoped that she was right. When we made it to the mansion, I became aware that there were many cars parked in the driveway. I looked at Nessie and she just shrugged.
"I take it that we have visitors." Papa said curiously. "We should go and see who the hell is in there."
He parked the Audi and Nessie took my hand, to help me out of the backseat. As soon as I stepped outside, I could discern who was in the house.
"I can't go in there!" I said to Nessie, trying to pry my hand from hers. "She's in there and I'll be damn if I want to see her."
Papa took my free hand and kissed it. "We won't let her hurt you. I promise." he said softly, caressing my face with his other hand.
"You promise?" I asked him, biting my lower lip with anticipation. "Promise, Daddy?!"
They both nodded and together we trudge towards the cobblestone pathway that led to the entrance of the house. I sighed loudly and held my breath when Papa reached for the doorknob.
My feet were glued to the ground. I couldn't move. I felt like I was walking to the slaughter house. My destiny hated me. I had been mocked by Lady Luck, yet again.
When the doors were opened, I could distinguish every smell that lingered in the foyer. One in particular was the strongest.
As soon as I stepped in, my father was coming down the steps. He was dressed in a buttoned shirt and loose khakis. His hair was cropped short and his eyes opened wide when they spotted me. I felt my world shifting. He looked so young and so handsome. I knew why my mother loved him; but, tonight, I was reminded again.
"My princess!" he exclaimed and in three strides he was standing in front of me. "Oh, fuck, Mallory! Come to your father!" he said, opening his arms for me. "I missed you so much!"
I felt my tears falling with shame, hurt and pain. It was the hardest thing to just forget the anger I felt for him, but I loved him. He was my father and in my heart, there was always this longing for him.
I let go of my grandparents' hands and slowly made my way in to his arms. He quickly wrapped me in his sheltering arms and lifted me off the floor. My feet were dangling and my face rested next to his heart. It was beating fast, in cadence with mine.
He kissed my forehead, cheeks, nose and hair. It felt strange, but in a way, I needed him. I wound my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
"I missed you! I am so sorry for hurting you and mom." I whispered.
"It's in the past. I am so sorry that I didn't see your pain. I am so sorry angel. Please, forgive me princess!" he cried, burying his face on my shoulder. He placed me down and continued to kiss my cheeks.
He pulled away and smiled at me. He'd been crying. Why? Was it because of me? I didn't deserve his tears. All I've done is caused him pain.
"Moon?" a deep voice said. I looked behind my father and saw him. He looked as handsome as ever. I missed him so much, but I wasn't going to tell him. I missed his smile, his dark smoldering eyes and his thick Spanish accent.
"Ruben?" I muttered, holding my father's hand tighter. He was standing next to Addivani. In his arms he was holding a tiny baby, covered in pink, soft blankets.
"Mallory, sister!" Addivani said, walking towards me, her arms opened. "Sister, it's so great to see you. Come give your little sister a hug."
The fucking nerves! I tensed as she wrapped her arms around me. I felt dirty in her arms. I looked down at her and pushed her away.
"You have to meet my daughter, Cristal. Ruben knows what we are. It took him a while to accept, but he doesn't want to be away from our princess." she said derisively.
I took a step away from her and walked towards Ruben and their child. He smelled so delicious. His dark eyes looked lost. I smiled up at him and then at the babe. She was beautiful. She didn't look like her bitchy mother. Her skin was dark and her lips were similar to her father's. This little angel should have been mine. I should've been the one! I lost everything because of Addivani.
Addivani tapped my shoulder and I turned to face her. "Did you see the ring that Ruben bought me?" she said sardonically. "We got married. Mother arranged everything. I brought picture for you to see!"
I felt pressure building in my chest. I swallowed hard and nodded. "I am truly happy for you! Congratulations." I said, forcing a smile.
I hated her! I hated myself, for feeling so fucking jealous. I turned to my father. He was standing next to Jacob and Nessie.
"Where are the rest of my family?" I asked warily. "Where is Mom? Ally, Allegra and Diego?"
As soon as I asked, my mother entered the living room. Her hair was pulled in a messy ponytail and behind her my two little sisters and brother stood. She was smiling at me. Her blue eyes were shining brightly.
"Baby!" she said loudly, running towards me. "Oh, goodness… look at you." she said, twirling me. "You look so different."
We hugged and she cried some more. It was a great welcome, but I still couldn't shake the thought of Ruben and his daughter. I turned to look where Ruben stood and Addivani quickly placed her arm around his waist. He looked so sad. I wish I could return his lovely smile.
"I have to go, Mom." I said, holding back on my damn tears. "Leah is waiting for me and she… I have to go. I will come back early." I said, turning to face her.
"But you just got here… we have so much to talk about." she said sadly. I kissed her forehead and smiled at her. "Plus, Edward, Bells, Alice and Jazz are here! They were hunting, but should be back in a few hours."
"I will be back. I won't go anywhere. I found my place in the world." I lied, taking her hand. "I'll come and see them soon."
She reluctantly walked me to the door. "I love you, lil' Seth." she smiled weakly.
I hated that name! I hated when she reminded me of the past, but I didn't want to make her cry anymore.
"I love you too." I whispered and hugged her. I waved to my siblings and at Ruben. I ran out of the door and stormed towards the woods.
I stopped near a tree and wept. I cried for all the pain that came crashing back at me. I cried for what could've been with Ruben. I cried for the way I lived my life and for causing my family all that pain.
"Mallory?" someone said behind the trees. I looked up saw a shadow behind moving behind a large trunk.
"Jay?" I said, wiping my tears with the collar of the red dress. It was his scent and smell.
He came out of the thicket, wearing only his cutoff jeans. "What are you doing here alone?" he asked softly, taking a few steps closer to me.
"Um," I stopped and looked away from him. "I'm running away again." I laughed contemptuously.
"Why?" he asked seriously. He placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled me in to a warm bear hug. "Why do you run away?"
"My sister! She is here and she gave birth to a little girl that should've been mine. She stole him, Jared Jay." I cried in frustration. "She took him from me. I still love him! I just saw him and I felt jealous. She takes everything away from me!"
"You have Embry. He will never leave you. You are his and your sister won't ever…"
I placed my arms around his neck and got on my tiptoes and planted an angry kiss on his lips. I kissed him hard on the lips. I was angry. I wanted to forget about Embry and Ruben. At first, he didn't respond. But as I continued to kiss him, his arms moved up and down my back and his tongue slowly prodded in my mouth. I felt nothing, but that is what I wanted. I just wanted to forget and Jared Jay was there to help me.