Broken Moon

Disclaimer: I own nada.

Recap of Two Lonely Months, Part II

I dug my fingers in his dark hair and felt his hands roaming freely on my back. His tongue slowly glided over my lips, hungrily. I opened my mouth and grabbed a handful of hair and pulled his head closer to mine. His tongue slowly thrust passed my lips and explored every inch of my mouth. It was all physical desire. A fucking attraction that I didn't fucking need.

I wasn't like Addivani. I was different! Then, why the fuck was I doing this to myself, to my parents, to Jared Jay… to my Embry?

I was acting like a wanton bitch. I only wanted to forget. I wanted to erase everything that was hurting me and thus, gave in to his arms, but it was all wrong. I didn't see Ruben's face, when I closed my eyes. I saw Embry's kind smile. I saw his caring and loving face. Oh, fuck! What did I fucking do? What did I just do?

My actions were going to hurt Embry. I didn't want to see him hurt anymore. I had already punished him enough. I pushed Jared Jay away from me and clasped my hands over my mouth. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! I didn't want to even think of the pain that was going to go through Embry's heart when he saw the images in Jared Jay's mind. I didn't want to even imagine it. My angel!He'd been so kind to me and so supporting. Embry gave me enough space to clear my head. But here I was, sticking my damn tongue down someone else's throat.

"Jay," I whispered my hands still on my mouth. "This is wrong! This is so damn wrong! Oh, please forgive me. I didn't mean to kiss you." I cried nervously. I paced around anxiously, thinking about what I had done. "I didn't mean to use you. I just wanted to forget about everything. I am just so confused, Jared Jay."

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed deeply. "It's OK. I understand. You don't have to apologize." he muttered, placing his hand on the tree trunk.

He exhaled and turned to look at me, as I continued to pace like a crazy woman. "Wait!" he paused, and I stopped walking. "You know!" he hissed furiously.

"What? What is it?!" I asked ashamed, looking down at the floor.

"I don't... I don't fucking get it! I really don't understand. What the fuck just happened?" he asked angrily.

I shook my head and sobbed. I wasn't supposed to screw everything up. I needed to fix this. I didn't want…

"Hey! Stop crying, shit! Crying doesn't fix shit! Just relax and tell me what the fuck just happened." he said curtly. "Damn, I am screwed!" he said aggravated, raising his hands in the air.

"I kissed you." I blurted out, placing my hands on my stomach. I felt lost and ashamed of my actions.

"No, fucks!" he said mockingly. "I understand that! I am not a fucking dumb or an idiot or stupid." he said crossly, running his hand through his hair. "You kissed me and I responded. What the fuck was I thinking? You are Em's girl! Damn, Embry is going to decapitate me." he cursed, punching the tree trunk angrily and pacing in front of me.

"No, he won't!" I bellow. "He won't! He won't kill you. I swear that I'll take full responsibility. I will speak to him and tell him it was my entire fault." I said desperately. "Don't worry! You didn't do anything wrong. It was me. I did it to you. I took advantage of your kindness… and… and ended kissing you."

"Ha!" he said haughtily, now it was his turn to pace. He started to stride in front of me. "I kissed you! I fucking kissed and I… I fucking kissed you, Moon." he said heatedly. He stopped in front of me and gave me an irate gaze. "He's gonna cut my damn balls. Can you imagine a fucking werewolf, missing his testicles!"

I touched his arm, and felt his biceps flexed under my touch. He looked down at where my hand was and I quickly removed it. What could I do to calm him down? Oh, shit! I was getting deeper in this shit.

"Um, sorry." I muttered, looking down at the ground. I knew that everything was going to get screwed. "Jay, I apologize. I really am sorry."

He chuckled and patted my head. "You are so different from your mother. She was fearless and…"

"I am nothing like my mother or my father. I am me! I can never be like her! She is perfect, kind and amazing. I am the opposite of her! I am a fucking mistake. I have a fucked up view of my life. I am weak and I am definitely not strong like her. I screw everything up. I just hurt Embry and probably destroyed your friendship with him. I-I c-can't live like this any longer." I cried, interrupting him. "I should've died instead of Seth Jacob!"

I turned around and started to trudge back to Leah's house, but Jared Jay grabbed my arm and spun me around. He rolled his eyes and pulled me in to his arms. I buried my face in his chest and I cried. I didn't understand his change of heart, but I was glad that I could cry in his arms.

"I don't hate you, Moon." he said softly, kissing my forehead. "Just don't let it happen again, OK? Don't kiss anyone that isn't Embry, alright? Men tend to take advantage of girls that are vulnerable like you. You got it?"" he said, holding me tight in a safe embrace. I lifted my head to face him and nodded. He was smiling down at me and I had to laugh.

We stayed closed to each other for a while, until I was ready. I pulled away from him, afraid to find hatred in his eyes. He just smiled down at me and took my hand in his.

"C'mon," he said in his deep voice. "I'll take you to Leah's. I don't want you to get hurt, while I am on watch."

He held my hand all the way to La Push. It was a dark, cloudy and moonless night. I still felt sad for what happened earlier, but I had a feeling that it wasn't going to go beyond that kiss. Jared Jay was an honest person and he wouldn't jeopardize his friendship with Embry (any more than it already was).

We walked in silence, my hand in his as he guided me up Leah's front porch. "Thank you!" I said, removing my hand from his. "I appreciate your kindness." I muttered, turning around to open the front door.

"You are welcome. Just be careful next time!" he said gruffly. I nodded and opened the door. "You don't know how another guy might have acted."

"I will. Thank you and good night, Jay." I whispered, entering the house. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it. It was quiet inside and I knew that Leah should've been already asleep. She usually went to bed around ten and woke up early to go to work. But I couldn't even hear her breathing. The house was empty. She probably decided to stay at her "mysterious boyfriend's" house.

I walked to my room and sat on my bed, thinking about my entire day. I couldn't believe the fucking events of the night. I couldn't understand why I had launched myself at Jay. He was always so serious and so distant. I barely knew him; all I knew was that he was a good friend of Leah and Embry's. I should have thought things through. At least, I got to see my father. He hugged me and cried for me. He was the sweetest man in the world. My mother looked so beautiful and so did my little brother and sisters. I felt my heart swell with pride as I thought of them. My little niece, Cristal. She was so beautiful and so innocent.

Ugh! I hated her mother! She knew how to get under my skin! One of this days, I was not gonna hold back and just beat her face against a wall!

There was a soft rasp on the window and I got up to see who it was. I opened the curtain and found Jared Jay. He was waving at me.

I hurriedly opened the window and poked my head out. "What are you doing here, Jay?" I asked curiously.

"Hey, Moon!" he said softly, smiling at me. "Um," he muttered, scratching his chin. "I know that you kissed me first... but, I am also to blame. I thought that if I kissed you… I thought that if I kissed you, I could forget someone that I loved and cared for. She was the best girl in the world." he laughed nervously.

"What happened to her?" I asked curiously, staring down at him.

"Well, she moved on. She never saw the potential in me. She loved me as friend, but that was it. I never had a chance." he murmured, reaching for a strand of stray hairs and pulled it away from my face.

"Who was she?" I asked, staring attentively at him.

"She was your mother. I know that it sounds strange... but, she was so amazing and so easy to love. So, I do understand you. I know how it feels to have a person that you consider a br... forget it. I just wanted you to know that I understand how you feel." he said gloomily, tapping my head and winking at me. "Sleep tight. I'll see you tomorrow or some other day." he said, turning around.

"Am I forgiven?" I shouted, when he was getting closer to the trees.

"Only if you make Embry happy!" he shouted over his shoulder.

I didn't respond, but I knew what he meant. I knew that I would have to talk to Embry eventually. I just needed more time to think. What was I going to say to him? I was confused and just completely lost. I had to come up with a better plan to see him. I watched as Jared Jay ran and disappeared in to the darkness.

AN: Hey! How is everyone?! I pray that good and healthy. Anyways, this is the second part (of four ) of Moon's two months away from Embry. It'll get real sweet and watch out Addivani! Moon is not gonna take your shit!