Disclaimer: (Since I forgot it last time) I don't own Star Trek. I don't own Nero or Ayel (though I do have a Nero action figure, he sits on top of my TV with Spock Prime and Elvis Duck)

Warnings: This chapter has a little violence in it. SO if you don't like that why the hell are you reading Nero/Ayel? I mean seriously….

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PART 2: Feelings in hiding.

The next morning Ayel awoke with a curled-up Nero beside him, snoring quietly.
He could not lie to himself and accepted that the previous night had been one of the most amazing nights of his life. But he was now in a dangerous position.
He knew Nero only wanted him to sate his desires, and it would not last more than a night or two of rough bruising and bite marks. He hated himself for wanting more. More than he knew Nero could give.

Ayel choked down his feelings, gathered up his scattered, slightly torn clothing and swiftly exited the room.

Thankfully, the corridors were lifeless apart from him and he rushes through them, half dressed and wishing he could be back in Nero's bed.
Safe inside his quarters he slumped heavily against the wall and slowly slipped down to the floor. With a thunk he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes, simultaneously forgetting and forever preserving the memories of last night.

With a slight buzzing in the back of his skull Nero groggily opened his eyes, thankful for the smothering darkness of his room. In an effort to get more comfortable he rolled over, and that's when he noticed.

Ayel was gone.

This shocked him awake. He was hit with a gut-wrenching wave of emotions; Anger, Fear, Hurt, Rage and underneath these, the cause of those. The Love, Admiration, and Protective Possessiveness he felt for Ayel.

With a groan he crashed back into bed, the buzzing in his scull becoming a painful roar as he tried to repress his emotions. Ayel had left him. He was wrong. Ayel didn't feel for him or maybe he just wanted the sex. Nero cursed himself for feeling. Ever since Romulas was destroyed… ever since she… was destroyed, he had hated himself with a vicious rage for anything and everything he felt. For all his rage and guilt it felt for her death he loathed himself because such vile emotion should not be any way associated with such and kind and pure soul. And for every positive emotion he felt, calmness if he meditated, lust when Ayel looks at him, passion and longing when Ayel touches him, love when Ayel selflessly and loyally follows his every command he felt guilty that he could feel even slight joy in a world without her. He thought that such loyalty in Ayel was because of love and the bond they shared as something-stronger-than-Brothers.

He looked back on it now, each look and slight-smile from Ayel cast in a new light. The kind and gentle replaced with fear.
Did Ayel only acted like he acted because he was afraid of Nero? Because Nero could just throw him out an airlock or abandon him on some barren planet?

He could and probably would do those things to Ayel he realised. But Nero knew Ayel was a closet romantic, knew he liked the thought of love and needed a kind hearted soul to match his. Ayel was truly an abnormal Romulan; he was surprisingly gentle and caring but throughout his life he had learned to be fierce and ruthless. Nero noticed that his eyes would always betray him, showing his sadness through the pain he inflicted by Nero's orders. Nero smiled slightly as he was reminded of his memories of Ayel blushing and trying to hide his obvious adoration for his captain. He chuckled a little but it sent waves of pain and nausea through him.

What he felt for Ayel was not sweet and pure, it was ugly and fierce. He did not love Ayel as had once loved her…
her golden hair a halo of perfection, her smile loving and her heart caring enough to see past his tough façade and find the goodness that was in him…Before he could think or ponder further the roaring had blocked out all his thoughts and Nero slipped into unconsciousness.

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He was hiding.

In the darkness, curled up in a ball on the ground, he realised that he had to face this like a Romulan. He had to be brave and accept that he had a fatal attraction to his commanding officer. With a shuddering breath he slowly pulled himself together.

He was afraid.

Ayel was afraid of the feelings that were crushing him from the inside out, afraid that Nero would use him and throw him away, terrified beyond belief that Nero would feel something the same and Ayel would have to watch his face as Nero realises he is taking her place.

He was alone.

He was the only one who had lost no one in the destruction of Romulas. He bore the marks as the rest of the crew did. But he was singled out as the one who didn't care, who didn't understand. Nero didn't mind that about him. He was Ayel's only friend and a few days ago remarked that he felt a spark of relief that Ayel did not have to go through this pain.

And that's it.

He can't hide anymore; he has to fight through the fear because he is not alone. He has Nero and Nero has him, whether he abuses that fact or not. He can't lie here and trembling like a baby all day. Slowly he rose from the floor, his body still ached a little from last night; He took a deep breath and pulled himself together. He dressed quickly in clean shirt robes, grabbed a small hypospray and marched with a strange calmness to Nero's quarters and stood outside the door. The calmness he had walking through the halls was beginning to crumble.

Outside the door he stood. Inhaling and Exhaling.

The last thing he was expecting was for the door to open, but with a soft whoosh the panels parted, revealing a slightly surprised Nero. Ayel jumped and backed to the other side other side of the corridor. Which wasn't very far, but Nero took the distance as offence and his shock quickly turned to anger.

"What do you want, Ayel?" he spat, scowling.
"I brought you medicine, if your head hurts," Ayel gestured to the hypo with his hand.
"Oh, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you, I know you're busy, Ayel. You must have somewhere important to be" Nero's tone was biting and mean.
"V'laad Nero, I thought you would wish for me to leave," He bowed his head.
"Why would I want that?" Nero replied dangerously, with each word taking a step closer to Ayel till they were touching, chest to chest.
"Are you afraid, Ayel?" He whispered into the curved point of Ayel's ear.
Ayel forgot why he left. The reasons seemed unimportant with Nero's breath on his face.
Slowly Nero snaked one arm around Ayel's waist and the other reached up to cup his cheek. With a split second of clear thought and a doctor's precision Ayel reached up and jabbed Nero in the neck with the Hypo.
"Ow!" Nero exclaimed jumping back a little, then pinning Ayel to the wall by his shoulders. Nero glared at him. A growl erupted from his throat and he descended upon Ayel in a fiery hail of passionate kisses and bites and nips, tracing the black ink with his tongue. Neither of them remembered they were in the public corridor of a (slightly modified) mining ship which had a constant influx of busy workers swarming the halls. And neither of them thought they would be spotted by an ensign walking by.
She stood there unnoticed for a moment, her eyes wide and her jaw hanging. The ensign was transfixed by the sight of the captain and the first officer making out violently. As Captain Nero pulled back for air he spotted her and his eyes narrowed, he threw Ayel back and marched towards the poor ensign.
She tried to run but he caught her by the tail of her robe and dragger her back. He towered over her threateningly, his wild eyes burning with insanity.
"Now, now, now" He drawled "What do we have here?"
With a push he had her on her knees, bowing before him. And after a second, he crouched down so they were eye-to-eye. "I bet you wouldn't tell a soul about the little encounter, would you?" He smiled, friendly and inviting. She nodded quickly in response.
"But I wouldn't take that chance," His smile turned to a scowl and with a twist of his wrists he snapped her neck.
He stepped back from the body and looked to Ayel, who stopped clumsily getting back up and fixing his clothes to stare at the sight before him.

Nero does not look hot when he kills.
Nero is not beautiful when he flashes that sinister smile at me.
The small glint of guilt in his eyes as he looks back at the corpse does not make me…Nero punches the button for the comm. on the wall.
"Can someone get something to clean up the body outside my quarters?" He demanded.
After a moment the wall replied "…body?"
"You heard me, Ensign! I don't want my ship littered with corpses. Get someone on it."
"Yes sir."

Nero turned around to face Ayel, who was staring at the body of the young ensign with a slightly sad look in his eyes. "V'laad Nero…"
"I think we are far past formalities, Ayel." Nero interrupts
"Nero, we must talk"
An awkward silence. With a nod Nero agreed and followed Ayel into his quarters, closing and locking the door behind him.

"What am I to you, Nero?" Nero was facing the door and Ayel stood a little ways behind him. "A plaything? If this is nothing more than physical need why would you kill for it?"
After a quiet, tense moment Nero collected himself enough to turn around.
"You are more than a friend to me, Ayel"
Ayel would not look at him. Instead he glared at the ground.

"but less then a T'hy'la?" It was barely a whisper, it was heard. He lifted his head and locked eyes with Nero.
"I could never… I do… I can't --"
"You can't what, Nero?" His voice was low and his tone hurt. "You would kill to keep whatever we have a secret. I do not expect love and romance from you, Nero. I expect pain and torture and… and…"
"And, Ayel? I am broken beyond repair! I have nothing to give but a shrivelled soul. You need more -- "
"I need you, Nero. I need feeling," He reached out and gripped Nero's hands in his own, entwining their fingers and bringing them to his lips. "This, simple feeling" He breathed, sending tingles of fire through Nero's skin.
He raised his head to meet Nero's wide and disbelieving eyes "I will take you and all your cracks and severed nerves and one by one I will repair the fault lines."
"I do feel for you," Nero admitted in a breath.
And as they locked eyes and joined together once again Nero felt a small of hope. Maybe he could live again. He felt that he could belong here; with Ayel in his arms.

Thanks for reading ;)