TO: O'NEILL, JACK (john. j .oneill pentagon .hsc . osd .mil)
FROM: CARTER, SAMANTHA
SENT: 10 NOV 2311Z

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Jack -

Needed to write, but I've got nothing to really say. Words can't help.

I'm sure you know we're headed there now... You'll probably know what we find as soon as I do. And…

Damn it, Jack. Part of me wants to get there now, part of me is terrified of arriving. And part of me just wants to wake up and find this is all some horrible nightmare.

And I can't even fault us for agreeing to send him there. I mean… What parents would have refused that offer? And how could we have known… I keep telling myself, at least Daniel is with him. And that helps. A little. At least he's not alone.

Just. Jack. Please don't worry about me. I have this mental image of you chewing out some hapless NCO out of sheer frustration, and that's not going to do any of us any good. I'm holding it together here - mostly - and I need to know you are, too.

Sorry this is so disjointed. I need to get back to the bridge. Please write back as soon as you can. I love you and miss you - as always. And I need to hear from you.

Love,

Sam

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SAMANTHA CARTER
Colonel, U. S. Air Force
Commander
U.S.S. George Hammond

TO: CARTER, SAMANTHA
FROM: O'NEILL, JACK
SENT: 10NOV 2318Z

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Sam,

No. I'm fine. Don't worry about me, k?

Though of course you were right. Staff's avoiding me after what happened to the last SOB who came in here.

Yeah, I know. He didn't find it funny, either.

Which proves I'm even more worthless than usual this morning. And - you know me - that's pretty damn worthless.

I know. Not funny either. See what I mean?

At least one of us is still out there doing something useful.

And, yes. I know. Feeling sorry for myself isn't helping anything at all. But there's nothing else I can do. Here.

Just know I love you. And I really am okay. Mostly. Or will be.

See you soon.

Love Always - Jack

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JOHN J. O'NEILL
Lieutenant General, U.S. Air Force
Director of Homeworld Security

Jack was wrong, though. As Sam read his email, she did smile. A little. And, afterwards, she really did feel better. At least, a little bit better. Which, if he'd known, would have made him feel anything but worthless.

But wouldn't have changed his mind.