A/N: Thank you all for your reviews once again. They're all appreciated! I'm extremely sorry this one took so long! I've been crazy busy, but here's an update. Enjoy!

Chapter Seven: Thoughts

LPOV

My hand tingled from his hand as I drove away.

How could anyone be so absolute, so completely perfect while being so human?

I closed my eyes when I rolled to a stop. My heart was still pounding. He captivated me each time we spoke. I had never met someone with so little faith, but I saw it as warranted by the look of deep cheerlessness in his eyes that continued to darken.

What had happened to this man?

What horrors did his past hold?

Why did he choose me?

They were questions that I could not comprehend or fully acknowledge. They just existed.

We were so close, yet so far away. It seemed that I did most of the talking. Why were the best things in life so hard to get?

We'd known each other for a full week. We'd spent a full day together. I knew nothing about him, not even his sisters' names. He knew more about me, but still so little.

Yes, it was frustrating!

He was too quiet! He didn't speak his mind. It was utterly baffling when I could clearly see that he had so much to say. Perhaps I wouldn't even understand, but I would have listened if he told me.

How could I make him see that?

It was a losing fight. I doubted that I would ever be able to win it. That was the way the game was designed; I would have to accept that and move on.

It was hard to move on from thoughts of him.

I sighed, turning towards the cafe Amber worked at. She got off soon and we could go out to dinner or winder shop until Brit got off. We had to get dresses for the ball and I had to tell them that Jasper had requested I be his date. But I hardly knew him and he confused me more than anything.

Amber was waiting for me by the time I got there. She jumped in the passenger's seat. "How was worked?" I asked--stupid small talk. I was too distracted to think of anything better to say.

"Fine. What are you all quiet about?" She was suspicious already.

"Long story made short: Jasper asked me to the dance Saturday; I agreed. So I need a good dress and also I guess I need to talk to him about a few things," I said quietly, my eyes on the road.

"Such as?" Amber pressed with interest.

"Lots of stuff." I was silent then. Usually, I was around to attend the dances, balls, parties, etc. Instead of going with any of the boys who asked me, I went with one of my single girlfriends and they were my date for the night. It had been that way for months since my breakup and it was always fun. This was a new experience. The date, the boy, the occasion. It was all new.

"We'll go shopping tomorrow," Amber announced with an excited smile. "It will be awesome!" It was convenient that I only had one class on Tuesdays, Amber had Shakespeare with me, but she had another class after and Brit only had one class as well. We could just hang out on campus for a bit, perhaps collect a few other girls to join us, and we could leave around noon.

It was strange how exciting it was to know I was going with this Jasper Hale.

He was the most beautiful man I'd ever met and there was something even more interesting about him. He believed he was a monster when he wasn't! He needed help. I could see that much about him.

Upon reaching home, Amber and I made more artichoke dip and some popcorn for the movie. We curled up on the couch to watch Transformers, then Law and Order. Brit came home soon, having hitched a ride with a coworker, and joined us. We stayed up until after four AM doing homework with the tv on. One good thing about my beloved roomies: we all enjoyed late nights and we could all survive on very little sleep.

I went to bed and fell asleep instantly without any problems. I loved how deeply I slept that night; the hours felt like minutes.

My alarm went off at seven. We had a good routine already. I showered fist, then Brit and then Amber. That way, Amber and I weren't in each other's way while we were getting dressed and I could make breakfast also.

By that time, I knew Jasper only had night classes. I wouldn't see him until Saturday unless the week went differently than the previous. I was excited to see him again because i learned something new every time we spoke, even if he brought more questions than answers.

I would find more answers slowly. We did get farther each time we spoke, and the time would come when I understood a small part of him, any part.

He was too beautiful to be human, too graceful to be so young, too wise, to wondrous, too amazingly, stunningly, devastatingly perfect.

It shocked me.

We got to school, went to our classes, and met back at my truck once Amber got out. I drove, like always. Though Amber and Brit both loved the attention my truck brought, they were terrified to even attempt to drive it, and I was unwilling to let them with my fear of their reckless driving.

We agreed to go to JCPenny and Macy's first since they usually had the best selection.

Shopping with my room mates was an adventure on its own. No topic was off limit and we knew each other to well to lie or keep secrets. We were three completely different people from opposing backgrounds, united by our close blond. Perhaps we weren't best friends, but we were close. I loved them dearly, despite our differences.

"How did he ask you?" Brit asked, leaning forward from the back seat. "Tell us every single word! He's cute."

I rolled my eyes. "He just asked."

"Ugh, you're so boring today," Amber muttered, shoving me a bit. She was right. I was quiet, yes, but neither of them had even spoken to Jasper before. They didn't like lean guys though. He wasn't their type, and I was glad.

He was exactly my type. But I couldn't even earn the title of friend to him, not that I could see anyway. I didn't know him well enough to even think of having a crush on him. He was too confusing for me... right?

"No details at all?" Brit pressed.

"There's none to give," I replied. "Sorry. He asked me to go to repay him for buying him the suit, okay?"

"What!?" they demanded together.

"Dear Lace let someone pay her back for her generosity?" Amber inquired with a grin. It was rare. Most of the time, I refused to let anyone repay me. My roomies knew that more than anyone, but they never tried to pay me back. They took advantage of my car, my money, my generosity, etc. How I loved them though! They brought some color to my life.

"Don't sound so amazed. The suit cost twice as much as he'll pay," I pointed out. Then I still had to get him a tie, a shirt, shoes, and perhaps a few more outfits now that I knew his size.

"Oh, so she only takes partial repayment!" Brit remarked. "Or she likes him enough to suggest that she pay for the tickets, whichever."

"He has more money than her though. Did you see his sexy car?" Amber whispered as if I wasn't even there. They did a lot of that and I came to realize that they only did it when they wanted me to give a reaction. If I pretended to ignore them, they would soon stop.

But his car was sexy! Even I had to admit that, even if it was done silently.

Jasper was more of an old fashioned manly instead of a modern sexy. His was so strange! But in a good way! His perfect, military posture, his soft smile that was only displayed at certain times. He was hidden, so deep. There was more to him than I could ever observe with my eyes, and I couldn't explain that.

It just was.

I would never know unless he chose to tell me. Why would he do that though? He didn't seem the type to tell whatever was on his mind. He was more the pillar of wounded strength, and I could only guess.

What happened when guessing wasn't enough?

I Knew the time would come.

We pulled up to JCPenny and walked across the parking lot with our arms linked together. There was so much to do. We all had to find the perfect dress for the ball and we would begin our search for the perfect dress for homecoming also.

We'd been through this a hundred times.

We all grabbed as many dresses as we could carry and fled to the dressing rooms to decide which ones were decent, worth buying, horrible, and not mentionable. With all our categories, the process could get rather complicated.

It yanked my mind away from Jasper though! Time would tell what involvement he would or wouldn't have in my life. It was a waste of time thinking about things I could not change immediately.

But it still felt as if Jasper would disappear instantly! He had no other special connections or friends. Just me and his family. It bothered me that I would be the only one to truly notice if he vanished. He had the power to do so, perhaps the will also.

I could tell he was down often, but I did not know how far down the hole he was. It was another question to ask.

Why did I feel so obligated to help and why was I so anxious to listen when he wasn't speaking?

All of it frustrated me.

Being with two of my best friends help to distract me. We were completely different people with opposing backgrounds. They could always make me laugh, and I was somehow allowed to play "dolls" with them, as they called it. I could pick out their dresses, shoes, bags, even their accessories. I loved it!

All day was free for us to shop. But we finished at JCPenny around four PM and went to get a very late lunch on our way to Macy's. We'd each bought a few things, but we hadn't found our dresses yet. We were all starving--food had to come first.

I hated not knowing every street around like I did in Los Angeles. New Haven was smaller, just different. The west and New England were almost nothing alike. I was somewhat out of place in this world, but Yale University had been a life long dream and the opportunity of a lifetime. When I was accepted, I was a mess of smiles for a week--more than usual.

There was a small pride in being able to go there after my rock bottom had hit.

I'd escaped and things continued to look up.

Life is a roller coaster ride, wherever you are and whatever your life is like overall.

I hated that--why couldn't life be more simple? The complications, like Jasper, did make things more interesting, yes. He was like a character from a novel. He had all the characteristics--intense beauty, mysterious character, but a good one. He reminded me more of a Rhett Butler or a Mr. Darcy than Troy Bolton. Personally, I preferred Rhett or Mr. Darcy--I had cruses on both for some time. Jasper didn't seem modern to me for some reason. I knew how crazy that was because he could not have been much more than twenty-five years old. It just seemed that way, despite the impossibilities.

We reached a small Italian restaurant and sat down. My thoughts of Jasper were truly out of hand!

"I'll pay," I announced with a sigh.

"God in Heaven, Lace! You're going to go bankrupt, you know?" Brit said, and I ignored her. They may not have fully appreciated all the times I forced them to let me dress them up, but there were times in the past when I wanted to have someone dress me up or buy me lunch. They would thank me one day! Until then, I would still buy them clothes, shoes, food, coffee. They claimed I had maternal instincts; I only rolled my eyes.

"We should have a barbecue sometime," I said. Planning parties was another thing I loved to do. Birthdays, graduation, weddings, I loved parties in general.

Damn my socialization!

"So do you like Jasper?" Amber wondered when we got our food. She was being serious, which meant she wouldn't tease me about the answer, whatever it was.

"I'm not sure if that's the right word. He's addicting. I like parts of his character, the parts that I've seen, I like his manners, I like some things about him, but it's not as if I know every detail about him. We're hardly even friends."

"That's boring," Brit replied. "But he asked you to go with him. I don't think most guys would try to pay you back in that way unless they liked you."

She had more experience in the dating world, but I believed I knew more about boys. I'd always been a bit of a tomboy. And besides, Jasper was nothing like other boys. He was his own person with his own mind and body. He was so strange to me because it seemed there was a truth he could not tell me, yet he tried so hard to warn me anyway, and he was reluctant to tell the alternate story, which wasn't necessarily lying. Half truths maybe?

I ran my hand through my hair, staring down at the table. Then I smiled. "We could invite Jasper on our trip to my grandma's house for Christmas," I said. We always brought friends. Amber and Brit had come the year before. They knew the drive from New Haven to Los Angeles was crazy, but the drive from LA to Midland, Texas, was worse. We piled at least fifteen people in three or four cars. Our close family in LA, our friends that came, and then we had my guinea pigs, my dogs, my cat, and my horse too. We took turns driving each car and we used walkie talkies to talk when needed. Mostly, whoever was in the car with us was enough entertainment without outside communication though. Unless we had a good joke to share. It would throw Jasper out of his element even more, but I wanted to see him let loose, to truly laugh, to relax the tense posture, his clenched jaw. I wanted to see him look happy.

Christmas was over four months away. I had time to grow close to him, close enough to drag him on the fifteen hour drive from LA to Midland.