I was truly inspired by the song Whatcha Say? for this chapter. Not so much Jason Derulo's original version but Lisa Scinta's cover. Look it up on youtube. I feel like it captures the regret in this chapter. It's a short chapter, but it was also an incredibly difficult chapter for me to write. Please leave a review for inspiration and as always thank you for reading. -Jen

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or quotes from Grey's Anatomy, nor do I own the lyrics to Jason Derulo's song Whatcha Say?

Chapter 17-Watcha Say

Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did…

I was so wrong for so long
Only trying to please myself

Melanie was pouring over the chart that she had managed to steal from the nurses' station; her mother's chart. She shouldn't have been allowed to just take it but there was no one who was really going to stop her. By this point everybody knew what the situation was. Mel could hardly walk down the hall to the bathroom without overhearing people talking about her in a pitying tone or worse. The worst was the people who offered her sympathy and told her "if you need anything…" She knew it would be rude to shout down their offers with "I need my mother to be ok, but I don't think you can do that." No, she had too much class to do that. Instead she answered with the polite "Thank you, I'll keep that in mind," and continued on her way. She knew that she shouldn't be mad at her colleagues for just wanting to be there, but she was angry at the world right now. Ted still hadn't called her back despite the twenty odd voice messages she had left telling him that something was wrong and he needed to call her immediately. She had even tried to call her step-sister, but Olivia had apparently changed her phone number.

She was angry at the man who put her mother here. She knew that despite their estrangement, Kathleen would never purposely hurt someone. Whoever did this to Kathleen was a cold hearted bastard. Melanie knew the police were looking for him, but they had almost nothing to go on. All they had was the gun he had threatened her mother with and left in the car in a panic. She could only imagine the cold panic her mother must have felt as she was forced to drive to an unknown destination. She shivered at her imagination.

Both Kathleen and the baby had made it through the surgery all right. They weren't completely out of the woods yet, but their situation was hopeful. Melanie sat alone in the room. Dan had to get back to work. She had nowhere else to be, so there she sat for hours. She stared towards her mother, thinking of all the words she had left unsaid, the regrets she had over the years. All of a sudden she was sobbing, "I'm so sorry Mom." She was almost positive that her mother was deaf to her tears and apologies, but she couldn't let it go any longer. "I was wrong. I shouldn't have said the things I said, I know that now and I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could take it back, all of it." Her tears caught up with her and she couldn't say anything. It was a heart wrenching image of a daughter fearing the worse. Melly had morphed into a scared little girl and four years of medical school wasn't convincing her that everything was going to be all right. She couldn't picture it. Her mother was still lying lifeless in the austere hospital bed with a tube down her throat. Melanie's eyes were watching the floor. "You only were trying to look out for me. I acted like a spoiled brat. I hope you can hear me, because I mean this."

That was when she heard a gasping noise from the bed. "Mom?" she looked and saw her mother trying to breathe against the tube. She leapt out of the chair, pressing the emergency button. "Relax; the tube was helping you breathe." The nurse and a third year resident entered the room to remove the ventilator. Melanie held her breath for a moment, releasing it only when her mother took her first solo breath since entering the room. "You don't need to say anything. I was afraid I wouldn't get this chance." The tears silently fell down her face, but she was smiling. Kathleen took Melanie's hand, not effortlessly, and gave it a gentle squeeze. Their eyes met and both knew that all was forgiven. Nothing else needed to be said.