They'd been driving an hour in virtual silence, all truly safe topics exhausted.
They couldn't even talk about work or past cases as that meant acknowledging the presence of the other during those times, and neither particularly wanted to talk about they childhood.
The only truly safe thing they'd found they could discuss was the weather, and even that reminded them both of other times and soon they had been forced into silence.
Grissom glanced across at Sara and found her staring straight ahead, chewing her lip slightly. She was nervous, he could tell by the fact she was chewing the left hand side of her lip instead of her right, the way she was tapping 3 of her fingers on her thigh.
He suddenly realised how well he could read her, he could tell how she was feeling from the amount of fingers she was tapping or drumming on a surface, he knew that 2 fingers or chewing the right hand side of her lip meant she was thinking, he knew that tapping three fingers and chewing the right hand side of her lip meant she was nervous, knew that tapping four fingers and the toes on one foot meant she was bored.
He glanced back at her and saw her tapping one finger and running a hand through her hair and leave it at the back of her head. She was confused.
And he didn't blame her, he was confused. Confused about what he felt, about why he had suggested this, about what she thought, about what needed to be said, what should always go unsaid, about everything.
Sara continued tapping one finger as she saw Grissom glance at her out of the corner of her eye. She kept her eyes staring straight ahead., knowing that if she looked at him she would say something stupid and made a silent promise to herself, she had always gone running to him, always followed his example, never done anything he wouldn't have liked and she'd had enough. She was her own woman, a person in her own right instead of needing to fit to his definition and idea of her. She used to be in charge of herself when they had first met and she could do it again.
She wouldn't be strung along on this trip but actually go with what she needed, not what he thought she needed.
Maybe this was the thing she had been waiting for, when all was out in the open maybe she truly could get over him and have it all done with.
Grissom could no longer manage to control his thoughts after another half hour and inevitably they drifted back to Sara. He had slowly allowed himself to feel more and more instead of shutting it all out, he realised it had become a habit, whenever he had felt any feelings for Sara as anything more than a supervisor he had pushed them aside and locked them away and he couldn't do that anymore, not if this trip was to get them anywhere.
But now he didn't know what would happen if this trip didn't help, if it broke their friendship, if it destroyed all hope of a relationship ever happening between them. Their friendship was already damaged, possibly beyond repair, he just hoped he could repair it.
He heard a slight sigh from the side of him and turned to see Sara sleeping calmly, he smiled slightly and wished he could just sit and gaze instead of having to watch the road, he hummed slightly to himself and began to keep an eye out for motels, they were far enough away from the lab and it was unlikely any cases would call the team out here and he couldn't think of any cases they'd had in this area, making it an entirely new slate, exactly what they both needed.
He pulled into a car park at the next decent looking motel they passed. As he stopped the car and cut the engine he looked at Sara, still sleeping peacefully, her head resting sidewards against the seat, seeming to face him. Reluctantly he drew his eyes away from her face and headed inside to check about rooms.
Soon he had returned to the car with 2 room keys in his hand, he glanced at Sara, deciding to leave her sleeping for as long as he could so she could rest.
He pulled both bags out of the trunk and carried them up to the adjacent rooms before heading back down to the car to wake Sara.
When he arrived back at the car park and saw her still form again he didn't want to wake her, she'd never really slept well, too haunted by old memories and fears, old cases and an active imagination to truly keep nightmares away. He reached into the car and touched her shoulder gently, "Sara, we're here, you need to wake up."
He watched as her eyes fluttered open and she muttered something unintelligible in reply and her eyes slowly slid shut again.
He placed a hand on her shoulder again, but she just turned away refused to wake up.
Eventually he shut his door and went around to her side, scooping her up into his arms, locking the car then carrying her up to her room.
When he reached their floor she partly awoke and found herself nuzzled against his chest and felt herself being laid gently on the bed. As she slowly drifted back to sleep she felt a hand gently pull the hair away from her face and a blanket being draped over her before her eyes closed again.