A/N: Thanks again for all your amazing reviews! I'm always grateful for any constructive criticism also! Since I actually finish writing my stories before I post them, it's generally too late to change anything and correct them with the current story. I do that because I start stories every week and only finish a couple. But I always try work on it with the next project. So thank you again! I love you all! :)

Chapter Nineteen: Debate

JPOV

She took my hand.

It had been so long.

For the first time in nearly a century, I felt hope.

I felt something.

Anything other than the deep, empty hole inside me would do me good.

Alice filled the void.

She wrapped me in her arms and she didn't let me slip through, even in the times I felt like I would.

She was my purpose.

I smiled at her before I lifted her into my arms. She felt as light as air. She wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face in my chest.

I could have held her all day, but Carlisle pushed the wheelchair forward. He could tell what was going on.

I set Alice down gently. She held my hand even t hen; she would never let me go so easily.

"Wait," she told Carlisle before he could push the wheelchair towards the door. She handed him her camera. "Can you take a picture of us, please?" She sounded as if she was willing to beg.

I grinned at her tone.

Travis would arrive any minute.

But Carlisle nodded and I crouched down next to my Alice.

The camera flashed; Carlisle handed it back.

Alice looked at it for only seconds, then smacked my chest. "You have to look at the camera, Jasper!" she exclaimed with my favorite smile. She looked adorable that way.

"I thought I was," I replied, and caught her second swing easily, chuckling.

"You're a liar," she accused. "You were just unaware that you were facing me?"

"Well, I have peripheral vision," I told her.

Alice laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. For one reason or another, we didn't take another picture though where I was facing the camera. She took my hand once more as Carlisle moved to push her towards the visiting area to wait for Travis. She knew exactly what I needed and when, the perfect moments to hold my hand. Perfection, that was one word that came to mind when I saw her.

Travis walked in just as we did. He was small, like Alice, but he obviously worked out. He had his dark hair cut short and spiked. He ran forward to greet Alice with a look of concern mixed with the big brother protection I knew well from my own experiences, even if they were so long ago.

They hugged. Alice released my hand. I knew she saw how I tensed. Carlisle was more anxious also. I shook my head once, a subtle movement no human could have seen; I was fine. It was her brother. He smelled like her somehow while being nowhere near as delicious. My throat ached though.

"Hey! You okay?" Travis asked.

Alice nodded quickly, smiling happily. "Fine." Her tone made me roll my eyes! She was pushing off her problems again. "This is Carlisle Cullen and my friend Jasper Hale. My brother Travis."

I smiled through my annoyance, shaking Travis' hand. "It's nice to meet you," I said through clenched teeth. Blood still bothered me. I still lived off it. New scents that hit me so suddenly were like bricks being thrown at me.

"I'm the doctor that handled your sister's operation," Carlisle announced, no strain.

A short conversation that consisted of Carlisle explaining the procedure and Alice groaning, glaring, and then drumming her fingers in impatience and annoyance due to the fact that someone was actually concerned about her. Just before I was about to reach over and force her to stop, Carlisle suggested that we should leave the siblings alone. And we left then. Travis and my Alice surely had a lot to discuss. I watched her over my shoulder until she was out of view. I sighed then, glancing at Carlisle. I could learn a lot from him. He was the closest thing to a father I had, even if I had only known him so long.

He was the only person whose approval I would like to have. I didn't know what his position was on my relation with Alice. He would never stand against it from my best guess, but he may not have believed it was a good idea.

Then maybe he would have understood too. He had a wife, someone he loved so passionately.

I looked over my shoulder again. Alice would be fine without me, but I was worried about her. Healing would take time, which I knew. She needed the time.

I was just paranoid.

"Jasper, are you sure about this?" Carlisle began as we walked down an empty hallway. "You're bringing her into a dangerous world with more than just you. She's vulnerable and she doesn't know it."

I nodded. "I won't let anything happen to her, Carlisle, I swear. She's not going to be killed."

"You don't have to prove anything to me or swear it. I know you'll do your best to protect her, but every human dies someday. She will too. There won't always be a way to save her."

"There's one way," I said, almost inaudible even to his ears.

Carlisle frowned. "That's not a good way to save someone all the time," he pointed out.

I smiled. "I'm not going to." I paused as a group of nurses walked past us. Their scent again burnt my throat. "I would never do that to her or let it happen. She doesn't deserve this life. I meant I could love her, do my best never to hurt her, and to preserve all the memories needed to keep her alive in spirit. That's all I can do for her. I don't have anything else to offer her."

"What if you tell her and she reacts like most would?"

"She won't." I was sure of that.

"You can't know that, Jasper."

"No, but I know Alice. She can think it through and decide what she wants. That decision will be hers. I can't change her mind, which she's proven."

Carlisle stopped and turned to me. "It's your choice and we will stand by you. However, Alice has been traumatized once. She trusts you and she needs that security. Maybe now isn't the best time to tell her."

"I can't lie anymore, Carlisle. Not anymore."

"You don't need to lie, but the truth may not be the best thing for her."

"Lying won't help! I can't go on like--"

"Jasper, she knew the shooter," Carlisle interrupted calmly, and I stopped. He would make his point. He was thinking of Alice's health and he knew more than I did... I would listen. "She trusted him as a friend. She cared for him. He was someone she saw everyday, laughed with, bonded with, she put her faith in him. That trust was shattered. If you break her trust now, what do you think will happen?"

I clenched my jaw. He had a good point actually! "So how do I tell her without lying to her either?" I asked.

"You're not lying to her, Jasper. She can observe things for herself, solid facts, and you haven't done anything to mislead her."

"What human would look at me or you or Esme or Emmett or anyone of us and think we are... what we are?" I hated to say it! "Being here in society is doing the misleading. I don't need to," I replied in frustration.

"She'll understand."

That was something I could believe. She was too understanding. It worked in my favor at times, but it didn't always work that way. There was a limit to all things, including Alice's patience with me. I was scared of the day the limit came.

I sighed. "She shouldn't have to," I said before walking away. I needed time alone to think.

All the original problems had resurfaced, along with my original debate.

I was in a situation and that was that.

Now what?

I didn't want to just let fate work its way through my life. I wanted to control one section of it. I wanted to know how this would end with Alice.

How would it ever end well?

It ended with death at every angle. She would be killed or she would die.

I hated both, but I had her now. I could live with her memory. It wouldn't be the same and it would be hard. I could manage if it became necessary.

It would! I was destined to lose Alice, my Alice.

I took a deep breath. I had the entire hospital to wander. The sun was out. I couldn't leave Alice anyway, wherever she was.

She was eighteen. Sixty, seventy years from now, and she would be gone.

Maybe it was a mistake to fall for her.

I couldn't even help it though! She was more than I'd ever imagined. She was too important to leave behind now. It was too late; what could I do to change this?

Life was short, even for me.

Too short for regret.

I stopped when I reached the main entrance. There were so many places to go in the world and I would never be able to go to them.

My life was a prison, my body was a cage, and I couldn't escape either.

Life felt hopeless when I thought that way.

It wasn't my right to restrict Alice's life when she was so free before. It was wrong!

The debate went around and around and all I could think of was that she was the escape. She was.

I had no answers.

Then I saw Alice outside, a smile on her face as she leaned back in the sun. Free. She was from LA. I would destroy that freedom.

She glanced my way, despite Travis' presence, as if she could sense my eyes on her. Her smile widened.

I returned it.

No, I didn't need answers. Not while I had her. She was all I needed.