A/N: You guys are awesome! Your reviews are all so encouraging and I love you all! Here's the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy this.

Chapter Twenty: His

LPOV

Jasper became my constant companion.

He was there by my side as I graduated from a wheelchair to crutches and then the aid of his hand was enough.

He was there each night, his cool arms around my waist.

I woke up each morning with a smile on my face and he would kiss my forehead. I never quite understood what the intent was behind the action; I could never read his face.

His eyes were closed. He looked to be in pain, but not like usual. It seemed deeper.

He was holding onto something, not just me. Not just physical either.

I got the feeling I stood for something to him. I felt like he saw someone else when he looked at me or at least like he saw a distorted image of me.

I could not be all of what he thought I was.

But there he was, faithful and he didn't go.

I rested my head on his shoulder. We were on the couch together at home watching X-Men Origins Wolverine. He'd been in my apartment all weekend and we hadn't talked about more than the weather or something with the same amount of importance.

I tucked my blanket under my chin. His touch was cold to me, even though my thick comforter that was doubled over to make it warmer.

Jasper rubbed my arm gently. "You warm enough?" he asked softly in my ear.

I nodded. "Yes."

He caressed my head once, then he let out a slow breath that told me he was thinking about something more than weather, like I was.

I leaned back to get a better look at him. "What?" I asked. We had to find a good topic! I was tired of the silence between us now. It was exhausting to me. I could never distinguish his mood anymore; it was as if I didn't know him at all. He had something on his mind and now he wouldn't tell me. I couldn't guess.

Jasper shook his head. "Nothing."

"If it was nothing, you wouldn't say that. Why won't you tell me?"

"It's complicated, Alice. I'm sorry."

I sighed, clenching the blanket's edge. "Maybe it wouldn't be so complicated if you told me," I replied quietly. "Talking does help sometime, but it's up to you."

Jasper nodded, hugging me closer. "True, true," he whispered thoughtfully. "I just don't know how to tell you or explain it. My life just doesn't work out easily. I want to do the right thing, but there isn't a right thing to do in that situation, this situation." He watched the look of disbelief on my face then. I still didn't know why he wouldn't tell me. I was there to listen, but it wouldn't be any good if he refused to tell me this part of his life.

"Okay, fine. I'm here if you need to though," I told him. Not annoyed or frustrated. Curious. "If you ever need to talk to anyone about anything, you know where I am."

Jasper nodded, no smile. That was a sure sign something was wrong. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," I said dryly.

Jasper grinned for a moment. At least he could still find amusement in the tiniest things about my tone or facial expression. He signed and sat up. I shifted so he could stand. He put his hands behind his back in a more military posture than usual. He began to pace in front of me in frustration. I could see he was trying to find the words to describe what was going on inside his mind. I could see that he was trying desperately. He didn't need to try so hard. I would have listened to a story that made no sense if it helped him.

"Alice, I can't lie to you like this anymore. I can't tell you the truth either. Not the full truth anyway. Here's what I can tell you and you'll probably think I've lost my mind, but..."

He turned to me sharply. "I'm not alive. I'm stuck like this forever, no heartbeat, lungs that don't need oxygen. I am frozen in this body with the same height, weight, hair color, etc. forever." He paused to let me absorb that much. I stared, unable to go that far in seconds alone. I was too shocked, but his eyes swore it was the truth. My mind was trying to catch up with what he said. Now he had more to tell me...

"I was born in 1843 in Montgomery, Texas. I fought in the Civil War. I died in 1863. I'm only twenty technically. I could go on for hours, Alice! Please believe that I never meant to lie to you and I know none of this makes sense to you. I do not excuse the lies I told you in anyway, but can you ever believe me now?" He was pleading.

Everyone else, every sane person in the world would have announced him mad at that very second. Instead, I was too surprised by now and my mind was ticking too fast. It got past the shock and the few seconds of disbelief to the point where I took a deep breath, finally remembering to breathe. Was I actually naive enough to believe him?

I nodded. He needed someone to believe him and I was there. He trusted me. I didn't want to let him down. I would rather believe it and be stupid to do so than to not believe him and hurt him. I nodded again. "Yes," I breathed out, my voice hardly audible.

Jasper scoffed. "Please..." Disbelief on his part after he had been pleading.

I stood and took his hand. "No, I believe you, Jasper. I would be stupid not to. You haven't given me a reason not to." I put my free hand on his ice cold cheek, waiting for him to look at me and trying to understand my own emotions that came over me. "I believe you," I insisted. "I trust you."

Jasper sighed, placing a hand on either side of my face. "Alice, why? Why are you so good to me? Why are you so perfect?" he asked. I heard how broken hearted he was. I would never be able to comprehend what he had been through in the past years. He looked at me like I had everything he needed.

I shook my head. "Jasper, don't please. I'm not what you want."

"I would say that I'm a better judge of that," he remarked, a short smile and a glance away. "I know what I want."

"I'm telling you that you shouldn't--"

He cut me off with a firm finger on my lips. "It's too late," he replied softly, leaning his forehead down to touch mine. "Alice, I used to believe I was here for no reason, that I would have been better off if I'd left this world rather than being preserved in this damned state for eternity. I've tried to kill myself." He gave me a look that silenced my scolding before it began. "We can't die, Alice. Not that easily. I hate what I am. I hate what I've done. I hate that I have to live with both for the rest of my life, however long that might me." He paused for a moment, running his fingertips over my lips. He closed his eyes momentarily. "You made life beautiful to me, Alice, every part of it." He stopped when he saw the tears in my eyes, and he was obviously concerned.

I shook my head to tell him I was fine and he wiped them away gently.

"You make me want to live another day if I can just see you or hear your voice. I don't know how to live another day without you. I--I can't. I love you with every part of my existence. I want to show you, but I can't. Not until you know the full truth, not yet."

I could tell what he meant. He couldn't decide what my tears meant either. "Jasper," I whispered, sighing. "No, I do understand to some extent. I care for you too." I shook my head in confusion. Care-for wasn't exactly the right way to describe it. "You help me."

"And how's that?" he demanded in disbelief.

I smiled at his tone of voice. "My ex," I told him simply, and he rolled his eyes, looking away from me again. "I used to think he would be the best relationship in my life and that there was nothing more. I thought he would be the one man that didn't let me down. So when he did, I swore I would never trust another man. You are a whole new story. Trusting you feels right. It was right. Not every man in the world will let me down and you're there. I don't know why, but you were protective of me, caring, and it made me feel like I mattered," I told him quietly. I was trying not to breakdown all over again.

"You made me see when you cared and that you do care," I finished.

Jasper smiled at me, almost to say that I should have told him sooner. "I do care," he said simply then. "I do love you. Wholeheartedly. Can you ever let me stay like this? Can you let me love you when I am dangerous and can we just be careful until I know how to tell you?"

I nodded. "Can you wait for me to stop being afraid of being hurt?"

Jasper wrapped me in his arms. He held me to his marble chest. Stone cold and just as hard, but the feeling wasn't so bitter. He kissed the top of my head. "Yes," he answered. So simple.

I let out a breath, my heart beating fast. Was this how the lamb felt before the lion made its move? Was the lion as nervous as I was? Was the lamb? Which was I anyway?

Jasper sat down on the couch with me. He held my hand. He curled me up in his arms, partially on his lap. I was so small there. I didn't feel intimidated. No fear, no anxiety, no pain. I felt safe, safer than I ever had before. Jasper was there, a silent oath sworn to protect me no matter what happened.

Time would tell what this immortal would do for me and my life. I would have to wait; I was willing to do so.

Jasper was there; I was his, his to hold as long as he needed to, wanted to.

I was his.

I put my arms around his waist, unwilling to ever let go. In a lifetime of hurt, pain, anger, this was the one good thing that held no question in my mind.

I did love him, even if I didn't know why yet. I didn't know why I was so drawn to him.

Reasons weren't important to me.

He was my guardian.

He held my body to his frame. Nothing so cold ever felt so warm to me.

I smiled to myself. "Can I invite you home with me for Christmas?" I asked. "We drive to Midland, Texas,, to visit my grandma. I want you to meet my family."

Jasper looked surprised, amused. "You're asking me if you can invite me on a road trip to my home state for Christmas?" he inquired around a coming chuckle.

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess so."

Jasper grinned, looking at the tv as he placed his hand on my back to support my weight more comfortably. "Sure," he said. "I want to meet your family, but I would like you to meet mine too." It was only a suggestion, a request because he knew I had figured out I was the reason they continued to fight. That wasn't so hard to see though.

I nodded. "I would love to." It was true, even if I was ridiculously nervous already. I wanted to meet his family as a whole and understand why they were so bitter towards Jasper. He didn't deserve any of that! He wasn't trying to do wrong. He wasn't trying ot hurt them or anyone else. He deserved happiness, didn't he? Just the same as them. Some happiness just shouldn't be questioned, even in the times when it makes the least sense.

Jasper smiled at me. "Not yet. Not until you're stronger," he told me, running his hand over my back. I could tell the idea bothered him somehow, but I never mentioned it.

We looked back at the television together.

"Your family is like you?" I asked soon.

"Yes. Carlisle has been like this the longest. He created his wife Esme, all of my siblings also. They've been with him all along. He helps them."

"Not you?" The question seemed so obvious to me. "Carlisle helped them?" It made me curious.

Jasper sighed deeply. "I wasn't created by Carlisle," he began. "He didn't find me until a while ago." He made it sound like hours when I knew it was months. "He saw that I had one more plan to kill myself and we both knew it would be the one to succeed. He asked me to give life one more chance. One year, that's all he asked of me. I'd heard of him before. I respected him without any personal knowledge of what he was like. I promised to try to live and to try his lifestyle for some reason I wasn't even sure of and I'm still not. How hard could it be--really? Six months, the first months were the worst. I hated them all more than ever. I had more free time and my word to Carlisle prevented me from leaving.

"I wasn't bound by the promise. I just felt obligated to stay. Now the year is almost over, two more months. Then I can leave Carlisle and his family if I wish without any fear at all or regret. But now I don't want to leave the world. I may not be able to stay. With Carlisle, they move around a lot. But I want to stay here with you forever."

"Then stay," I whispered with a small smile. He was with me. He was there. That meant something and I was glad he was there. I needed something in him that made him who he was. Part of me said it was the supposed monster, the immortality, whatever shaped his character the most, what made him Jasper.

"When do I get to meet them then?" I asked.

"Soon. Your cast can come off in two more weeks and then there's all of December."

"What about Thanksgiving?" Even if it was technically before I got my cast off.

I saw Jasper's cringe and raised an eyebrow. "Food, right? Well, Alice, we don't eat... or sleep. It's part of the life and neither effects us. We go on as if we don't need either. We don't actually."

"Oh... Well, it's this week."

Jasper sighed. "I'll see when Carlisle works and ask him," he vowed.

"You have to go home to do that," I whispered.

"I can call," he pointed out, trying to stop his grin, and I laughed in pure joy. Was he truly so reluctant to leave me? It was charming. Flattering.

"Will they be angry if I do come?" I asked quietly, afraid of what the answer was. It was bad enough that I caused all of this in the first place. I felt bad about it too. His family was all he had the past months; I was slowly and unconsciously destroying that for him.

Jasper shook his head. "They all had a rock bottom at some point. They know how I feel partially. Carlisle knows more than anyone. He wouldn't do one thing to make this go away," he told me, stroking my hair gently. "The others generally follow his lead. They'll accept it, even if they don't like the idea. Besides, they don't know you like I do. Once they get to know you, they will accept it and they'll learn to welcome you into the family."

"You don't sound very sure," I told him.

"Well, you're mortal. It's a bit different than with the others. Carlisle and Esme won't care, but the others might," he explained. "If you find out the whole truth about us, we could all be killed. It's dangerous for them too because you'll know about more than just me and they're part of the reason you need to know."

"Oh," I whispered, trying to connect the new dots he'd given me. "Did you fight for the Union or the Confederacy?"

"The Confederacy." He saw my look and shook his head quickly. "The Civil War wasn't originally about slavery."

"I know. It was about secession from the North."

"Very good. It didn't become about slavery until years later. We had the right to leave the Union. I believed that as much as the next person. I joined the war because of that belief and I quickly went through the ranks. I was a major by the time of my death. You have to understand what slaves meant to the South."

"Did you own any?" Another answer I was afraid of. I knew it wasn't all like in Uncle Tom's Cabin or the small parts in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Still, there was always that problem, the discrimination, all of that. There was the aftermath.

Jasper nodded. I was glad he was honest with me about it. "Yes. Not many though. My father never liked the idea. We owned two maids, a butler, and a few field hands. Mostly my brothers and I helped. Our state was large. We worked twelve hours a day, sometimes more. We needed the help. We had a ranch where..." He rolled his eyes. "I know it's no excuse for that, but we needed the help to keep the ranch going. We didn't treat them badly. Not like that anyway. It wasn't a means of power over them or for the money. We needed them to survive."

It didn't completely make sense, but I hadn't ever tried to work a ranch, much less back in a time like that. "Okay... So were they good workers?" Gone With the Wind was my favorite movie. This was a chance to talk to someone who lived and breathed that. I wanted to know every single detail I could get out of him before he decided I'd heard enough stories and needed to rest.

Jasper nodded with a grin, like he couldn't figure out why I would ask such things. "Yes. My father was very picky about his workers," he answered. He sighed deeply while he looked towards the tv again. I would have usually assumed that it was a sign he'd given me enough information for the time being, but he looked longing too. "I miss that life."

"Which part?"

"All of it. The work gave me something to think about. Not many people could survive that now. They're either not strong enough mentally or physically or they just couldn't handle the ups and downs, the good years that slowly turned into a year where you barely made it through while working every bit as hard as before. It was hard, but I liked it. I was happy."

I nodded in understanding. "Did you have a girl?"

Jasper looked down at me to fully read my expression. My face was scrunched up in worry. I was jealous at the thought. But Jasper shook his head quickly to reassure me. "No one steady. I've never been good with the female gender to be honest. I tend to get nervous and I was too shy for the most part. I never knew how to pursue someone without coming off as intimidating or intimated myself. I was more the type to discuss business at the parties." That wasn't at all what I saw in front of me, but things had changed quite a bit. His manners now were extremely good. They weren't lacking then, but then again they didn't seem like Rhett Butler or Frank Kennedy either.

"You never danced at parties?"

"No, I did dance." My face distorted into a glare that time. It wasn't as if I wasn't guilty of a few dances before I met Jasper. "When there wasn't enough men, but there was always more boys than girls. Dancing was rare for me. I would dance with my sisters sometimes. Unlike you, I never had much practice at socializing."

"Mm..." I saw the nervous look that flashed across his face when he caught my grin. I hit his chest with close to no force. He could have stopped me, but he only laughed. "We should fix that though," I told him.

"And how do you plan to do that, my Alice?" He was so patient! Even when it was obvious he knew I was plotting his torture as we spoke.

"A party. A homework binge, a shopping trip, a concert," I listed.

Jasper raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

I glowered at his defiant tone. "Yes. We go to New York City a few times a year to shop, get away, etc. We'll have to plan our first trip. Unless you have a good reason to object."

He waited, like he was about to argue, but he nodded submissively. "Anything you want. Name the day and I'll go without question. Plan to stop at all the stores you want, concerts, parties, bring whoever you want," he instructed.

I raised one eyebrow in surprise. "Really? You'll go along with it?"

Jasper nodded. "Of course. Anything for my Alice."

I smiled. I liked the idea of being his. It was a refreshing, beautiful thought. Belonging to someone didn't bother me as long as I was his and only his. I wanted him to hold me for the rest of time, hold me in his arms where I would always be and feel safe, secure, and happy.

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