A/N: Hello again! This chapter up a little sooner than usual, lol. It feels weird. Anyway. Thank you for your reviews! You're all so amazing. I love you guys.

Lolloz-94, New Moon was absolutely AWESOME! I can't give away anything because I don't know if everyone has seen it yet. But it wasn't completely accurate to the book. Although they did hit the major points. They missed a lot of small details. Overall, it was good! I'm going to see it a third time on Tuesday, and I'm REALLY excited. Also, Edward's partner is the girl, MaRai. I needed a different power for his mate for reasons you will find out later on in the story. I didn't want to just change Bella's power, so I just changed the character entirely.

Anyway. Thank you again! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy. Please review!

Chapter Twenty-Two: Shelter

LPOV

Why did it seem so strange?

Jasper told me that he had feelings for me in a lot of different words.

He was there with me now.

He was more to me.

I'd only realized it over night when he wasn't there for the first time since the shooting. I was unable to sleep, even after I moved from my bed to the couch. I still missed him!

I couldn't make it through one night without him there to hold me.

So I stayed up all night, trying to decipher all that I felt and more.

He loved me. He never explained it really. He requested that we remain careful until we both could sort things out.

As for me, I didn't want to wait anymore, even if I'd agreed to it.

I needed him!

Couldn't he see that when I "worried too much" as he put it? He had to see that in me.

I entwined my fingers with his.

He was driving. We had been quiet with my friends in the back. I knew I would have a chance to talk to him later. Whenever his family got to him, he came to me. I had no objections. At least he had somewhere to go. Some didn't have that. The fact that he came to me only hurt me in times like that. I wanted to know the whole story, even if I never let on.

The future would explain it all.

I would learn...

Just not in my timing.

I leaned my head back against the seat with a swarm of thoughts all around me.

Jasper reached over and gently squeezed the nerve in my shoulder with the perfect amount of pressure. It hurt, but it felt good too. He could read my face with the few glances he sent towards me every once in a while.

I kept my fingers folded into Jasper's. His silence bothered me.

It was the week after Thanksgiving and the weather was as cold as Jasper's touch. It had become one of the best parts of him, one of the few things I could always be able to hold onto. The cold could be found anywhere.

He made the iciness beautiful.

I took a deep breath, wishing I could arrange my thoughts in a way that made sense to me.

But we arrived in New York too soon!

Jasper helped me out of my truck as if I was so helpless because of my cast. He lifted me out and set me on my feet gently so I could keep my balance. It was a beautifully, wonderfully, extraordinarily kind and loving touch.

I met his eyes, breathless now.

He smiled down at me. "You all right?" he asked.

I nodded once. "Fine," I whispered.

He nodded back and guided me toward the small cafe I'd chosen to do homework in. We had to do business first or homework really! Coffee, a comfortable corner with couches and arm chairs, wireless internet, etc. We all had our school books and our computers.

Jasper and I shared a big leather chair because no one else left room for him. I plugged in my earphones and gave him one so he could listen as we did our German paper.

I used my lap to hold my books on while he used the arm of the chair. We were squished into it with no discomfort, despite the limitations of space. We didn't care, even though Brit and Amber kept looking at us both suspiciously. They'd seen us on the couch all night and heard how deep our conversations got. Now they were surprised that we shared earphones and a chair!? Hell, they'd both seen me cradled in Jasper's arms, fast asleep, and on his lap.

I watched Jasper write the first bit by hand, lines done in minutes. He was fast! He had neat cursive, perfect even. It looked ancient and reminded me of the writing on the Declaration of Independence. It was beautiful! Like the rest of him.

He was talking about the similarities between German and Latin. I was impressed already. A nine page paper on the similarities and differences between German and another language was the assignment. He chose Latin while I ran to French, which was easier and not so rarely spoken.

I smiled discreetly when he took my computer from me to change the song. We turned on Jimmy Eat World, hidden away and unaware of the others. We were too observant of each other.

Jasper rubbed my back softly as I began to type my own paper. He read over my shoulder like I had with him.

"Mmm..." he mumbled in my ear quietly.

"Mmm what?" I inquired.

He grinned in amusement. "Mmm nothing," he answered, his eyes on my hand. "I'm just thinking."

"About what?" I pressed.

He shook his head thoughtfully. "What do you want to do when you come to my house?" My biggest worry of all right now! He had a bigger sized family. His parents, four siblings, all of them together, and I had to face them. I was glad though! Jasper had welcomed me into his world and this was another chance. I was getting closer to the true answer to why he was there.

He was immortal. So why could he cling to the mortal? As an immortal, he would have to live a lifetime and many more without me. So why was he doing this to himself? What could I do for him if I was dead?

I smiled at him though. "Whatever you want to do. I'm up for anything." Or almost anything. I wanted to enter his world as he'd entered mine. He knew how I lived my life and I was curious to know how he had lived before I came along to destroy the happy family I'd seen on the first day of school.

Yes, I blamed myself. It was my fault! I was the one to introduce myself to him. I invited him on the shopping trip and so on. My fault indeed.

I hated myself for it. What had I done?

I would meet them soon though. I would have gladly scolded them alll for their treatment of Jasper. It wouldn't help him though! It didn't even make sense to me. Emmett and Edward had been fine on our first shopping trip. They had gotten along, even with me. Now something had changed, the circumstances perhaps.

Jasper lightly traced his fingertips in circles on my back. He was watching me. We were both aware of the conversation about us, but we each had more on our minds.

I glanced over at him. "You all right?" he asked before I could ask him the same question.

I smiled and nodded. "Fine," I whispered, and I reluctantly turned back to my computer to finish the damn paper.

The conversation soon became more interesting and we ventured off the topic of homework as we worked. We got onto the subject of the weirdest movies we'd ever seen. I laughed at the look on Jasper's face when Shelton and I started talking about the nudity in Gamer and about Gerard Butler's sexy accent. Jasper was from the Civil War, but he had been around to see the changes, right? Surely he couldn't be that old fashioned. But by the embarrassment on his face, he was! I didn't plan to hold it against him, even if it was slightly amusing.

Then half of us agreed Dracula was the weirdest movie we'd seen. Jasper's hand paused momentarily in its circles on my back when we first brought it up. I glanced at him to see a thoughtful look that slowly disappeared as we explained it wasn't the blood or the vampirism. It was simply the plot-line in general. He still acted strange though. He was too careful and stiff...

"I hate politics!" Amber complained. "Who cares what my opinion is on gay marriage?"

"Your professor?" Jesse answered.

"Is a jackass that is completely paranoid about swine flu," Amber mumbled in disgust. "He has bottles of hand sanitizer all over. It's nasty."

"More nasty than him being unsanitary?"

Amber looked at me. "Okay, you guys are so distracting," she muttered, knowing I was the one who changed the subject from homework in the first place.

"We should all just drop out of college and do something more interesting," Brit said.

"No. College is important! It's like prom," I told them, leaning into Jasper to get more comfortable. But within minutes, I was repositioned again with my back against the arm of the chair with Jasper's books on my legs as they hung over the other arm. We were too close. It confused me sometimes! And he only laughed when I moved, apparently forgetting the discussion about Dracula.

"I ate too much on Thanksgiving," Jesse whined. "I'm still full from leftovers."

"What did you do for Thanksgiving?" Shelton asked me. He had invited me to Philadelphia for the time off and I had declined after Jasper promised to cook the turkey for my roomies and I. He'd served us all and the food was amazing. Best of all, he was there!

I answered casually. I didn't mention how Jasper was there though. Shelton liked me and there was no call to rub it in his face that I didn't have the same feelings for him.

Jasper paused though when he heard my answer. He lifted his pen off the paper and raised his eyebrow in disbelief.

I nudged him in annoyance. He only smiled at me. Then it hit me: he was jealous! He had wanted to announce that I spent the day at his side constantly where he waited on me every second of the day. I forced myself to look away. I didn't want to wait! What was there to wait for if one of us was immortal, the other was mortal? We only had so long!

I bit my lip as I typed. Waiting only destroyed valuable time. Surely he knew that as well as I did, better perhaps because he was the one that would be left alone.

I remembered how he once said he would not live a life without me. Did that mean he would go through with his last plan to kill himself after I was gone?

My heart's beat paused in fear.

No, he couldn't do that!

But what could I do about it?

I knew the answer to that as much as I hated it and as much as it hurt me--there was nothing I could do.

The future could always change though! And there was some hope in that.

Jasper noticed how my mood changed and he smiled at me. The sadness in his eyes told me that he knew what I was thinking about. He read me like a book. I couldn't move past the thought of watching him spend an entirety without me there. His words were so true from what I could see.

Death would never be the answer. Death could not be peaceful for me. Everything in my life would change. To love an immortal was as good as loving as a ghost. He could vanish so easily. I had strong ties to the world we lived in. I could not wish that away and I couldn't deny that Jasper was the only necessity I had found in life. Food, water, oxygen, ,they were all useless compared to all he could do.

He could change black roses to white. He was a miracle worker, a rainmaker, he was my best friend, the man I would never doubt if I somehow did live forever.

That was my secret. I couldn't tell him with words because the correct words did not exist for such things.

Love, loss, joy, sadness, beauty, hatred, that was what I would have to face.

He could leave; I could not stop him.

Clinging to such ghosts was naive, but I needed him. One could not question destiny or fate. Something had caused him to stop leaning away from me. I was there for him to lean on. He was there too!

Jasper showed his next smile, gentle and also comforting. I had nothing to question. Time would tell what fate intended for this relationship. THat was one thing about the future I could not uncover. It wasn't as simple as a guessing game. It wasn't life or death; it was both.

It was both.

My life, his life, and only my death.

Urgency was felt with that, but I had always been patient. Waiting would be worth the answers whenever they came.

"How's your leg?" Jasper asked, lifting his books up a bit as if to see if their weight was hurting me. The conversation didn't really interest either of us. I was more concentrated on my paper until he spoke in his loving bass voice. He was still worried about me when he could clearly see that I was quite all right.

One could have called it foolishness.

I considered it part of his over-caring nature and I smiled. "It's fine," I told him, which was the truth all the way. I could never lie to him. Lying was an ability my feelings for him had destroyed without a battle--I had no desire to lie to him anyway.

Jasper ran his hands along my cast lightly, but he stopped at the top. We were being watched again, which annoyed me. I could have sworn he was about to kiss me. Tenny and Taylor were more... passionate than that and nobody stared at them. What was so special about us?

Well, actually, I knew what was so special about Jasper, but not about myself.

Perhaps it was just the idea that tiny me was with a man over six feet tall. He was absolutely beautiful! But more than that, he was strong. He looked strong, strong enough to crush me. Still, he never did. Not once and he was so gentle. Touch wasn't just touch anymore; it was the sensation of his ice cold fingers tracing their way up my neck into my hair at night. It was the realization of how real the most perfect man alive was.

He was painfully real, but he was too perfect to be any real human being.

I knew he was not human. With that, it still made no sense. He had flaws, but they made him even more perfect.

Flaws made him flawless.

That was fascinating.

He was like a god to me. All the beauty of the ancience of Rome, all the wisdom and all the knowledge in any well-written historical book. He could feel. Few were willing to do that if they were even capable. He was capable beyond anything I'd ever seen. He did feel!

I closed my eyes in frustration. It was all wrong! Immortals and mortals were not meant to be, but it was. We were there together with nothing either of us wouldn't do for the other. So why the wait? Why the hesitance?

This was what we called life. A thousand or maybe a hundred thousand conflicts that could be turned into any book, and they were left unwritten because it was just life.

I looked to Jasper. He was my life. He had healed wounds I never knew I had. He was everything important and unimportant, and I would wait if he wanted me to wait. A lifetime with him as my best friend was no deprivation and there was no fear.

Jasper destroyed that with one smile and I knew I was home. I would always be at home with him. The shelter of this ghost's arms was the only shelter I needed, wanted, wished for, the only shelter I would never need.