-The Eastern Air Temple-
The bright orange flames of the campfire licked the night air as everyone gathered around in a semi circle. Not much was said after Xi'an's outburst.
"First off I'd to apologize for Xi'an's actions" said Kang "While there are no excuses for his behavior, and believe me, we are going to have a little 'talk' later. But I think an explanation is in order to get all of you to understand where he's coming from.
"He's normally not like that" said Te with Ye nodding in agreement
"And yet he's supposed to be my guardian?"scoffed Aang
"I don't know anything about that Aang, but I know that there nobody more loyal and trust worthy than him."
"We all agree" said Sokka with Suki and Toph nodding
"So what happened to him?" asked Katara "Why is he so angry?"
"A lot I'm afraid..."
-Healing and Secrets pt1-
Azula found herself in a black void surrounded by nothingness. It was a awful place where despair and loneliness reigned high. Despite igniting a small ball of blue fire from her palm, there was nothing she could see except darkness
"Where...Where am I" said Azula aloud trying hard to keep the fear out of her voice
"You're in my mind Mei Li or should I say Princess Azula" said a familiar voice
Spinning around, she saw what appeared to be a ghost like version of Xi'an, glowing softly. The look of kindness gone from his face but there was no malice or hate either, just a neutral indifferent expression.
"Xi'an?" she asked softly "Where am I?"
" You're in our mind. I'm a part of Xi'an, His rational thought and logic" said the ghost matter of factly "In short I'm the part of himself he listens to very rarely. To be honest, your timing couldn't be more perfect, I need your help.
"And why would I want to help a pathetic weakling like you" spat Azula "What makes you think I even care about some one who just shot me unneeded pity? I HATE YOU!"
"If you trying to get any sort of rise by insulting me, you are wasting your time" said the ghostly Xi'an flatly "Emotions aren't my thing, just facts and logic. However, you are mistaken if think we showed you any sort of pity. I, as most of us, have taken quite a liking to you.
"What?" asked Azula softly taken aback by the ghost's unwavering admission. "You do?"
"Yes, we do. However upon hearing your complicity of the port raid from the lips of Lo Pan himself combined with the passing of Sho, some of the more -Ahem- primal emotions surfaced. That being said can we be blamed for reacting the way we did?" said the ghost Xi'an
"I guess not" said Azula sadly "But I'm hardly capable of helping anyone, I not the perfect person I once was"
"Let me ask you this" said the Ghost Xi'an "If you were the person you once were, would you care about the twins enough to rescue them , feel any sort of guilt, make any sort of attempt to right the many wrongs you've done, apologize to Aang...
"Wait" interrupted Azula "How do you know all this? You weren't even there for most of it!
"Think about it, If you are in our head then..." started the Ghost Xi'an
"Then you...I mean Xi'an is in mine?" finished Azula shocked
"Yes...You need just as much help as I do, maybe more. A large part of us cares enough to help you, that why he's there" stated the Ghost Xi'an holding out his hand "Now the question, is do you care enough to help us?"
The second Azula took to think about it seemed like an eternity. Even though they were were flat without a hint of emotion, she saw no deception in his words, Just the plain facts. Placing her hand in his, she nodded her head. She was ready
"I warn you, Azula" said the Ghost Xi'an "In order to help, you may have to see painful terrible things. Things we long kept to ourselves. "
"I'm ready for it" said Azula
In a flash of bright light both disappeared from the dark void.
Xi'an found himself waking up in a dimly lit cave. Sitting up he dusted himself off in frustration. In the past few weeks he's been attacked multiple times ,shot with an arrow, kidnapped and taken in the spirit word, yelled at by an ungrateful avatar spirit, talked down to by the current avatar, threatened with death by a giant owl. It didn't help matters with the news that Sho passed on and then getting knocked out cold by Kang.
"Gah!" yelled Xi'an punching the wall feeling a bit better to get some of that anger out .Calming a bit down, he noticed that he felt no pain from hitting the wall "Great, Now where am I?"
Taking in his surroundings, he closed his eyes letting his finely honed hunter instincts kick in. Noticing sound of some someone or something sneaking around (and doing a poor job of it), he knew he was being watched.
"I know you're there! I can hear you!" said Xi'an with annoyance in his voice "You might as well come out and show yourself!"
"NO!" a small child like voice echoed out "You hate me! You'll hurt me, I know you will!"
A look of confusion came across his face, he didn't remember any other kids and the voice didn't sound like Te or Ye. Still not knowing where he was, he didn't want to run off his only way to find out. Besides she sounded really scared and lonely
"Hey" Xian said gently, calming down "I don't hate you and I wont hurt you okay?"
"You...You promise?" said the voice "Super duper promise? "
"I super duper promise" said Xi'an kindly "Now come on out okay?"
From behind nearby boulder, a small child of about 5 or 6 years old appeared. She was dressed in royal fire nation clothes, though they were dirty and slightly tattered. Looking at her golden eyes Xi'an noticed there was no malice in them, just a childish innocence. Her hair was tied up in a bun with two bangs drooping on either side of her face. Using her sleeve she wiped her nose and eyes in a very unroyal like fashion to get rid of her tears. She looked like a very young...
"Azula?" asked Xi'an surprised "Is that you?"
The girl nodded, sniffing loudly trying hard not to cry anymore
"Okay enough games" said Xi'an sternly "Where are we and what is going on"
"Promise not to get mad?" the young Azula asked her lip trembling
"That depends, are you going to tell me the truth?" sighed Xi'an
"You're in our mind" said young Azula
"Our mind?" asked Xi'an confused
"Uh huh" said the little girl "I'm that small part of Azula that you helped reawaken. The part that Azula would rather forget,because she thinks I'm the weak part. I'm her nice part "
"Riiiiiight"said Xi'an not quite believing her
"I need your help! Its scary in here!" said the girl fighting back tears "the mean one got stronger since you yelled at us, And I don't want her to come back!"
"Help? Lets say I believe you, after what you done, what makes you think I would even want to help you?" growled Xi'an
"It didn't happen like you think" said the little Azula "I swear it didn't"
"Then tell me how it did happen" said Xi'an
"I...I can't" said the little Azula
"Then I wont help you" said Xi'an
"I cant tell you..." said the little one "But if i can show you, will you help me?"
Xi'an thought about it, there was no lying in the little one as far as he could tell Despite everything , he decided to risk trusting her .
"Fine but if your lying..." started Xi'an
"Don't worry I'm not" said the little girl cheerfully hopping on Xi'an's back, causing both to disappear in a flash of bright light
Azula landed hard on the wooden deck of the long board walk of the small port town of Hong. She looked up in disgust as ghost Xi'an floated down gently next to her.
"Watch out for that first step" said ghost Xian
"Gee thanks'" said Azula standing up "Where are we,anyway?"
"The port town of Hong" said ghost Xi'an "Our home for the first nine years of our life"
It was small little peaceful community of fisherman, shipbuilders and shopkeepers. Not exactly the threat to the fire nation as everyone was told. There was a huge mass of people waiting on the nearby docks as a lone water tribe ship drifted into port. The homecoming was bitter sweet as the warriors exited the ship. The tears of joy mixed with cries of grief as for every one coming back there were two that weren't ever coming home. It was like that for most ships coming home from war. Exiting the ship was a very well built water tribe warrior.
"Dad!" yelled 9 year boy racing toward the man. The man smiled as he felt his son hug him.
"Look at you, you're getting so big!" the water tribe man said rustling his son's hair
"Yeah you should see how much he eats" said his wife, a very lovely earth bender wearing a betrothal necklace.
"Hey, he's a growing boy!" smiled the water tribe warrior pulling his wife in for a long kiss "You have no idea how much missed you both"
"So you going stay for good Dad?" asked the son
"Yeah kiddo, Chief Hakoda granted me a station here" said the warrior "Still have a job to do but you'll see me more often"
Azula looked on as they walked off to their house, noticing the boy had different color eyes, slightly jealous that the family was a loving one.
"That you isn't it?" asked Azula "And those are your parents?"
" Yes and tragically it would be that last time we saw them alive" said the ghost Xi'an "In just one night, we would lose all that we've ever held dear and be subjected to worst pain one could ever imagine"
"It's all my fault..." said Azula guilt ridden "I don't expect you to forgive me"
"I told you before, emotions aren't my thing, just facts and logic" the ghost Xi'an said "Logically, there's a lot of blame to go around. In fact we share most of blame ourselves"
"You? Why?" asked Azula
"Just watch" said the ghost Xi'an waving his hand toward the sky and setting the sun.
As night fell, Xi'an's family enjoyed a nice meal while Xi'an showed off his bending skills to his father
"This one's is called earth levitation" said young Xi'an making a few rocks float off the ground
"You getting pretty good at that" said his Dad
"You think that's good watch this! This is called a water whip "said Xi'an
"Earth benders cant bend water" said his father laughing
Xi'an and his mother both smiled mischievously as the little boy bent water using flowing motions. His father looked on in wonder as his son took a hard stance and snapped his arms causing the water whip to smack him right in the forehead.
"Hahahahaha, look like you need a bit more practice on that one!" said his father "It was pretty good though...
"And now it's time for a certain little boy to go to bed" said Xi'an's mom
"Awww" said Xi'an and his father together
"Get to bed, boy" the mother said kissing her son on the forehead
"Before I forget!" said Xi'an's father tossing him a warriors necklace
"This is really mine?" said the boy
"Yep" said Xi'an's father "You take care of it. It was was my fathers and his before it "
"I will" said Xi'an hugging his dad
"Now get to bed brat!" he smiled
As the little Xi'an went to his room the conversation turned a bit more serious, It was seemingly an old problem.
"I tried to talk to father again" said Xi'an's mother "He wouldn't even speak to me about it"
"Why?" asked Xi'an's father "I mean he's his only grandson, and a good kid"
"You know my father, stubborn to the end" said Xi'an's mother "The general had a fit when I married you. Pretty much disowned me "
"I know I just wish he wouldn't take it out on the boy " said Xi'an's father "My parents are gone, I just think would be nice that if he would at least got to know his grandfather
"Well I invited him over tomorrow" said Xi'an's mother wrapping her arms around her husband "Maybe he'll come around"
"If not it's his loss" said Xi'an's father kissing his wife "I mean our son is amazing! Did you see that? Bending both water and earth...I've never seen anyone do that! You dont think he's the avatar do you"
"No" said Xi'an's mom "But I think he's pretty special anyway"
"He gets it from you" laughed Xi'an's father
As the two proud parents blew out their candles and turned in for the night, an ominous fleet of fire nation ships appeared on the horizon. Azula didn't have to look that hard to know they were. Flying war flags bearing the symbol of the black phoenix fleet , she knew all too well that they were the ships of Lo Pan, her fathers most loyal general. She also knew that he did not take prisoners...
Xi'an found himself tripping over the the rocks in the royal garden of the Fire lord's palace as the child Azula giggled at his predicament. Shooting the child a hard look, the girl stifled a laugh as he tripped and fell again.
"Where are we?" asked Xi'an dusting himself off and looking around
"The last happy memory I ever had" said child Azula
Xi'an noticed a very beautiful woman by the turtle duck pond. By her sides were both of her children, Zuko, 8 and Azula 6 ½.. pulling off bread and feeding the ducks
"Why doesn't father come out here with us" asked Zuko
"You father is a busy man, being a prince isn't all fun and games I'm afraid" said Ursa
"Still it would be nice to see him every now and then" said Azula
"Yeah I only get to see him during fire bending lessons" said Zuko
"Speaking of which, how are they going?" asked Ursa
"Not good, dad yelled at me messing up the leaping dragon form" said Zuko
"Don't worry Zuko, your the best brother in the world, I know you'll get it right" said Azula "At least you can fire bend"
"Thanks sis" said Zuko giving his little sis a nuggie on the head "Don't worry, your fire will come just don't try to force it, okay?"
Xi'an looked as their mother held them close before taking them inside to eat.
"It looks like you were just one big happy family" said Xi'an
"Looks can be deceiving" said the child Azula sadly "As soon as I found my fire things changed ... and i changed along with it. See for yourself...
Inside the royal throne room, Prince Ozai looked on with great pride as Azula finished the leaping dragon form on her first try. Zuko was proud as well as he had spent all week teaching Azula the form.
"Azula! That was perfect.. you're a natural" said Zuko
"Your comments are as unwelcome as your presence Prince Zuko" spat Ozai in disgust "Perhaps if you spent more time practicing your forms rather than living vicariously through your sister's accomplishments you'd be a lot farther than you are"
"But.". Zuko stammered
"Leave at once!" ordered Ozai "There are things I must discuss with your sister, alone!"
Though obviously hurt, Zuko bowed curtly to his father, leaving quickly before his father could see him cry
"I'm proud of you Azula" said Ozai "With better training you could be one of the best fire benders in the history of the fire nation!"
"But Zuko..." started Azula
"Your brother is failure! I've wasted too much time on him, I see that now" said Ozai "Tomorrow you will be sent to the Fire nation academy for girls. I feel that your mother's influence will only soften you, make you weak. To be worthy of the royal line one must be tempered like hard steel. Do you understand Azula?"
The little girl nodded
"Good you, may go now!" said Ozai
Racing to Zuko's room she found her brother crying on his bed. Feeling bad she tried to comfort her big brother.
"Zuzu?" Azula said
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" yelled Zuko
"But ..." Azula stammered
"Why don't you go back and show off some more for father? It obvious your his favorite! I HATE YOU!" yelled Zuko though immediately regretting it "No..Azula... I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it...
Azula ran off crying not listening. From his room Ozai smiled in delight knowing the best way to gain a proper heir was to make them hate each other
Xi'an looked on in disgust. How could a father just turn two children against each other like that?
The view changed to Azula at the academy, Azula training under Lo and Li. The training looked brutal for anyone a but for one as young as Azula it was downright sadistic
"And so I left for the royal academy" said the child Azula "And piece by piece the little girl that I once was was meticulously stripped away. With Zuko's hurtful words still ringing in my ears, I vowed to myself I would be the best fire bender, the best general the world had ever known. To be better than Zuko and to rub in his face that I could get the one thing he could never have.. fathers love.
"Sounds like your justifying it " said Xi'an
"You don't understand, Xi'an" said the child Azula "Cruelty and ruthlessness were not just rewarded, they were taught as absolute virtues. Emotions such as sadness, mercy, empathy were seen as displays of weakness and were dealt with harshly. While other kids, were out playing games and having fun I was being taught how to lay siege to a fortified city with minimal losses.
Xi'an nodded as the view changed once again, this time to Azulon's war room. Seated at the table was various generals and high ranking officer's including Captain Lo Pan. To the Fire lord's left was his son Prince Ozai. His favored son, Prince Iroh was out in the field taking more territory for the glory of the fire nation. However the supplies to his troops were running low.
"In order to supply Iroh's troops we must find a way to around the earth kingdom blockade" said one general pointing at the far east peninsula of the earth kingdom " However I believe I've found one way here"
"Unacceptable" said Azulon "At that rate it would be weeks before he got new supplies"
"I see no other way to solve the problem" said the general
"Perhaps this would be a good test for my daughter" said Ozai
"This is not a playroom" snapped a general
"Let us humor my son" said Azulon "but do not embarrass me Prince Ozai!"
Xi'an looked on as the young fire princess entered the war room. Gone was the look of innocence replaced by a look of relentless cunning and cruelty that should never be seen in one so young.
"Princess Azula" asked Azulon "Let us say you had of fleet of supplies, needed to get to our soldiers the western front. However there is a blockade in front of the quickest route in. Where would be the quickest place to land?"
Azulon smiled knowing that this child would not have the slightest idea on what to do. However even at 7, Azula was not most children. Azula traced a path from the fire nation to the earth kingdom.
"The blockade would be easy to avoid if you if you take a smaller group of ships down the rivers... here said Azula pointing at the map" That way, not only will they avoid the blockade but also have the the element of surprise."
Ozai looked on gleefully while the other officers jaws dropped in shock and jealousy. However, Ozai's smile disappeared as Azula stumbled over what to do next. Her hand hovered over a large section of the map as if trying to remember something.
"Then we um...um" Azula stammered while her father glared fiercely at her
Lo Pan seizing the opportunity stepped in quickly
"I see young princess Azula" said Lo Pan oozing of false admiration " Its brilliant, take the river here and attack the small port town of Hong here. Better yet it would have more supplies to funnel the troops. Your daughter is a genius! My fleet could leave tonight and be there in 3 days"
"Good Captain Lo Pan" said Azulon "Make it happen"
Xi'an looked on in confusion...Azula's hand was not anywhere near the port of Hong. Realization hit him almost immediately, it seemed that Azula was just going through the motions, like someone being feed answers for a math quiz
"It was a test?" asked Xi'an " I lost my parents because a stupid test?"
"Yeah, said Azula sadly "Father and Lo Pan had came up with the plan earlier, but saw fit to have me tell it to Grandfather as he wanted to gain favor through me"
Xi'an watched helplessly as Ozai berated his daughter after the war meeting.
"You disappointed me Azula" said Ozai darkly "If not for Lo pan's quick thinking you would have made fool out of all of us"
"I'm sorry father" said Azula "I tried my best..."
"DO NOT ALOPOGISE, PRINCESS AZULA!" yelled Ozai "ONLY THE WEAK APOLGISE AND MAKE EXCUSES! DO YOU WISH TO BE WEAK LIKE YOU BROTHER?"
Grabbing his daughters wrist, he conjured a bright flame, burning his daughter.. not enough to leave a scar but enough to cause a lot of pain and drive his twisted point home.
"DO NOT EMBARRASS ME AGAIN!" yelled Ozai
"I won't father" she whimpered
The child like Azula grabbed Xi'an's hand squeezing hard. Looking down at the scared child he returned a squeeze of his own...
"It's okay Azula...He cant hurt you anymore" said Xi'an softly
In an instant Lo Pans had taken the small port town, ransacking the homes for anything even remotely valuable for the troops on the front . People dragged out of their homes, their children separated from them.
"Listen very carefully" said Lo pan to the group of adults "We are taking your stores of food, valuables and weapons. Consider it a donation to the fire nation war effort. If a single one of you step out of line you children will be the first to pay the price"
"You coward!" spat Xi'an's father "I didn't think the great Lo Pan reduced to petty thievery"
"Please don't" begged Xi'an's mother to her husband "Just let them have what they want, and they'll leave"
Azula knew better. They weren't at war with that area of the earth kingdom at the time. In fact it was considered neutral. So Lo Pan couldn't openly attack them, however if one were to attack him first...
Lo pan smiled nastily as drew back his hand and slapped Xi'an's mother across the face. The glint in his eye just daring Xi'an's father to do something.
"Whats the matter?" taunted Lo Pan "No honor to defend your wife?"
"HEY!" a small voice yelled
Spinning around, Lo pan caught a small boulder in the face, blooding his nose. Seething with anger he looked to see who would dare draw blood on him. His eyes narrowed on a small little boy, with a look of anger and hatred on his face. Wiping the blood away, a look of amusement appeared on the captains face.
"So you wish to challenge me boy?" asked Lo Pan
"NO!" Xi'an's mother cried "He's just a child!"
"Then he shouldn't have gotten involved" sneered Lo pan
As he shot a fire blast at the boy, a large wall of earth flew up protecting him. While Xi'an's father rallied the rest of the adults to fight ,The sky lit up as the villagers battled the better trained Fire bending solders. The warriors of the village fought valiantly but most were no match for battle hardened fire benders. Slowly one by one , the villagers found only death at the at the hands of Lo Pan's soldiers. Women, children, elderly all fair game to to them.
Xi'an's mother fought hard to protect him. She put Lo pan on the defensive, blasting massive boulders at him forcing him away from her son.
"Xi'an, sweetie." she said "I need you to go and hide until this is over"
"But mom!" little Xi'an argued " I want to help!"
Without a word Xi'an mother shot him a look, that dont argue or else look that every mom seemed to have mastered to a fine perfection.
Using her bending she sent a small wave of earth carrying Xi'an safely a few feet away from the fighting. However the small distraction was more than enough for Lo pan to gain the upper hand. Dodging the boulders he, closed the distance between himself and the earth bender. To his surprise the woman was quite a handful, using her bending forms as an effective offense. Breaking through her guard, Lo pan responded with a cheap punch to the face followed by rapid punches to her ribs.
"We have to help her!" said Azula
"We cant" said the ghost Xi'an flatly "There's nothing we can do, we cant change the past. All we can do is watch"
Azula watched helplessly as Lo Pan lifted Xi'an's mother off her feet with one arm There were no words exchanged just as he slowly extended two fingers over her heart. Without any hesitation, he released a fire blast. She was gone before her body hit the ground.
"NO!" screamed Xi'an's Father "I swear you'll pay with your life for what you've done"
Mad with grief over his wife, Xi'an's father slashed furiously through Lo Pan's soldiers with sharpened war club's making his way to the captain. Thinking quickly Lo pan stepped back shoving two rookie soldiers toward the screaming water tribe warrior. Xi'an's father quickly dispatched the two. The distraction worked as Lo Pan was able to disarm Xi'an's father. He used the warriors own club to hit his ribs bringing him to his knees. Using the sharp end he swiped across the warriors back leaving a large gash.
"Dad!" yelled young Xi'an bending a some nearby water into a sharp ice spike
Racing toward the fight, Xi'an snapped his eyes shut as he thrust his ice weapon into Lo pan as hard as he possibly could. Opening his eyes, he looked in horror as he saw his agony on his fathers face. Lo Pan had quickly shielded himself with Xi'an's father.
"Dad, I'm so sorry ...!" said Xi'an laying his father on the ground trying hard to heal his wounds
Azula fought back tears, as she saw Lo Pan kicking Xi'an away from his father sending him flying. He landed hard on the ground, his warriors necklace broke off, chipping four sharp shards from the big crystal. Xi'an cried openly as he heard a sicking crunch as Lo Pan crushed his father's throat with his foot .
"It was all my fault" said Ghost Xi'an "Because of my use of bending, my mother and father died along with the rest of the village. If I hadn't have thrown that rock, maybe everyone would still be alive
"You dont know that for sure" said Azula "Lo Pan never took prisoners. At least you survived"
"Sometimes we wish we didn't" said Ghost Xi'an
"What do you mean?"
"See for yourself"
Young Xi'an tried to get to his feet, but suddenly felt him self kicked over on his stomach. He tried to fight but his arms and legs were pinned down. He felt his shirt being ripped off leaving back exposed by two of Lo Pans soldiers. Lo pan smiled evilly as he picked up Xi'an's crystal necklace
"Ah a little trinket of you"Warrior's" said Lo Pan looking at it curiously "Isn't a symbol of luck for you water tribe peasants isn't it? I have to say it didn't seem help you much, did it?"
"Give it back!" growled Xi'an fighting in vain to get free
"Of course" said Lo Pan handing it to to one of his soldiers, who roughly shoved it in to one of Xi'an's hands "Though maybe your luck would change, if some of your necklace became a part of you"
Xi'an's Look of confusion and fear was replaced with one of excruciating pain as Lo Pan stuck the 4 shards into Xi'an's back. As he stomped down hard with his boot, Xi'an screamed out in pain as the sharp shards dug deep into his back, bleeding profusely. Though in serious pain, Xi'an willed himself not to pass out, he wouldn't give Lo pan the satisfaction.
"Don't think that I've forgotten that it was you that challenged me" said Lo Pan charging up his fire "Where I'm from we settle such things with an Agni Kai. We fight until the other is taken off his feet, then we finish with ... "
"Oh no... Please no.." thought Azula watching in horror and fully knowing what came next
A loud scream of indescribable agony and anguish echoed through the night air before dying out to silence
Tears streamed down her face as she looked away.