Disclaimer: Mmmm, Eric Northman…

A/N: Thank you, november soul for your song suggestions! I thought Paralyzer would be appropriate considering the title of this chapter.

A/N: Thanks to WWEchica for you humorous and long reviews! Much appreciated!

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, guys! Hope the chapter is worth it.

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Another Way to Die

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Chapter 5: Bourreau des Coeurs

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Well I'm not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you're standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You'll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

- Paralyzer, by Finger Eleven

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The next night, I was alone in bed when I finally stirred with a headache. Blearily rubbing my eyes, I glanced around for Eric, but he was nowhere in sight. I took the opportunity to take a nice, long, hot shower. I was happy to just let the water pound on my back. It felt good to have the steaming liquid run along my scalp, soothing the dull ache that had woken me up. I absently thought of Sabrina as I scrubbed my knees and elbows before lathering my hair with Eric's shampoo. She must've thought that I would be an easy meal for her. I was a bit surprised when she hadn't automatically backed down; I thought Eric held a degree of authority that was feared and respected. But I guessed that Sabrina still carried a wild, stubborn streak from her life in the eighties.

As I thought of the previous night's events, I realized how much Eric was doing for me. He fed me, clothed me, entertained me (to a degree) and protected me from others. But what was I supposed to do? Did he expect me to repay him somehow? Or was he just stabilizing the future of his investment. I turned the water off and reached for a towel. I still didn't understand what he meant by investment. What exactly did I have that he was investing in? What was I, real estate?

Eric was waiting for me when came out of the bathroom. I swallowed the lump of nerves in my throat and glided past him to pick out some clothes to wear. I went back into the bathroom to change into the white shorts and underwear. After hanging up the towel, I opened the door. He stood in the exact same place, as perfect and unmoving as marble. I felt a little weak.

He handed me an olive printed chiffon top with a smock waist. It was accented with deep purple and a little tied keyhole on the neckline. Far prettier than the gray tank top he had indirectly stained the night before. The material felt nice in my hands and I raised an eyebrow at the neon pink Forever 21 bag it came from,

"Are you serious?" He matched my expression,

"Don't you like it?" Eric's lips quirked into an odd half smile. My heart seemed to stop,

"I do," I answered quickly, ducking my head so he couldn't see my face, "I just never expected you to walk into such a girly store," I faced away, slipping the plain t-shirt off. I could feel his eyes on my skin and something prickled down my spine, curling in the pit of my stomach,

"What can I say?" Hurriedly, I fumbled to tug the chiffon on, "There was someone in there I needed to speak with," Adjusting my hair, I turned back,

"Killed two birds with one stone?" Something twinkled in his eye. He seemed to be in a surprisingly good mood,

"Of course," Being Sunday night, the club wasn't open. Or so Eric had informed me earlier. I had lost track of what day it was,

"I should probably call my mémère," He made a noncommittal noise in his throat as he lounged on the bed, bored as he skimmed through my sketchbook. I would take that as a 'no'. I quirked my mouth to the side, contemplative about my previous thoughts. I decided to broach the subject, "You know," I began slowly, "I was taught that nothing's free in life,"

"Is that so?" His reply was distant, as if other things were taking hold of his attention. I knew it had nothing to do with my drawings. Pursing my lips, I decided to get to the point of what had been bugging me since Eric assured me that he would get me a new shirt,

"Can I at least do the laundry?" I fidgeted, "I feel bad not doing anything when you buy me food and clothes and stuff," He looked over his shoulder to where I stood, smoothly sitting up,

"So you'd like to repay my services?" He leaned forward and stared at me intently. Hesitantly, I took a step closer,

"Um, yes?" My brow puckered in confusion. Eric relaxed with a satisfied sort of smirk on his lips. It was almost like he had been waiting for this and a very bad feeling settled in my stomach. Maybe I shouldn't have worried about getting a place to sleep, food to eat and clothes to wear for free. Maybe I should've kept my big, fat, mouth shut. I shifted my weight, twisting my fingers around, "So, if you don't mind me asking, what's going to happen to Sabrina?"

"She's not important," Eric said dismissively. He stood, "Come with me," He ordered. Not waiting for me to answer, he swept me out of the bedroom, down the hall and into an office of sorts. Pam and the Asian vampire were waiting inside. There was a sofa to one side and papers scattered everywhere. Pam was quick to sweep them out of my sight,

"Well, don't you look pretty tonight," She purred,

"This is Chow," Eric indicated towards the other man, ignoring the blonde. I nodded,

"Hello," His beady, dark eyes grazed over me professionally as he waited for his boss to continue. I felt his hand at my waist and I turned to look up at him. Eric was so tall and I began to wonder if I was going to strain my neck anytime soon with all the craning I did,

"We're about to take you into the bar," He said clearly. My face furrowed,

"Uh, okay…" What the hell was going on? A sudden sense of dread coiled in my chest, constricting my heart painfully. Was I going to be their meal? Was that how I was going to repay Eric for his kindness? Would they stretch me out across the bar and bleed me? Would Janvier make blood cocktails and martinis? Pam's eyes glittered like gems, twinkling with some unknown intent. I swallowed. I guessed that sleeping with vampires was just another way to die.

Eric's hand guided me out into of the office. I paused, glancing to my right. A black door marked "Employees Only" stood closed and something cold seemed to slither through my veins. He pulled at my elbow, trying to usher me on. I stayed rooted to the spot. I remembered dreaming of screams,

"What's in there?" My voice sounded strained. He gave me a sidelong glance,

"Nothing," He replied smoothly, "Come on," Unable to tear myself away, he tugged me along. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Pam and Chow exchange diminutive looks. I tried to ignore the rush of uncertainty. I didn't expect Eric to tell me the entire on goings in his business, but the secrecy was unnerving. Eric pushed open the huge, heavy door and I stepped into the now well-lit club. The mystery seemed to disappear. It looked like a regular bar,

"Take a seat," He gestured to one of the low tables. I slid into the chair and the seat was cool against my bare thighs. Eric leaned forward, bracing himself on the back of the chair and the tabletop. Chow disappeared and Pam stood at my other side. I opened my mouth,

"Uh-"

"Just tell me what you see,"

"A bar?" I felt stupid. Really, really stupid. He chuckled,

"Wait for it," and the door where Chow ran off to unlocked. He dragged someone in by their wrist like he was holding something rather foul. His lip was curled, his nose wrinkled. He tossed them into the chair across from me. It was a man, well dressed but rather disheveled. His gray brown hair, probably once gelled, was a mess, chunks still stuck together. Head lolling to the side, he groaned. His lake blue suit had a rip at the left shoulder seam and his cuff links were scratched. Chow adjusted the man's arms to stretch out in front of him,

"Tell me what you see," Eric repeated. I suddenly understood what he wanted me to do. My head whipped around to look up at him,

"I can't control it," I hissed, "I don't know how to begin or end it; it just happens,"

"Just try," I glared but he smiled back, something sweet and encouraging. I was glad to have been sitting in a chair or my knees would've buckled beneath me. I knew it was just a manipulative ploy to get me to do what he wanted me to do. Part of me didn't care. Hesitantly, I placed my hands on top of the man's. Nothing happened. I peeked up at Eric and gave my head a little shake. A light frown skimmed his features before he leaned down, his mouth by my ear,

"Has he been with any vampires lately?"

"How am I supposed to-" The chill trembled through me and I was standing in a room, a bedroom, lavishly decorated with a modern touch. It was dim, the air slightly smoky with scent of something burning mixed with perfume. Something was huddled on the bed, steaming and I walked forward to see hateful, burning eyes staring back at me, eyes belonging to a boy not more than fourteen covered in,

"Burns," I heard myself say, but it was me speaking as Rochelle and I heard Eric from somewhere in the fog,

"On who?" I peered closer. The boy's mouth twisted into an ugly snarl and pearly white fangs gleamed in the low light. He shifted, tinkling and I realized that it was the chains; thick, silver chains,

"A vampire…" Something cried out inside of me, something heartbroken and pained, "Just a boy, Eric, he's just a boy!" My hand rose to touch his face, caressing it like a lover. He recoiled from the touch, still bearing his teeth like a wild cat. I shook my head, "We have to help him; we have to!" As I edged hysteria, something jerked me back. I blinked and I was sitting back in the chair, Eric's hand on my shoulder as Chow and Pam carried the man back out the door we had come through. I glanced uncertainly up at the blonde vampire. A mask of cool neutrality had settled on his face,

"Good job," He began to walk over to the door. I jumped up to chase after him,

"What just happened?" I demanded, slipping between him and the walls of the hallway. The fluorescent lights glared down on us, reflecting off his combed, blonde hair,

"My investment is beginning to pay off," I jogged to keep up with his long strides. We were back in the bedroom,

"What is that supposed to mean?" His lips quirked into a smirk and he didn't reply. Instead, he busied himself with his closet of magic vampire sex appeal. I stood by my chest of drawers, feeling the smooth black wood beneath my fingertips. Something tugged on my mind. Eric was hot stuff. He could snap his fingers and women everywhere would fight at the chance to even touch him but here I was, sleeping in the same bed as him. I pursed my lips. He called it "protecting my investment," but why did that involve sleeping in the same bed?

"Why do you sleep with me?" I called, my face burning like the surface of the sun. I wondered if the rush of blood was tantalizing for him. His clothes whispered against my back as he blurred behind me. Eric's smell was intoxicating, curling in my lungs like a poisonous lover. I splayed my fingers on the wood to steady myself. I wasn't prepared to feel his fingers skim my side. It felt like someone poured a bucket of ice over my head and his cool touch felt like white-hot whips of fire. I was rooted to the spot, the tingle down my spine holding me there like a puppet on taut strings,

"As I've said to you before: virgin blood is most tempting to us," His fingers trailed down my arm and I felt him lean in. The tip of his nose brushed against my neck. I tried to keep my breathing soft and even, but I knew he could smell my pulse jumping. After a moment, I spoke as calmly as possible,

"Do you want to drink me?" But when I turned, he wasn't there.

I cursed myself, feeling incredibly stupid for swooning like that. My face burned under my skin. What was I supposed to think after something like that? The intimacy we shared was uncomfortable, if only because I had never experienced something like that in my entire life. Sure, mémère and Salome and Durand and I were all close; we showered each other with affectionate hugs and kisses like rain. But with Eric…

With Eric, it was different. With Eric, there was an icy distance but a hot, consuming wildfire that devoured me. I didn't understand these feelings, this strange sensation that twisted my insides until they were torn to shreds. I didn't understand him. Hating the discomfort that slowly creeped into my chest, I took off my clothes and chose a new dress shirt from Eric's expansive closet. It was an iridescent gray, with shiny black buttons. I rolled up the sleeves and pulled back the covers. I stayed on my back for a few minutes after turning off the lights. My legs tingled; I was restless. I shifted to my stomach, curled up on my side, stretched out, twisting and turning impatiently. I stared into the dark until I saw spots and finally closed my eyes.

I knew it was cold, even though my breath didn't fog and I couldn't feel the chill of the wind. I was in a boat, crafted far differently from the one in my last dream. A dragon's head curled up from the bow, leading me North. The handle of the paddle was smooth in my dark hands and I carefully made my way through the black water, avoiding small icebergs. I could see hazy, blue mountains in the distance, the setting sun almost completely submerged in the sea,

"What are you doing here?" I looked to my left. Eric stood tall and proud, arms folded across his chest. He was brilliant and beautiful in the light. An unearthly glow tainted his skin, but I knew it was the trick of the sun and the ice. He looked more like a god than a vampire,

"What are you doing here?" He asked again. I placed the paddle beside me, staring up at him. My lips parted to answer him, but I couldn't make a single sound. Then, he was on me in his lightening speed, hands crushing me and I could finally feel the cold, his cold. I heard myself screech when he sank his teeth into my neck. Shrieking, crying, gasping, clawing,

"No, no, no!" My thrashing was useless. I was just a deer being devoured by a mountain lion, helpless against him. Why? Why? Eric, why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhy-

I awoke screaming. Eric bolted up, quickly throwing the covers off us to see if anything was attacking me. He grabbed my shoulders, shaking me,

"What is wrong with you?" He demanded in a fierce growl. I twisted away,

"Get off of me!" I crashed my head into his. Unharmed, he simply stared down at me in surprise, "Get off!" I tumbled off the bed, scooting into a corner, my hands flying up to my neck to stop the bleeding. Of course, there was no blood but in my hysterics, I couldn't bring myself to care. All I could think of was Eric holding me down, drinking me, sucking my life out of my body until I was nothing but a husk, a mannequin.

A dry sob escaped my throat. There was still so much that I didn't know, so much of him that I was vastly ignorant of and it scared the fucking shit out of me.

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