Disclaimer: Bleach, its characters and its settings aren't mine

Word had gotten around, both in the fourth year class and in the first. A lot of people were there to see me get my ass handed to me.

I wasn't overly worried, piggy and all of his friends together were a lot less intimidating then some of the hollows I'd faced. I was a little worried at how many people had shown up though, I'd wanted to keep this more private. Ten minutes from now these guys would want the same thing.

I've never felt such an urge to say oh yeah, by the way... Ban-kai.

Or maybe just crank up the pressure until people start passing out, that one's always fun.

There were only four of them, and they hadn't brought their Zanpakutos. Which was good, that'd make things easier, if I broke their Zanpakutos and beat them up someone would get suspicious.

A couple of their friends grabbed Seymour. I was impressed the kid had actually showed up. He had stones, I'll give him that.

Pig leader smiled at me.

"What? I like music when I fight."

"So do I. Sound of breaking bones, that sort of thing." Roaring hollows, shrieking Arrancar, friends calling out my name as I charge onto the field of battle – the tide turning in my wake-

One of the friends had punched the Seymour kid in the stomach, got him singing again.

For a moment-

-I hope it was the hollow in me - for a moment I saw a world where Seymour worked for me, provided the soundtrack for all of my fights. I could see it now, Zaraki has his sword up, I wave a hand and Zaraki gets a blast of I Like Big BUTTS and I Can NOT lie! The old man, blown off his feet when Seymour declared it HammerTime, then Shunsui and Ukitake unable to fight because they're too busy busting a move. And then we'd see if Seymour could teach Byakuya those big butt words...

Those words would make Byakuya the most powerful fighter in the Seireitei, once he started singing that no one would be able to hold a sword they'd be laughing so hard (there's a bit with a chorus, the other captains could do that part).

Those words wouldn't work on Unohana-taicho or Yoruichi-san but I can't even imagine Soi Fon's reaction.

I took another look around the crowd. There must have been fifty people there.

To think all these vultures came to see an execution. Really nice, kids, I'm impressed.

"Hey Seymour!" I shouted, "When I win, if you want them to sing it for you, just let me know." I did a bit of bobbing and weaving like Grimjaw did that first time I met him. Then the wrecking crew closed in.

Well how do you think it went? I can break hollow masks with my bare hands and once upon a time I bit a Zanpakuto in half to win a bet (Renji's salary for a month). The hardest part was keeping myself reigned in so I didn't shunpo or send somebody through a wall.

It was over in seven punches, one of which I had to let land on me. Probably not the wisest way to spend an afternoon but there's a limit to what I'm willing to watch just to keep my cover.

That's going to be a problem, there's way too much Kurosaki Ichigo in Sado Kon. I've been finding myself waffling between the two of them – I know which one I want to be.

I just don't know how much longer I'll be able to be the other.

Dammit I'm having one of those days where my certainty is off - I can do this. Tomorrow I'll be better.

"Okay punks. Leave the kid alone or next time I lose my temper. Got that?" I took a menacing step forward.

"You haven't heard the last of this!" shouted pig leader.

"Good! I can beat you up again the next time you're a dick!"

The crowd meanwhile had gone silent as I watched pig and company go. I was expecting some kind of response from Seymour, but instead he just looked sick.

There were a lot of people around, why was it so quiet?

Ever have one of those crystal clear moments of lucidity where that special autopilot in your brain takes over, twists what you're thinking just that tiny bit? You know, when you realize your mind is picking up speed for that incredible quantum leap, that eureka moment where all the pieces fall into place and that impossible perspective change materializes?

I'd asked the wrong question. What could make them so quiet?

I turned around and looked into the eyes of a captain of the Gotei 13.

A captain.

All the captains know me on sight, not a single one of them could miss me, certainly not from this distance.

A single word floated through my mind.

Busted.