Character Study

Doctor/Wilf

***

"Who are you?"

"I'm Wilfred Mott."

I had said it then. There had been something linking us together for years. I understood now. This had to happen, there was no other way. I had lost everything again, I had lost my mother, I had lost the Master and I had lost Gallifrey.

What for?

The human race.

The ones destined to survive to the end of the universe, never giving in. I wanted to be more like them because whether I liked it or not I had never been Gallifreyan, my own heritage had decided that.

The half-human freak, the Doctor, the oncoming storm.

The only one who had been able to do it, the only one Romana had trusted enough.

The only one who could possibly give themselves up for Wilfred Mott.

He deserved to live far more than I did. He had to see his grand-daughter marry, to grow old with his family.

The one adventure I can never have again. I lost my family when I left, so long ago, apart from Susan but I haven't talked to her for centuries. For some reason that feels like an even bigger loss, drifting away without the finality of death.

"Lived too long."

I was young compared to many Time Lords, I hadn't even reached a thousand yet. But a thousand had never felt further away, it felt too far away. Nine hundred year already felt like too much. I envied Wilfred as he stood there against the glass, begging for me not to do it, not to give up my life for him. He was old, he wasn't going to live for much longer, yet he was over eight hundred years my junior.

It hurt to think that I was going to loose him to.

"Wilfred, it's my honour."

Don't waste this chance. Live your life.

"Better be quick,"

You're life gone in the blink of an eye, speeding past never stopping. That's my life and I'm not sure I can live with it any longer.

"Three, two one."

I can't bear starting on four, the thing that started all this.

Pain.

Suddenly I'm not old at all. You sense it too, looking at me and seeing a lost boy. My eyes lock with yours and the pain is shared. You see a lost boy crying out wordlessly for relief that's not going to come.

I'm crying.

It's doesn't feel wrong anymore.

Then the pain stops and the tingling begins. I hold it back, feeling it healing the tiny cuts that litter my body.

This is it, it's the end.

One, two, three, four.