"Good morning, Yuki-san! How was your weekend?" asked Haruhi cheerfully while setting down her bookbag.
"Terrible," muttered Yuki under his breath.
"Eh? Did you say something?"
"Um...It was fine. How was yours?"
"It was all right. Did you think of any good ideas yet?"
Ideas? "What ideas?"
Haruhi blinked in surprise. "Tamaki-sempai didn't tell you? We were supposed to brainstorm ideas for our next cosplay."
Cosplay? "What cosplay?"
"We're supposed to dress up---"
Dress up?! "What dress up?!"
Haruhi opened her mouth to answer, but was suddenly interrupted.
"Good morrrrrnnniiing!!" sang two energetic twins who strolled into class 1-A.
"Ne, ne, Yuki, Haruhi! Guess what!"
"What?" asked Yuki and Haruhi.
Hikaru and Kaoru grinned at them and burst out, "Yesterday, we met Celina Delauney!"
Kaoru added, "She's the hottest new fashion designer who took the world by storm with her newest fashion line, Aimée, or Loved!"
As they predicted, Haruhi and Yuki weren't terribly excited by this piece of news; however, they were happy for their friends' sakes.
"Really? That's amazing," said Haruhi.
While the twins were enthusiastically describing Celina's color patterns and "focus point" to a confused Haruhi, Yuki buried his head in his arms and wondered how he was supposed to invite Tamaki without seeming too suspicious. If Tamaki came, the rest of the Host Club would probably tag along also, and because of Haruhi, there was the curse to worry about. In mathematical terms, 1 (clumsy) Tohru + 1 (slightly clumsy) Haruhi x 3 Jyuunishi members equals a catastrophe of infinite proportions. Also, there was the unknown variable of more Sohmas coming to visit. For some strange reason, they're magnetically drawn to trouble like honey draws flies. And if Tamaki, Kyoya, Hani, Mori, and the twins were there as witnesses, Hatori would have a field day erasing memories. Urg.
Yuki sighed and suddenly heard a voice.
"Sohma-kun? Sohma-kun?" Looking up, he realized the teacher was calling him. Upon further inspection, he realized the bell had already rung and the students were all seated, notebooks out and armed with pens. Even the twins were quietly taking notes and snickering at Yuki's misfortune.
"Class started ten minutes ago. Where's your homework?"
Blushing furiously, Yuki pulled out his homework and handed it to the teacher, then quickly scribbled down the notes on the board. When the class's attention was focused on the teacher again, Yuki sighed and wondered, What do I do?
"Yu-chan! HELLO!" shouted Hani, doing a running jump and landing on Yuki's back, making his knees buckle slightly. Yuki smiled slightly and greeted his sempai half-heartedly. Hani bounced off Yuki and stared at him intently, head cocked to one side.
"Ne, Yu-chan, are you all right? You look tired," commented Hani.
"Eh? No, not really." Actually, Yuki was frustrated because of the Tamaki problem. He had been analyzing it all day, causing him to be irritated and exhausted. The best idea his foggy brain came up involved armor, Rin transformed as a horse, and large cages.
...Nah.
"Yuuuuuki!" Suddenly, Yuki discovered he was being squeezed ruthlessly by the hyperactive twins.
"What did you come up with for our next cosplay?" asked Hikaru.
Kaoru added, "We couldn't come up with anything!"
"Very strange..." they both said at the same time, sighing heavily. That simple motion made Yuki's long-ish silver hair flutter around his face, causing him to blink in surprise. The twins watched spellbound as he casually swiped the stray strands back and stared back at them.
"...What?" asked a confused Yuki.
"...Ne, Hikaru, did you see that?"
"Un. That was..."
"AMAZINGLY COOL!" screamed the twins, launching themselves at him again. After detaching themselves again from an exasperated Yuki, Hikaru pulled out a sketchbook and began to draw while Kaoru whispered and pointed. Occasionally, they stared at Yuki, then started another storm of whispers. This process repeated itself for a couple of minutes. During that time, everybody in the Host Club arrived, including a flustered Haruhi who had ran all the way across campus. Finally, Hikaru put down his pencil and glanced at Kaoru. He nodded his head solemnly. They strode over to a confused Tamaki and handed him the sketchbook. Tamaki looked at it, and arched his eyebrows. The Host Club grouped around him as he held up the sketchbook. On the page, Hikaru had drawn an angelic Yuki, with fathomless eyes and silvery hair. However, there was a hint of darkness in his eyes, as if his soul wasn't as pure as everyone thought. And they had done all this with a pencil!
Tamaki nodded approvingly, and said, "Very beautifully done. But why?"
The twins shared their secret grin and glanced over at Yuki with their golden eyes.
"He inspires us."
"Hidden past, dark secrets, forbidden feelings. It's all in those eyes."
Yuki blinked nervously and took a small step back. He didn't like the way the Hosts were staring at him. A serious air hung around them, smothering like wet black velvet. It was ripped into shreds when Haruhi started laughing wildly, grasping her side and pointing. Needless to say, all seven of the hosts stared at the cross-dresser, utterly confused. After she caught her breath and wiped away the tears that were flowing down her face, she hastened to explain.
"Sorry, but the thought of you rich bastards having any trouble?! It just makes my sides split."
The twins ditched their seriousness and swarmed Haruhi, demanding haughtily what she meant by that.
"We so do too have problems! Like the time when our shipment of caviar came in late! Instead, we had to eat lobster for the fourth time in that month!"
"Right! Also, just this weekend, our private jet got caught in a storm over Europe, making Celina Delauney wait for five minutes!"
"Sure, sure," nodded Haruhi disbelievingly.
While the "spirited debate" was going on, everybody seemed to have forgotten Yuki, so he started to inch away until he saw the sketchbook Tamaki dropped. Picking it up, his eyes widened as he noted the quality of the picture. Even though it took Hikaru just a few simple lines and ten minutes, he captured the essence perfectly...eh? He was starting to sound like a fangirl! Suddenly, he noticed the twins grinning devilishly as one of them held out a pen.
"Sign it." They sounded like they were asking him to sign his soul over to the devil himself. Hesitatingly, he took the pen and scrawled his signature onto it. After making the last stroke, it was immediately snatched away. As they walked away grinning, Yuki's sensitive ears caught a wisp of conversation.
"...much"
300,000 yen...new Host..."
Then all that could be heard was their soft snickers, blending into the background noise.
Muhahaha! What the twins are going to do with it will be revealed later! Remember this part!
Blinking, Yuki tuned back into their conversation. Tamaki was proposing a ridiculous idea of lemon cosplay, because "these lovely citrus's need to know they are appreciated! I was thinking lemon meringue pie and lemonade, along with lemon worship time..."
Sweatdropping, Yuki drifted towards the group of unconvinced Hosts and listened to their arguments.
"Tama-chan, what's romantic about a lemon?"
"I'm not sure, but I know we can find it!"
"It's a terrible idea."
"Okaasan!!! So mean..."
"Sempai, Hani-sempai and Kyoya-sempai have a point."
"NOOOO! Even my beloved daughter is going against her daddy!"
While Tamaki was pouting in his corner of woe, the rest of the Hosts started seriously thinking about the problem.
Suddenly Mori had a brilliant idea!
"...Sailors?"
Everyone stared wide-eyed at the silent giant.
"Sailors, huh? That could work..." mused the twins.
Scrawling digits onto his clipboard, Kyoya stated, "Our budget can afford it, but then there won't be any desserts."
Hani wailed, "WHAT? NO DESSERTS? Like cake, and candy, pudding, and cream puffs?"
Tamaki was revived and jumped at the chance to talk. "I have a brilliant idea! What if half of us dressed in the pirate costume from last month? Then we could afford desserts!"
Hani said, "Takashi and I will dress up as pirates again for the sake of desserts! That's okay, right?"
After Mori nodded, Tamaki said, "Okay, we need two more people to dress up as pirates!"
The twins offered and said, "Being bad is more fun!"
"Hey, could we bring in a ship and put tables on the deck?" hollered Hikaru.
"And the wooden posts with seagulls on them! Real, of course," exclaimed Kaoru.
"Stop maxing out our budget," growled Kyoya. Everyone fell silent as he turned to a fresh sheet of paper. Scribbling the prices down in his boyish handwriting, he showed them his calculations.
"This is our budget. It's increased since Yuki-kun brought in more customers. Now, the posts with fake seagulls are acceptable, desserts are needed, and a background of the sea will be made. The ship, however, will need to be built to resemble a pirate ship, so that will be expensive and unpractical."
"Aww...okaasan. It's Yuki-kun's first cosplay! Let's splurge for once," whined Tamaki.
Frowning, Kyoya said, "Fine, but if this goes one cent over our budget, it's coming out of your pocket, Tamaki."
Yuki had been quiet all that time, but when Tamaki offered to buy a life-sized model of a pirate ship for him, he had to say something.
"Tamaki-sempai, it's unnecessary to waste money on my account," interrupted Yuki.
Haruhi added, "What if there was something that we could do that could make more money?"
Tamaki squealed, "An epic swordfight between one of the pirates and one of the sailors for the entertainment of our beautiful princesses!"
Kyoya digested that and nodded slowly. "It could work if we persuade the fencing club to give them a lesson, but they have to be naturally quick at learning these things. Hani-sempai already knows fencing, but which sailor would fight?"
It went unsaid that Kyoya wouldn't, so the "pirates" turned to Tamaki, Yuki, and Haruhi.
"Ano, the captain would fight if he knew how..." laughed Tamaki sheepishly.
"Are you kidding? I would poke someone's eye out," sighed Haruhi.
All eyes fell on Yuki.
"Eh? I do martial arts..."
"Excellent! You can fight Hani-sempai right now."said Kyoya, pushing him towards Hani. "and we can judge you."
Facing Yuki with a small grin on his face, Hani said, "Don't worry, Yu-chan! I'll go easy on you!"
Suddenly, the whirring of a high-powered motor filled the room. Renge appeared, sitting at a table with a microphone headset on.
"This is the first battle between Hani-sempai and Yuki-kun! Who will be the winner?"
Sweatdropping, Yuki wondered, what's going on? He couldn't see any way out, so he settled into a basic stance and watched Hani intently. He had no idea how good his sempai was. Looks can be deceiving. The two of them started circling one another, no one willing to make the first move.
Suddenly, Hani launched himself in the air and aimed a high kick at Yuki's head.
"Hani-sempai's moves are light and graceful, but Yuki-kun---eh?! He's not bad!" shrieked Renge.
Yuki had jumped into a back flip and landed on his feet a meter away, causing a flock of admiring ooh's and ahh's from their audience.
They grinned slightly at each other. It was silently acknowledged that Hani wouldn't go easy on him anymore.
"Yuki-kun's move now. He's elegant and precise while attacking, making him a difficult opponent! What an intense aura!"
Switching from defense to offensive, Yuki ran towards his unmoving sempai and started swiftly throwing punches. Hani managed to dodge all of them just by sidestepping, but Yuki dropped down and tried to sweep Hani's legs from underneath him.
"Ooh, the legendary double-trouble punch/side kick attack! But what's this? Hani jumped and...oh my!" gasped Renge.
To retaliate, Hani had jumped up, and single-handedly gained more momentum by bouncing off Yuki's back with the palm of his right hand.
"Hani-sempai has bounced out of trouble successfully and---what's this?! Yuki-kun has turned around and punched him!"
A second after Hani had pushed off of Yuki's back, he had twisted his body and sent Hani flying with a direct smack to his head, mastered after years of living with Shigure and his perverted antics.
Renge excitedly yelled, "Hani-sempai has drawn his weapon in midair!"
Frantically, Yuki looked up, thinking, weapon?! What weapon?
"Smoke bombs! What will Yuki-kun do?!"
Hani threw the five green little bombs right before collapsing in an ungraceful heap on the floor. Time seemed to slow down as everyone's eyes followed them up, up, up, then gravity pulled them down, right in front of Yuki, then they exploded with an ear-splitting BOOM! Blinded by the thick smog, everyone started coughing, Renge's coughs magnified by her headset. As the air started to clear, the Host Club could see Yuki kneeling on the marble floor, still coughing.
"Yuki-kun, are you all right?" asked Haruhi, placing a hand on his trembling shoulder. Suddenly, her brow creased in worry as she turned to Tamaki.
"Sempai, I think he's having trouble breathing!"
Tamaki ran over to where Haruhi was crouched next to Yuki, leaned over, and listened to his irregular breathing. Straightening up, he panicked, "Kyoya, what do we do?"
Slightly worried, Kyoya quickly walked over and knelt down. After listening to his labored breathing, he started undoing Yuki's tie, ignoring the loud "moe" from Renge. Hikaru and Kaoru bounced over, ogling at Kyoya's behavior.
"Kyoya-sempai, I never knew you were a crazed homo who likes to take advantage of dying people!" they shrieked.
"Your stupidity amazes me," snapped Kyoya. "The smoke must have triggered his asthma, therefore loosening his tie will help him breathe easier." Hani ran over, took one look at Yuki, then burst into tears.
Grabbing Haruhi's arm, he wailed, "I'm sorry, Yu-chan! I didn't try to hurt you on purpose! Don't die on us! WAHHH!"
Tamaki was still panicking, running around like a headless chicken.
Kyoya suggested, "Tamaki, instead of doing nothing, why don't you get an inhaler from the nurse before Yuki-kun passes out?"
"Right! Come on Mori-sempai!"
Inside Yuki's head:
Great. I'm going to die. These fools aren't doing anything! Worse, I'm going to transform in front of them, then die. No, what will probably happen is I transform, they find out, then Akito kills me while Hatori erases their memories.
Pretty soon those morbid thought took their toll as Yuki's eyelids drooped and as the Host Club looked on helplessly, passed out.
His last thought?
I hate this school.
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYOYA!!
Hello, hello! I'm so sorry! I haven't updated this story since...AUGUST 20th!! oh no...
I'm so sorry...sob sob. I didn't even realize 11/22 was Kyoya's birthday until I re-read the manga and realized. So, this chapter is for a) Thanksgiving, and b) Kyoya's b-day!
Thank you for all the inspiring reviews that forced me to get my lazy butt moving! XD
Have a happy Thanksgiving!
P.S. If you're reading this on Thanksgiving, shame on you! Go out there and be with your family and thank the lord you're not me, who has to babysit 11 brats while their parents come here tonight to eat and play mah-jong. I adore kids, but there's going to be crying drooly babies, obnoxious little-miss-know-it-all's, and little girls who cry if their plates aren't pink! They're gonna eat me ALIVE!
oh well...maybe it's divine punishment for not updating in a while...
Please review so you can lift my spirits tomorrow when I'm in the hospital, diagnosed with internal bleeding and loss of logical reasoning...
Ja ne (hopefully)
Mimi-chan
xxfirebubblesxx