"We'z dere yet?"
"Boss! Dis a'redy happn'd last time! And no! We'z ain't dere yet!"
"Okay, flashgit Gobroz."
The orks and (commies) warriors walked through the never-ending desert. Gobroz knew, that without the goody-boyz' little holomap, they would be totally lost. Suddenly, he remembered something... or more precisely, someone.
"Oy! We'z forgot Drakk!"
Eimmoc turned.
"Drakk?"
"Oy! Dat'z our grot! Don't worry, flashgit Gobroz! He'z seif wif Darug, right?"
"Yeh, boss! Right 'ere!"
Darug opened a small compartment on his huge backpack, which could perhaps fit a 'umie laspistol with some effort, and the grot's head popped out, gasping for air.
Gobroz wanted to say something, but words eluded him. So, he simply facepalmed.
After that, Drakk sat ON the mek's backpack. And they continued with their journey. After about half an hour, they spotted the first bits of a Tau installation.
******
The communications centre they were in looked much more... polished and tidy than the Imperial ones. But the human general on the screen was only too familiar.
"So, I see my brother FINALLY sent you boys to help."
"Yeh, dat'z right." said Nagosh.
Nagosh and Gobroz were the only orks in the room, the others were down in the armoury.
Gobroz saw only one difference between Alix back on Akhalam and Ulix, who was here on Carridia. Ulix liked liked black tea, not green. Otherwise, the two were identical.
"And they proved some tactical skill when they defeated my men, along with some Chaos troops."
The Tau commander Teivos,who spoke was a rather imposing sight. Fully clad in one of those commander-class battle-armours, he was a walking weapons platform. Before he left his weapons at the armoury, they had been quite a sight.
A shoulder-mounted railgun on the left shoulder and a flamethrower on the other. The final weapon was a massive, infantry-annihilating pulse chaingun, which was so HUEG, that the commander had to hold it with both hands.
"Yeh! You'z don't mess wif orkz!"
"Yeh, boss. But we'z shud start wif da truce an' everyfin'."
"You'z right! Now, den..."
-
Down in the armory, the boys were doing... stuff.
Darug was looking at all of the weaponry the Tau had there. From pulse rifles to railguns, these guys had it covered. Then, an idea appeared in his mind. And he started workin', to the confusion of many around him.
But Muskit was not one of them, for he was playing fetch with Ugu and the... chew-toy.
And Drakk... was also looking at weapons. Weapons located in the 'flamer' category, to be precise. And his finger drifted close to a button.
Muskit watched, shocked, as a small running fireball darted between him and Ugu, heading for a small fountain.
"Deze Tauzy boyz've gotz weerd stuff 'ere."
Ugu just nodded and threw the foot back.
Drakk jumped into the fopuntain and all the water in it was vaporised, before it was replaced by more of the liquid. The grot just watched his surroundings, knowing he was an unlucky [s]guy[/s] [s]ork[/s] gretchin.
-
Negotiations were going quite well. If all went well, they could send a joint search team under the surface.
But suddenly... two other transmissions were patched through by operators. A guardsman and a fire warrior. Both looked terrified.
"Sir! Our defensive positions around the location with the strongest tremors have been taken! Chaos marauders attacked us without warning! We barely had any time to mobilise, let alone defe.."
"Commander! Our forward outposts have been all but obliterated by Chaos assailants! Our Shas'la units are dead and..."
Both speakers were then killed. The guardsman by a sickly green cloud of smoke and the fire warrior a bit more directly, ie. a hammer to the head.
A sorcerer of the big papa and a Chaos lord of Khorne appeared, respectively. Two figures the orks knew only too well. Both camera views went all fuzzy and stuff.
"Connection lost, commander."
"Damnit! General Ulix, we must strike against these invaders!"
"Quite right! I will send my men immediately! Take our green friends with you. They shall be invaluable, I bet."
"Understood. Teivos, out." the Tau commander then turned to the rest, "grab your friends and let's get going."
"Yeh! Com' on, flashgit Gobroz!"
The two orks ran to the armoury Gobroz went for Muskit and Ugu and Nagosh took Drakk out of the fountain... forcefully.
Gobroz then approached Darug.
"Oy, you'z comin'?"
The mek turned, obviously annoyed by the interruption.
"Nah! I'z got sum work ta do."
"Really?"
"YA RLY! Now, off ya go!"
Gobroz just shrugged and went after Nagosh.
******
"Nebulon, stop being such a sissy!"
"No, master! I AM NOT going down there again! I've had enough of getting beaten by a band of orks!!"
"I'm warning you, old friend..."
"NO, Rakul! Nothing can make me go down there! Not this time!"
"Oh?" Mithara appeared from seemingly nowhere, "come on, Neby! I know you can take on some stupid ork! Show me how strong you are!"
She kissed him on the cheek.
Nebulon just stood there for a LOOONG moment. Then he grinned like a madman and disappeared in a cloud of smoke, along with Rakul.
"Boys... all they need is some motivation."
******
The Chaos boyz were just minding their business, playing cards, spreading disease, just standing idly and mutilating corpses. But then came the two attacking forces.
The guardsmen provided irritation with their flashlights and a meat shield in one, while mighty Leman Russ battle tanks blasted their enemies into tiny bits. Nothing stood in their way.
The Tau had the aid of a few orks and a squig, who just charged against enemy lines. Even Rubrics remembered the previous battles and recognized these orks. Then came 'support' fire from the Tau forces, which annihilated entire buildings. Even the aforementioned automatons considered retreat.
The four Chaos lords and their personal retinues watched the approaching forces.
"It ssseemssss the only entrancesss and exitsss have been taken."
"Deliciously obvious observation, not so delicious situation."
"Oh, come on! More heads to split in half!"
Rakul watched the Tau side and the approaching orks and commanded.
"Boys, we're going after the Tau, with Nebulon. Retinues will hold the guardsmen."
"Yes, lord Rakul!" shouted the devoted of all four Chaos gods. The fact they considered the sorcerer a leader was... an honour.
The warriors, automatons and whatnot charged at the guardsmen, axes in the air, souls in their armour, noise in their weapons and plague in their flesh. Even the tanks would be in trouble this time.
Rakul watched the force on the other side. The orks were far ahead of the rest. Excellent. His arms went into the air.
"Forces of Change... of Chaos... bend to my will!!!"
His hands pointed to the canyon walls. Several orbs of Chaos energy shot and hit their mark. The walls collapsed, leaving the orks alone.
"Oy... dis ain't gud."
"You bet, Nagosh Ubzug!"
Nebulon appered above them and dived straight at the warboss, axe first. Nagosh blocked the attack wit his own chain choppa' and the two were at it, yet again. Nagosh seemed to have the upper hand, but then Sangus joined in on the fun. Even the mighty ork's power was put to the test.
Muskit and Gobroz were fighting... well, dodging attacks from Rakul and Morbus, respectively. They just couldn't close the gap between them and the two sorcerers.
And Ugu? Ugu was chasing Carito, who didn't want his delicious beauty to get defiled by some black ball with teeth.
"NOT DELICIOUS, NOT DELICIOUS!!!!!"
******
Khorne's warpal fortress was mostly quiet, except for the ever-present wails of those killed in his name. But you got used to such sound effects.
He sat upon his throne and watched the mountain of skulls below. It was always such a chore to get down... maybe he should install an elevator or something.
He suddenly felt a psychic wave. One of the others wanted to talk. He made some blood appear in his hand and he then threw it into the space in front of him. It formed a sort-of screen and he could see Slaanesh.
"Khorne, Khorne, Khorne!!!"
"Calm down, geez! Now, what's up?"
"Tzeentchey has something to show us! Nurgley is already there! Could you pick me up?"
"Uhhhh.... sure. See ya soon."
"Okay, teehee."
The screen disappeared and he mumbled:
"Why does she need picking up? I know I have to go through her territory to get to Tzeentch, but she has her own ride. Wait, that's right... she's weird."
Khorne stood up, started walking downwards... and tripped.
He rolled down the mountain of skulls and other kinds of bones, which were obviously misplaced, but removing them would cause the whole thing to collapse. And that would not be cool. After ten minutes, he reached the bottom. His back hurt. A LOT.
"Damnit..."
He slowly made his way to the bowels of his fortress, where his steed was. By species, it was a Juggernaut. But it was nearly ten times as big, dwarfing even Bloodthirsters. Even Khorne himself sometimes had difficulty getting on the stupid thing. But damn, it was badass. It also had space for two.
He sat upon it and commanded:
"Forward!"
The beast listened to its master and ran at full speed, ignoring the closed gate in front of it. Doolb, the gate master of a Bloodthirster, muttered in sorrow:
"That's the fifth time in two days."
---
The mighty beast traversed the land with its godly rider. Flames ignited beneath its feet and any daemons who did not step out of its path were mercilessly crushed. Badass to the max, just how Khorne liked it.
Then, a high wall came into view. The warpal walls were the things which kept the different realms of the goods apart, along with the gods' respective daemons. Between these walls... well, no one knew what was between them, except the gods themselves and they didn't like talking about it. And they were different, depending on whose side they were. Khorne's walls, for example, were painted bright red, if it was blood or paint, no one knew, and lined with gold, along with the random spray-paints like 'Blood for the blood god!' and 'Khorne rules!'.
He reached a gatehouse, which was half khornate, half slaaneshi. A Bloodthirster and a Keeper of Secrets were playing a game of Warpal battle cards.
Khorne shouted:
"Hey! Let me through!"
The two looked at him and immediately went to work. The gate of warpal metal soon opened and he entered the realm of Slaanesh. Her walls were purple, with hints of black here and there and... interesting markings on them.
The Juggernaut sped up and they were in front of her citadel in no time.
Khorne pushed a button and an impulse was sent to the steed's brain. The Juggernaut roared.
-
Slaanesh was in her quarters, brushing her hair. Then came a mighty roar. And she knew such roars could only be made by Khorne's little beasties. She swiftly walked to her window and looked outside. Way below, she saw the Blood God, I all of his glory. And she waved at him.
"Hey Khorne!"
He yelled back:
"Hi! Are you coming or what?"
"Okay! Catch!"
"What... ARE YOU DOING?!"
She leaned out of the window and then jumped out. Khorne acted by instinct. He first jumped onto a wall nearby and then as high as he could and caught her in mid-air. He then landed on the ground, goddess in his arms.
"You're insane."
"Yeah... but I've got a knight in bloody armour!"
Then, with uncanny speed, she lifted his helmet, gave him a kiss on the cheek, put the helmet back on and jumped out of his arms.
Khorne just stood there for a moment, shocked. He then shook his head and watched a scene he never even imagined.
"What a cute little puppy!!"
How did she know the Juggernaut was just two months old?
She raised a hand and something appeared in it. The Juggernaut sniffed and then seemed intrigued.
"Oh, you want the Scooby snack? Well, then, sit!" the beast sat so vehemently, that the ground shook and Khorne almost fell, "good boy! Here ya go!"
She threw the snack to the beasty and it nommed the cookie mercilessly.
"I'm seeing things, this is a dream."
"Can I call him Fluffy? PLEASE!!!"
Fluffy looked pleased with the new name. Somehow, he just couldn't say no
"Okay, okay! He's Fluffy!"
"Thanks! You're the best!"
He didn't know what to say to that, so he got on Fluffy and helped Slaanesh up. She caught him around the waist and he simply screamed.
"GO... Fluffy!"
The puppy roared again and they were off.
From somewhere above, two Daemonettes watched.
"They look so cute together!"
"Yeah!"
-
Tzeentch and Nurgle were watching the spectacle through the Changer's orb. Suddenly, the door was torn out of its hinges. Khorne let Slaanesh go in first and then entered himself.
"Hey, Tzeentchey!"
"Yeah, hi, feather brain."
One of his avian heads looked at them.
"Ah, you're here! Excellent! Our boys are fighting the very orks who humiliated us before! And they're winning! LOOK!!!"
He pointed with five of his hands and their gazes were fixed on the orb.
******
The orks were outnumbered and losing. But one Tau wasn't gonna let that happen.
"Throw me that missile launcher!"
The other one listened and threw it to Eimmoc, who then climbed onto the rocks, aimed and shot.
The rocket flew towards its target, a large ork assaulted from two directions. Nebulon noticed it and his eyes grew wide. Nagosh used the oportunity and threw m and then jumped away. Sangus just watched the approaching missile.
"Juuust great."
It exploded near him and the explosion sent him straight at Morbus and the two collided. Muskit had the time of his life laughing.
And Nebulon now looked at a charging Nagosh.
"Uh oh."
He too was sent flying. But towards Rakul.
"Uh oh."
When Rakul got Nebulon off him, two orks were in his view. A warboss and a flashgit. They was ready to battle again, as were he and Nebulon. But suddenly, he heard a crack. He was sure the others did, too. It came from below.
"Wot wos dat, flashgit Gobroz?"
"I'z dun't know..."
Cracks appeared beneath their feet and the ground itself soon broke into pieces and they fell into darkness.
"Boss, Gobroz!"
"Rakuuul!"
"Not delicious!"