Chapter 12: The Dreaming
It was dark.
Opening his eyes, he discovered he was in a room that looked like one that belonged in the Main House: large, devoid of any furniture, and with shoji doors framing the doorway.
Standing up, he realized that his clothing had been replaced with a thick silk kimono that pooled around his scarred ankles. Faded phoenixes soared on the rich red background, reminiscent of his own blood that had stained his yukatas while he was living here.
Shuffling to the exit, he tugged on the door and slipped outside easily. After wandering the deserted hallways for a while, he concluded that nobody was home. His clothes were smothering him though, and much too large. When he padded across the cold floors, the hem and sleeves trailed after him, fading embroidery unraveling with every step he took.
Pretty soon, he left the sprawling compound and entered the snowy courtyard, unaware of the skeletal house crumbling silently as he reached the heavy gates.
Touching the worn wood, he grimaced as he recalled half-forgotten daydreams from his childhood: breaking that barrier of silence, smashing these very portals, and running.
Suddenly, he jerked his hand back, surprised at the sudden warmth emanating from the door. Had the spot under his palm just changed temperature?
As if heaven itself had responded, he realized that underneath his disintegrating kimono, he was wearing a light button-down shirt, crisp and white. Shedding the last layers of clinging silk, he pushed open the doors, letting the flood of bright sunlight warm his face.
Yuki Sohma awoke to the sound of laughter.
"Kawaii!" Hani giggled as he flipped through an old photo album. Currently, the Host Club, Shigure, and Tohru were pouring through the more public past of the Sohmas. Even Kyoya had finally woken up after being prodded a couple of times and was now tiredly nursing a cup of coffee the Sohmas' resident flower had prepared.
"Takashi, lookie lookie!" he exclaimed, pointing excitedly to a series of blurry pictures.
"Ara? I remember those. That's when Momiji borrowed his father's camera for a day," grinned Shigure as he peered at the pictures. In the first one, a smiling dark-haired girl was tugging on the hand of a reluctant boy, obviously Kyo. In the background, there was a blurry silhouette of three children sitting in a patch of colored spots, presumably flowers. In the next photograph, Momiji had zoomed in and captured another heart-warming moment: a six-year-old Haru was giving a scowling, long-haired girl a flower. Leaning on a tree beside them was a sleepy Yuki, clutching a drooping wildflower. He was unmistakably the same person he was today, albeit younger.
"Ne, Gure-san, who's that?"
"Ah, Rin is one of our numerous cousins."
Staring over Hani's shoulder, Tohru exclaimed, "Wahh, Isuzu-san is so cute!"
Something clicked in Kyoya's foggy mind as he registered what she said.
Isuzu…Rin…Isuzu "Rin" Sohma…
With a jolt, he realized that he had included that name on his list of the Sohma Investigation.
He leaned over to stare at the photo. Dark scowl, silky hair, and a petite porcelain frame confirmed his suspicions: there was no doubt that she was the same girl as the one from the Ootori online records.
That must mean…
Kyoya's internal musings were interrupted by Mori pulling another photo album from the cardboard box.
"What's that, Takashi?"
"Ah, it's the old Mabudachi trio's pictures," said Kaoru, staring at the outlandish cover. Somebody had used gold glitter glue and wrote, "The Fantastical, Brilliant, Engrossing Adventures of THE MABUDACHI TRIO: The Memoirs of Three. By Shigure Sohma, Ayame Sohma, and Hatori Sohma." Litte doodles of snickering dogs, sparkly snakes, and vein-popping seahorses had been scribbled around the title. To top it off, colorful sequins had been generously applied to every visible surface.
"What, no feathers?" asked Hikaru, voice oozing sarcasm.
"Ah! That's because nobody besides Kureno-san—" started Tohru, before abruptly cutting herself off by slapping a hand over her mouth. Everybody noticed the panicked, guilty expression she shot Shigure, who was nonchalantly flipping through the old memories, occasionally stopping to exclaim at some picture.
"Everybody looks so young," commented Haruhi, somewhat unthinkingly.
"Haruhi…" sighed Tamaki, shaking his head despairingly. "My daughter, why can't you act more like the feminine Tohru? Not to mean otousan doesn't love your spitfire nature, but you should view her as your ROLE MODEL, your shining beacon of—"
"It's true," stated the twins, peering over the dog's shoulder and interrupting Tamaki's heated rant. "Ara? What were you doing there?" they queried, pointing at a faded photograph. A young Ayame, who couldn't have been more than nine years old, yet had the same silver tresses he had today, was glomping a wriggling Hatori, while Shigure and an unknown boy were running after a baby, whose face was cut out of the picture.
"Ah…our first attempt at babysitting. We were around nine, Kureno—see that little boy?— must have been a year younger than us, and little Akki-chan was three."
"Akki-chan…Akito-san?" yelped Tohru.
"Hai! Ah, Akito is the head of the house, so I'm sure he'll be looking forward to meeting Yuki's friends soon," smiled Shigure, turning to the Host Club.
Kyo, now nestled in the crook of Hani's arm, narrowed his eyes. The damn dog had a hidden agenda, as always. Why would Akito be interested about these rich bastards from Ouran High?
While they were talking, the twins liberated the album and started flipping through it, seeing the Mabudachi trio slowly grow up and graduate from high school.
"Hikaru," Kaoru whispered, nudging his twin's side.
"Hn?"
"Have you noticed that adults don't appear in this album? Not even once?"
"Maybe their parents are like ours. Okaasan and Otousan are always flying off to some country or another."
"Then did they grow up alone?"
"Their parents probably made sure they had adult supervision or something."
"Or something."
Hikaru emitted a vague noise of irritation. "Do you have a better explanation?"
"No, but—"
"Where is Yuki-kun anyways?" asked Tamaki, looking around for their missing classmate.
"He's still sleeping upstairs, Suou-san."
"Great! Let's go," exclaimed Hikaru, jumping up and pulling Kaoru with him.
"Ah, b-but Yuki-kun needs—"
Hikaru barged ahead, cutting the stammering girl off. "Shigure-san, where is his room?"
"Second door on the left. Have fun, children!"
As the twins ran towards the stairs, Haruhi blocked their path, hands on her hips. "Hikaru! Kaoru! Yuki-kun needs his sleep, as Tohru-chan was saying before you so rudely—"
"Ah, Haruhi! You're so cute when you're mad," commented Kaoru, pushing her towards a surprised Tamaki.
"My adorable daughter! Come to otousan!"
"Stop it, Tamaki-sempai!"
"Come on, Stripes-chan!"
"M-mrowr!"
With that, the whole gang bumbled upstairs with the exception of Shigure, Kyoya, and Tohru.
"A-ano, Shigure-san…should we stop them?"
"Hmm?" Looking up from his seat at the kotatsu, Shigure said, "Don't worry, Tohru-kun! Yuki will be overjoyed at seeing his beloved friends at his bedside…ara? Kyoya-kun, not tagging along?"
"They'll come down soon enough," replied the dark-haired teen, taking another long sip of coffee.
"You do know that caffeine stunts growth, ne?"
"Hnn."
"Second door on the left…here it is!" exclaimed Tamaki, kicking the door open.
"It's dark and scary, Takashi," whimpered Hani, peering around his cousin's broad back. In his arms, Kyo rolled his eyes. Is he for real?
Fumbling out into the darkness, Mori located something that felt like a switch, and flicked the light on.
Thankfully, Yuki's room was relatively neat, a testament to Tohru's unwavering persistence.
Haruhi noticed Yuki's room was devoid of any personal touches. Nothing but a small, generic watercolor hung from the stark white walls. But then again, Kyoya's room was pretty much the same, only with a phalanx of maids to keep it tidy.
"Yu-chan?" whispered Hani, poking the prone lump on the bed cautiously.
No response.
Hani poked harder, face scrunched up in concentration.
"Yu-chan. Yu-chaaaaan. Yuchanyuchanyuchan!" By now, his gentle pokes had turned into insistent shoves. Mori finally scooped both him and Kyo up, reminding him to "watch his strength."
"If he really doesn't want to wake up yet, I guess there's nothing to do but wait," said Haruhi, secretly glad for Yuki's immunity to Hani's pokes.
Suddenly, Hani exclaimed in dismay, "Stripes-chan!" The orange cat had stiffened, wriggled free from the senior's grasp, and bolted through the open door. Kyo ran like the wind through the hallway and executed a sharp turn as he reached his bedroom, leaving the bewildered Host Club behind. Clawing open the door, he scampered inside, slamming it behind him with his hind leg. The slam of the door masked the familiar POOF that accompanied the Jyuunishi transformation.
"Hurry, Takashi! We have to find Stripes-chan!" As the Host Club turned to leave, they heard the soft rustling of sheets. Turning around in slow motion like in a bad horror movie, they saw their classmate sit up and stare at them with blank eyes. The normally intelligent glint in those deep violet eyes had been dulled to a glassy sheen; furthermore, although he was staring in their general direction, it seemed like he was staring through them rather than at them.
The same thought ran through everybody's mind: Creepy.
They watched as he kicked off the blankets and slalomed through the small crowd around his bedside, exiting quietly through the ajar door. The Host Club glanced at each other, shrugged, then proceeded to follow him through the hall, down the stairs, and into the living room, where he began to mechanically eat the onigiri Tohru had prepared.
As the rest of the Host Club began filing back in, they noticed a new person was now seated at the table. Her long, sandy brown hair was tied back with a cheerful red bow, just like…
"Renge-kun?" questioned Tamaki, reaching out for her shoulder.
However, when the young lady turned around, they noticed she certainly wasn't their eccentric manager.
"Good morning, Yuki-kun!" Tohru piped up cheerfully.
The only response she got was him sitting down and mechanically eating the onigiri she prepared.
Undiscouraged, she turned to the Host Club, "Ah, everybody, this is Ritsu Sohma. Richan-san, these are Yuki-kun's friends from school!"
"G-good morning, everyone. It's very nice to meet you…"
Her voice was soft, almost a timid whisper.
"Ah, Ritsu, how rare for you to visit us all the way out here," exclaimed Shigure, sniffing delightedly at the treats his cousin now brought instead of books. "What business brings you here?"
"Ah, u-um, Ayame-san asked me to send a message…"
"That's rare. He usually jumps at any chance he gets to visit Yuki and me…unless…I'm being replaced in his heart?! Oh, Aya, the light of my life, how could y—ACK!"
Three slices of daikon radish smacked Shigure's babbling mouth in rapid succession.
"Stupid dog, can't you be quieter in the mornings?" grumbled Yuki, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"Ah, Yuki-kun, how cruel," the dog whimpered as he peeled the vegetables from his face.
A pregnant pause. Then…
"GOMEEEEEN NASAAAAAAAI! IT'S DEFINITELY ALL MY FAULT SINCE I CAME AND DISTURBED YOUR MORNING AND RUINED YOUR BREAKFAST AND THE REST OF YOUR DAY AND I DON'T DESERVE TO LIIIIIIVE!"
The Host Club flinched as if they'd been slapped, staring fearfully at the spazzing beauty in front of them, who was currently waving his arms around, bountiful sleeves creating large gusts of wind. Seeing the obvious discomfort of her guest, Tohru had immediately jumped up and proceeded to try to calm the frantic monkey down, reassuring Ritsu that he "didn't ruin their morning, it was a perfectly lovely time for you to visit, and you're never a bother so please don't say that again and of course everybody deserved to live," which sent the poor crossdresser into a larger tizzy, screaming about how he was making such a mess and wasting Tohru's valuable time trying to consol a worthless being such as himself.
Finally, Shigure sighed, put down his teacup, and reached over to give a sound poke to Ritsu's side. The Jyuunishi member froze, then collapsed limply to the ground. Returning to his seat, the dog muttered something about how nobody could ever remember the power of the Poke.
After half an hour of small talk and the appearance of Kyo, Ritsu left, with repeated invitations to come visit the Sohma family hot springs anytime they wanted.
"Ja ne, Ritsu-san," called Tamaki, waving cheerfully to his departing figure. Turning around to Haruhi, he exclaimed, "Another perfect example of a genteel lady. We really should let you visit Yuki-kun's family more often, he probably has a few more feminine cousins hiding in the family tree…why are you all staring at me like that?"
"Ah, Hikaru, he didn't realize?"
"I guess not, Kaoru. But remember, this is Tono we're talking about."
"What? What didn't I get? Okaasan!"
Kyoya sighed, adjusted his glasses. "Ritsu Sohma, the 'genteel lady' you were referring to, is actually…"
"A strapping young lad, only skinnier and with a tendency to crossdress," interrupted Shigure cheerfully, holding his empty teacup to Tohru for a refill.
"…"
"Tono?"
Thump.
"Ah, he's dead."
"Sempai?"
"Leave him be, Haruhi. Hey, want to play Dai Hin Min?"
"Oh, I love that game! Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, want to play?"
"Why not?"
"Keh! I'm not losing to you, damn rat!"
And so they went, leaving the stunned blonde lying facedown on the floor, crumbling into fine, white powder.
"Revolution!" cheered Hikaru, showing the two jokers he was dealt.
"A-amazing, Hitachiin-san," gasped Tohru. "Now the order is reversed, ne? So the second-poorest man goes next…ara? It's me? U-um…"
As she was sweating over whether or not she should pass, Hikaru remarked offhandedly, "You know, Tohru-kun, you don't hafta call Kaoru and me 'Hitachiin-san.' It'll get confusing."
"And no 'san' either," added Kaoru, munching contentedly on his new favorite snack, a commoner type of chocolate-covered biscuit/cracker things called Pocky. "You can just use 'kun,' Tohru-kun."
"R-really? Okay then, Hita—ah, Hikaru-kun!" she exclaimed. Eto…so Hikaru-kun parts his hair to the right, while Kaoru-kun parts his to the left, right? Eh? Or is it the other way around? How does Fujioka-kun tell? Should I also address Yuki-kun's other friends as informally? Why is everybody staring at me? Ah! It's still my turn!
"Tohru-chan, do you want to pass?" asked Haruhi.
Whew… "Y-yes please! Thank you, Fu—um…H-haruhi-chan!"
Everybody smiled as they realized Tohru had become less formal with them; that had to be a sign of progress, right?
"Tired," gasped Hani, dropping bonelessly to the grass-covered ground on the front yard of Shigure's house. After playing Dai Hin Min for what seemed like hours (Final scores: Kyoya, Yuki, and Mori had all won once; Haruhi won twice), Tamaki had finally revived and declared that they should take advantage of this beautiful (read: freezing) weather to play commoner games outside.
Taking turns, they had finished a large can of coffee (straws were used for the prevention of indirect kisses, much to the disappointment of some) and played "Kick the Can," tag, and other childish games. Unfortunately, the brief sugar high that came from the caffeine wore off soon, leaving them in the sorry state they were in now.
"Tohru-kun, it's almost time for lunch," whined Shigure pathetically, standing on the porch.
"Ah, yes! Please excuse me everybody," gasped Tohru, jumping up and running inside the house. Haruhi sighed, stood up, and brushed the grass stains off her pants, while remarking that she probably should go see if Tohru-chan needed help.
"Thank and praise Kami-sama, for today, we are able to taste heaven, crafted by two beautiful princesses in the bloom of their youth!" extolled Tamaki, bouncing excitedly around an exhausted Kyo.
"It's your fault anyway if she doesn't have enough food right now to feed all of us," commented Haruhi, oblivious to the dawning realization of three of the younger hosts. "She might need somebody to get more groceries. Seven unexpected guests dropping out of nowhere is really troublesome," she muttered bluntly, obviously speaking from personal experience.
"NOOOO! Daddy didn't realize, how could I have been so inconsiderate to my darling daughter's needs? Oh Haru—"
"Sempai? Could you let go of my leg?"
"Hey! If Tono wants to go visit a commoner's supermarket, I've got the shopping list right here," yelled Hikaru, waving a piece of paper while Kyoya, Kaoru, Mori and Hani were listening to Tohru's vague directions on how to reach the local stores.
"When did everybody…? Ah, never mind."
Kyo stood up, saying something about Tohru "being crap with directions" and he'll take them "if they wanted to go that badly."
"Girly boy over here can help with the cooking," scoffed Kyo, jabbing a thumb in Yuki's direction. "If he's being useless, just sma—OOF." That last part was the cat getting the wind knocked out of him by a flying rock conveniently aimed at his head. If Haru was here, he would definitely say, "Mystery…"
While Kyo and the male Hosts (minus Yuki, who had run to the secret base) visited the local supermarket, Haruhi persuaded Tohru to let her help with the cooking.
"For lunch, I was thinking we could let everybody make their own hand-rolled sushi," chirped Tohru, donning her trusty yellow apron. "Kyo-kun and the others went out to buy nori and other ingredients, so we could cook rice and maybe serve miso soup with it! Would that be okay with you?"
"That sounds great, Tohru-chan," remarked Haruhi, tying on the spare apron her new friend had loaned her.
"Wonderful! Then could you start on the eggs while I make the soup? Yuki-kun should be back with the vegetables soon."
"No problem…"
"Itadakimasu!" chorused eleven voices before they reached out for the bountiful feast the two girls had created. Kyo and company had managed to return relatively unharmed. Nobody mentioned how close the Sohmas were to being banned permanently after knocking down 3 displays of soup cans by runaway shopping carts.
Luckily, Kyoya's charm and influence saved the day— after 2 minutes with the shop manager, she was completely charmed.
The Shadow King strikes again...
"Tohru-kun, you might want to bring the laundry in—it smells like rain," remarked Shigure as he stuck his head through the kitchen door.
"Eh! Oh no," she gasped, dropping the sudsy plate she was washing in the sink.
Haruhi blinked at the mention of rain, wondering if there would be thunder involved. 2:47…it really was getting late. Her father would be wondering where she was. But the boys looked like they were having a lot of fun "spring cleaning," even though winter wouldn't end in another three months or so. Armed with dusters and rags, they scoured the house inside out, much to the immense pleasure of the owner. Of course, they had punched numerous holes in the fragile shoji doors and broke quite a few things running around the house, so maybe Shigure wasn't as pleased as he seemed…
The sun was starting to set and it looked like the rain had no intentions of letting up—if anything, it continued to get stronger, growing in intensity. Haruhi sighed mournfully. They really should have left sooner. If there would be thunder…
She shuddered and stopped thinking about it.
"You are worried."
Whipping her head around, she smiled slightly at Mori, who had a dusty bandana covering his dark hair.
"A little bit, perhaps."
"Should I tell Tamaki to call the driver?"
Relieved, she grinned at her "savior" and nodded awkwardly. "It would be bad if we stayed too long, ne?"
As he turned to leave her by the window, she called out, "Thank you, Mori-sempai."
He nodded briefly, then left.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO RECEPTION?" shrieked Haruhi in a very un-Haruhi-like manner.
Kaoru shrugged. "It means we can't call Tamaki's driver…"
"…and Shigure-san's home phone isn't working either," finished Hikaru easily, twirling his state-of-the-art, completely useless cell phone by its leather strap.
All was quiet for a moment until Hani came to a grand realization.
"Ne, Takashi, does this mean…"
Haruhi's eyes widened as she caught his drift. No…
The twins also understood what their upperclassman was saying judging by the feline grins that curled their lips.
"…that this is a…"
Don't say it, Hani-sempai!
Kyo paled, Yuki froze, and Shigure snickered.
Please Mother in Heaven, stop this boy from saying—!
"…SLEEPOVER?"
Dear Kami-sama, he said it.
"89 percent of commoners usually watch movies during sleepovers, right?" babbled Tamaki as he snuggled under the kotatsu, dream-violet eyes shining at the prospect of experiencing a real live commoners' sleepover.
And 74 percent of people make up statistics on the spot, right sempai?
"Since the television isn't working right now, we could watch a DVD instead," offered Yuki, browsing through their meager DVD supply. "Mogeta: The Last Crusade? How did this get here?"
"Ah! Kisa-chan left it here last time," explained Tohru, glimpsing the anime cover. "If you want to watch it, I'll make tea."
"Yes please," chorused the twins, thirsty after their dinner of western hamburger made from scratch.
"Please wait a moment then!"
Unbeknownst to them, their desire for tea at that moment would create a catastrophic, cataclysmic outcome for all involved. And it was (indirectly) caused by Ayame, who would probably be delighted at the attention he'll receive soon.
"Oh, Aya! You always think of me," giggled Shigure fondly. His darling cousin had traveled to the Akita Prefecture, famous for its traditional sake industry, and sent him all sorts of delightful sake-related items, such as a sake set with beautiful, ocean-blue porcelain cups and a bottle of "the finest alcohol Akita has to offer;" however, the best thing Ayame had sent was a can of tea leaves which had been marinated in sake before they dried, giving the drinker the exotic experience of getting drunk on tea!
Setting the can down, Shigure hummed happily as he searched for his favorite green cup.
Where could it be…ah! I must have brought it into my study this morning…
Turning to leave, he accidently bumped into a soft, curvy, girlish form.
Please let it be Yuki, please let it be Yuki…
Poof.
…Darn it.
"E-eh? Shigure-san! Sorry!"
Shigure, in dog form, twitched as he saw Tohru's distressed expression. Opening his mouth—ah, muzzle to reassure her, he paused as Yuki's friends appeared, looking curious to what that sound was.
"Uwaa~ it's a puppy!" squealed Hani, running over to hug the large black canine, hopping lightly over the author's discarded kimono, which Kyo quickly swept away.
"How cute," murmured Haruhi as she bent down to pat his furry head. Shigure barked happily as the somewhat loose shirt she was wearing gave him quite an excellent view, then yelped as a certain rat grinded his tail into the floor.
"E-everybody, this is…Spot a-and he's a completely normal dog so…pleasedon'tlookathimlikethat!" babbled Tohru nervously.
The three Sohmas sweatdropped as the same thought ran through their minds: She's TERRIBLE at keeping secrets…
"Tamaki, don't you think we should let Tohru-kun brew her tea in peace?" suggested Kyoya, already shooing the twins out.
"Roger that, Okaasan! Let's go, my beloved daughter!"
Once everybody left, Tohru breathed a sigh of relief and noticed the can of tea leaves for the first time.
"Eh? When did I take that out? Oh well! Got to hurry with the tea-brewing…"
The movie, Kyoya decided, was pretty absurd. There was the lolishota boy with the ridiculously long, exotic name, Aritamis Donpanina Taios, who everybody called Ari; Mogeta, a cute, catlike doll mascot who was his servant/plaything; the stereotypically beautiful, effeminate princess who acted like a typical damsel in distress; and an evil emperor who constantly targets the princess' country with absurd minions.
How childlike, concluded Kyoya. If he was the emperor, he could think of 37 different ways on the spot to shut the country down without having to rely on a mutant gecko and "the forces of evil." Target the economy first, follow up with some biological warfare, add two—better make it three—strategic bombings, and voila! Repeat as necessary.
However, everybody else seemed to be enjoying it. Tamaki would even occasionally shout out words of encouragement to the anime characters, as if they would break the fourth wall to acknowledge him.
"Tea is served," called Tohru, entering the living room with a teapot and ten teacups.
"We really should have waited for you, Tohru-chan," said Haruhi apologetically.
"It's really no problem at all," exclaimed the Sohmas' resident flower, carefully pouring the hot liquid into porcelain cups and passing them around.
"Stop working so hard and just sit down and watch already," grumbled Kyo, moving over to create space for her.
Smiling gently as she handed Mori a cup, she said, "Okay…thank you, Kyo-kun."
Taking the proffered cup, Mori sniffed the warm aroma delicately, then frowned when he couldn't recognize the scent. There was something awfully familiar about it though...
Nobody else seemed to give their tea a second thought— even Kyoya didn't look worried as he took a long sip of the fragrant beverage.
Shrugging, Mori drank it, pleasantly surprised at the unexpected warmth blossoming in his stomach…
"Fouuuund it~" sang Shigure as he spotted the cup that he had been searching for. It had taken awhile, with the waiting for the transformation to wear off and all. Highly anticipating his new treat, he meandered past the living room where Yuki and company were watching an anime— then froze as his sensitive nose was assaulted by the distinct aroma of sake.
Filled with a sense of dread only his clueless cousins could make him experience, he nudged open the shoji door…
…only to be greeted with a chaotic, drunken hell.
Kyo was curled up like a cat, flushed and mumbling in his alcohol-induced sleep. Kaoru, who was usually more reserved, was uncharacteristically talkative and hyper, arguing loudly with an extremely hyped-up Tamaki, who was moving in a jerky, uncoordinated fashion, most unlike his usual self.
Hikaru, on the other hand, was doing less talking, more touching. And who was that pinned to the floor? Shigure stifled a snigger as he witnessed the obviously drunk Hitachiin keeping a weakened Kyoya underneath him, encouraged by his dazed demeanor. A defenseless Kyoya…now that has to be the oxymoron of the year…
While Hikaru indulged in his frisky side, Hani had become quite emotional as he shakily poured himself and a grinning Mori another cup of tea. "Why doshm't aaaanybawdy undershtand hao dif—hic!—cult it ish these days to look ash cooyut as meeee?" he slurred as fat tears rolled down his cherubic cheeks.
Mori laid a large hand on his cousin's blonde head. "The best things in life come who those who wait," he intoned before breaking out into a miniature giggle fit.
"Ne, Takashi, you know I'm a—hic!—dorable, aren't I?" the senior smiled as large pink flowers danced around his head. Shigure sweatdropped as he realized this Hani had serious moodswings.
His questioning gaze swept across the hectic room—ah, Hikaru-kun really did leave Kyoya alone— as he searched for the three people he was most anticipating to see intoxicated. There they are!
His darling Tohru-kun was chatting quite animatedly to a drunk Haruhi as Yuki laid stretched out on the tatami mats, blinking occasionally at the ceiling.
"But sometimes I can't help myself, you know, Haruhi-chan! They're all so beautiful! You know what it's like, right Haruhi-chan?"
"…Eh?" slurred Haruhi, who had been staring into space.
"I really can't help myself, sometimes I just see on accident, just a teeny, tinsy bit," –here, she held apart her fingers to indicate how little that was— "but I always see something and then it's burned into my memory FOREVER."
"Forever is a really, really long time," offered Haruhi, pleased to have formed a coherent thought to add to the conversation.
"Exactly! I knew Haruhi-chan would understand— we're both surrounded by bishies!"
"Yuki-kun is the bishie type," added Haruhi. "Because he's andy…ando…" She frowned in a very displeased manner. The word was right on the tip of her dry, swollen tongue.
At this point, Shigure had slunk to the phone and dialed Hatori in a panic. Please let the phone lines be working, please let it get through to Hari…
The gods must have been feeling benevolent that day, for miraculously, his call got through the raging storm.
"…Hello?"
"Hari! Save me!"
"What did you do now, Shigure?"
"I didn't do it on purpose, I swear! Naïve Tohru-kun must have not noticed that it was Aya's tea and I couldn't do anything because I SHRUNK and pretty high schools girls are welcome to wear baggy shirts around me, but Yuki stomped on my tail and then—"
"Shigure…" There was a steely undertone to Hatori's voice, as if promising to bring much pain to the dog if he didn't tell him what was going on. NOW.
"I got ten underaged, high school students rip-roaring drunk."
Silence.
"They're all acting OOC—that's Out Of Character, since Hari doesn't know author-speak—who knew they were such lightweights? Did you know Tohru-kun isn't as innocent as we thought, and that lolishota has serious moodswings, and…and HIKARU-KUN IS STRIPPING HIS SEMPAI! That sounds really kinky, but they're both guuuuys! Well, if Kyoya-kun tried hard enough, he could probably be a babe, but he's not and I know he's not!"
More of that dreaded silence.
"This is really bad, right?"
Dark waves of malice and unspoken sarcasm seemed to be rolling from the silent phone Shigure was now holding away from his head.
"Hariiii! Say something before Hikaru-kun the Frisky Stripping Monster moves onto Yuki next!"
At this remark, Hatori snapped awake from his daydream of slowly torturing that dumb dog and started sprouting off doctorly advice.
"Throw out their tea right now and lock up the tea leaves Ayame sent you. Make them drink plenty of water before they go to bed—that'll lessen the effects of the hangover. And Shigure, I do hope you have enough common sense in that head of yours to separate the girls from the boys when they go to sleep."
"But they haven't bathed yet!"
"It's dangerous showering while intoxicated. They could drown themselves."
"Thank you Hari-sensei! You really saved me this time…"
Unfortunately, the allotted amount of benevolence towards Shigure from the heavens seemingly ran out, and the line went dead.
Placing the phone back in its cradle, Shigure hurried back towards the living room, wondering where his camera was.
This was probably the best blackmail material he was ever going to get against these teens. Anybody who thought Shigure was going to pass up this golden opportunity obviously didn't know him very well…
A/N: wooooot! After 3 months of labor, this 5830 word chapter is DONE~
fanfiction really is a labor of love... -__-
hello everybody! It's been a while, right? ehehe...sorry. well, HAPPY 2009, happy b-day to me (my birthday was last week), Happy Presidents' Day, and all that jazz.
the drunk scene...i actually had the idea of alcoholic tea leaves a while ago, but i never got around to using it...and i haven't updated in a while, so i was like, "What could I do to make my darling readers/potential reviewers (hinthint) not be mad at me?"
The answer: FANSERVICE~ :D
please drop a review on your way out or else I'll unlease Hikaru-kun the Frisky Stripping Monster on you!
-hoard of screaming fangirls appears-
maybe that wasn't the best threat ever...
review and the Host Club will take up Ritsu's hot springs offer!
-hoard of screaming fangirls run to computers-
muahaha...
ja ne!
mimi-chan