Disclaimer: Bleach, its characters and its settings aren't mine.

Waking up next to Rukia is probably the most wonderful thing that every happened. I've woken next to her before, for various reasons, but I've never woken to her tiny, naked perfection nestled against me.

Her little toes are touching me knees and I could feel her soft breathing against my chest.

She's so warm.

Somehow I'm feeling no urge to get up just yet.

Wait, I've lost something. Luckily I have a very good idea where to find it.

Ah, here it is! An adorably small and perfect bum! What a coincidence! I was looking for one just like this! And now I've found one.

Finders keepers, losers weepers. Sorry my Rukia, but this tiny bum is mine now and I'm going to keep it. I promise I'll always be more gentle with you than Rangiku was with me.

Rukia stirred a bit, looked up at me curiously, as though she wasn't sure what had happened.

I took the opportunity to kiss her.

She smiled at me.

She'd have to go soon, and so would I, but for the next few minutes it was just Rukia and I.

And it's all good.

Okay, a quick recap.

Exactly who knows I'm here?

Let's see, there's Rukia, Renji, Hanataro, Ikkaku and Yumichika. And Ganju.

And Chad.

And let's be reasonable, Momo has to know.

And now Rangiku knows.

Nemu had her eyes shut, so she didn't see me-

But why would shut her eyes if she didn't know?

Or at least suspect?

Captain Ukitake found me, but then he lost me again, thanks to that memory device.

Yuzu and Karin know.

And maybe my father.

You know what? That's a lot of people.

Unfortunately, that list doesn't include Soi Fon, Byakuya or Sajin. Or Tatsuki, for that matter. If it did I'd no longer be so worried about being caught - all the people who actually know I'm here actually like me. And none of them are captains.

Have to keep that in mind.

I'm feeling a little different tonight, so I think I'll do something I don't normally do. I'm going to take a back look through this diary scroll-

I've sat looking at this page for almost a half hour.

Then I wrote that one sentence.

And that one, as well as the one I'm writing now.

Twenty more minutes have passed.

I-

I keep this scroll as a diary. I'm not - rather, I wasn't sure why until last night, when Morisato was out, and in a fit of reverie I decided to look back a few meters.

I had to read it over three times to figure it out, and the first thing I decided was I had to stop. Then I decided I couldn't.

I've been raving.

For like a month now I've been raving. I'm turning into my father, the wild part of him. Writing down garbage about magical girl shinigami and abuse about Tatsuki and the list goes on and on.

What the hell has happened to me?

How could I have just written 'what the hell has happened to me?'

I know what's happened to me.

I'm starting to crack.

No ha ha this time.

No laughter.

I'm not laughing at all.

Am I going nuts?

Answer, No, I don't believe I'm going insane. Not the crazy kind of insane that gets you locked up at least.

Am I growing erratic? Eccentric even?

Answer, Yes, but only inside my own head, I'm sure nobody else has noticed yet.

But only because I don't talk to anyone but Rukia.

Is the stress getting to me?

Answer, yes. And there we have our problem, Pointe Finale. I've been losing my grip, at least in my head I have.

This time there's no joke, there's no crack about Renji or insult for Ikkaku or anything. After my third re-read of this last night I went to Rukia's room and spent the night with my head in her lap. She knew what had happened - she could tell just by looking at me, that I'd finally realized-

-that I have a problem.

I've never been a sociable person, quite the opposite. And that's fine, you know, that's just me – I don't think I should have to apologize for that -

Outside of high school - and really, that's the last time I was normal enough to be relevant, outside of high school I had one friend, Chad. One buddy that I'd hang around with, just kick back on a bench somewhere and enjoy the silence of each others company. I've never needed more, but I was never in a position where I couldn't have had more if I'd wanted to.

That isn't the way it works now. Here at the academy there's the Red Flower, any of whom could cost me my life, and the three I hang around with, Morisato, Seymour and Sei. And I can hardly tell any of them, certainly not The Substitute-addicted Morisato Or Sei, it makes me a little nervous how intently she reads The Substitute and Tatsuki Shoujo.

Hear any funny jokes about either publication? No? Not today? Didn't think so.

The problem is I'm two people. The Ichigo I want to be and the Sado I have to be. And the strain of-

I really thought writing it out would help, but it hasn't. In the end the only guardian of my soul is me. I'll be more vigilant starting now, and I'll be more focused.

I have Rukia, and she's all I'll ever need.

My Rukia. Rukia will take care of me.

Jeeze, what the hell am I doing?

No, Rukia will not take care of me – absolutely out of the question. I don't need to be taken care of and I'm not going to burden Rukia with my problems. If I can't do anything more for her at least I can do that.

Know something? This has to stop. I can just about handle academy life. And once I've got academy credentials I will sneak back into the Seireitei, that's not optional, that's going to happen. I may not be able to leave the Eleventh compound unless I'm going to town or the real world, but I am going back in.

If they find me and try to kill me, so be it. And notice I said try.

I can't be this Sado Kon any longer, he's a fool. I can keep the name, but I have to be Ichigo. And Ichigo does what needs to be done. He always has and he always will.

There's just one thing in my way now, and by God I'm going to deal with it.

Tatsuki, I'm coming for you.

Got that? Like I came for Rukia. Like I came for Orihime. Like I'll come for any of them, if they should ever need me. When I'm focused I'm unstoppable.

And I'm focused again.

I was sitting in my room, plotting my next move. Tatsuki was everything I had worried she would be (though I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of anything anymore). Tatsuki is the Hakuda master from Hell. She was a tournament level martial artist before she got here and she joined the club that first week. And boy, was she well received.

Then she spotted Rukia and Momo – the three of them are hanging out all the time now.

At this point I'm wearing all my patches at once, though only one is actually on my head. All the others are wrapped around my bicep.

Got to keep my head down – Tatsuki can feel my pressure normally, when it's just leaking out, but the patches make me so quiet – you know, that has to be it. She hasn't put two and two together because she can't feel me.

She'll never see me coming this way.

I don't like being this limited, Tatsuki. If Zaraki finds me he'll have me in pieces before I can get the patches off.

Either that or I'll pound him into dog meat.

Wait until I get you alone Tatsuki.

There was suddenly a knock on the window. I'm on the third floor, right?

"Renji?"

"We've got to talk, fast."

"Right."

I followed my pineapple friend out the window at the speed of flash, joined him on the roof of one of the dojos.

"We've got trouble."

"No shit. Did Hanataro tell you about Tatsuki?"

"Yeah, but I'm not here about that. I just heard from my friend in the office. One of the supervisors has started poking around in the records. You've got about two weeks to pay your school fees for the last eighteen months and out to the end of the year."

"Pardon?"

"Your fees Ichigo! The academy is only free to scholarship students, which you're not."

"Can you make me a scholarship student?"

"No, we don't have anyone in the bursar's office."

"Isn't there a sixth division memorial scholarship or something?"

"You might not think it but Captain Kuchiki is the accountant from hell. Anything disappears from divisional coffers he's going to know about it."

"Eleventh-"

"Zaraki is worse than Byakuya, as unbelievable as that is. I was his sixth seat, remember?"

"Hanataro-"

"There's nothing in fourth either-"

"Well my father-"

"Is being watched. He covers you and you're as good as caught."

"Shit Renji, this isn't the news I wanted to hear."

"Hearing from me beats hearing from the school bursar."

"Is there anyone-"

"No. The first thing we did was pass the hat. We can't raise enough money on two weeks notice. And don't even think about going to Rukia, Byakuya manages all the Kuchiki finances."

You know, I had to laugh.

"Caught for lack of money. Unbelievable."

"I've got a plan," said Renji.

"What is it?" Truth told I would have preferred one of Ikkaku's plans, but I'd take any lifeline-

"When I was a student here there was an underground tournament. You win that, the prize will cover your bill." He looked at me very seriously. "You can win, can't you?"

It wasn't an insult, he meant without giving myself away.

"I-I think - yeah, yeah, I can do it. How do I get in?"

"I'm a long time out of the academy," said Renji, "But here's what you used to do-"

You know how I'm guilty of having those things where I say 'what could make my day worse?' Know how I do that?

Somebody, namely me, wasn't thinking. Hadn't been watching the clock. Hadn't being paying attention.

Guess what comes next in the timeline of The Substitute?

The root of my whole fucking problem, thank you very much! The Vizard issue!

There'd been no mention of my mask during the battle with Byakuya issues, only a bunch of heroic posing and three weeks worth of knock-down drag-out with the captain of sixth. Pretty good fight, I wish I'd seen that one. Very melodramatic, with me shouting about Rukia's love-

Yeah, whomever writes The Substitute is pretty definite about the idea of me and Rukia hooking up.

Anyway, today was the day. Thank God Morisato is out of the room.

Normally I at least glance through the story to see what's going on before I really sit down to read it for a good laugh, but today I couldn't help myself, I flipped through until I found the picture of me in the mask. It was a special issue, the damn picture was a fold-out like a Playboy centerfold.

I turned back a page, there was me cutting loose on Grimmjow - they were missing some of the details - I'm sure the Seireitei knew before that fight. I know Byakuya did. Anyways, page before, I'm all bloodied up from fighting Grimmjow, and he stops for a moment to make fun of me before he takes me down. And there I am going into a long soliloquy - Grimmjow had given me some sort of opening, asking how a weakling like me had ever beaten a hollow and how my power was broken which is where I started in on how 'I lost my power before' yada yada 'I gave up a part of my soul in that pit' yada, 'and then I became a-' That's where you flip the page and unfold the centerfold thing -'became a Vizard!'

Then there's a bit of an explanation off to the side about what a Vizard is, and so forth and so on, battle Grimmjow some more, force him back to Hueco Mundo with his tail between his legs.

Whoever is writing this is missing a lot of details. Eleven seconds of Vizard didn't beat Grimmjow. And he left. I'm the one who escaped.

I never thought I'd be a centerfold.

Sigh.

At least I have my clothes on.

They got the mask wrong. Wrong number of stripes, and it's not quite so Gothic in real life. Well done, don't get me wrong, the artist obviously spent a lot of time on this, but it still isn't perfect.

Who the hell was drawing this? Whoever it was, they'd seen me in it, it was way too close to have done it from a description. There couldn't be all that many people who'd seen it up close.

Who'd lived, anyways.

I'm a fricking centerfold.

Who's seen me in the mask? Who was close enough to count approximately the right number of stripes? There couldn't be that many people. Usually I didn't Vizard up until we were in real trouble, when most of the lower-ranked officers had been ordered back, and my Vizard pressure is crushing-

Wait a second-

Up until now I've been assuming it was no one I knew making The Substitute. Clearly that's not true; whoever it is has been close enough to actually see my mask. Strong enough to live through the experience. That's what? Fourth or fifth seat?

Complicated, and I don't feel like complicated today.

No, today I feel like simple.

The Vizard was all anyone was talking about, and at lunch two or three of the more intrepid ones cornered Tatsuki and asked.

I think it says something about my mood that I hadn't read my Tatsuki Shoujo. Somehow I didn't think it'd make me laugh today.

Look at her! Her Yoruichi rig is totally white, That's what she's wearing right now, totally white with a red belt. Everyone else is wearing the damn student uniform! What makes her special? Is she trying to stand out? Is that the point? A normal gi used to be good enough – what the hell has changed that she's wearing that now?

It makes me sick to see her dressed like that! That's what my Sensei wears!

She gives her little fans a glare of death – everyone when quiet all around her, nobody wanted to miss a word-

"Kurosaki Ichigo is a Vizard idiot. That's why he has the mask. Don't ever ask me again."

And she said something more, I don't know what, I wasn't listening anymore. Looked like no one had bothered telling Tatsuki she wasn't supposed to talk about that whole Ichigo thing. With any luck there'd be hell to pay and they'd bury her face down in shit. People were making noises and asking her stupid questions - I took that opportunity to leave the cafeteria.

Yep, Kurosaki's a Vizard! What the hell's a Vizard, Tatsuki? Oh, it's a half-Hollow!

Look where being indecisive has gotten me! I should have done something weeks ago!

No more. Indecisive no more. It could all turn to shit around me. Gonna require steps.

I went to my room and thought about hanging myself. None too seriously of course, I'm more hang the other guy, if you know what I mean. I thought I had some sort of chance you know. New class, new generation of shinigami, none of who would know anything about - well - you know, I've been over it before. Now everyone knows about that damn mask!

I guess I shouldn't be surprised; the people who print The Substitute aren't actively on my side. You know, I shouldn't be doing this today, I'm boiling mad. Tatsuki-

She's not going to catch me. I'm going to catch her first.

I can't leave her, see? Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually she'd going to spot me. I know her so well, I know how she thinks. Tatsuki doesn't ignore things she doesn't like, she never has, she never will. She took on the guy who'd been peeping into the girls showers back when we were at school, taken on the administration and then gone to the police by herself. The guy had some inside connection somewhere, it caused a hell of an uproar when Tatsuki bypassed the school administration's and had a student arrested. Squad cars came and everything. Tatsuki doesn't care about shaming the school, Tatsuki cares about justice.

She's a hero after all.

If Tatsuki knew I was here she'd have confronted me and everyone who'd ever seen a copy of The Substitute. Ergo she doesn't know I'm here – there is absolutely no way in Hell that Tatsuki knows and is ignoring me. Because Tatsuki isn't like that.

I'm going to get her first.

Tonight. The Hakuda club meets tonight, and Tatsuki jogs at night.

So I waited behind a building until the club let out, then waited some more. She'd be the last to leave, she was hero after all, no man left behind, even if they are just sweeping up.

And there she is now! Pretty Tatsuki, gone jogging under dark of moon alone. No gi for Tatsuki, not when Soi Fon can keep her tricked out in those backless shozoku things. Red and white for Tatsuki; she's a student after all.

Jogging under dark of moon without a care in the world. She can fight, see? Anything up to a Gillian, Tatsuki wouldn't break a sweat - Tatsuki doesn't have anything to fear in the dark-

Hueco Mundo is dark, and I'm half hollow. With my power muffled she can't hear me, she doesn't even know I'm behind her-

In my mind I pushed my Hollow back – this has to be done but I refuse to enjoy the hunt. I refuse to buy his reasoning that this is the natural order, the strong preying on the weak-

Down little Hollow. You know who's king here.

I've been through my diary – I started going off the rails when Tatsuki first showed up. This has to be resolved. For good or evil, this has to be resolved.

We're alone now.

It's time.

I close the distance.

She realizes someone is behind her, stops.

And sees me.

There's no fooling her, white hair or not.

Tatsuki opened her mouth to scream, but I'm way too quick to let that happen.