Secrets
It wasn't normal, he knew. How could he not when he knew about the whispered conversations between his parents while he was supposed to be safely tucked away upstairs deeply within the realms of sleep. So when the talks turned to thoughts of therapy he did as his friends advised and tucked them away from the eyes and ears of those that couldn't see them. He learned to smile convincingly even as he wanted to scream with the injustice of it all while his parents exchanged looks of relief over the departure of his 'imaginary' friends.
At night as he lay curled within the massive lap of the oldest of his friends, he would bite his lip and cry out the feelings of bitterness and frustration that pooled inside of him throughout his deception. A deception that was all too necessary because even if he didn't understand the reasons behind it, his friends did. His friends knew all too well the dangers that awaited him if he didn't learn to smile even as the sour taste of lies tainted his mouth.
But he grew and as he grew, he began to understand all of the reasons that a child's mind couldn't. He had only to look at his best friend to see how eccentricity was treated and knew with a sense of absolute certainty that left a sickening twist in his stomach that his friends had been right.
There are so many ways of telling yourself that you're fine even when you're not. Ways to convince yourself that you won't break even as the cracks become apparent to all those around you. So many words, thoughts and actions that could be used as shields against the all too ugly truth that threatened to break you in a way you'd never thought possible. And yet, no matter how many times it is ignored, pushed away or stuffed into some obscure portion of the mind—it refuses to allow itself to be forgotten. Refusing to fall into the grim depths of insignificance as it forces its way through dozens of barriers and traps meant to keep it contained.
He'd thought he would be fine. Had thought that there would be no problem with his ability to handle the situation he'd found himself in. But as he found himself clutching at the yellowing brittleness of fall grass he laughed mirthlessly, his breath catching in his throat alongside of the hardened lump of emotion forming there.
A/N: I actually found this floating around on my flash drive. Cleaned it up a bit and here you are. Hope you like.