A/N: I've hit a bump in the road, folks. I need inspiration. I need a muse. Damn writer's block. Also, this is the same day as the Cutters sex.

Possible warnings: The usual.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

Reviews:

Alcorion: Ah, it's okay. Thank you for the review and the compliment.

Angelic Guardian: Ah, Dougie/Butters. I had to throw that in there, along with Bradley/Butters. xD Ah, you a pervert? xD I've been reading Harry Potter smut for the last two days, so don't feel bad. Ah, I just don't like chapter eleven. To be honest, it's because originally Eric's fingers were supposed to enter...something...yeah. I didn't mean for it to end like it did. (I forgot about the "I'm seriously" thing, by the way. xD I've been saying it since I read your reply. Well, that and "I'm super cereal.") Also...the thing about Kyle's ass...When you wrote that, I thought of something in S6, and, well...here:

Kyle: "You need to freeze some of your ass off."

Eric: "At least I have an ass, Jew!"

Kyle: "...What?"

Me thinks Kyle's ass isn't so good after all, or at least in Cartman's view...but why the eff was he looking at it? Suspicious~

Anyway, thank both of you for your reviews.

Kyle sighed, tapping his fingers against his computer keyboard. He hadn't been able to sleep, so he had decided to get online. It was late though, so the only people that were awake-he knew Kenny would still be awake by now, but his computer had crappy connection, so he couldn't get online often-were Clyde, who he rarely ever talked to, Bebe, who was probably only up talking to Clyde, and...Cartman.

Kyle hadn't talked to Cartman all day; not one word. Kyle had seen Eric talking to the "new girl" in the morning before classes started. Kyle wasn't stupid though; he wouldn't fall for the trick like everyone else had. Everyone else had stared, gawked, at Butters, not realizing who he really was. They had been talking about how pretty the new girl was all day, along with the fact that someone had seen "her" get in Eric Cartman's car.

Kyle had been pissed off; pissed off with Butters for dressing up as a girl, pissed off at everyone for talking about how attractive he was, pissed off at Cartman for getting into his car with the boy. Surely Cartman wasn't that stupid, right? He wouldn't fall for that, right? Kyle didn't even know why he was getting so pissed off, but the more he thought about it, the angrier he became. It wasn't like he liked Cartman or anything. It wasn't like it shocked him that the boy would get in the car with Marjorine or whatever the hell Butters said his name was this time. The kid probably had a thing for drag.

Kyle continued to tap his fingers against his keyboard. Did he want to talk to Cartman? Yes. Was he brave enough to? He didn't know the answer to that. Bebe and Clyde were probably cybering with each other, so Kyle doubted either one would be talking to Cartman at the moment, and Kyle didn't know of anyone that Cartman had added that he didn't, so the boy was probably going to log off soon without someone to talk to. Kyle had better act soon.

He became visible so his friends would know he was online. He sent the first message.

KyleBroflovski123: Hey Tubby.

There was a pause before he got a reply back. Was Cartman really talking to someone? Was Butters invisible so his parents wouldn't know he was on? Were they talking? Kyle bit his lip; he was jealous.

TheDawg: Hey Jew-boy. What's up? Digging sand out of your vagina?

Kyle was about to tell Cartman that he had seen Butters with him today, but something stopped him from sending the message. It was time to step things up a notch. Butters was dressing to drag and who knows what the fuck Kenny was going to do. Kyle had never seduced anyone, had never got a boyfriend, but he was about to hit on someone he had known for years.

KyleBroflovski123: Maybe. My mom's asleep. Want to come over and help?

There was a long pause again. Cartman was probably sitting in his chair in shock. Maybe his mouth was open.

TheDawg: Are you drunk, Jew?

Kyle sighed. What had he been expecting to happen? Cartman to come over and..what? Do him? Whatever he was doing, it was reckless.

KyleBroflovski123: Forget it, fat-ass. Why are you even up this late anyway?

TheDawg: That, Kyle, is none of your business. If you MUST know though, I'm listening to Clyde tell me about his disgusting details about cybering with Bebe.

KyleBroflovski123: Knew it. Clyde's such a pervert.

TheDawg: He keeps looking at Butters weirdly. I bet he wants to fuck him. Fag.

Kyle had to roll his eyes at the mention of the Stotch boy, but otherwise, he let it go.

KyleBroflovski123: Sometimes I think YOU want to fuck Butters, Cartman.

TheDawg: Maybe I want to fuck YOU, Kyle?

Kyle stopped breathing momentarily when he was the reply. Was Cartman messing with him? He had to be. Still, just in case...

KyleBroflovski123: Then you better start to get the sand out, Cartman. I'm not into all the gross shit I bet Wendy's into.

TheDawg:...Wow, Kyle. Are you sure you're not Kenny? Because you're acting like a perverted piece of shit.

Kyle had to roll his eyes. The question had to be expected though; this wasn't exactly something he'd normally do.

KyleBroflovski123: Yes, Cartman, I'm sure. Here. I'll set up my web camera. Set up your own.

Kyle set up his camera, wanting Cartman to know it was really him sending these messages to him. He wasn't sure why, but he had to let Cartman know it was him being flirtatious, not Kenny.

Cartman set up his own camera and soon they were watching each other. They both were dressed in their pajamas; Kyle's had the Star of David, Cartman's had the Nazi symbol. How the hell had they managed to stay friends all these years?

'The group would feel weird if he wasn't in it..'

TheDawg: Nice pajamas, Jew. Nice hair too.

KyleBroflovski123: Shut up, Nazi.

Kyle ran his fingers through his ginger locks, all the while watching Cartman's smirk.

TheDawg: You really do need to discard of some of that sand, Kyle.

Kyle hesitated before he replied. He had the lights on in his room so he knew the larger boy could see him hesitate, just like he could see the blush tenting Kyle's face. Finally, Kyle sent his reply.

KyleBroflovski123: I don't think I can do it on my own. I think I need some help.

This time he could see Cartman's mouth fall open. The brunet's hair was messed up and even if he had Nazi symbols all over his body, Kyle had to admit that the boy looked good.

TheDawg: Why don't you get your boyfriend Stan to do it?

Kyle's eyebrow twitched; he was getting irritated. He hated when people called Stan that.

KyleBroflovski123: His hands aren't as big as yours, fat-ass. They wouldn't be able to get as much out.

He could see the other boy becoming irritated at the weight comment, but Cartman chose not to say anything.

TheDawg: Why, Kyle. I think you're trying to get me to touch your vagina. Surely you know I'm not attracted to day walkers.

Kyle was about to roll his eyes again but then he realized something-Cartman had said day walkers, not boys.

KyleBroflovski123:...What if I am?

There was another long pause. He could see Cartman just sitting there, staring at the screen. What was he going to say? Make a joke out of it?

TheDawg:...Meet me out by my car tomorrow. Before school starts.

Cartman logged off before Kyle could reply. What was he getting himself into? He guessed he'd find out tomorrow.

A/N: I felt that the Butters was outweighing the Kyman. :/ And Kenric is waaay behind. Oh well. I liked this chapter. I'm pleased with it.