HALF-LIVES

CHAPTER 7

Sheppard woke up again, finally able to keep his eyes open without feeling like his brain was about to explode. The headache was still there, and it was huge, yet manageable. He looked down at his leg, which was bandaged thickly, and had to think for a few moments before he remembered what had happened to it. Lorne; his best soldier had stabbed him in the thigh. He was going to have to chew him out for that one. As Sheppard lay there, wondering how much he was forgetting, or how much he just didn't know, he was alarmed to find that his sick stomach had returned, and he took a few breaths to try and calm it.

The person who'd been sitting beside him heard his change in breathing, and woke from the doze they'd been in.

Sheppard locked eyes with his visitor, and smiled weakly. "Hi."

Teyla smiled back, the bags under her eyes telling him that she'd probably hadn't left his side unless it was to care for her son.

"Hello, John," she replied warmly.

"I…" he began, just as another wave of nausea enveloped him. He leaned over the side of the bed and dry-heaved for what seemed like ages, before he was able to control it and catch his breath. He wasn't sure if he was glad that his gut was empty or not. He almost would've preferred that, for all his trouble, something had come up. Teyla had since gotten up from her chair, and rested her hand on his shoulder as he gagged and choked. When he lay back again, she shot him a sympathetic look.

"Doctor Keller figured the medications she gave you for your pain would not agree with your stomach, but she did not wish you to be in agony."

He nodded, wiping away the tears in his eyes. "Tell her thanks, will ya?"

Teyla smiled at his attempt at humor, as the subject of their conversation stepped through the curtain and smiled down at him.

"Thanks for what?" she asked, and he shrugged one shoulder.

"For taking my gut on a rollercoaster ride."

Jennifer's grin widened. At least his spirit was coming back. "Sorry, Colonel. But it was either that, or let you keep thrashing around while I tried to stitch your leg back up."

He glanced at Teyla, who nodded in agreement, then let out a sigh as Jennifer continued. "Anyway, with any luck – and if you behave – you should be out of here within a week. But then comes therapy for that leg of yours."

His eyebrow twitched at the look on her face, and he managed his boyish grin. "You been starin' at my legs, Doc?"

Playing along, she tapped him lightly on the shoulder and replied, "I've seen a whole lot more of you than just your legs, Sheppard."

"As have I," Teyla added, scooting her chair closer to his bed.

Amused, he settled against his pillows, folding his hands behind his head. "Any chance I could get you two to fight over me?"

The women exchanged glances, then looked back to him. "Sorry," Jennifer replied with a half-frown. "I've got someone else in mind."

"Ooh, it's like General Hospital in here," Sheppard quipped, gazing at her intently. "Care to gossip a little?"

Keller just laughed. "You should get some rest, Colonel."

Although his eyelids drooped, he shook his head. "I'll be fine."

"If you want, I can go get some of those sedatives you love so much." His stomach lurched at even the mention of pain meds, and she nodded, noting his reaction. "Okay, then. I'll be back in a few to check on you." She turned to Teyla. "Just a few more minutes, okay?"

"Of course, Doctor," she replied, tossing her bronze hair over her shoulder.

When Keller had gone, Sheppard reached out and placed his hand over hers. "Thank you," he murmured.

"For what?"

"Being here. You look horrible, by the way," he finished with a smirk.

She grinned at the jab, then replied, "You would do the same for me. And," she added with a lift of her eyebrow, "you do not look very well, either."

He turned serious, a shadow clouding his green eyes, and he squeezed her hand gently. "I kept my promise."

She nodded, clearly seeing the fatigue that furrowed his brow, and she leaned down close to him. "You did. Now, do as Doctor Keller has said, and rest."

He was about to reply, when the familiar seasick feeling suddenly returned. Teyla understood the look he gave her and untangled her hand from his, in case he should need to use it. When his expression told her the feeling had passed, she leaned down again, her hair gently tickling his face and neck, and pressed her soft lips to his stubbled cheek.

His eyes closed involuntarily, his nostrils breathing in her flowery scent, and he silently cursed his injuries. He should be playing with her and Torren, not laying here, feeling like a helpless waste of skin.

"Sleep well, John," she whispered, and though Sheppard reached for her, trying to draw her back to him, she deftly avoided his grasp. With a last smile to him, she turned and left the infirmary, and he could do nothing but lay back and try to sleep. He snorted. As if. He didn't even feel tired.

Despite his claims, however, his eyes began to burn, and he finally closed them, intending to only rest them for a few moments, not the solid two hours he actually slept.

Teyla and Ronon were sitting in the mess hall, feeding Torren and talking quietly.

"So," Ronon said before he took a bite of his green apple, "Have you seen Sheppard today?"

Teyla shook her head, a guilty look crossing her sun-bronzed face. "I have not had the chance, yet. Have you?"

Ronon shrugged. "Keller kicked me out yesterday, before I could take a step in. Something about Sheppard not being in any shape for visitors right then."

"Yes," Teyla muttered to him as she began to burp her son. "The pain medication is still not sitting well with his stomach. He tries to refuse it for as long as possible, but as soon as he begins to feel his injuries, he becomes desperate for relief."

Ronon's jaw clenched at her description of Sheppard's pain. It made him feel helpless to care for his friend, and that was a feeling Ronon could well do without. Before she could sense what he was thinking, however, he shrugged again.

"I'm gonna go see him in a while. You can come along, if you want."

She shook her head sadly. "I would love to, but there is no one to care for Torren…"

He held up a hand to stop her, and smiled. "So bring him." She seemed puzzled at this, and he explained, "I'm sure Sheppard would love to see the little guy. Might just cheer him up, give him some strength back."

Teyla considered it for a moment, before slowly nodding. Even if Sheppard was in no shape to see Torren – or TJ, as he affectionately called him – perhaps Doctor Keller could keep an eye on the baby for a few minutes as she visited him.

"All right," she said, "call me when you are ready to go."

"Yep," he replied, then leaned down to wrap his arm loosely around her shoulder in a hug, one that wouldn't squish the baby, before making his way across the mess hall in what seemed like five giant strides. He passed by Sam Carter on the way out, giving her a nod that she smilingly returned, and which stayed on her face until she reached Teyla's table.

"Can I join you two?" Sam asked her as she gazed down lovingly at Torren, and Teyla smiled and nodded. Sam slid into the chair Ronon had since vacated, and folded her hands on the table's cold surface. "In all the chaos, we never had a chance to debrief."

Teyla nodded hesitantly, trying to gauge Carter's mood, and was surprised when Carter leaned forward amicably and continued, "Under the circumstances, and to make our meetings more comfortable for everyone, I decided I'd just catch you all somewhere you felt at ease."

"That is kind of you, Colonel Carter," Teyla replied, her dark eyes focused on her superior. "I suppose you have been informed of our plan to trap the beings in Herrick's device?"

Carter nodded.

Teyla took a deep breath and went on. "Colonel Sheppard used himself as bait to lure them to it. Just before he reached the bay it was held in, he was surprised by Major Lorne, who had been taken over by one of the beings, and the Colonel was injured in the struggle. However, he managed to turn the device on, and they both escaped, sealing the door and blowing the hatch to send it into space. It was then that the Colonel collapsed from his injuries."

"I stopped by to see him earlier," Sam said, "and Major Lorne as well. He feels just horrible about what happened. I assured him that it wasn't his fault, but he doesn't seem ready to accept that."

Teyla nodded once. "It is hard to know that you have unintentionally injured someone, especially a friend and colleague."

"Oh, of course," Sam said, just as her radio clicked.

"Colonel Carter, please come to the control room."

Carter sighed and told Teyla, "It never ends."

Teyla merely smiled in understanding. A leader's job was never finished.

"I'm on my way," Sam replied, then switched off her radio. She stood up from her chair, stealing a moment to stroke the dark hair on Torren's head.

She turned again to Teyla. "If you see the Colonel today, tell him he's in my thoughts, and I hope he feels better."

"I will," Teyla replied.

When Carter had left the mess hall, Teyla peered down at her son, who was contentedly glancing up at the ceiling, his dark eyes wide and bright. She smiled at first, delighting in the fact that she was his mother. Then, she saw his resemblance to his father, and her smile faded. She missed Kanaan, and was more saddened by the fact that he would not see his son grow up. A part of her was angry at the circumstances of his death, that they weren't able to save him. And, if she was honest, she was still a little angry at Sheppard. She knew it wasn't his fault, but she still wondered if a part of him was glad that Kanaan was gone. He'd said that his distrust of Kanaan had ended when he'd helped them escape, but she knew Sheppard better than that. He was always vigilant about any danger to his team, and to Atlantis. In his eyes, anyone who had worked with the enemy – especially the Wraith – could never be fully trusted. She supposed that if she were not so close to the situation, she could see his point, but her relationship with Kanaan kept her from fully accepting it.

With a sigh, Teyla finally stood up, pushed the chair in with her hip, and left the mess hall with Torren cooing happily in her arms.

Teyla and Ronon both heard Sheppard's voice protesting from where they were, at the opposite end of the hall from the infirmary.

"I don't need a damned wheelchair! I'm not a cripple!"

Ronon shot Teyla an amused glance. Their friend finally seemed to be completely back to his normal self.

As they entered the infirmary, Sheppard sent them both a hopeful glance and said, "Will you please tell the Doc here that I can walk out of here just fine?"

Doctor Jennifer Keller was scowling at him, her eyes narrowed until they were little more than slits. "And will you remind the Colonel here, that he has a deep, penetrating leg wound, and if he walks on it, he could rip the stitches?"

Ronon looked from the doctor to his friend, and then back again, before shrugging. "Whatever. I'm not getting into this."

Teyla also glanced at one, then the other, and frowned at Sheppard. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she said, "Perhaps there is another way, besides a…wheelchair?"

Jennifer thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "We could give him crutches. But the stairs are gonna be a problem."

Sheppard looked at her incredulously. "And how did you think I was gonna negotiate stairs in a wheelchair?!"

She just shrugged at him, frustrating him further. He'd been in the infirmary for a little over a week, and he was sick of staring at the walls. All he wanted was to get out of this all-too-familiar room, to climb into his bed and get some real, non-medication-induced sleep. So far, no one had been all too helpful with that, and it was beginning to really piss him off.

Sensing his anger, Teyla squeezed his arm in a silent warning, and turned to Jennifer. "He will take the crutches."

"Okay," Jennifer replied, then stepped away to retrieve the crutches.

When she had gone, Sheppard blew out a breath and slowly rubbed his hand through his hair, careful not to press too hard on his pounding head.

"Thanks, Teyla."

She shook her head slightly. "Do not thank me yet. If you misbehave, I will get Colonel Carter to order you into the wheelchair."

He looked over at her. "You wouldn't."

She simply cocked an eyebrow at him and replied, "Try me."

He considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "Never mind."

"Good choice, Sheppard," Ronon put in, a small smile on his lips.

"Okay," Keller said as she re-entered the main room with a pair of crutches in her hands. "I'm sure I don't have to explain how to use these to you, Colonel."

"Nope."

"Good. Then use them, all the time."

He rolled his eyes. "Aww, come on. What if I just have to go to the…"

She jabbed her finger at his chest. "All the time, or we default to the chair."

He pouted. "Fine."

Keller smiled. "Come back here in a few days and let me check the stitches, and we'll go from there."

Sheppard was about to say something else, but Teyla stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Thank you for everything, Doctor Keller," she said, giving Sheppard her "be quiet and behave" look, and he shrugged slightly.

Jennifer nodded. "It's my job. But you're welcome. Just make sure he behaves."

"We have already discussed it. He will be fine."

Jennifer moved off to care for another patient then, and Sheppard slid the crutches under his arms. He swung off the bed, testing their height. Satisfied, he started off toward the door, and Teyla and Ronon walked on either side of him.

"Would you like to go get something to eat?" Teyla asked him as they continued down the hall.

He shook his head. "My stomach's still not right after the Doc's drugs. I think I'm gonna just go to my room and get some sleep."

"Sounds good to me, too," Ronon agreed.

They walked with Sheppard to his quarters, and he was glad that it was so late at night; not many people were out in the halls, which meant that there was no one to see him like this. Broken ribs he could deal with, even a major concussion – but looking basically like a cripple was something he would never get used to. Showing any physical weakness was unacceptable in his eyes, and he supposed that was something his father had instilled in him, in addition to his feelings - oh, irony, Sheppard thought - on emotional weakness.

When they reached his door, he waved his hand over the controls, and limped inside. Ronon and Teyla followed him in, to make sure he got settled okay.

"Thanks for this, guys," Sheppard said as he plunked himself down on his bed, on top of the covers.

"No problem," Ronon shrugged, and Teyla smiled in agreement.

"We are glad to help," she said as she took the crutches from Sheppard and propped them against the nearby chair. "If you need anything, call us."

"You got it," he replied with a nod.

"Good night, man," Ronon said then, extending his fist, which Sheppard tapped with his own. He'd taught Ronon how to "fist-bump" a few days ago, when he'd been feeling extremely bored and claustrophobic inside his little curtain in the infirmary.

As Ronon straightened up to leave, he shot Sheppard a look, then inclined his head slightly toward Teyla. Sheppard nodded in return. Satisfied that Sheppard was now comfortable, Ronon nodded to Teyla and left the room.

"I bet he's just itching for me to get better so he can kick my ass in the gym again," Sheppard chuckled.

Teyla grinned. "As am I. But I am a bit more patient than Ronon. I can wait for as long as I must."

"Somehow, I don't think sparring with you two is what Keller would consider 'rehab'."

"I would say not."

His smile faded then, and he gestured for her to sit down. She lowered herself onto the edge of his tiny bed, so that she was facing him, and waited for him to speak.

"Listen, Teyla," he began, his green eyes searching her face, "I know you didn't want me to do what I did, but I had no choice."

"I understand," she replied, but he held up a hand.

"Wait. Don't say anything yet. I've been trying to figure out how to say this for a while now, and if you interrupt me, I'll forget."

She nodded, but kept silent.

"Look, I'm sorry about Kanaan. I really am. And I'm sorry that I went all 'Die Hard' out there a few weeks ago and busted myself up all to hell." Then, he corrected himself, "Well, actually, that was Lorne. But that's not the point. I just…I had to protect the city."

He took her hand in his, and she cocked her head at him, wondering where all this had suddenly come from. That wasn't to say she didn't enjoy it, though.

"I had to protect you. And Torren."

"Because you promised Kanaan?"

"No," he said quickly. "Well, yes. But not just because of that. The truth is, I…"

She waited for him to continue, and as his pause drew out, she wondered if he would continue at all.

Then, he reached up with his other hand, and touched her face, his fingers lightly trailing down her soft skin. "Teyla, I love you."

"John?" She asked, unsure if he was still under the effects of the medication he was on. She knew from experience that he sometimes went what he would call "loopy" when he was on certain pain medications.

His hand moved from her face then, to grip her shoulder lightly. She could feel him pulling her down toward him, and she surrendered to the gentle pressure on her arms. She leaned down until her face was less than two inches from his.

"I love you," he said again, and she saw in his eyes that he was completely lucid, and that he was telling the truth.

"I love you, too," she whispered, and gently pressed her lips against his. She felt his hands slide up into her hair, his fingers twining with the golden-brown strands, heard his breath catch in his throat as she kissed him.

Sheppard closed his eyes, letting his head fill with Teyla's intoxicating scent, not wanting to ever let her go. He pulled her even closer, so that she had to stretch out alongside him to be comfortable, and felt her hand slowly drift along his lower jaw, rubbing against the growing stubble there.

He smiled involuntarily, and when she pulled away, he rasped, "Tickles."

"I am sorry," she said, but he shook his head and kissed her mouth again to silence her.

"Don't be."

Teyla sat up on one elbow then, and stared down into his eyes. "I really should get back to Torren."

Sheppard nodded, even though his mind was screaming for him to stop her, to keep her there. That wouldn't be fair, he told himself. She has a child who needs her more than I do.

"Okay," he said, trying to hide his disappointment. She pushed herself up off his bed, then leaned down and ran her hand gently through his perpetually-messy hair.

"Get some rest."

He nodded. "I will. Scout's honor," he said, holding up two fingers.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I thought it was three fingers, John."

He grinned and shrugged. "Yeah, well…"

"Good night, John."

"Good night, Teyla."

As soon as the door had closed after her, he fell into a happy, dreamless sleep.

TBC...

Notes: YAY! They finally admitted it! Seriously, though...I hope this chapter was good. Let me know (you know, the R&R thing again)...or just say HI. Not sure how many more chapters are gonna be in here...it depends on how many more dreams/ideas I get, I suppose, as well as how much Sheppard bugs me...LOL! Anyway, ENJOY!!

PS...Had to edit this chap. due to some continuity problems...just a tiny little thing no one would probably notice but me. LOL