Authors Note :: Ok no prologue here just the first chapter. Leave me a review once you've read it so I know if you want to read more!


Chapter 1 :: Nothing I could do

POV :: Bella

He was dead and there was nothing I could do.

I sat there my arms wrapped tight around his now cold body, the arms that had warmed and protected me through the too few years were scratched and bruised, but that didn't matter because what scared me was that they were cold and lifeless. They'd never hold me or our daughter again. His lips which had always been twisted into a bright smile were blue. He'd never kiss Alyssa good night, kiss away her booboo's or my worry lines, they'd never kiss me in a way that made me fall for him every time again. The tears stained my face, running down my cheeks leaving wet trails through the mud there and dripped onto his bloody chest. More like what had used to be his chest, it was now a ripped open ruin of what it had once been, shreds of the muscle there and bone…organs…all but the heart that had held me together.

Werewolves, they couldn't die easily but like anything else if you rip out their heart they can't just heal and keep going. Watching that happen to him I felt it, felt my own heart ripped from my chest as his was and felt my world come to an abrupt halt. His eyes had met mine for just that brief second before they'd become dull as his body fell to the ground lifeless. I felt numb, falling to my own knees as he had and I heard something, it sounded like screaming, but I didn't know where it was coming from, it may have been me. Then another sound, laughter followed by many howls that shook the ground around me, no that shaking was from the massive paws thundering my direction. The pack was here.

I didn't see the surprise in the eyes of the vampire at the number of wolves that appeared around him, didn't see or hear them rip him to pieces and didn't see them set fire to the remains. All I saw were the lifeless eyes that had once looked at me with such love and hope for the future. The eyes my daughter shared with her father among other traits. Someone was trying to pick me up, move me away from the gruesome sight in front of me but I hadn't let them accomplish their goal. I'd pulled away and run not from the bloody remains of an amazing man but to them, taking him into my arms as my body shook with the sobs escaping me. That was how I still sat now, and that was because I just couldn't let go. Letting go meant…meant it was real…holding tight I could fool myself into thinking maybe this was a dream. If I stayed here with him safely in my arms I could wake up from this nightmare and he'd be there to hold me and tell me everything would be ok.

I'd had plenty of nightmares before, many of them involved death and pain…but none had been this vivid, this real. This wasn't a nightmare, it was reality I was awake and I was coming apart at the seams because the glue that held me together was gone. How could I ever be ok again? What would I tell our daughter when she asked where daddy was? When he was coming home? Could we go see him? Any of those questions would surely break me to have to answer, and would break her if she got the truthful answer. She was a daddy's girl, she had him wrapped around her little fingers and he'd always been the first to admit to her owning his tail. He'd laughed as he'd said that the last time, two days ago. He'd laughed and then he'd gone running when she'd called for him waking from a nightmare of her own. Oh god who'd be there for her when she woke from nightmares? He was always the one who'd been right at her side waking from a dead sleep at her slightest sniffle and holding her close till she fell asleep again.

Someone was trying to get my attention, I just couldn't focus because there was a buzzing sound now in my head that just kept getting louder as things got darker. "Bella. Bella? Come on…We need to get out of here we need to take you back to the reservation ok? We need you to let go of him so we can take him back too. Please Bella come on." The voice was soft and gentle but strong and full of authority. It had to be Sam and he was wrong, we couldn't go anywhere. This wasn't right, this wasn't how tonight was supposed to go, how it was supposed to end. Tonight had been perfect, he'd asked me to officially be his wife, we'd talked about it before with Aly's birth but we'd both been too young then, we needed to grow and establish ourselves and our lives before we could get married. I'd known before we left the house that he'd ask, tonight wasn't an anniversary or even really any special day that I could remember. Tonight's date was something he asked about saying he found a new spot in the forest he wanted to show me and thought it might be a good opportunity to go on a date since we'd not been on one in a month or so. I'd agreed and through talking with the girls we'd come to the thought that tonight was the night he'd ask. I had been so nervous while getting ready because I was trying not to get my hopes up just in case I'd thought too much of this…I'd been right and now everything was wrong.

I felt my arms go limp first, giving up their tight hold on his body and falling to the sides as the rest of me followed suit. I was as lifeless as he was now, and I felt myself being lifted up from the ground, his body lifted away from me as his Pack-Brother's took him home. La Push, it wasn't even a half-hours hike from where we currently were. I faded in and out of consciousness for most of the walk home, woke to the sound of my father's voice asking what was wrong as I was brought to his door. The home of him and his new wife Sue, I was happy for the two of them having each other to love and take care of. Her voice followed him giving soft directions to my room as another voice explained to my father what was wrong with me, his death. Charlie had been told about the Pack nearly three years ago, he'd learned the horrors that were really out there because of his accidentally seeing Jake phase in our back yard. He understood now why I'd acted how I had sometimes, and had forgiven me for my lies knowing I couldn't have just told him no matter how badly I wanted to. The last I heard were the soft words from a familiar voice, though currently the name escaped me. They seemed so final and cruel to hear that tears slipped from my eyes. "Jacob was attacked, vampire, he didn't make it but Bella's unharmed aside from…she saw it Charlie. She saw him die."

My world went black, and stayed that way.

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