Thanks for the reviews! Because of them, I'll update even faster than usual. :D And by the way, Bella arrives at Forks on Sunday, but she attends school on Monday because she doesn't want to stay at home bored. Typical Bella. Each chapter will progress this way: Edward POV, Bella POV, Edward POV, Bella POV, and so on and so forth, and each two chapters will be the same day. So the previous two chapters are both on Sunday, and this chapter and the one after will be on Monday, but not necessarily the same time. I'll see.

And to CourtneyHale, I'm so happy someone finally noticed that!! I'm trying to make both POVs sound different, and I'm trying to get Edward to sound more boyish and player-ish the way I imagine he would think, and I'm writing Bella as…well, Bella. Falling down and looking gorgeously groomed without even knowing it. So do tell me if I'm not writing properly!

My Bizarre Family

Edward

Before long it was Monday and Alice, the adorable, chipper pixie she was, was jumping on my bed in a futile attempt to wake me up. Only one thing and one thing only could wake me up-the smell of food cooking. Usually Esme's French toast would do, but today she was frying up eggs with gooey cheese and little crispy turkey bacon bits, so I woke up even before Alice could enter my room. Honestly, I could never see what Jasper saw in her. She was too bouncy for her own good. Though she was a great sister.

I took a quick shower and dressed in five minutes, and plodded downstairs only to be chased up again by a furious Alice, screaming at me about proper attire. Jeez, I was wearing a perfectly decent tee and jeans! What was wrong with that girl?

See, that was why I refused to have a long-term relationship. Girls, especially Alice and Rosalie, were waay too fussy about their clothes. I never managed to understand it, and I didn't pretend to.

Alice was an unstoppable force of nature, though. She managed to get me dressed in a grey V-neck and khaki pants. At least she allowed me to wear my Converses. Somehow I only thought that she allowed the shoes because it was the only item in my wardrobe with an iota of fashion.

"Wow, Esme, I love you," I yawned, sliding into one of the chairs. Esme set a steaming plate of eggs in front of me, smiling. I felt a pain stab through my heart. How could I have thought she didn't love me the way Mom did? How stupid could I be?

"Aw, sweetie, thanks. You have to hurry up though, else you'll be late. We all got up slightly later than usual today," Esme said, winking at me. I laughed, digging into the eggs, sending more steam curling up.

Alice skipped into the kitchen. Of course, she was fully dressed and perfectly coiffed. She grabbed a plate of eggs and sat down next to me. She had the appetite of Emmett and Jasper put together, and yet she still managed to maintain her tiny figure. Jasper said it was high metabolism. I think it's all that nervous energy.

Jasper came in right behind her, the way he always was. He leaned against the counter. He never ate on mornings. It was a strange habit of his. He only ate at lunch. Esme was trying to discourage him, but so far her attempts were in vain. I had the feeling she would never be able to convince Jasper to start eating breakfasts.

Emmett came in next, yawning hugely and ruffling his hair, which fell into place immediately. I envied his hair. It always fell flat. Superglue couldn't keep my hair down.

"Where's Rose?" Esme asked, frowning. Strange. Usually Rosalie was the first down. Emmett was always the last. Trying to get Emmett to wake up any time before seven was like trying to wake the dead.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming!" Rosalie shouted from the stairs. Carlisle yelled at her from his study. He despised people screaming in his house. He said it sounded like we were hooligans. We never pointed out to him he screamed in the house more than we did.

Rose sauntered into the kitchen. Alice gasped. Jasper froze. Emmett's eyes bugged open. And Esme screamed.

"Rosalie Hale Cullen! What on earth are you wearing?!" Esme shrieked, her hands flying to her mouth. I started laughing. Talk about a madhouse. This place was like a Macy's with a huge SALE sign. Utter madness.

Of course, like women rushing into shops and causing stampedes, sometimes I never really understood what was going on.

"Rosalie! That outfit is…is…" Esme was spluttering now, at a loss for words.

"Scandalous? Racy? Completely insane?" I suggested. Emmett shot a death glare at me. Obviously he would think it was hot, but jeez, this was my sister's boyfriend's sister! Which made her my sister-in-law-to-be. If I said she looked drop dead gorgeous, which she did, that would make me almost incestuous.

"I think it's hot," Alice quipped. Now, see, that was plain scary.

"Rosalie! Go and change into something more…more appropriate! You are going to school, not to pick up guys!" Esme ordered.

Emmett smacked his fist into one hand. "I'll deck any guy who tried," he said ominously.

"Emmett, Rosalie's picking up guys, not the other way around," Jasper pointed out. Emmett aimed a very accurate kick Down Under. Jasper winced. "And that was completely unnecessary," he squeaked. Alice ignored them. Filial girlfriend, I had to say.

"But Esme, I have to get dressed up!" Rosalie protested.

"Dressed up for what? Hook up night?" Esme demanded. Rosalie grimaced.

"No…" she said slowly. "The new kid at school. We don't know if it's a he or she…yet."

Esme turned and started hitting her head on the cupboard. After two repetitions she mumbled, "Dear God," and turned. "Rosalie, the new kid is a girl. She's Charlie Swan's daughter, and if you go to school like that, you might convince her to move back home."

"Or turn her lesbian, whichever comes first," Alice added brightly. I threw a glance at her. She was really scaring me with the words popping out of her mouth. Since when did my baby sister have this side to her?

Esme glared at Alice. "Eat," she warned dangerously. Alice grabbed her fork. I put my plate in the sink and washed it. Our dishwasher got spoiled about a week ago and Esme hadn't had the time to shop for a new one. Though Alice would gladly do it for her. Knowing her, though, she would probably get a five thousand-dollar one with crystals and Gucci stamped on it.

"Darn," Rosalie muttered. "It would've been good to see Emmett pound his face." Then she brightened up. "But Mr Womanizer over here can do his magic and I get to see Emmett pound Edward's face!"

"Encouraging, Rosalie," I said to her. "What a nice way to praise your brother." Rosalie stuck out her tongue at me.

"Fine. I'll go change," Rosalie mumbled, stomping upstairs. The stairs made a strange sound. I couldn't say creak, because marble didn't creak, but it sure sounded something like it. Her heels were going to snap, and good riddance to bad rubbish. Heels, like shopping, were beyond my forte.

I turned to leave as everyone filed out, but Esme called me back. "Edward?" she asked, almost…tentatively. I turned and looked at her expectantly.

"Yeah?"

She bit her lip. "I hate to have to say this, but…I know your ways with girls, and I should tell you, this new girl will be fairly good-looking. I've seen her picture, and I know you'll be attracted to her. Hell, what decent boy wouldn't be attracted to her?"

I was getting antsy. I could hear Rosalie come back down and I wanted a ride in her M3. It was better than riding in Emmett's Jeep. My car was under repair. The stupid engine decided to give way while I was swerving to avoid some stray pedestrian.

"What are you trying to say, Esme?" I asked.

Esme inhaled. "What I'm saying is, don't try anything with this girl. She's not someone you should mess with. If you try anything, I'm sure not only her but you will get hurt. Edward, I don't want this to go in one ear and out the other. Listen to me. Do not do anything stupid with her. She is not just another girl. Do you hear me?"

I nodded, shifting my weight. "Right. Don't play with her. Charlie would probably go after me with a shotgun anyway," I said. "That all?"

Esme nodded and I dashed out of the kitchen. I slid into Rosalie's car while it was moving. Jasper and Alice were already driving in the Jeep. Jasper adored that car.

"Nice of you to wait," I grumbled. Emmett was sitting behind. He grinned at me.

"Why, you have legs, don't you?" he put on a faux accent. "Or did you forget to use them?"

"Very funny, Emmett," I said, rolling my eyes. Emmett was so childish.

"Anyway, what did Esme want?" he asked curiously. I paused.

"Huh. I can't remember," I admitted, searching through my mind. All I remembered was that I had wanted to get out of there so that I could hitch a ride with Rose. Huh. My memory was going. I needed to see a doctor, ASAP.

"Getting old already, Eddie?" Emmett teased. I ignored him, looking out instead as Rosalie drove to school. The scenery flashed by quickly. I was still trying to remember what Esme had said. I sighed. Impatience did a lot to one's memory.

School was going to be boring. I wanted to see that girl. Who knows, she could well be my next conquest.

Well, that goes to show Edward's memory! His disability to remember while feeling impatient will come into play later in the story, so don't forget! And next chapter will be our own Bells! Picture of Rosalie's…uh, scandalous outfit is on my profile. Cheers.