Chapter Four: The Morning After. Going Home...and Telling The Truth?

Morgan's eyes opened slowly as he felt a weight on him move slightly and then stop. He looked down and realised it was Reid; the younger man's head was on the top of his chest tucked under his chin and his right arm was laid across his stomach. Morgan's hand, he noticed, was tangled in Reid's brown mess of hair. He sighed and smiled contently...he could get used to this, waking up every morning with Reid sprawled across his chest. His smile faded; he knew that wasn't possible...he and Reid had sat and talked after they had...well, finished what they had done.

He had told Reid he loved him while they were having sex, and after when he was about to apologise to his friend...he was the one who said sorry. They had then stayed up for hours talking...Reid had said sorry for not realising how Morgan felt, Morgan had then just called him an idiot and that he was good at hiding his feelings...Reid wasn't ever supposed to know. A while later Reid had told Morgan that what had just happened couldn't happen again, he said it wasn't because he didn't enjoy it because he had...but his feelings for Morgan weren't as strong as Morgan's were for him and he couldn't hurt him like that. Morgan remembered he had just smirked at first; that was so like Reid he had thought, he had then agreed with what Reid had said.

After a few more hours of talking, Morgan asked the question that was on both their minds: Are you going to tell L?

Morgan didn't really want to ask but he needed to know the answer. He found himself actually liking L after he found out how much he cared for his friend...and was glad Reid was happy with him, but if he was going to tell L, he thought it would be better if he knew, just in-case the dark-haired man showed up at his place angry with a gun or a knife...which his look-a-like had preferred. Reid had stayed quiet for a while after that and when he did finally answer he just shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't know.

He had then told Morgan he was tired and maybe he should leave. That was the last thing Morgan wanted...he had grabbed and wrapped his arms around Reid, he laid down and pulled Reid with him. He said he didn't have to leave; it was way too late to go out now anyway...he then said things weren't allowed to be weird between them because of what they'd done, that he didn't want things to change between them. Reid had nodded in agreement and they both eventually fell asleep.

Morgan was snapped out of his memories of last night when he felt Reid's mouth open on his chest as the younger man yawned himself awake. He watched as Reid rolled over onto his back; his arm still in Reid's hair and Reid's arm still across his stomach. He saw Reid's eyes open slowly and he watched him stare up at the ceiling trying to remember where he was. A short moment later he seemed to remember what had happened.

"M-Morgan?" Reid asked, in a sleepy and slow voice.

"Yeah?" Morgan asked, unlike Reid's voice his voice was wide awake just like he was.

"...I think I...might be squashing your hand..."

Morgan smiled and laughed lightly. "Yeah, maybe you are a little."

Reid smiled lightly and lifted his head off of Morgan's hand. He squeezed his eyes shut tight for a moment before opening them again, his forehead creased with a frown.

"What's wrong, kid?" Morgan asked, pushing himself up to look down at Reid.

"I...I have a headache."

Morgan grinned and laid back down. "I not surprised, you drank quite a bit last night...although I have to admit you didn't really seem that drunk. But anyway, be glad it's Saturday, no work today."

"Yeah." Reid said quietly. If it was Saturday, that meant he would have to spend all day and tomorrow at home with L, unless he had cases to work on. He had no idea what he was going to tell L, he didn't know if he should tell him the truth about what had happened between him and Morgan or say he was at Morgan's place working on case files they hadn't finished...or just lie to him completely. He really didn't know what to do.

-Beep- -Beep- -Beep-

They both sat up not knowing whose phone it was that was going off. Reid grabbed his phone out of his trouser pocket –which were lying on the floor by the bed. "It's mine." He said to Morgan before flipping it open. "Hello..."

"Spencer, where are you? I have been phoning you all night!" L said down the phone, his voice was low but full of worry and concern.

Reid froze. He didn't deserve L's worry and concern...he had just cheated on him.

"Spencer?"

"Yeah, erm..." Reid started. He scratched at the back of his head before using his hand to cover his eyes. "I-I, err, I'm at Morgan's...we'd missed out a load of reports for some cases we did a while ago and we couldn't stay at the offices to finish them off, so..."

"Let me guess...he was the one who suggested you go back to his place, right?" L asked with a hint of humour in his voice.

Reid laughed lightly...and he knew it sounded forced, but it was. "Y-yeah, i-it was..."

"Spence, are you all right? Did something happen, you do not sound well..."

Reid rubbed at his eyes. "N-no, I-I'm fine, I just have an h-headache..."

"Right. You should get Morgan to take you to a chemist, get some painkillers."

"N-no, I'm okay, r-really. I'll be back soon..." He said and hung up before L had the chance to say another word. Things were silent in Morgan's room for a while.

"That was L, right?" Morgan asked from the other side of the bed. Reid nodded. "You want me to take you home?"

Reid nodded again. "I-I-If you don't mind..." He said quietly. He could hear Morgan moving about, and then the rustling of cloths. He looked up as he felt Morgan's hand ruffling his hair.

Morgan grinned down at him. "Course not. Hurry up and get dressed, we'll get breakfast on the way...I'm starving." He said as he left the bedroom.

Reid sat on the bed and just stared at the bedroom door. He couldn't believe what had happened. He couldn't believe he was sat on his friend and work colleague's bed in nothing but his boxers. He couldn't believe what he had done...to L and to Morgan. He had hurt the two people who were always there for him no matter what, who he cared about most...it didn't matter that he had done it unintentionally, he had still hurt them and one of them didn't even know yet.

******

Reid shut his apartment door behind him and hung his coat up and kicked his shoes off. He stared down at the floor; trying not to think about what he had done with Morgan, about what he was going to tell L, about how he was supposed to hide the marks on his hips that were from Morgan's fingers and the mark on his neck from his mouth.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked to see L standing beside him, his hand holding his arm gently. "Are you alright? You look very pale." L told him.

"I-I'm fine." Reid answered quietly.

L frowned, concerned. "Maybe you should lie down."

Reid nodded. "S-sure." He had been staring into L's eyes blankly, but he could feel tears prickling at his eyelids. He quickly looked away; he couldn't let L see him cry.

"Spencer, are you sure you are alright?" L asked, pulling on Reid's chin to make him look back up at him. His concerned frown deepened as he saw the tears in Reid's eyes. "Tell me what is wrong." He said softly.

"I-I...I..." He bit his bottom lip and then smiled slowly and small. "I just have a really b-bad headache, I-I'm okay, r-really." He couldn't describe how bad it felt to actually stand and lie to L's face...how disgusted he felt with himself. "I-I think I sh-should go lie down." Spencer started to make his way towards their shared bedroom, but he stopped and turned to look at L. "I love you..." He said quietly and turned towards the bedroom again.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No!" Reid said quickly and loudly. He turned to look at L and cringed inwardly as he saw the shocked look on his partners face. "No, I-I err, think I should just...I mean-..." He looked down to the floor and then back up to L, he smiled apologetically before turning and walking into the bedroom. He shut the door behind him and pressed his back to it. He stayed like that for a moment, before sliding down it to the floor and letting the tears spill from his eyes.

******

L opened the bedroom door quietly and then shut it behind him just as quietly. He walked over to the bed and looked down at the sleeping form huddled at the edge of the big bed. He frowned; Reid didn't stay at one side of the bed, he stretched out as much as he possibly could. His frown deepened when he realised Reid was wearing his shirt and trousers that he had had on when he came in a few hours ago.

He shook Reid's shoulder lightly...but the younger man stirred immediately. His eyes opened slowly though. L looked down at him and watched as he pulled his shirt's collar closer to his neck and sat up slowly.

"L? W-what's wrong?" Reid asked drowsily.

"You have been in here for almost four hours now; it is two in the afternoon...are you hungry?" L asked, watching Reid closely.

Reid looked away from L's gaze and down to the floor. "N-no. Thank-you. I think I-I'll just sleep some more..."

"You are going to sleep all day? That is not like you." L stated.

"I told you, I have an h-headache." Reid mumbled quietly. He laid back down and turned over onto his side, facing away from L as he curled up in on himself.

"Spencer...I think-..." L started but was cut short by Reid.

"Please, shut the door on your way out." A few moments later he could hear L's feet shuffling across the carpeted floor...then they stopped.

"What I do not understand is...if something is bothering you –if I have done something wrong- why would you not tell me?" L asked and Reid was surprised to find that the older man didn't wait for an answer before leaving and closing the door behind him.

He quickly shut his eyes and begged for a long dreamless sleep.

******

(The next day)

Reid was sitting in the darkness on his own...he had been here before, but he couldn't place the when or the why. He sat and stared into the blackness waiting for something...someone...to come to come to him, he didn't know who he was waiting for, but he was waiting and he was scared. Scared of who was coming.

He didn't know how long he had been waiting but now there was someone in front of him, someone who looked like the one he loved...but it wasn't him. This man was someone completely different.

"First, you don't choose me...you choose him instead and then...you betray him by fucking your best friend...you really are something else, Spencer." The man's voice said, his tone was dark but had a hint of amusement to it.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Reid said and he was surprised at how confident his voice sounded even to him.

"Tch. You can't lie to me, Spencer. I know everything you do. You weren't even drunk when you let that man stick himself in you. How could you do that, to him, to me?" The man practically snarled.

Reid frowned at the man that scared him so much. "I betrayed L! He's the one I'm with, the one I love...you...I hate you! I didn't do anything to you because I'm not with you, I don't love you!" He yelled loud and angry.

The man glared and wrapped his hand around Reid's throat, pulling him off of the floor. "Don't you dare-! Do you have any idea what I can do to you!?" He said in his low but dark and threatening tone. He pulled something out of his pocket and held it to Reid's stomach.

Reid screamed out at the pain that shot through his stomach.

"Spencer, Spencer, calm down! Spencer, wake up!" L said as he tried to hold Reid down against the bed. His younger lover was tossing and turning, thrashing on the bed, lashing out at him...and he was screaming.

"No! Stop it! Please, stop! Stop!" Reid was screaming as he continued to thrash around the bed.

"Spencer, it's me, it's okay to wake up." L said; he moved his hands and grabbed Reid's shoulders, pinning him down to the bed. "Spence, it's me!"

Reid's eyes shot open, he stared at L but his body continued to try and get away from the older man.

"Spence, it is me, L. Calm down."

Reid stopped moving and looked up at L, his eyes rimmed with tears as they focused on L's face. "Eh-L? You...L?"

"Yes, it is me..." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry!" Reid wrapped his arms around L's neck and pulled him down and close to him. "I am so sorry." He sobbed into L's shoulder.

"Sorry? What for, you have not done anything wrong."

"I have though! I did something really bad...and you're not going to forgive me for it!" Reid sobbed harder and louder. L stayed silent, so Reid looked up at him. "I did something really bad." He said and tried to stop his crying.

L's face was unreadable and his eyes had an expression Reid couldn't place. "What did you do?"

"I-I..." Reid took a few deep and shaky breaths. "I slept with Morgan."

End of chapter 4!

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