So sorry for not updating! Here's the next chapter!

Upside Inside Out

Edward.

Tuesday

"Umph," I grunted, rolling over and stuffing my face into something soft I recognized dimly as my pillow. My obnoxious alarm beeped at the side. I felt woozy. If I had a hangover, this was probably how it felt…minus the headache. "Five more minutes, mom."

An annoyingly chipper voice spoke from my side, sounding vaguely irritated even through the fog clouding my mind. "First, I am not your mom, and thank god for that. I mean, imagine your huge head fitting through my vagina. Ugh. So not happening! I would probably get an infection or something. Plus, you probably came out hairy, so-"

"Alice!" I muttered. "Information overload."

"Anyway, you should get up. The school specifically requested all students to be at school on time."

I grunted again and rolled so my back was facing her. Morning people should be banned from society. "And since when did I care about the school administration? They could tell us to jump off a building and I'd be the only one standing back laughing."

Alice sniffed haughtily. "Glad to know you think so highly of me, Miss Rebel. But get up anyway. I think there's a presentation in the morning."

I groaned. "Oh, wow. A pep rally. Like we didn't get enough of that back in Ohio…or was it Chicago?"

"Orlando, you pighead. And Forks doesn't have any cheerleaders. There's too little bimbos for that."

Thank you, Alice, for reminding me that we had once been in the Miami vicinity. I had lost track of where we had moved to over the past years. I felt like a military brat. Okay, so I was overstating it. I was a medical brat.

"Ugh," I muttered into the pilow. "This stinks."

"I know you're not a morning bird, Eddie, but get up, will you?!"

Actually I was referring to the fact that we had moved so much, but that didn't bother Alice. She dragged me up from the bed. Too bad she didn't exercise much, because she lost grip the moment I stood and I fell onto the floor. The hard, cold floor. The hard, cold, marble floor.

"Alice!" I complained. Great, I sounded like Emmett.

Alice just giggled and whisked off in a flurry of tiered pink skirts. I huffed, sounding strangely like my grandmother Masen, who I occasionally keep in touch with. I sniffed my arms. I smelled like her. Probably that new detergent Esme used.

I stalked to the bathroom, slamming it behind me. Emmett laughed from somewhere in his bedroom.

.xXx.

After a long, cold shower I remembered Bella Swan. That exact moment I started hyperventilating. Oh, no. Me, hyperventilating? Had she put me under some spell? I shudder.

After the combined efforts of Alice and Esme, they finally dragged me to the car…very reluctantly. I complained and whined the whole way.

"Suck it up, Eddie boy. You just don't want to see the new girl," Emmett told me. I glared at him.

"I am not Eddie boy, and the new girl has nothing to do with this," I muttered.

"Sure, go ahead and kid yourself," he snorted. I had the stunning urge to throw something heavy at him…hopefully a glass vase that might smash into a million pieces on his head.

When we finally arrived in school, everyone was gathered in the lecture hall. The lecture hall was only used when there was either a motivational talk or someone getting ratted out in public. I hoped it was the latter. I was in the mood to see some tears and guilt pouring.

Sadly, it was neither. They had gathered us in the hall to listen to a talk…about an upcoming carnival, of all things.

I slumped down in the plastic chair, gripping onto the metal sides, willing myself not to look at her. I was never one to exercise self-control though, and I looked.

She was stunning. Not to get me wrong, but living with Alice did teach me some things about fashion, albeit grudgingly, and even with my male-impaired fashion sense I could tell Bella Swan had a flair for making the strangest things look good.

She was wearing a tattered black trench coat that just about touched her knees, showing her creamy pale skin while protecting her from the continuous storm outside. Underneath it she was wearing simple dark jeans and a plain white tee shirt. Simple, plain clothes. And she was beautiful.

She walked carefully to a seat near the front of the hall. God, she was going to kill me. I wanted to jump her.

"Ooh, Edward's getting turned on," Emmett whispered to me. I stepped on his foot hard. I wasn't. I just wanted to get to know her. Emmett always had to blow things out of proportion-just because he was a hormonal, walking bundle of testerone that couldn't go five minutes without frenching his girlfriend didn't mean everybody else was. He expected everyone to have the emotional quotient of a teaspoon and the hormonal quotient of him.

As if to prove my point, Emmett grabbed Rosalie and nuzzled her neck.

Gross.

The principle tapped the mike with one long nail-can't she hear it squeaking already?-and blew into it for good measure. God, she was an idiot.

"Good morning, Forks High. As you all know, we're here because of an upcoming carnival to be hosted in Forks. It is a police cum funfair event, and proceeds from the carnival will be donated to RSPCA."

Her voice was so high-pitched, it scraped at my nerves. Suddenly I felt angsty, and all the angst was directed straight at Isabella Swan…at Ms McCoy, the stinking principle who had no clue how to speak to a mass group of pulsing young adults craving blood.

"There will be a few events we will be participating in. First is a short extract from Romeo and Juliet, which four students have already graciously volunteered for," she continued. Great choice, choosing Shakespearean literature where practically every main character died or got arrested. Romeo got killed, Juliet killed herself twice and Paris got killed.

"The second event will be a kissing booth. We will require three volunteers. Female volunteers," she added when Mike got a little enthusiastic.

The whole hall snickered and Rose and Alice raised their hands, much to the dismay of Emmett and Jasper respectively. I watched Bella to see if she would volunteer, but apparently she found kissing booths distasteful. I even saw a little shudder. If she disliked kissing booths, I had to befriend her.

"One more? Jessica Stanley? Good..good…"

Ew. Jessica Stanley at the kissing booth? I made a mental note to avoid the place at all costs.

"The last item on the list is an auction. Yes, I know it sounds crude, but this is not an auction to sell bodies. Rather, the winner gets to take the prize on one date-one date-and one date only. The auction begins now as the money will go to setting up the carnival."

Could she have stressed the one date any more?

"We have already…"

She was so weird. Her hair, that yucky brown mud hair, looked like it had been fried, ironed, and boiled. Not a good look for anyone.

"Ten girls have been selected from different levels…"

And her eyes-yuck. It was the colour of dead fish, a nasty slimy grey colour. Her skin matched. It was a pale washed-out brownish colour.

"First up Rosalie Hale Cullen…"

"One thousand bucks!" Mike shouted.

"Ten thousand dollars and the Buckingham Palace while we're at it!" Emmett shrieked, glaring at Mike.

"Sold!" cried the principle.

Big shocker there.

"Next up…Alice Mary Brandon Cullen…"

"Fifteen thousand!" Jasper screamed before Tyler could open his mouth.

"Sold!" the principle yelled when nobody protested.

Whoo-hoo, what a surprise. Not. They really had to get some good girls up. Carlisle was going broke at this rate.

"Third one…"

Jessica? Lauren? Angela?

"Isabella Swan!"

What?